哥林多后书6：14说， “你们和不信的原不相配，不要同负一轭。义和不义有什么相交呢？光明和黑暗有什么相通呢？”尽管这段经文没有特别提到婚姻，但它肯定对婚姻有启示。往下继续说，“基督和彼列有什么相和呢？信主的和不信主的有什么相干呢？因为我们是永生神的殿，就如神曾说：‘我要在他们中间居住，在他们中间来往。我要作他们的神，他们要作我的子民。’又说：‘你们务要从他们中间出来，与他们分别，不要沾不洁净的物，我就收纳你们。’”（哥林多后书6：15-17）。
圣经继续说，“你们不要自欺，滥交是败坏善行”（哥林多前书15：33）。与不信的人有任何亲密的关系会迅速且极易阻碍你在基督里的成长。我们受呼召向失落的人传福音，但不是与他们亲近。与非信徒建立诚挚的友谊并没错 – 但因该就此为止。如果你跟不信的人约会，那你把什么当作首要的，跟他们谈恋爱还是为基督赢得他们的灵魂？如果你与非信徒结婚，两个人怎么培养在灵里的亲密？如果你们对于宇宙中最重要的问题 – 主耶稣基督都达不成共识，又谈何建立有质量的婚姻呢？
The answer to this question depends somewhat on what is meant by “living together.” If it means having sexual relations, it is definitely wrong. Premarital sex is repeatedly condemned in Scripture, along with all other forms of sexual immorality (Acts 15:20; Romans 1:29; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13, 18; 7:2; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7). The Bible promotes complete abstinence outside of (and before) marriage. Sex before marriage is just as wrong as adultery and other forms of sexual immorality, because they all involve having sex with someone you are not married to.
If “living together” means living in the same house, that is perhaps a different issue. Technically, there is nothing wrong with a man and a woman living in the same house—if there is nothing immoral taking place. However, the problem arises in that there is still the appearance of immorality (1 Thessalonians 5:22; Ephesians 5:3), and it could be a tremendous temptation for immorality. The Bible tells us to flee immorality, not expose ourselves to constant temptations to immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18). Then there is the problem of appearances. A couple who is living together is assumed to be sleeping together—that is just the nature of things. Even though living in the same house is not sinful in and of itself, the appearance of sin is there. The Bible tells us to avoid the appearance of evil (1 Thessalonians 5:22; Ephesians 5:3), to flee from immorality, and not to cause anyone to stumble or be offended. As a result, it is not honoring to God for a man and a woman to live together outside of marriage.
这个问题的答案取决于怎么理解“一起生活”。如果它指发生性关系 – 那肯定是有罪的。婚前性行为和其它形式的性不道德的行为在圣经中不断受到谴责（使徒行传15：20；罗马书1：29；哥林多前书5：1；6：13，18；7：2；10：8；哥林多后书12：21；加拉太书5：19；以弗所书5：3；歌罗西书3：5；帖撒罗尼迦前书4：3；犹大书7）。圣经提倡婚姻之外（之前）绝对禁止性行为。婚前性行为跟淫乱及其它形式的性同样是不对的，因为都涉及到跟未婚对象发生性关系。
如果“生活在一起”单指住在同一所房子里，那可能是另一回事。大致讲，一个男人和一个女人住在同一所房子里并没错 – 如果不发生任何不道德的事。然而，问题在于它仍然属于不道德的表象（以弗所书5：3），而且很容易导致出轨行为。圣经告诉我们要远离淫秽，不要把自己暴露在淫乱的诱惑面前（哥林多前书6：18）；这就有了表象的问题。一对生活在一起的恋人会被当作睡在了一起 – 那是很自然的。即使住在同一所房子里本身并没有罪，但却有了罪的表象。圣经告诉我们要避开邪恶的表象（以弗所书5：3），逃离淫乱，不要让任何人失足或受冒犯。因此，恋人在结婚前生活在一起不是荣耀神。
Although the words “courtship” and “dating” are not found in the Bible, we are given some principles that Christians are to go by during the time before marriage. The first is that we must separate from the world’s view on dating because God’s way contradicts the world’s (2 Peter 2:20). While the world’s view may be to date around as much as we want, the important thing is to discover the character of a person before making any commitment to him or her. We should find out if the person has been born again in the Spirit of Christ (John 3:3-8) and if he or she shares the same desire toward Christ-likeness (Philippians 2:5). The ultimate goal of dating or courting is finding a life partner. The Bible tells us that, as Christians, we should not marry an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14-15) because this would weaken our relationship with Christ and compromise our morals and standards.
When one is in a committed relationship, whether dating or courting, it is important to remember to love the Lord above all else (Matthew 10:37). To say or believe that another person is “everything” or the most important thing in one’s life is idolatry, which is sin (Galatians 5:20; Colossians 3:5). Also, we are not to defile our bodies by having premarital sex (1 Corinthians 6:9, 13; 2 Timothy 2:22). Sexual immorality is a sin not only against God but against our own bodies (1 Corinthians 6:18). It is important to love and honor others as we love ourselves (Romans 12:9-10), and this is certainly true for a courtship or dating relationship. Whether dating or courting, following these biblical principles is the best way to have a secure foundation for a marriage. It is one of the most important decisions we will ever make, because when two people marry, they cleave to one another and become one flesh in a relationship which God intended to be permanent and unbreakable (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5).
虽然圣经中找不到“求偶”或“约会”这些词，但有一些关于基督徒在婚前应该遵守的原则。首先我们应该把它和世俗观念的约会分别开来，因为神的方法与世俗的相悖（彼得后书2：20）（社会）告诉我们想有多少约会就有多少约会，尽可能多接触人。然而，在走到这一步之前我们应该了解欲建立关系的对方是什么样的人；应该了解这个人是否在基督的灵里得到重生（约翰福音3：3-8），他们是否以基督的心愿为心愿（腓立比书2：5）为什么在寻找伴侣时这很重要呢？基督徒应该谨慎，不要与不信的人通婚（哥林多后书6：14-15），因为它会削弱你跟基督的关系，放弃道德准则。
当一个人与某人确定了关系，重要的是记住爱主胜过爱任何人（马太福音10：37）口说或相信一个人是你的“一切”和生活的重心属于偶像崇拜，是罪（加拉太书5：20；歌罗西书3：5）同时，不要因婚前性行为玷污你的身体（哥林多前书6：9，13；提摩太后书2：22）,不道德的性行为不仅得罪神，也得罪你的身体（哥林多前书6：18）像爱你自己一样去爱和尊重他人，这很重要（罗马书12：9-10），它实用于求偶期间和婚姻关系中。遵循这些圣经原则是奠定安全的婚姻基石的最好途径。婚姻是人生最重要的决定，一旦两个人结婚，他们合二为一成为一体，那应该是永恒的和不可分的（创世纪2：24；马太福音19：5）,
Far too often we focus on the “recreation” aspect of sex without recognizing that there is another aspect—procreation. Sex within marriage is pleasurable, and God designed it that way. God wants men and women to enjoy sexual activity within the confines of marriage. Song of Solomon and several other Bible passages (such as Proverbs 5:19) clearly describe the pleasure of sex. However, the couple must understand that God’s intent for sex includes producing children. Thus, for a couple to engage in sex before marriage is doubly wrong—they are enjoying pleasures not intended for them, and they are taking a chance of creating a human life outside of the family structure God intended for every child.
While practicality does not determine right from wrong, if the Bible’s message on sex before marriage were obeyed, there would be far fewer sexually transmitted diseases, far fewer abortions, far fewer unwed mothers and unwanted pregnancies, and far fewer children growing up without both parents in their lives. Abstinence is God’s only policy when it comes to sex before marriage. Abstinence saves lives, protects babies, gives sexual relations the proper value, and, most importantly, honors God.
跟其它不道德的性行为一样，圣经多次对婚前性行为做出谴责（使徒行传15：20；罗马书1：29；哥林多前书5：1；6：13，18；7：2；10：8；哥林多后书12：21；加拉太书5：19；以弗所书5：3；歌罗西书3：5；帖撒罗尼加前书4：3；犹大7）,圣经提倡结婚之前禁止性行为。婚前性行为跟奸淫及其它形式的不道德性行为是同样错误的，因为这些都涉及到跟你没有结婚的人有性关系。只有丈夫和妻子间的性关系才是神允许的（希伯来书13：4）,
有很多原因使得婚前性行为变得如此随便。我们看重性行为的“健身”一面却忽视了它的“再造”一面。不可否认性会使人愉快，神是这么设计的；神要男人和女人享受性行为（在婚姻范围内）,但是性的主要目的不是让人愉悦，而是繁衍生息。神禁止婚前性行为不是要剥夺我们的快乐，而是要保护我们，防止意外怀孕，防止孩子出生在没准备好或不想要他们的家庭里。想象一下如果人们听从神关于性方面的劝诫，这个世界会好很多：少一些性病传染，少一些未婚母亲，少一些不必要的怀孕，少一些堕胎，等等。神对婚前性行为是绝对禁止的，它拯救生命，保护婴孩，树立性关系的正确价值观，最重要的是荣耀神。