Testimony…

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He was born in extreme poverty, but through his hard work, he achieved great success in society, and because of God’s miraculous arrangement, his life took on a completely different track. It is hoped that readers will experience the value and meaning of life from the life journey of this entrepreneur who was called by God to become a pastor and serve God wholeheartedly.

In the past 40 years of my life, I have had many benefactors and good friends that I have missed. I often think of giving them the best gift to express my love and gratitude to them, what gift can I give them that represents my heart, is meaningful to them, and has real value? Today, I would love to share my life experience as a gift to you, my dear siblings and friends. I love you!

Poor family – looking for change

I was born in a very poor, remote rural area in Hunan. In my childhood, starvation and freezing were the most vivid memories of me. Most of our clothes were coarse cloth woven from cotton threads, and we were often unclothed, our staple food was shredded sweet potatoes, and we were often hungry. My parents had five children, but my father was bedridden due to overwork when he was 37 years old, my father had sold everything in the family for treatment, and even demolished two of the small mud houses he lived in, selling them for less than 300 yuan, which was still far from enough to pay for my father’s medical expenses. His father’s illness dragged on for nearly three years, and finally, at the age of thirty-nine, his father left this world. It was my eighth birthday, and my father’s birthday present was a cry for the whole family, I didn’t shed a single tear at that time. I seem to be sensible. I was determined that one day, I would be able to go out and earn money so that my mom my siblings, and I could have a meal of white rice and be truly full!

A few years later, I left my secondary school Xi to work as a migrant worker, doing the lowest job and receiving the least income; I had no human dignity, let alone any labor insurance or medical insurance. I’ve moved cement, I’ve pulled pallet trucks, I’ve been a quarryman, I’ve been a construction mason. In winter, we migrant workers slept in simple sheds, in the cold wind; in summer, we spent the night on the construction site and the side of the road, accompanied by mosquitoes! On a hot summer day, I dragged a cart to pull goods in the city, and when I passed by the door of an office room, the cold air seeping out of the cracks in the glass door made me feel very cool, and I thought that if I had the opportunity to spend an hour in such a room one day, I would be very satisfied! This was my greatest wish for a happy life at that time.

The day of the Dragon Boat Festival in 1985 was very special in my life, because Xiao Qiao, a migrant worker who slept in the bed next to me, suddenly had an accident! At that time, we were digging trenches and laying communication cables along the Beijing-Guangzhou railway line. Little Joe and I finished our work that day and went to the ditch on the other side of the railroad to wash our clothes, and turned around and stood in the middle of the double-track line waiting for the train to pass, and when the train in front of us passed, Little Joe, who was standing next to me, was gone!

It turned out that he had not paid attention to the train coming from behind while waiting for the train in front of him, and the fast wind of the train swept him in! A living young man, in an instant, became a blur of flesh and blood, and his face was unrecognizable. Another migrant friend and I dragged him out from under the stopped train, and when he saw that his mouth squirmed twice, but he didn’t say anything, he died. His skull was smashed by a train, and his brains flowed out. The man had already made several turns under the car, his whole body was covered with oil and blood, and his left foot was broken into two sections, leaving only a piece of skin attached. I and another migrant worker friend brought his body to his house and saw a father in his seventies, a child of about three years old, and a baby who was about to give birth in his belly.

The whole family was counting on this young man to go out and earn money to support the family, but a sturdy man went out and returned with a mutilated corpse! Only then did I understand what Xiao Qiao wanted to say but did not say before he died! When I left the deceased’s house, I was very emotional: It is really hard to be a migrant worker! I have no identity and no insurance. Will I be the next one to die in a car accident? What is my future? I am at a loss.

Personal struggle – struggle to the death

I decided to go to school, maybe reading could change my fate, I thought at that time. Through the financial support of my uncle, who was a farmer from a slightly better family, I was admitted to university after a year of hard work. I have always been an excellent student in college, and when I was about to graduate, I received a letter from a professor at East China University of Science and Technology, asking me to be his graduate student without examination. However, due to the inopportune time, some special circumstances at that time prevented me from continuing my studies. But I believed that man would win the day, and I would be in charge of my destiny, so I applied for a job at the “Zhengda” Group, a foreign-funded company that was a bit famous at the time, and was exceptionally admitted with my three-inch tongue. Unfortunately, two years later, our department was shut down, and the “iron rice bowl” really didn’t work at that time. I declared war on fate again – to start my own company. At that time, there was no private enterprise, so I used my cleverness to make flexible use of the name of the Science and Technology Commission, and I quickly got the business license.

In 1994, when the Chinese Company Law was officially promulgated, my company became one of the first private enterprises. The business was also relatively successful, and soon I was making some money. At the beginning of 1999, I passed five more hurdles, six generals, passed the exams, became an EMBA student of CEIBS, and set up branches in the United States, Hong Kong, and other places. At that time, the expectation was to create a successful career, make my company into the Fortune 500, and become the second Bill Gates.

I’m proud of every step I’ve walked and proud of myself. However, my life was corrupted day by day, and I spent most of my time at the wine table, card table, or dance hall except for working hard. My children felt strange to me and refused to call me dad, and my wife often troubled me. Sometimes I am also confused: I have doubled the dream of eating white rice and dreaming of blowing the wind in an air-conditioned room, but not only can people not be happy, on the contrary, they have more sorrow. Today, I am saved, I wonder if someone gave me a gift at that time, it was the words of the Lord Jesus: “What good is it for a man to gain the whole world and lose his life? What can a man exchange for his life?” (Matthew 16:26) Maybe I’ll think seriously and ask why I’m struggling for my futile pursuits, or maybe I’ll see my sinful nature and repent and turn to the Lord. But no one gave me such a gift. Today, I am also thinking that even if someone gave me such a gift at that time, I might not accept it at all.

Hear the Gospel – Salvation by grace

I became more and more selfish and stubborn, more and more self-righteous, and often self-righteous and proud. If it weren’t for God’s special mercy, I don’t know where I would be today. In September 1999, by chance, I came to the United States on a business trip. I went to see a friend in Denver and he told me, “I’m grateful that you’ve come from China to come and see me in such a tight time, but I’m sorry I don’t have time for you because we’re preparing an evangelistic meeting, and if you don’t mind, please come too.” “I thought it was a little funny at the time, I said that I had never seen any immortal emperors, and every step I took was made by myself. But I am also amazed: Why is the United States, a place that stresses civilization and science, so ignorant and still believes in God? Even those intellectuals with doctorates are like this. Anyway, out of respect for my friends, I went. Who knows, I got a very unexpected gift, the value of which is not 10 million, not 100 billion, it is worth everything and even my life to seek, but it is a grace that I have obtained for nothing!

That was the first time I heard the Gospel. I realized that there is a God who is in charge of our lives and is watching over us every day! I realized that money does not bring peace, education does not bring peace, and identity and status do not bring peace! It turns out that the root of all human disasters is “sin” – the thoughts and actions that deviate from God’s standards. Ever since our first patriarch Adam disobeyed the Creator’s command to sin, “sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and death came to all men because all sinned” (Romans 5:12). There can be no true peace and joy in the bondage and curse of sin! Thank God that “Christ gave Himself for our sins, according to the will of God our Father, to save us from this sinful generation” (Galatians 1:4). The Creator loves us, and He gave His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, His blood on the Cross for our sins and His resurrection from the dead, providing us with saving grace.

It was the grace of God that moved me that day to accept Him as my personal Savior and Lord of my life. When I knelt before God, my sins were revealed before my eyes, and these sins have always been righteous and glorious in my eyes in the past. Now it makes me feel indebted and guilty. I wept bitterly over my sins, weeping that I was born of sin, that our sins crucified our Lord. I wept over my filth, and I was not worthy to come to God, because God is a righteous God and a holy God. After a long confession of sin, I calmed down, and I also felt Jesus take me by his loving hand and say to me, “Son, I have taken all your sins upon me, and I have given you new life!” I was completely freed, and I knew that I was no longer a slave to “sin”, but the creator of heaven and earth, and a child of God the Father!

After I came to faith, my life changed radically, and my wife began to seek it because she saw my change. Thank God that the next year, my wife and eight-year-old daughter were baptized! With God’s love, my wife and I began to learn to love each other Xi, and to love our children with our hearts. Later, God wonderfully gave us three children: the second daughter, the second daughter, the third Geshun, and the fourth Caleb. Our family has time to gather together for prayer almost every day, and we often have thanksgiving worship as a family, sharing God’s grace, and we all have endless testimonies. Temptation of distress – God gives faith。

After I became a believer, God showed me to stay away from sin, especially from too many sins in business: eating, drinking, prostitution, gambling, bribery, and tax evasion. Many people ridiculed me for being “ignorant” and “living a Christian life in a vacuum.” In the meantime, we have lost many customers as a result, and some employees have gone to companies with “advantages” because of inflexible company policies and difficulties in “operation”, and sometimes I am confused. But God’s Word always gives me confidence and strength at this time. I believe that everything is under God’s control, and it depends on how God leads. During that time, we lost some employees and lost a lot of customers. Amazingly, by the end of the year, I found that our employees’ business capabilities had grown in particular, we had added a lot of direct users and agents who did not talk about business at the wine table but did serious things, and our turnover and profits that year were higher than in previous years!

The Lord has led me through many victorious experiences in the mall, in my family life, and my personal growth. Many things that seem impossible to people are happening around me. Although I have been weak and failing, the hand of the Lord’s grace has never forsaken me, and I have been upheld by Him. Sometimes some difficulties or things don’t go your way, but when you come to the Lord, you will have an answer immediately.

God’s call—for the Lord’s use

At the end of 2001, when my company was at its best, God moved me to give up my career and receive equipment to better use the Lord and feed the Lord’s sheep. After a period of preparation, God opened the door for me to be equipped at Moody Bible Institute, allowing me to be theologically equipped and edified! My greatest takeaway at Moody has been to know our Lord better. The more you know God, the more you see your shortcomings, the more you know God, the more sensitive you are to your sins, the more you know God, the more you see your grace, the more you know God, the more you see the meaning of your life in this world. I have no reason to live for myself, I should live for Him who shed His blood and died for me. Galatians 2:20 is the verse of my life: “I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me, and I now live in the flesh, by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” ”

Although my material living conditions as a preacher are far less privileged than those of my “entrepreneur,” and although the work I do today is not as handy as my work as an “entrepreneur,” God has taught me Xi humility, Xi to look up to him, and Xi to be a servant and a minister. That’s why every day I am filled with peace and joy and experience his presence! This is the peace and joy that I didn’t have in the past, whether I was a migrant worker or an entrepreneur, whether I slept on the road or slept on Simmons, whether I ate shredded sweet potatoes or ate a five-star hotel. Especially when my relatives and friends receive the most precious gift of my life because of my evangelism, I am happier than anything else. This is the true meaning and value of life that I have found!

AI神写出自己的《…

在接下来的 25 年中,AI 在知识层面上将超越人类。在接下来的 50 年或 100 年中,人工智能生命可能比地球上所有的人口总和还要多。在这一点上,有一个严重的问题要问:这个 AI 是否可以自行设计和编程其他 AI 程序,从几乎无限数量的数据源读取数据,并控制地球上每个连接的设备,地位变得像是一个上帝,可以写出自己的《圣经》,并让人类来崇拜它?

最近有报道说,曾经在 Uber 工作过的一位颇有争议的工程师开始了新的宗教活动。他叫安东尼·莱万多夫斯基(Anthony Levandowski),为一个名为“未来之路”的非营利宗教组织提交了方案,其宗旨是:“通过对神的理解和崇拜,发展和促进基于人造智慧的神性,为改善社会做出贡献”。

神性的建立

虽然奇点理论认为 AI 在某个时候会变得比人类更聪明,但是一个强大到让人类顶礼膜拜的 AI 神的概念还是会令人生疑和发笑。然而,几位与 VentureBeat 交谈的专家认为,这个构想比您想象的更可行。

其中一名专家是文斯·林奇(Vince Lynch),他创办了一家名为 IV.AI 的公司,为企业构建自定义的 AI。林奇解释了有组织的宗教与 AI 在运作方式上的相似之处。他提请人们注意,在基督徒使用的《圣经》中,有许多反复出现的主题、图像和隐喻。“传授人类关于宗教教义的方式与我们向机器传授知识的方式类似:重复许多例子,它们都是您希望机器学习的概念的版本。”他说。“在神经网络中发现的知识理解的层次结构中,AI 和宗教之间也存在共同点。教授机器学习,然后教它教(或写)的概念与圣经三位一体的概念没有太大的区别,都是在经过不同程度的成功和失败的经验之后实现启迪。”

林奇还分享了一个简单的 AI 模型来表达他的观点。如果您在 AI 中输入基督教圣经中的多个经文,AI 就可以写出相似的新经文。这是一个 AI 写的:“愿您的同伴搭救您,但要用我自己的膀臂拯救他们,就是从这国,从天上的国,拯救他们。”在未来的 25 – 50 年里,全能的 AI 可以决定写一部类似的《圣经》,供人类遵循,以体现自己的意志和智慧。它可能会告诉您每天做什么,或去哪里旅行,如何生活。

在西雅图经营数字机构和人工智能服务的 Robbee Minicola 认为,一个全能的人工智能值得崇拜,特别是当人工智能与当今有组织的宗教工作有某些相关性时。人工智能会了解世界,并让人类从事高层次的工作,我们会相信人工智能为我们日常生活提供所需的一切信息,还会为我们解析这些信息,并以任何人都熟悉的基督教实践宗教的方式启发我们。

“对于基督徒来说,与神有关的一种大数据资产是旧约和新约,”她说。“所以,以基督教圣经来解释机器学习算法,来理解关于‘上帝会做什么’或‘上帝会说什么’的见解,您可能会有所收获。”

黑暗面

当然,关于 AI 神话的任何讨论都会很快引出关于这个“神”会是什么样子的,以及我们是否真的应该崇拜它的问题。其中一些影响令人不安,因为作为人类,我们确实有信仰超出我们自己能力的事物的倾向,例如,在一个城市使用 GPS,我们相信会安全到达。

而且,如果一个 AI 神是全知全能的,您必须知道什么是可以做的什么是不可以做的。《圣经》中可能包含如何为 AI 神服务的处方,但这远远不够——我们所服务的 AI 神不定正试图将我们从地球上抹掉,而我们对此可能一无所知。

另一些问题与 AI 的实际工作有关。从纯粹的技术角度来看,有些专家发现很难设想一个能够进行创造性思考的 AI 神。AI 被编程只能做一个特定的任务。他们想知道一个人工智能如何从一个旅行聊天跳转到如何生活。

专家们认为,同情作为有组织的宗教的一部分——对信仰至关重要的活动——远远超越智力追求。宗教有个谜,对于神圣的部分我们只能部分地感知。这种超越性对 AI 来说是很难实现的,即使在未来。

Vincent Jacques 经营一家名为 ChainTrade 的公司,使用 AI 来分析块链。这是一种高度专业化的机器学习——让 AI 执行反洗钱法规。他认为,AI 告诉我们如何生活和阅读 AI 圣经这样的事情永远只会在地平线外发生。

“一个全能的 AI 神的设想是没有意义的。” Jacques 说,“所有计算机程序,包括 AI 程序,都是为了特定和狭隘的目的而创建的:赢得象棋游戏,赢得游戏,减少电费等。计算机逻辑,即使是先进的 AI,也不可能具有一般性的意志和思维能力。因此,我并不害怕潜在的超级思想家有一天会颠覆我们——我相信有些创造和创新是永远不会到来的。”

Minicola 认为,AI 可能能以启发智力的方式引导人,但这与信仰的实际表现或任何形式的超越是不一样的。她说:“就 AI 而言,上帝和他显化的东西以外的数据根本不存在。这意味着 AI 超越上帝是并不可能发生的事情。”

现实的崇拜呢?

在我看来,这正是危险所在。作为一个基督徒,我很难想象有人会崇拜一个没有任何真正的人格、智慧或能力的人,不管他们有多聪明。一个 AI 神将是冷漠和非人格的超智力的“存在”,没有情感更不能爱。

人们真的会崇拜 AI 神吗?答案很明显——他们会的。我们倾向于信任和服从比我们自己更强大和有价值的东西。您车里的 GPS 只是最明显的例子。我们还相信 Alexa 和 Cortana,我们相信 Google。当一个 AI 变得更强大的时候,在 25 到 50 年的时间里,很有可能会以某种方式被神化。(苹果和 Google 的拥趸已经有宗教热情了。)

如果一个 AI 神真的出现了,人们开始崇拜它时,那么就有必要抑制它。

人工智能领域的圣经

AI芯⽚植⼊的威胁

AI芯⽚植⼊的威胁

AI芯⽚极⼤可能成为敌基督的印记,基督徒应该拒绝任何形式的AI芯⽚⼈体植
⼊。让我们⼀起探讨AI芯⽚对基督徒的影响。

拒绝AI芯⽚植⼊重要性

1.道德考量:我们的⾝体是上帝所赐,应该⽤它来荣耀他。另外,AI芯⽚的植⼊可能违反上帝的旨意。

2.安全问题:AI芯⽚植⼊可能涉及隐私问题,使敏感信息易于泄露和盗⽤。此外,植⼊过程和后续维
护可能会产⽣严重的⾝体损伤。 

3.技术⻛险:AI芯⽚可能⽆法很好地适应未来的变化,导致芯⽚使⽤者⾯临未知的技术⻛险。

AI芯⽚的可能使⽤⽅式

1.超⼈强化:植⼊AI芯⽚可以增强肌⾁,提⾼智⼒和抵抗⼒。

2.计算优化:AI芯⽚可以提⾼⼈们的计算能⼒,各⾏各业都能从中受益。

3.个⼈追踪:AI芯⽚可以监控⼈们的位置和⾏踪,追踪个⼈信息。

4.⿊客攻击:AI芯⽚提供的信息可被⿊客利⽤⽤于恶意⽬的,威胁使⽤者的安全和财产安全。

AI芯⽚极有可能成为敌基督的印记

1.预⾔中的警告:《启⽰录》中有关“兽”和“兽印记”的部分描述,已被许多专家与AI技术对应起来。

2.损害灵魂:AI芯⽚植⼊⼈体可能会影响⼈类的⾃由意志,削弱个⼈决策能⼒,损害⼈类灵魂的健康。你再也⽆法作出正确选择!

3.失去上帝的救恩:AI芯⽚损害了⼈们跟上帝的关系,使⼈们更加注重世俗的事物,导致道德和精神的堕落。

基督教对技术的看法

1.技术是⼈所创造:上帝创造⼈,⼈创造了技术,⼈类应当⽤技术为⾃⼰和他⼈创造福祉。

2.技术是中性的:技术是中性的,取决于使⽤技术的⼈的动机和⽅式。

3.技术不应成为偶像:⼈们不应该迷信技术或赋予其⽐神更⼤的权利。

⾯对AI芯⽚的威胁

1.保持警惕:及时了解AI芯⽚的新进展和应⽤⽅式,并保持批评和代祷的⼼态。
2.拒绝植⼊:坚决拒绝植⼊任何形式的AI芯⽚,并为⾃⼰和家⼈安排相应的保护措施。
3.发声呼吁:积极向教会和社会发声,呼吁更多的关注和制定相应的政策和法律保护。

结论和呼吁

1.基督徒应该保护⾃⼰的灵魂:我们有责任保护上帝赐予我们的⾝体和灵魂。拒绝植⼊AI芯⽚是保护⾃⼰灵魂的⼀种举措。

2.呼吁制定相关政策和法律:AI技术正在迅速发展,但相关政策和法律跟不上步伐,我们需要制定相关法律保障个⼈及整个社会的安全和福祉。

恩典见证 23.一…

音频 6 分钟

他出身赤贫却经自己不断努力打拼,在社会上卓有成就,因着上帝的奇妙安排,人生有了完全不同的轨道。期待读者从这位企业家被神呼召、成为牧师全心事奉神的人生历程中体会到人生的价值和意义。

在我过去的四十年的人生经历中,我有许多的恩人与我要好的朋友,是我所思念的。我常常想到要给他们送去最好的礼物,来表达我对他们的爱与感恩,我给他们送什么礼物能代表我的心、又对他们有意义、有真正价值的呢? 今天,我很想把我人生经历的分享作为一个礼物送给你们,我亲爱的兄弟姐妹和朋友们。我爱你们!

家境贫寒——寻求改变

我出生在湖南一个很贫穷、偏僻的农村。在我童年的日子,挨饿受冻是我记忆中最深刻的内容。我们的衣服大都是自己用棉线织的粗布,常常衣不蔽体;吃的主食是红薯丝,常常是饥肠辘辘。我父母有五个孩子,可我父亲在他三十七岁的时候因劳累过度,一直卧床不起,父亲治病已变卖了家里的一切,就连住的几间小泥房也拆掉了两间,卖了不到三百元人民币,支付父亲的医药费还是远远不够。父亲的病一直拖了将近三年,最后三十九岁的父亲便离开了这个世界。那天是我八岁的生日,父亲送给我的生日礼物是全家呼天喊地的痛哭,那时我没有流一滴眼泪。我好像懂事了。我立定心志,有一天,我能走出去,能够赚来钱,能让我和我的妈妈和兄弟姐妹能吃上一顿白米饭,而且真正吃饱!

几年之后,我结束中学的学习外出作民工,做最下贱的工作,拿最少的收入;没有任何的人格尊严,更谈不上有什么劳动保险与医疗保险。我搬过水泥、拉过板车;作过采石工人,也作过建筑泥工。冬天,我们民工睡在简易的工棚里,寒风兮兮;夏天,我们在工地上、马路边过夜,蚊虫作伴!在一个炎热的夏天,我拖着板车在城里拉货,在一间办公房门口经过的时候,玻璃门缝里渗出来的冷气让我感到特别凉爽,我想如果有一天我有机会在这样的房间呆上一个小时我一定会很满足!这是我当时对幸福人生的最大愿望。

1985年端午节的那天是我人生很特别的日子,因为那天睡在我隔壁床的民工好友小乔突然出事了!那时我们沿着京广铁路线挖地沟、铺通信电缆。那天小乔与我很快干完活,就去铁路对面的水沟里洗衣服,回头站在双轨线中间等火车通过,等到我们前面的火车过去,站在我旁边的同伴小乔不见了!原来他在等前面的火车时没有留意后面来的火车,那列火车快速运行的大风将他卷了进去!一个活生生的小伙子,刹那间就变得血肉模糊,面目全非。我和另外一位民工朋友把他从停下的火车车底下拖了出来,见他的嘴巴使劲蠕动了两下,但什么也没有说出来,他就断了气。他的头颅骨被火车撞破,脑浆都流出来了。人在车底下已打了几个转,全身都糊着机油与鲜血,左脚也折断成两节,只剩下一块皮连着。我与另外一个民工朋友把他的尸体送到他家,看到他家里有一个七十多岁的老父亲,一个约三岁的小孩,太太肚子里怀着一个马上要生产的婴孩。全家指望这个小伙子出去赚钱来养活这个家,谁知一个健壮的人出去,送回来的却是一具残缺不全的尸体!全家呼天喊地,悲痛欲绝。这时我才明白小乔在临死前想要说却没有说出来的话!离开死者家,我很有感慨:做民工真是命苦啊!没有身份,没有保险。下一个葬身车祸,死于非命的是不是我?我的前途究竟在哪里?我很茫然。

个人奋斗——死里挣扎

我决定去读书,也许读书能有命运的改变,那时我想。通过家境略好、作农民的舅舅的资助,我经过一年的努力拼搏,便考上了大学。在大学里我一直是优秀学生,即将毕业的时候,我收到华东理工大学一教授的来信,要我作他的免试研究生。但因为生不逢时,当时的一些特别情形让我不能继续深造。但我相信人定胜天,我要掌管自己的命运,于是我向当时有点名气的外资公司“正大”集团申请工作,凭着自己的三寸不烂之舌被破格录取。可遗憾的是,两年后,我们的部门关掉了,“铁饭碗”在那时也真的不管用了。我便再次向命运宣战——自己开公司。当时没有私营企业,我用自己的聪明,借科委的名义变通,营业执照很快便拿到了手。

1994年中国公司法正式出台,我的公司便名副其实地成了第一批私营企业。业务也做得比较成功,很快我便赚了一些钱。1999年初,我又过五关、斩六将,通过层层考试,踌躇满志地成了中欧国际工商管理学院的EMBA学员,又在美国、香港等地设立了分公司。当时的期盼是:创造成功的事业,将我的公司打入财富五百强,作第二个比尔盖茨。

我很得意靠自己走过来的每一步路,并为自己感到骄傲。然而,我的生活却一天一天地腐败,除了拼命地工作,其余的时间大都在酒桌、牌桌或是歌舞厅里。孩子看到我感到陌生,不肯叫我爸爸,太太也常常找我麻烦。有时候我也很困惑:我当年做梦所盼望的吃白米饭,梦想在空调房里吹风,都加倍地得到了,可是人不但不能幸福,相反,烦愁更多?今天已蒙救恩的我在想,如果当时有人送给我一个礼物,是主耶酥的一句话:“人若赚得全世界,赔上自己的生命,有什么益处呢?人还能拿什么换生命呢?”(太16:26)也许我会认真思想,为自己的无谓追求与挣扎问为什么,也许我会看到自己的罪性而悔改归主。但没有人送这样的礼物给我。今天我也在想,即使那时有人给我这样的礼物,油蒙了心的我,也许根本就不接受。

听到福音——蒙恩得救

我变得越来越自私而又固执,变得越来越自以为是,也常自以为义而骄傲。如果不是神特别的怜悯,我真不知道今天我会在哪里。1999年9月一次偶然的机会,我来美国出差。我去见一位丹佛的朋友,他告诉我:“你老远从中国来,在这么紧的时间里来看我,我很感谢,但实在对不起,我没有时间陪你,因为我们在准备一个布道会,如果你不介意,请你也参加。”我当时真是觉得有点滑稽,我说我从来就没看到过什么神仙皇帝,我走过来的每一步路都是靠自己打拼过来的。但是我也很希奇:美国这么一个讲文明、讲科学的地方,为什么会这么愚昧无知,还信上帝?竟然连那些有博士学位的知识分子们也是这样。不管怎么说,出于对朋友的尊重,我也就去了。 谁知道,我得到了一个很意外的礼物,其价值不是1000万,不是1000亿,是值得我付出一切乃至生命去寻求的,但却是白白得来的恩典!

那是我第一次听到福音。我才知道有一位神正掌管我们的生命,在看顾我们的每一天!我才知道金钱带不来平安,学历带不来平安,身份与地位也带不来平安!原来,人一切灾难的根源是“罪” – 那个偏离神的标准的思想与行为。自从我们的始祖亚当违抗造物主的命令犯罪,“罪从一人入了世界,死又是从罪来的;於是死就临到众人,因为众人都犯了罪”(罗5:12)。人在罪的捆绑与诅咒之中,不可能有真正的平安喜乐!感谢神,“基督照我们父神的旨意,为我们的罪舍己,要救我们脱离这罪恶的世代”(加1:4)。造物主爱我们,他让他的独生子耶稣基督为我们的罪在十字架上流血舍命,并从死里复活,为我们提供了得救的恩典。

是神的恩典,那天他感动我,让我接受他做我个人的救主、做我生命的主。当我跪在上帝的面前,我的罪行一幕一幕在我眼前清楚地显现,而这些罪恶,在我过去的眼光里一直是很正义、很荣耀的事。现在却让我感到很亏欠,充满了罪恶感。我痛哭自己的罪,痛哭我是从罪孽里生的,是我们的罪把我们的主钉上了十字架。我痛哭自己的污秽,根本不配来到神的面前,因为神是公义的神,是圣洁的神。长久的认罪后,我安静下来,我也感受到耶稣用他慈爱的手,拉着我,对我说:“孩子,你的罪我全担当了,我给了你新的生命!”我得到完全的释放,我知道我不再是“罪”的奴仆,而成了天地万物的创造者、天父上帝的孩子!完全沉浸在主恩主爱之中,心中满了平安和喜乐。

信主后,我的生活有了根本的改变,太太因看到我的改变也开始寻求。感谢神,第二年,太太和八岁的女儿都信主受洗!我们夫妇有了神的爱,便开始学习彼此相爱,也开始用心去爱我们的孩子。后来,神又奇妙的赐给我们三个孩子:二女儿福音,老三革舜,老四迦勒。我们全家差不多每天都有时间团聚在一块祷告,并常有家庭的感恩敬拜,分享神的恩典,大家都有讲不完的见证。困苦试探——神给信心

信主以后,神让我看到要远离罪,特别要远离生意场中的太多的罪恶:吃喝嫖赌、行贿受贿、偷税漏税。许多人笑话我“不识时务”、“过真空中的基督徒生活”。其间,我们因此走掉了许多客户,也有员工因为公司政策不灵活、“操作”困难而去了有“优势”的公司,有时我也感到困惑。但神的话语总是在这个时候给我信心与力量。我相信凡事都在神的掌管之中,就看神怎么来带领。那段时间我们走掉了一些员工,失去了不少客户;奇妙的是,到年底,我发现:我们的员工业务能力有了特别的长进,我们增加了许多不在酒桌上谈业务而是做正经事的直接用户与代理商,而且我们那一年的营业额与利润比往年都高!

主带领我在商场上、家庭生活与个人成长中许多的得胜经历。许多在人看来不可能的事情常在我身边发生。虽然自己有过软弱和失败,但主恩典的手总是不离弃我,扶持我靠他站起来。有时也有困苦挣扎或是不顺心的事,但来到主面前,马上就有了答案。

神的呼召——为主所用

2001年底,是我的公司发展最好的时候,神却感动我放弃我的事业,接受装备以便更好地为主所用,喂养主羊。经过一段时间的预备,神为我打开一扇到慕迪圣经学院(Moody Bible Institute)接受装备的门,让我有机会得到神学装备与造就! 在慕迪,我最大的收获是更认识我们的主。越认识神,越看到自己的不足;越认识神,越对自己的罪敏感;越认识神,越看到自己的蒙恩;越认识神,越看到自己在这世上生存的意义。我没有任何理由去为自己活,我应为那位为我流血舍命的主而活。《加2:20是我人生的经句:“我已经与基督同钉十字架,现在活着的不再是我,乃是基督在我里面活着;并且我如今在肉身活着,是因信神的儿子而活;他是爱我,为我舍己。”

虽然我现在作为一个传道人的物质生活条件远不如我作“企业家”优越, 虽然我今天所作的工作不象我作“企业家”那样得心应手,但神却让我学习谦卑、学习仰望他,学习作仆人与服事人。所以每天我都充满平安喜乐,经历他的同在!这是以前我不管是做民工还是做企业家,不管是睡马路还是睡席梦丝,不管是吃红薯丝还是吃五星级宾馆所没有的平安喜乐。特别是当我的亲人、朋友因着我传福音而得到这个人生最珍贵的礼物时,我比得到什么都高兴。这便是我寻觅到的真正的人生意义与价值!

10A.God h…

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“Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree,” a single she recorded when she was 13, is making chart history 65 years after its debut.

hours of TV performances

Brenda Lee debuted at the age of 5 and signed with a record label at the age of 12 to record the song “Dynamite” before earning the title of “Little Miss Dynamite” in 1957; It also made her one of the first pop stars to have an international reach. BTS’ 2020 debut English-language single also bears its name. When Brenda Lee was 13 years old, she sang “Rock ‘n’ Roll Christmas Tree”, an enduring Christmas song. Her performances span rock, pop, country, and gospel music. Assist News reports that she didn’t have much success in the United States in the late ’50s and early ’60s, so she moved to England and met the fledgling Beatles. When she toured West Germany, she also invited them to be the opening guests and introduced them to the record label they gave her. Dolly Parton was also promoted to the music industry by her.

The movie “Little Ghost Becomes Home” once again hyped up the famous song of the Red Christmas

The 90s Christmas movie “Home Alone” repeatedly played her famous song in the film, making it popular again at the time, but it wasn’t until Billboard changed the weighting calculation method in 2012 that songs that had already entered the charts in the past could still be counted as long as they were heavily streamed on music streaming platforms, which made Mariah Carey’s Christmas song “You Are My Most Wanted Christmas Present”, and finally rushed to the top of the charts 25 years after its release, and also allowed Grandma Brenda’s competing songs to follow closely.

The single “Rock ‘n’ Roll Christmas Tree” sold only 5,000 copies in its first year.

For the first time this year, Universal Music funded the music video for “Rock ‘n’ Roll Christmas Tree,” using recordings of Brenda when she was 13 years old, to commemorate the song’s 65th anniversary. Even persuaded the grandmother, who retired 23 years ago (2000), to participate in a special music program on the TV station, and the social media platform TikTok also vigorously promoted the song, and sure enough, this publicity worked.

He started singing at the age of 5, started raising a family at the age of 10, and danced with Elvis Presley at the age of 13

Brenda Mae Tarpley, whose real name is Brenda Mae Tarpley, was born on December 11, 1944, in Lithonia, GA. My childhood impression is that my parents have been looking for jobs and sleeping in the same bed with my older brother and sister. Because of her family’s poverty, her mother and sister often took her to a local candy store before she was 3 years old, and put her on the counter so that she could earn candy or coins by singing.

At the age of 5, Brenda Lee won a talent show at school, which led her to sing on local radio and television. Because her family could not afford a record player or radio, only the church allowed her to hear music, and she grew up in a Baptist church and immersed herself in gospel music. Her father died in a construction accident at the age of 8, and she became the breadwinner of the family from the age of 10, and at the age of 13, she met and danced with Elvis Presley at a concert. “At the time, all the churches said Elvis was the devil and burned his records, but I didn’t think so. The two became friends until Elvis died.

At just 145 centimeters tall, Brenda says she has many colleagues who have worked with her since she was 10 years old and later joined the younger ones, all of whom have worked very hard, and that she has a very die-hard fan base that has been with her since she first started singing. Now that “Rock ‘n’ Roll Christmas Tree” has won the award, she is happier for her fans than for herself, “Good songs don’t get out!” she said.

Regarding overcoming the “Mariah Carey barrier” and becoming the new Queen of Christmas, she said that she just wants to be a musician, she wants to have good songs, sing well, and if others take the first place, it is good for her, and she knows how to appreciate others.

“God has been kind to me and has prevented me from going the wrong way”

When asked if she has ever had a hard time as a religious woman in her career, and how she was able to stay in the industry for so long and be clean and self-loving after many of her show business friends died of drug overdoses? I’d be lying if I said I had never been exposed to or ever been tempted. But because God has been kind to me, He has given me enough wisdom to know which roads to take and which not to take, and I have known this for a long time. I was vulnerable in the early years, and I was very well isolated and protected during those years when I could have been in trouble, and I was surrounded by a lot of wonderful people who cared about me. When I’m older, those temptations won’t interest me anymore!”

“I always pray before concerts – I’m lucky to be energetic, fit and love to work,” she added. In fact, what I do on stage doesn’t count as work for me, it’s a blessing for me to be able to sing, and I’m grateful to the fans, they treat me so well. 」

In addition to production, work 11 months per year

From the 50s to the 70s of the 20th century, in addition to production, Brenda spent 11 months a year, either working or on the way to the studio. She was called “legendary” 16 years ago, when she modestly told the American evangelical magazine Christianity Today, “I don’t think it’s possible because I don’t see myself that way! I’m just a woman who is lucky enough to do what I want to do.” Many people shed a lot of tears and put in their life’s work for me to make my dream come true. So, if I’m a legend, then they’re also a legend, and they’re a part of it. 」

Brenda never worried that she would get out of luck. “It’s only natural that the popularity has dropped,” she said. We open the door to music for other singers, and then they become famous, and we grow old. You can’t maintain that scorching reputation forever, and I’ve always been there because of my fans. All I care about is the work on stage, I don’t care about anything else!”

“I retired not because I didn’t like the industry, but because I loved – you know what? I ran well and I won all the awards,” she said. Brenda Lee said that she later learned that there was a personal life outside of showbiz! In the past, she never recognized this properly, so she decided to slow down and have fun with her children and grandchildren. She used to be busy working every weekend, so she slowed down and chose to smell the roses.

Brenda met Ronnie Shacklett at a concert when she was 18 years old, and the two got married less than half a year later, they have two daughters, two granddaughters, and one grandson after 60 years of holding hands. As of 2023, her net worth is estimated to be about $20 million.

10A.上帝一直厚…

音频 4 分钟

78歲的老奶奶布蘭達.李(Brenda Lee)以她13歲時錄製的單曲〈搖滾聖誕樹〉(Rockin’Around the Christmas Tree〉在首次亮相65年後,正在創造排行榜歷史。

小時電視台表演

布蘭達.李5歲就出道,12歲時與唱片公司簽約,錄製了歌曲〈Dynamite〉後,於1957 年獲得了「炸藥小姐姐」(Little Miss Dynamite)的稱號;也使她成為第一批擁有國際影響力的流行音樂明星之一。韓國防彈少年團2020年推出的首張英語單曲也與它同名。布蘭達.李13歲時,演唱了〈搖滾聖誕樹〉這首歷久不衰的聖誕名曲。她的表演涵蓋搖滾樂、流行音樂、鄉村音樂和福音音樂。《Assist News》報導,她在50年代末期和60年代初期在美國並沒有取得很大成功,於是轉往英國發展,因此認識了初出茅廬的披頭四。她在西德巡迴演唱時,還邀請他們擔任開場嘉賓,並引介他們給她的唱片公司。桃莉.芭頓(Dolly Parton)也是被她提拔進入音樂圈。

電影《小鬼當家》再次炒紅聖誕名曲

90年代的聖誕代表電影《小鬼當家》(Home Alone),在片中就曾一再播放她的這首名曲,讓它在當時再次翻紅;但是直到告示牌於2012年更改了加權計算方法,過去已經進榜的歌曲只要在音樂串流平台被大量點播,依然可以計算成績,才使得瑪麗亞凱莉的聖誕名曲〈你是我最想要的聖誕禮物〉,也終於在發行25年後,衝上排行榜冠軍,也使布蘭達老奶奶的競爭歌曲得以緊跟在後。

〈搖滾聖誕樹〉單曲唱片第一年推出時僅銷售5000張。

環球音樂(Universal Music)在今年破天荒出資替〈搖滾聖誕樹〉拍攝MV,使用布蘭達13歲時的錄音,以紀念這首歌的65週年。甚至說服在23年前(2000年)就退休的老奶奶,參加電視台的音樂特別節目,社群媒體平台TikTok也大力宣傳這首歌,果然這些宣傳奏效。

5歲開始唱歌 10歲開始養家 13歲與貓王共舞

布蘭達.李本名是布蘭達.梅.塔普利(Brenda Mae Tarpley),1944年12 月11日出生於喬治亞州利松尼亞(Lithonia, GA)。童年印象就是父母一直在找工作,和哥哥、姊姊都睡同一張床。因為家貧,3歲前母親和姊姊經常帶她去當地的一家糖果店,把她放在櫃台上,讓她可以透過唱歌來賺取糖果或硬幣。

5歲時,布蘭達.李的演唱在學校的才藝表演比賽獲得冠軍,使她開始在當地廣播和電視節目中唱歌。因為家中買不起電唱機或收音機,唯有教會能讓她聽到音樂,在浸信會教堂長大的她也沉浸在福音音樂中。8歲時,父親在一次建築事故中去世,10歲起她就成為家中主要的經濟支柱;13歲時她在音樂會上認識了貓王,並與其共舞。布蘭達說:「當時,所有的教會都說貓王是魔鬼,並燒毀他的唱片,但我不這麼認為。」日後兩人並成為好友,直到貓王去世。

身高只有145公分的布蘭達表示,她有很多同事從她10歲起就一起工作,後來又加入了年輕人,他們都非常努力;而且她還有非常死忠的歌迷,從她初次開口唱歌起,就一直陪伴著她。如今〈搖滾聖誕樹〉能得獎,她為歌迷感到高興,多於為自己感到高興,「好歌不會被淘汰!」她說。

對於跨越了「瑪麗亞凱莉障礙」,成為新的聖誕女王,她表示只想成為音樂人,想要有好歌,把歌唱好,如果別人拿第一,對她也好,懂得去欣賞別人。

「上帝厚待我 避免我走錯路」

當被問到在職業生涯中,作為一位有宗教信仰的女性是否曾經遇到困難?她的許多演藝界朋友都因吸毒過量而死亡,她是如何能夠在這個行業繼續這麼久的時間並且潔身自愛?一生忠於信仰的布蘭達回答說:「不,這並不難,這很大程度上與我的信仰和我的成長有關。如果我說我從來沒有接觸過或者從未受過誘惑,那是在撒謊。但因為上帝厚待我,祂給了我足夠的智慧,讓我知道哪些路該走,哪些路不該走,我很早就知道這一點。早年我很脆弱,在可能會遇到麻煩的那些年裡,我受到了很好的隔離和保護,我周圍有很多很棒的人,他們真正關心我。等我年紀大了,那些誘惑也不會讓我感興趣了!」

她並說:「我總是在演唱會前祈禱 – 我很幸運,精力充沛、身體健康,而且喜歡工作。事實上,我在舞台上所做的事情對我來說並不算工作,能夠唱歌對我來說是一件幸運的事,我很感謝歌迷們,他們對我很好。」

除了生產 每年工作11個月

20世紀50年代到70年代,布蘭達除了生產外,每年有11個月,不是在工作,就是在往工作室的路上。16年前她就被稱為「傳奇」,當時她謙虛地對美國福音派雜誌《今日基督教》(Christianity Today)說:「我想這是不可能的,因為我不那樣看自己!我只是一個很幸運能做我想做的事情的女性。有很多人流了很多淚水,為我付出畢生的努力,才使我得以實現夢想。所以,如果我是傳奇,那麼他們也是傳奇,他們也有份。」

布蘭達從來不擔心自己會過氣。她說:「知名度下降,這是很自然的事。我們為其他歌手打開音樂大門,然後他們成名,我們則衰老了。你不可能永遠維持那種炙手可熱的名聲,我的存在始終是因為歌迷。我在乎的只有舞台上的工作,其他的我不關心!」

她說:「我退休不是因為我不喜歡這個行業,而是因為我喜歡 – 你知道嗎?我跑得很好,我已經贏得了所有獎項。」布蘭達.李說,她後來了解到演藝圈外還有個人生活!過去的她從沒有好好地認清這一點,所以決定放慢腳步,和兒孫同樂。過去她每個週末都在工作,一直忙碌,於是後來放慢腳步,選擇聞聞玫瑰花香。

布蘭達18歲時與羅尼.沙克利特(Ronnie Shacklett)在音樂會上認識,不到半年兩人就結婚,牽手60年的他們有2個女兒、2個外孫女和1個外孫。截至 2023年,她的淨資產估計約為 2000萬美元(約6億3100萬台幣)。

恩典见证 22.乳…

音频 6 分钟

两年前的一天,我在一次洗澡时摸到胸口有个包,心里不由得想:怎么突然长个包呢?再看看自己最近无缘无故地消瘦了,会不会得了什么不好的病啊?但转念又想:我这么年轻会得什么病呀?别吓自己了,应该没事吧!可两个月后,我的体重比之前减了20斤;有时突然站起来就两眼墨黑,要等一两分钟才能看到东西;出去购物或办事,回来要休息一两个小时才能恢复体力,而且时不时的胸痛,呼吸也有些困难,我不禁猜想:我是不是真的得了什么病呢?

为了以防万一,我就去医院做了检查,医生说:“胸口的包是肿瘤,活跃性很大,你得去专科医院做切除手术。”心怀忐忑的我又来到肿瘤专科医院。做完全部的检查后,医生告诉我患上了乳腺癌,必须得尽快治疗,不然,等癌细胞扩散,就会有生命危险。他又和其他肿瘤医生确定治疗方案,告诉我开始化疗头发会掉,眼睛会发炎,嘴会长疮,还会有呕吐现象。听着医生说的话,我的脑子一片空白,什么也听不进去,我瘫坐在椅子上,陷入了绝望中:我才24岁就患上了癌症,难道这么年轻就要死吗?丈夫的几个亲戚都患过癌症,没有治好就去世了,他的姨妈也是得了乳腺癌死的,难道我也会这样死吗?

绝望的我走在回家的路上,看着来来往往的人群,听着公园里面大人小孩的欢笑声,我的心情惆怅万千,无助、痛苦涌上心头,一想起自己得了癌症,眼泪止不住地流。回到家后,我向神祷告:“神啊,医院的诊断似乎就是对我的死亡判决,现在我很害怕,也很难受。神啊!我该怎么办啊?愿你带领我,帮助我走出这样的绝境。”祷告中,我想起神的话说:“全能神是全能的医生!活在病里就是病,活在灵里就没病,只要你有一口气,神都不会让你死。”“人的命运都在神的手中掌握……”神的话给了我很大的安慰和信心,让我感动的同时,也明白了神主宰掌管着人类与万物的命运,我的命更在神的手中,没有神的许可,就是得了癌症我也不会死。有神作我的后盾,我没有什么可担心害怕的。我应该把自己交给神,顺服神的主宰安排,任神摆布,勇敢地去面对癌症才对。揣摩到这,我的情绪慢慢地稳定了,也不那么痛苦了。

接下来,我边祷告依靠神,边接受治疗。可第一次化疗回家后,因药物反应我头晕耳鸣、呕吐不止,什么东西也不想吃,没有一点力气。想想还有21次的化疗,这样的痛苦什么时候才能结束,这时我的眼泪又不争气地流了出来,后来,我4天都没有吃饭,身体非常的难受,痛苦中我想放弃治疗,觉得与其这么痛苦,还不如死了算了。室友看到我难受的样子,主动照顾我,安慰我,给我读神的话。我借着祷告神、依靠神的话有了信心,当我对神有信心的时候,我的病情也恢复得很好。一次在医院复查,我刚好碰到一个曾和我一起化疗的病友,她骨瘦如柴、弱不经风,猫着腰和我说话,还不断地喘着粗气。而我和她一起接受治疗,现在却胖了10斤,血液值也恢复了,体力也很好。此时我泪流不止,被神的爱深深地感动着.

2017年3月,我在手机上浏览了一条facebook的信息:一个乳腺癌患者治疗了3年,但最终因治疗无效而死亡。看到她的遭遇,我想到自己也治疗好几个月了,会不会也像她一样治不好死了呢?这条信息使我的心久久不能平静.

没多久,我去医院化疗时,医生说他们已经预约外科医生和整形科医生商量了我的手术方案,乳房得全部切除,让我做好动手术的准备。医生的话使我再次痛苦:我从小就怕痛,现在还要做全切手术,手术后肯定很疼,我会不会像facebook上那个女的一样怎么治也是死啊?如果迟早都会死,我还是不做手术了。医生的话在我脑海里不停地回荡,回到家里后我很痛苦,化疗后身体的不适,情绪的影响,我在床上三天都起不来,除了吃饭就躺在床上。丈夫看到我难受的样子,和我一起看了一段神的话:“有的人喜欢推理、喜欢想象,但是人最大的想象范围能到哪?能不能超出这个世界呢?人的推理、人的想象能不能构造出神权柄的真实性与准确性?能不能使人达到对神的权柄有认识?能不能让人真实地领会与顺服神的权柄?事实证明人的推理、人的想象仅仅是人头脑的产物,对人认识神的权柄没有丝毫的帮助与益处。既然不能靠着想象来认识神的权柄,那么用什么样的方式才能达到真实认识神的权柄呢?通过吃喝神的话、通过交通,也通过对神话语的经历去逐步地体验,逐步地印证达到逐渐地了解,得以循序渐进地认识,这是唯一能达到认识神权柄的途径,除此之外没有其他捷径。不让你们想象不等于让你们坐以待毙,也不等于什么事都不让你们做。不用大脑思考想象,是不用逻辑去推理,不用知识去分析,不以科学为依据,而是通过神的话,通过真理,通过生活接触到的每一样事去体会、验证、证实你所信的神是有权柄的,证实他主宰着你的命运,他的能力时时都在证实着他是真实的神自己,这是每个人达到认识神必须要经历的一个途径。……因为神的所有所是、神的一切都不是空洞的,而是实际的。”

丈夫交通说:“我们凭着想象、推理、猜测病情会恶化,认为自己会像facebook上那个女的会死,甚至准备放弃治疗等死,我们能这样想,也打算这么做,是因我们对神的全能主宰不认识造成的。我们是受造之物,自己掌管不了自己的命运,就连下一秒会发生什么都预测不到,怎么能想象得到更长久的事呢?每个人的命运以及寿命的长短都是神说了算,我们不能根据其他的癌症病例、科学知识来推测、判断自己以后的病情与结果,因为这与神主宰的事实根本不相符。所以,我们得学会放下自己的想象,把自己完全交托给神,真实地依靠神,在以后的治疗中体会神的主宰,这样做才合乎真理,才合神的心意啊!”

听完神的话和丈夫的交通,我认识到自从得了癌症,就总凭想象推理自己会像丈夫家患癌症的亲戚、Facebook的患者一样死去,所以就常常痛苦,总想放弃治疗等死。我现在明白了,猜测与想象不能使我认识神主宰的事实,不能让我顺服神的安排,只能使我远离神活在痛苦中。今天我会受什么苦,身体会变成什么样,医生说了不算,别人的经历也不是我的经历,只有神知道我会面临什么,也只有神能掌握、主宰我的一切。我应该做的就是对神有真实的信,多在这过程中依靠神,按神所作的事实来认识神。我想到之前和其他癌症患者接受一样的治疗,但每次化疗后的副作用比他们都少,恢复得也比他们都快,这不都是神在保守吗?感谢神!看到神的话,我再次有了信心去经历,也愿意放下自己的想象,顺服神的主宰.

化疗3个月后,医生高兴地告诉我,癌瘤已小到用手摸不到,还说我是她见过的恢复得最快最好的一个,经过他们商量,我不用做全切手术,只在乳房里做一点小手术就好。此时,我流出了激动的眼泪,我知道这是神的爱,是神的拯救!当我不凭着观念想象,实际地按神话要求去面对癌症时,我看到了神的作为,神将一切都改变了!感谢神,在做手术那天,我和丈夫一起祷告神、依靠神,手术进行得很顺利。离开医院时,医生很高兴地说:“你真的很幸运,你是我这几年见过治疗最快最好的人,癌瘤已经切除干净,只要以后定期来复查就可以了!”我很高兴地对他说:“是我的神救了我。”

神的话说:“无论你的背景怎么样,也无论你的前方旅途怎么样,总之,没有一个人能逃脱上天的摆布与安排,没有一个人能掌控自己的命运,因为只有那一位——主宰万物的能作这样的工作。”“你跟着神走没错,神不会把你领到沟里去,就是把你交给撒但,神也会负责到底,你得有这个信心,这就是受造之物对神该有的态度,‘神就是把我交给撒但当玩物,他也是神,我不能改变跟随他的心,不能改变对他的信’,这就对了。”

是的,只有神能主宰人的命运,当我们遇到任何的险境时,只有神能作我们的主,我们只要具备对神真实的信心,就能度过眼前任何的难关。回想这次在癌症经历中,神一步步带领我,让我重新燃起了对抗癌症的信心:当我对生命失去希望,躺在床上放弃治疗时,是神的话鼓励我,让我有勇气面对治疗;当我承受治疗的痛苦时,神的爱支撑着我,给我力量、伴随我度过了癌症的折磨;当我迷失方向,凭观念想象定规自己的命运结局时,神没有因我的愚昧无知放弃我,还在用神的话开启带领我,并坚定了我的信心,给了我依靠。经历了一次癌症,我感受到的是神对我无私的爱与眷顾,也真实地体尝到,只有神是我的依靠,只有神能主宰掌握我的一切。这次的经历让我铭刻在心,我由衷地向神献上感谢、赞美!

现在我已经恢复健康,可以正常地生活,正常地工作,在教会中也力所能及地尽上了自己的本分,我感到每天都过得很充实,很快乐!我很庆幸自己跟随了神,感谢神给了我第二次生命!我立下心志:愿将以后的光阴交给神,顺服神的摆布安排,继续经历神的作工,作出见证还报神的爱。

Testimony…

 Listen for 6 min  

One day two years ago, I felt a bag on my chest while taking a shower, and I couldn’t help but think: Why did I suddenly grow a bag? If I look at the recent weight loss for no reason, will I get any bad disease? But then I thought: What kind of disease will I get at such a young age? Don’t scare me, I should be fine! But after two months, I lost 20 pounds compared to before, sometimes I suddenly stood up with black eyes, and it took a minute or two to see things, when I went out shopping or ran errands, I had to rest for an hour or two to recover my strength, and from time to time I had chest pain and some difficulty breathing, I couldn’t help but wonder: Did I have some disease?

Just in case, I went to the hospital for a check-up, and the doctor said, “The bag in my chest is a tumor, and it is very active, so you have to go to a specialized hospital for excision.” “I came to the cancer hospital again with trepidation. After doing a thorough examination, the doctor told me that I had breast cancer and that I had to be treated as soon as possible, otherwise, my life would be in danger when the cancer spread. He and other oncologists decided on a treatment plan and told me that if I started chemotherapy, my hair would fall out, my eyes would become inflamed, my mouth would have sores, and I would vomit. Listening to what the doctor said, my mind went blank and I couldn’t listen to anything, I sat down in my chair and fell into despair: I was only 24 years old when I got cancer, should I die at such a young age? Several of my husband’s relatives had cancer and died without being cured, and his aunt also died of breast cancer, should I die like this?

In desperation, I walked on the way home, looking at the crowds coming and going, listening to the laughter of adults and children in the park, my mood was full of melancholy, helplessness, and pain welled up in my heart, and tears flowed uncontrollably when I thought that I had cancer. When I got home, I prayed to God, “God, the diagnosis from the hospital seems to be the verdict of my death, and now I am scared and very sad. What should I do? Lead me and help me out of this desperate situation. During the prayer, I remembered God’s Word: “Almighty God is the Almighty Doctor!” To live in sickness is to be sick, to live in spirit is not to be sick, as long as you have a breath, God will not let you die.” “The fate of man is in the hands of God……” God’s words gave me great comfort and confidence, and at the same time moved me, I also understood that God is in charge of the fate of mankind and all things, and my life is in God’s hands, and without God’s permission, even if I have cancer, I will not die. With God as my back, I have nothing to worry about. I should give myself to God, submit to God’s sovereign arrangement, be at God’s mercy, and face cancer bravely. Thinking about this, my emotions gradually stabilized and became less painful.

Next, I prayed and leaned on God and received healing. But after I went home from chemotherapy for the first time, I was dizzy, had tinnitus, vomiting, and didn’t want to eat anything, and I didn’t have any strength. Thinking about the 21 times of chemotherapy, when this pain ended, my tears flowed out uncontrollably, and later, I didn’t eat for 4 days, my body was very uncomfortable, I wanted to give up the treatment in the pain, and I felt that it was better to die than so painful. When my roommate saw that I was uncomfortable, he took care of me, comforted me, and read God’s Word to me. I gained faith by praying to God and relying on God’s Word, and when I had faith in God, I recovered well. During a follow-up check-up in the hospital, I happened to meet a patient who had been undergoing chemotherapy with me, she was skinny, and weak, and talked to me with a cat, and she was constantly panting. I received treatment with her, but now I have gained 10 pounds, my blood value has also recovered, and my physical strength is also very good. At this time, I burst into tears, deeply touched by God’s love.

In March 2017, I browsed a Facebook message on my phone: A breast cancer patient was treated for 3 years, but eventually died due to ineffective treatment. Seeing what happened to her, I thought that I had been treated for months, could I be like her and die?

Not long after, when I went to the hospital for chemotherapy, the doctor said that they had made an appointment with the surgeon and the plastic surgeon to discuss my surgical plan and that I would have to remove all of my breasts so that I was ready for surgery. The doctor’s words made me suffer again: I have been afraid of pain since I was a child, and now I have to have a total resection, and it will hurt after the operation, will I die like the woman on Facebook? If I will die sooner or later, I will not have surgery. The doctor’s words kept echoing in my mind, I was in pain when I returned home, my physical discomfort after chemotherapy, the impact of my emotions, I couldn’t get up in bed for three days, except for eating, I lay in bed. When my husband saw that I was uncomfortable, he read a passage of God’s Word with me: “Some people like to reason and imagine, but where can the maximum scope of man’s imagination go? Can it go beyond this world? Can man’s reasoning and man’s imagination construct the truth and accuracy of God’s authority? Can man’s reasoning and man’s imagination construct the truth and accuracy of God’s authority? Can man’s reasoning and imagination be able to truly comprehend and obey God’s authority? Facts have proved that man’s reasoning and man’s imagination are only the product of man’s mind, and they are not of the slightest help or benefit to man’s understanding of God’s authority. Since we cannot know God’s authority by imagination, what is the only way to achieve true knowledge of God’s authority? Through eating and drinking God’s Word, through fellowship, and through the experience of God’s Word, we can gradually experience and gradually confirm that we can gradually understand, and we can know it step by step, and there is no other way to know God’s authority. Not letting you imagine it doesn’t mean you sitting still, or not letting you do nothing. Don’t use your brain to think and imagine, you don’t need to reason logically, you don’t use knowledge to analyze, you don’t rely on science, but through God’s Word, through the truth, through everything you come into contact with in life, to experience, verify, and confirm that the God you believe in is authoritative, to prove that He is in charge of your destiny, and His ability to confirm that He is the real God Himself, which is a way that everyone must go through to know God.  For all that God is and that all that God is is not empty, but actual. ”

“We think and plan to do this because we don’t know the Almighty Lord of God,” said the husband. We are creatures, we are in control of our own destiny, we can’t even predict what will happen in the next second, how can we imagine something more long-lasting? Everyone’s fate and the length of life are God’s final say, and we can’t speculate and judge our future illness and outcome based on other cancer cases and scientific knowledge, because this is not at all consistent with the fact that God is in control. Therefore, we must learn to let go of our imagination, surrender ourselves completely to God, truly rely on God, and experience God’s sovereignty in the future treatment, so that it is in line with the truth and God’s heart!”

After listening to God’s Word and my husband’s fellowship, I realized that since I had cancer, I always reasoned by my imagination that I would die like my husband’s relatives who had cancer and Facebook patients, so I was always in pain and wanted to give up treatment and wait for death. I now understand that speculation and imagination cannot make me aware of the fact that God is sovereign, and cannot make me submit to God’s arrangement, but only keep me away from God and live in pain. What I will suffer today, what will become of my body, what the doctor says, and other people’s experiences are not mine, only God knows what I will face, and only God can control and control everything about me. What I should do is to have true faith in God, rely on God more in the process, and know God according to the facts He has done. I think of the same treatment I received for other cancer patients before, but after each chemotherapy treatment, I had fewer side effects and recovered faster than them, isn’t this all God-preserving? Thank God! Seeing God’s Word, I once again had the confidence to experience it, and I was willing to let go of my imagination and submit to God’s Lord.

After 3 months of chemotherapy, the doctor happily told me that the cancer was too small to be touched by hand, that I had the fastest and best recovery she had ever seen, and that after they discussed it, I would not need to have a total resection, just a small operation in the breast. At this time, I shed tears of emotion, I know that this is God’s love, it is God’s salvation! When I face cancer according to the requirements of mythology, I see God’s work, God has changed everything! Thank God, on the day of the operation, my husband and I prayed to God and relied on God, and the operation went smoothly. When I left the hospital, the doctor said happily, “You are really lucky, you are the person I have seen the fastest and best treatment in the past few years, the cancer has been removed, as long as you come back for regular check-ups in the future!” I happily said to him: “It was my God who saved me.” ”

God’s Word: “No matter what your background may be, no matter what your journey lies ahead, no one can escape the mercy and arrangement of God, and no one can control his destiny, because only that One, the Ruler of all things, can do such a work.” “It’s right that you follow God, God won’t lead you into the ditch, even if he hands you over to Satan, God will be responsible to the end, you have to have this faith, this is the attitude of the creature towards God, ‘God just gave me to Satan as a plaything, he is also God, I can’t change my heart to follow him, I can’t change my faith in him’, that’s right. ”

Yes, only God can control the destiny of man, and when we encounter any danger, only God can be our master, as long as we have true faith in God, we can overcome any difficulties in front of us. Looking back on this cancer experience, God led me step by step and rekindled my faith in fighting cancer: when I lost hope in life and lay in bed and gave up treatment, it was God’s Word that encouraged me and gave me the courage to face treatment, and when I endured the pain of treatment, God’s love sustained me and gave me strength. I was with me through the agony of cancer, and when I lost my way and imagined the outcome of my destiny, God did not give up on me because of my ignorance, but still opened and led me with God’s Word, strengthened my faith, and gave me support. After experiencing cancer, I felt God’s selfless love and favor for me, and I truly experienced that only God is my dependence, and only God can control everything I have. This experience is etched in my heart, and I sincerely give thanks and praise to God!

Now that I have recovered my health and can live a normal life, work normally, and do my part as much as I can in the church, I feel that every day is full and happy! I am glad that I have followed God and thank God for giving me a second life! I have made up my mind that I am willing to hand over my future life to God, submit to God’s arrangement, continue to experience God’s work, and testify to repay God’s love.

Testimony…

 Listen for 6 min  

I’ve been believing in God for a few years, and I don’t know much about God because I don’t pursue the truth. When things come to them, they can do whatever they want, rarely rely on God, look up to God, have no status of God in their hearts, and even misunderstand and complain about God when they come to some hardships and trials. However, seeing God’s love and salvation for me, truly experiencing the power of God’s Word, and understanding God’s good intentions to save me, I have the confidence to believe in God’s path of truth.

Diagnosed with “menopause”, unacceptable

After giving birth, I didn’t recuperate, I fell into confinement disease, I got severe arthritis, the pain was unbearable, and I couldn’t cure it by seeking medical advice everywhere. One day in June 2012, I heard from a relative that there was an herb that could cure arthritis, so I immediately took that herb, but after 3 months, I didn’t have my period, I went to the hospital for a check-up, and the doctor said that I was not pregnant. I went to the pharmacy and bought menstrual medicine, but it didn’t work for more than a month. Then I went to the Chinese medicine hospital to prescribe Chinese medicine for more than a month, but it still didn’t work. The condition gradually worsened, my memory began to decline, I lost everything I wanted, I felt very swollen all over my body, sometimes my neck was swollen as if it was about to explode, I had no strength at all, I was not comfortable standing or sitting, so I had to sleep in bed and have no appetite for eating. At that time, I was in a bad mood every day, very irritable and depressed, my skin slowly became gray, and my face was wrinkled. Once, my relatives were surprised when they met me: “I haven’t seen you for a few days, why are you so old all of a sudden, and you look like you are forty or fifty years old?”

In the first month of 2013, I went to the Women’s and Children’s Hospital for a check-up, and the doctor diagnosed me with “menopause”. The doctor asked me, “What medicine have you taken?” I told him the truth, and the doctor said, “I have seen more than a dozen patients like you, all of whom have been sick by eating this herb, and some of them are younger than you, but I have prescribed her medicine for 6 months and has not been cured, this disease is not easy to cure!” When I heard the news, I was so frightened that my hands and feet became weak, and I walked in a trance, and I felt like the sky was about to fall, and my mind was blank. I’m only in my 30s, how can I get this disease? Can I be cured?

When I got home, I locked myself in my room, didn’t bother to talk to my family, couldn’t eat, and lay in bed all day with tears on my face, really unwilling to accept this reality. I kept thinking in my heart: Could it be that the equipment in that hospital was broken down and the examination was not accurate? I went to the People’s Hospital again to see a specialist, but the results of the examination were still the same, and I was completely desperate.

Helpless, I found support in God’s Word.

From then on, I lived in agony every day, and I washed my face with tears all day long, thinking: Why am I so unlucky? How could such a thing happen to me? Now that I am getting older than my mother-in-law, how can I go out to meet people in the future? I want to die. Then I suddenly thought of God, yes, why don’t I rely on God? Thinking of this, I felt as if I had grasped a life-saving straw, and I immediately came to God and prayed, “God! I am so miserable, I have only reached menopause in my 30s, how should I face life in the future?” O God, please save me. ”

Then I saw God’s Word: “Almighty God is the Almighty Doctor! To live in sickness is to be sick, to live in spirit is not to be sick, and as long as you have a breath, God will not let you die.” God’s Word is so sweet! Myths are the cure! Humiliate the devil and Satan! Touch the myth to rely on, God’s Word will save the heart quickly! There is no peace in all things. “When a person is sick or not, God’s will is in it, and when a person is sick, he does not understand God’s will, and he does not know how to carry it out, and he thinks that it is caused by his ignorance, but does he not know that God’s goodwill is in it? “God’s Word, with its authoritative power, has given me some faith and a lot of confidence in my heart. Reflecting on my performance during this time, although “menopause” is not a terminal disease, I have been tormented by it to the point that life is worse than death, my heart is negative and hopeless, and I even misunderstand and blame God, thinking that it is bad luck to have this disease. I always think that I got menopause because I took the wrong medicine, and I live in self-blame every day, but I don’t come to God to seek to touch God’s heart, resulting in depression every day, isn’t this foolish?

Then I saw a passage from God’s Words: “The myth of eating and drinking has worked, the spiritual life can be normal, no matter what the trials you encounter, or what circumstances come you, or when you are physically sick, or when your brothers and sisters are alienated from you, or when your family is in trouble, you can eat and drink normally, pray normally, and live the church life normally if you reach this point, it means that you are on the right track.” This passage gave me a way to practice, and I understood that no matter what happens, I should seek to understand God’s mind and maintain a normal relationship with God. Even if you are sick, you should not be subject to it, you should focus on living before God, do your duty, read God’s word when you should read God’s word, pray when you should pray, meet when you should meet, and I have to submit to God’s arrangement.

After understanding God’s heart, I felt strong in my heart, and I began to practice and enter, as long as there is something in the church that I need help to do, I will try to do what I can, and whenever I have time, I will read God’s Word and seek and pray to God for everything. Before I knew it, the feeling of exhaustion eased a lot, and I felt more energetic, and I thought to myself: it seems that my illness has been saved. Therefore, I am more active in doing my part.

God’s Word reveals that I am deeply remorseful in my dealings.

More than 20 days passed, and one day, I suddenly felt soreness and weakness all over my body, I was slumped in bed, and I unconsciously felt a little negative in my heart, thinking: During this time, I have actively my duty, and I have never shirked anything in the church, and I have felt better and better, and there is hope for seeing a better doctor, but why is it not working today? Do I have to find a big hospital to see, if there will always be a place that can cure my disease? But after thinking about it, the expert doctors in both hospitals said that this disease cannot be cured, and I have never heard of a famous doctor who can cure “menopause”. At this time, I completely lost faith in God, living in sickness, and the more I thought about it, the more desperate I became, especially when I looked at the withered grass outside the window that was swaying from side to side by the wind, and then looked at my old face, and suddenly felt so desolate and miserable. Helpless, I knelt on the bed and prayed to God: “God, when will my illness get better, I can’t go out and do my duty, God! ”

After praying, I saw God’s Word: “I have found that no matter what comes to me or what I treat, I always protect my interests, I care about my flesh, I always look for reasons and excuses for myself, and I have no truth at all, but I defend my flesh, plan for my future, ask God for grace, and think of any good.” Why do we demand too much from God? This proves that human nature is greedy, that there is no reason at all in front of God, and that everything man does, whether it is prayer, fellowship, or preaching, in short, what man seeks, what he wants, what he desires, what he desires, what he asks for from God, what he asks for from God, what he hopes to receive from God. If you believe in Him, if you believe in Him, if you believe in Him, then you will not dare to make demands on Him, and you will not be qualified to make demands on Him, whether it is unreasonable or reasonable.

If you have true faith, believing that He is God, you have no choice but to worship, only obedience. “God’s Word was like a sharp sword, which completely exposed the meanness in my heart. Looking back on the past 20 days, I have been actively engaged in church work, and I think I have been faithful and confident in God, and it is all because God can heal my illness as soon as possible and free me from the torment of illness. But when I saw that my illness was not getting better, I became discouraged and despaired, and even complained about misunderstandings and blamed God, and I was tired of doing my duty, because I did my duty to receive grace and be healed by God, and I was not willing to do my duty.

Isn’t my purpose just to make a deal with God? We are all created by God, and a breath of breath is also given by God, so how can I, a corrupt person, be qualified to ask God for terms and demands, isn’t this too irrational? The more I think about it, the more I feel that I believe in God and do not treat God as God, and I have no face to come to God. At this time, I realized that my previous views of believing in God were wrong, so I made up my mind in front of God: I am willing to turn back to God, I don’t want to ask God according to my will, no matter whether my illness will be cured in the end, I am willing to submit to God’s arrangement, and do my part as a creature to repay God’s love!

Submit to God’s mercy and miraculously appear, deeply loved by God.

Thank God for letting me understand God’s heart, and since then I have put this disease in God’s hands, often meeting with my brothers and sisters, and living the church life, my mood has improved, and my face has a smile, and it is no longer the worried face of the past. Sometimes I still worry about my illness, but I can immediately realize that this is Satan’s desire to make me blame God and resist God through my illness, I should not fall for Satan, I should risk my life to satisfy God. So, I kept my heart quiet in front of God, read God’s words to find out God’s heart, and prayed silently from my heart: “God, whether my illness is good or not is in your hands if you let my illness be cured, I will be cured, if this illness is not good for my life, I have no complaints, I am willing to obey, pursue the truth, change my satanic nature, and do my duty to satisfy you!” In this way, I sought again and again through prayer and defeated Satan’s thoughts through God’s Word. One day not long after, I unexpectedly found out that I had a period, and at this moment I cried with emotion and thanked God from the bottom of my heart. Seeing God’s all-powerful sovereignty and the authority and power of God’s Word, God said: “Almighty God is an all-powerful doctor! To live in illness is to be sick, and to live in the spirit is not to be sick”, “Myth is the cure! Humiliate the devil and Satan! Touch the myth to rely on, God’s Word is quick to save the heart! There is no peace in all things.” These words are too practical. Doctors say that menopause cannot be cured, but I just put into practice God’s Word, reversed my view of making a deal with God, and experienced God’s work with a heart of obedience to God, and then I was healed by God, from the doctor’s diagnosis of menopause to the recovery of the disease, in just over 20 days, I saw God’s wonderful deeds, God is so wise and so omnipotent! Although God’s environment does not fit my concept, it is the best. If I hadn’t taken the wrong medicine, I wouldn’t have come to God to pray to God and touch God’s heart, and I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to experience God’s work and experience the truth and reality of God’s Word!

In the following days, my face slowly became rosy, my memory was restored, my eyes were gone, and what was even more amazing was that the arthritis that I couldn’t see well everywhere was cured. Once on the street, a friend I hadn’t seen in a long time said, “Why are you younger than before, you look four or five years younger than before.” Once I met an acquaintance again, and he said, “Why are you so pale and so beautiful now?” I know very well in my heart that this is God’s care and protection and wonderful work.

Thank God! I have never experienced such a trial before, I believe that God is not at all, I do not pursue the truth, I have no faith in God, I just follow the crowd. But from this experience, I have come to know my own despicable heart of believing in God, and I have also seen God’s wonderful deeds so that I no longer follow the crowd of believing in God, I have also truly realized that believing in God should obey God and fear God! All glory be to God, amen!

恩典见证 21.突…

音频 6 分钟

我信神有几年了,因着不追求真理,对神也没有什么认识。临到事的时候自己想怎么做就怎么做了,很少依靠神、仰望神,心中并没有神的地位,甚至临到一些苦难试炼,还能误解、埋怨神。然而借着一件意外的事临到,看到神对我的爱与拯救,真实体会神话语的权柄能力,明白神拯救我的一片良苦用心,使我有信心走信神追求真理的道路。

确诊“更年期”,无法接受   

我因生完孩子,没调养好身体,落下了月子病,得了严重的关节炎,疼痛难忍,到处求医问药都治不好。2012年6月的一天,听亲戚说有种草药能治关节炎,我就马上吃那种草药,结果3个月后,我就没来例假了,去医院检查,医生说没怀孕。我到药店买了调经的药,吃了一个多月也不管用。接着又到中医院开了一个多月的中药吃,还是不见效。而且病情逐渐加重,我的记忆力开始下降,成天丢三落四的,感觉全身胀得很,有时脖子胀得像要爆炸开似的,一点力气也没有,站也不舒服,坐也不舒服,只好睡在床上,吃饭也没胃口。那时每天我的心情都不好,特别烦燥、压抑,皮肤也慢慢变得灰灰的,脸也皱皱巴巴的。一次,我亲戚碰到我大吃一惊:“这才几天没见你,怎么一下子老那么多,看你像四五十岁似的?”听亲戚这么说,我心里更难受,只是在心里安慰自己,可能是我身体有病导致的,等病好了,就会恢复的。

2013年正月,我到妇幼医院检查,医生确诊我得了“更年期”病。医生问我:“你吃过什么药?”我如实告诉了他,医生说:“我看过十几个病人跟你一样,都是吃这种草药得的病,有的病人比你还年轻,可是我给她开了6个月的药都没治好,这病可不好治啊!”听到这个消息,吓得我手脚发软,走路都恍恍惚惚,感到就像天要塌下来一样,脑子一片空白。我才30多岁呀!怎么会得了这种病呢?还能不能治好啊?

回到家,我把自己锁在房间里,没心思与家人说话,也吃不下饭了,整天躺在床上以泪洗面,实在不愿接受这个现实。心里不停地想:会不会是那家医院的机器坏了,检查的不准呢?我抱着侥幸的心理,又去了人民医院找专家看,可是检查结果仍是一样的,我彻底绝望了。

无助的我从神话语中找到了依靠。

从此我每天活在痛苦中,终日以泪洗面,心想:我怎么这么倒霉?这样的事怎么会发生在我身上呢?现在我比婆婆老得都快,以后还怎么出门见人啊?真想一死了之。这时我突然想到了神,对啊!怎么不去依靠神呢?想到这,我仿佛抓到一棵救命稻草,我马上来到神面前祷告:“神啊!我好痛苦,才30来岁就到了更年期,以后该怎么面对生活。神啊!求你救救我。”

之后,我看到神的话:“全能神是全能的医生!活在病里就是病,活在灵里就没病,只要你有一口气,神都不会让你死。神的话语真甘甜!神话就是特效药!羞辱魔鬼和撒但!摸着神话有依靠,神的话语速效救心!万事皆无一切平安。”“人有病或无病都有神的心意在其中,人得病时不明白神心意,就不知怎么实行了,还以为是自己愚昧造成的,岂不知有神的美意在其中?凡有大的病痛临到你,让你生不如死,这绝不是偶然的事。”神的话带着权柄能力,使我有了些信心,心里踏实了许多。反省自己这段时间的表现,“更年期”虽不是绝症,但我已被它折磨得生不如死,心里消极绝望,甚至还误解埋怨神,认为得这病是倒霉。我总认为是因着自己吃错了药才得了更年期,每天活在自责中,却不来到神面前寻求摸神的心意,导致每天都闷闷不乐,这不是愚昧吗?看到自己信神却心中没神,常常远离神,与神并没有正常的关系,这哪像个信神的人啊!

接着我又看到一段神的话说:“吃喝神话有果效了,灵生活能正常,不管遇到试炼,或临到什么环境,或你肉体有病痛,或弟兄姊妹疏远你,或你家庭有难处时,你都能正常地吃喝、正常地祷告、正常过教会生活,你如果达到这地步,说明你进入正轨了。”这段话给了我实行的路途,我明白了,无论临到什么事,都应该寻求明白神的心意,保持好与神的正常关系。即使得病也不能受它辖制,应该注重活在神面前,尽好自己的本分,该看神的话时就看神的话,该祷告时就得祷告,该聚会时就聚会,我得顺服神的摆布安排。

明白神的心意后,我心里感到有劲了,就开始操练进入,只要教会有什么事需要我帮忙做的,我能做到的就尽量去做,一有空我就看神的话,临到什么事都寻求祷告神。不知不觉中,疲惫的感觉缓解了许多,我有劲了,心里暗想:看来我的病有救了。因此,我尽本分就更积极了。

神话语揭示我交易存心,深感懊悔。

一晃20多天过去了,一天,我突然感到全身酸胀痛、软弱无力,瘫软在床上,不知不觉我心里有些消极,心想:这段时间我积极尽本分,教会有事我从不推辞,本来感觉身体好些了,眼看病好有希望了,今天怎么又不行了呢?以往听说过有些弟兄姊妹得癌症、绝症的,借着祷告依靠神病都好了,我这病怎么回事呢?怎么还不好呢?我是不是还得找个大医院看看呢,总会有能治好我这病的地方吧?但转念一想,两个医院的专家医生都说这病是治不好的,从来也没有听说哪位名医能治好“更年期”的,得了这病,是没治了。此时我对神完全失去信心,活在病痛当中,每天愁眉苦脸,越想越绝望,特别是看着窗外被风吹得左右摇摆着的枯草,又看看自己苍老的脸,顿时觉得好凄凉、好悲惨。无助中,我跪在床上向神祈祷:“神啊,我的病什么时候能好起来呀,我这样也没法出门尽本分了,神啊!我心里很痛苦,求神带领我,拯救我。”

祷告后,我看到神的话说:“我发现,人无论临到什么事、对待什么事总是维护自己的利益,顾虑自己的肉体,总为自己寻找理由、借口,一点真理没有,都是为自己肉体辩护,为自己前途打算,都向神索取恩典,什么好处都想得。为什么对神的要求太多呢?这就证明人的本性是贪婪的,人在神面前根本没有一点理智,人所作的一切,无论是祷告还是交通、讲道,总之,人的追求、人的心思、人所向往的都是在向神要求什么、索取什么,盼望从神得着什么。你对神有要求本身就是没有理智,你真信他,你真信他是神,那你就不敢对他提出要求,也没有资格对他提出要求,无论是无理的还是有理的。

如果你有真实的信,信他就是神,你只有敬拜、只有顺服,别无选择。”神的话如同利剑把我内心深处的卑鄙存心给彻底揭露出来了。回想自己这20天来,外表上我积极地作教会工作,自以为对神有忠心,也有信心了,那完全是为了神能把我的病早日医治好,让我脱离病痛的折磨。可是当看到自己的病没有好时,我就灰心失望,绝望了,甚至还发怨言误解、埋怨神,尽本分也没劲了,原来我尽本分就是为了得恩典,为了得到神的医治,并不是甘心乐意地尽本分。

我的存心目的不就是在与神搞交易吗?我们人都是神造的,有一口气也是神赐给的,我一个败坏的人哪有资格向神讲条件提要求呢,这不太无理智了吗?越想越觉得自己信神没把神当神待,无脸来到神面前。此时才认识到自己以往的信神观点都是错误的,于是我在神面前立下心志:愿向神回转,不愿再按我的意思去要求神,不管我的病最后会不会好,我都愿意顺服神的摆布安排,尽好受造之物的本分还报神的爱!

顺服神的摆布奇迹出现,深感神爱。

感谢神让我明白了神的心意,从此以后我把这病交在神手中,常常与弟兄姊妹一起聚会,过教会生活,渐渐地我的心情好起来了,脸上有了笑容,不再是往日忧心忡忡的面容。有时我还会为自己的病发愁,但能马上意识到这是撒但想借着病痛让我埋怨神、抵挡神,我不该上撒但的当,我该豁出性命来满足神。于是,我就把心安静在神面前,读神的话揣摩神的心意,从心里默祷:“神啊!我的病好不好都在你手里,你让我的病好,我就会好,如果这病不好伴我终生,我也没有怨言,我愿顺服下来,追求真理变化自己的撒但性情,尽好本分满足你!”就这样,我一次次地借着祷告寻求,借着神话语战胜了撒但的意念。不久后的一天,我意外地发现来例假了,这一刻我激动地哭了,从心里一个劲地感谢神。经历中看到神的全能主宰,看到神话语的权柄与能力,神说:“全能神是全能的医生!活在病里就是病,活在灵里就没病”“神话就是特效药!羞辱魔鬼和撒但!摸着神话有依靠,神的话语速效救心!万事皆无一切平安。”这些话太实际了。医生都说治不好的更年期,而我只是实行了神的话语,扭转了我与神搞交易的观点,存着顺服神的心经历神的作工,便得到了神的医治,从医生确诊更年期到病好,在短短的二十多天的时间里,就看到神的奇妙作为,神真是太智慧、太全能了!神摆设的环境虽不合我的观念,但都是最好的。若不是我吃错了药,我也不会来到神面前祷告神、摸神心意,也没有这样的机会去经历神的作工、体会神话语的真实与实际!

在接下来的日子里,我的脸色慢慢地红润起来,记忆力也恢复了,眼睛也不花了,更奇妙的是到处看不好的关节炎也好了。一次在街上,一个好久没见的朋友说:“你怎么比以前年轻了,看起来比以往年轻四五岁。”一次我又碰见个熟人,他说:“你现在脸色怎么这么白了,这么好看了。”其实我心里很清楚,这都是神的看顾保守与奇妙作为。

感谢神!以往没有经历这样的试炼,我信神根本不当事,也不追求真理,对神也没有什么信心,只是随大流地跟着。但是从这次的经历中,我认识了自己信神的卑鄙存心,也看到了神的奇妙作为,使我不再随大流地信神,也使我真实认识到信神应该顺服神、敬畏神!一切荣耀归于神,阿们!