Nine times out of ten, life is not as expected, and life after believing in the Lord does not mean that it is smooth sailing. But a man of God will never lose peace and hope amid trouble. Just like in a dark tunnel, when the light at the mouth of the tunnel comes in, even if it is a small and faint light, I unconsciously breathe a sigh of relief, and suddenly a sense of security comes up. This light is our God. He is the light in the darkness, the light that brings hope, warmth, and comfort in the darkness. This is my God, the God who lifts me every time I fall into the abyss.
This fall, before he enters his third year of doctoral studies, he will have to complete the rigorous doctoral qualifying examination. There are two stages of the qualifying examination – written and oral, and the oral examination can only be conducted after passing all the subjects of the written examination. If you pass, you can become a doctoral candidate and continue to move towards your dream, and if you fail, everything will return to the original point and go home.
We have been praying about this, and our daughter would add the phrase “Pray that the Lord Jesus will let Daddy pass the exam” when she prays for thanksgiving. I am confident that God will open the way and that my husband will pass the exam again without any problems. It wasn’t until the eve of the exam that I realized that I was under a lot of pressure. For my husband to concentrate on preparing, I had to turn on the “pseudo-single mother” mode again. I asked myself to be a competent wife so that my husband could prepare for the exam without any worries, and I asked myself to be confident that I would not show the slightest hint of “if I have to go back to Taiwan.”
I asked myself to be independent and brave and to give my daughter a full sense of security even amid instability. I thought I believed in my God, I thought I had faith, but I didn’t, I was worried, I was afraid, the fear of failing the exam was going to consume me. This dark thought and emotion binds me and I can’t breathe.
In August of this year, in order to improve my language skills, I searched the website of Second Baptist Church near my home and wanted to sign up for an ESL course offered by the church. After searching for it a few times, I didn’t have any ESL information, but I accidentally found that there was a “Breathe for Mom’s” party class starting in September, holding the “It’s okay if there are no fish and shrimp.”
If you want to speak, you should practice speaking and listening, so I signed up for this group course.
We know that all things work together for good to those who love God, and to those who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28
The date of the first class of “Breathe for Moms” happened to be the week of the written test, and the time of the written test was the date when the teacher was changed and changed. Plucking up the courage to step into the classroom, I was the only foreigner, a bit like a white rabbit who had strayed into the jungle. I chose a table and sat down, looking around, white, white, white, black, Asian, white, my heart beat super fast, I felt so stupid, and it was so self-defeating to want to come to this kind of place to practice English! I wanted to be friendly in tattered English, and when I said I was from Taiwan, the Asian mother said that she was also born in Taiwan and could speak a little Chinese. Later, I observed that she was the only Asian American in the class of seventy or eighty people, spoke Chinese, was born in Taiwan, and was in the same group as me. The theme of the day’s class was “Fearless Mom”, and God made me understand through the limited content that I could understand that I didn’t have to force myself to be a perfect mother or wife in His presence, and He inspired my faith again to rely on Him to be a Fearless Mom. During the group discussion, I don’t know where I got the courage to use my English to tell these strangers who we met for the first time that my husband had a very important exam this week, and if we didn’t pass it, we would have to pack up and go home.
I brought this exam to my worries and fears, the tension and pressure of being a wife and mother, and the helplessness and anxiety caused by the instability of living in the United States in the past few years. At this time, someone brought me tissue paper, someone hugged me, someone comforted me with scriptures, someone prayed for me, and they spoke very quickly, I tried to listen, but it didn’t matter if I understood it or not, my tears kept flowing, and the weight of my heart was released little by little.
Through these strangers, this course message, and these arrangements that are not accidental, God made me understand that He has always been there, never forsaken me, and that His love is so real! There is no fear in God’s love, I told myself that I would no longer shed tears, that my God would fight with me, and that there was nothing to be afraid of! From that moment on, I told myself to trust God to be a fearless mom, to keep watch for my husband and daughter, and to wave the banner of victory!
The thieves have come to steal, to kill, and to destroy, but I have come to give the sheep life and to the abundance. John 10:10
A few days later, the enemy came again and broke my faith. Mr. had a written exam question that was very far from the direction he was preparing for, and yes, he failed the exam. He told me in frustration that the professor knew that this was not his research specialty, so why did he deliberately come up with such a topic to make things difficult for him? He tried his best, and if the professor just wanted to kick him out, he would admit it. At the moment, I am so sad and sad, watching him try his best to fight for this doctor’s dream, this road is very difficult, but I am sure that God is also dripping grease on the journey. But at that moment, I was angry, confused, and even wanted to ask God, “God, where are you? Mr. can’t feel you, so how can he get this salvation?”
No, the enemy laughed at me, as a Christian wife, for not praying fruitfully, so how can I preach the gospel to my husband? My faith was shattered and shattered.
I called home and sadly told my dad that I was disappointed in God. Dad told me, “Praise God for being the God who created the heavens and the earth, the God Almighty, the only true God, and nothing is impossible in His hands. His love is long, wide, high, and deep, He knows that in every dream in our hearts, we must not lose faith in God, if you lose faith in God, how can your husband have faith in God?” Dad’s words immediately woke me up, and I thanked God that although our family was not around, we could support each other through prayer. Through the encouragement and prayers of my father and family, God picked up the shattered fragments of faith in my heart one by one. God continued to speak to me through Sunday messages and group classes, and I began to declare that I was God’s careful creation, no longer bound by any enemy accusations. God put joy and peace in my heart, and I kept humming songs of victory.
A week later, the results of the written test were announced, and the subjects I thought I had failed in the exam were miraculously passed! Although there were still two subjects to be retaken, I could open the book at home. Hallelujah! This result is completely beyond our expectations, and we will experience God’s wonderful leadership again. Our God is true and alive, and His mind is higher than men’s thoughts! He is always there, and He will not forsake what His hand created!
Thou hast crowned thy years with grace, and thy paths have dripped with fat. Psalm 65:11
Thank God, although the qualification process of my husband was thrilling, it had a perfect ending in the great and great grace of God, God had already prepared everything! This year, I learned to be strong in my weakness by Jesus, and I learned to let the power of God cover me. Don’t let the environment obscure the focus, keep your eyes on God, and feel His presence. He has always been there.
在今年八月，为了增进语言能力，我搜寻住家附近的Second Baptist Church网站，想报名教会开设的ESL课程。搜寻了几次，没有任何ESL资讯，却无意发现九月份开始有一个「Breathe for moms」的聚会课程，抱着「没鱼虾也好的心态，想说就当练口语和听力，于是便报名了这个小组课程。
─ 我们晓得万事都互相效力，叫爱神的人得益处，就是按他旨意被召的人。 《罗8:28》
「Breathe for moms」第一次上课的日期恰好是先生考笔试当周，而这笔试的时间其实是先生系上改了再改的日期。鼓起勇气踏进教室，我是唯一的外国人，有点像误入丛林的小白兔。选了一张桌子坐了下来，环顾四周，白人、白人、白人、黑人、亚裔、白人，我心跳超快，觉得自己太蠢，还想来这种地方练英文真是太不自量力了！我用着破烂的英文想表达友好，在我说出I’m from Taiwan时，那位亚裔妈妈开口说她也在台湾出生，还会说一点中文呢。
Christians who follow God do not want to be strong and courageous to testify and serve God, but Christians who feel weak in body and mind can testify to God’s mercy and grace in “not breaking the wounded reed, and not blowing out the broken lamp.”
Corrie Ten Boom, a Dutch missionary, wrote that in a Nazi concentration camp in Germany, she heard the wails of her fellow prisoners who were sick and in fear of death. Although she herself was dying, she walked to them with a heart of love for the Lord and loved others, told them that the Lord Jesus was here, and invited them to open the door of their hearts to accept Him as their Savior.
Penkelly said she experienced that even though her flesh was weak, the Holy Spirit within her spoke through her words of comfort, encouragement, and building when she was willing to speak. And because she proclaimed God’s truth, she became strong even in her weakness. Serving in weakness motivates one another
Recently, God brought two sisters to the church to confide in me, and I happened to be in a state of heartbroken and persecuted for righteousness, sick and weak in my body. I said to them angrily, “I don’t know what to say to you, but I know that the Lord Jesus can comfort us, so let’s worship the Lord and listen to the comfort He gives us, shall we?”
So we used the Moms In Prayer prayer leaflet to pray in four steps: pray to read the Bible to praise God’s character, ask the Holy Spirit to enlighten us to confess our sins and repent, thank God for prayers that are heard or believed, and intercede for one another with the promised verses of the Bible.
As a result, we are all anointed with the Holy Spirit to heal our weak hearts as if we had come to a spiritual feast prepared by God. One of the sisters prayed and finished her long-struggling master’s thesis and received an unexpected award from the school, while the other was more committed to prayer and renewal.
I am encouraged to reach out to the saints who are in pain or need, to support each other in our time of weakness, and to experience the Lord’s love and comfort. When we hear God’s precious promises proclaimed from one another’s mouths, God’s truth rains down from heaven to cleanse our sins, entangle our hearts, nourish our thirsty hearts, and give us the strength and hope to continue facing adversity and challenges.
Listening to the old lies, leading to fear of small letters
But sometimes our weakness can come from listening to the lies of our old self or Satan, and thus losing our first love, or from believing out of fear.
For example, last year I started online to participate in a Bible Study Fellowship in Japan Xi I can speak very little Japanese, but I am very happy to get to know Japanese sisters. Although I was not familiar with the Japanese Bible and did not know much about what the Japanese sisters were sharing online, I found that the Holy Spirit still illuminated me with Bible truths that enabled me to receive spiritual meanings beyond what my mind could comprehend.
However, some time ago, I didn’t participate three times because I was unwell, and I began to worry a lot about my poor Japanese, and I felt that it didn’t matter if I was in the group or not, and I seemed to have completely forgotten the joy I had at the beginning of the class. However, I knew that the group leader had been praying for my health, so I prayed to God after I recovered and that the Lord would restore my original joy and courage to participate.
Studying the Lamentations of Jeremiah on the day of the meeting, I sensed for the first time that the prophet Jeremiah seemed to treat God as a close friend so that he could pour out all the pain in his heart to the Lord. So now that I am moved and convinced that God is always listening to me, I will briefly share this feeling with you.
Before class, when the group leader prayed for the sisters, she thanked God for allowing me to participate in the group and encouraging them. I think God encouraged me to use what I saw as inadequate, and that He could manifest His wisdom and power through my tiny instrument if I had the heart to do it. God wants to use tiny vessels to manifest power
When you are sad, why not open your mouth and cry out to the Lord as a close friend, trusting that the loving and gentle Lord is watching you and listening to your lovely voice?
The comfort of the Holy Spirit will flow out of your mouth and into the ears of your heart, and you will hear yourself begin to praise the victorious name of the Lord Jesus.
This is the name of your work of destroying the devil and saving you from darkness, and all knees shall bow down and worship, which has been given to you through your faith, so that all the accusations of the dark forces have been dissipated, and your heart will be at peace and security by the intercession of the Holy Spirit, and you may wait silently for Him to open the way for your battle.
Pray: Father God, I praise You for being my strength, my refuge, and my help in times of trouble. Thank you for interceding for me through the Holy Spirit in my weakness and for strengthening me Yourself, so that I can experience “when I am weak, I am strengthened by the Lord” [cf. 2 Corinthians 12:10]. I thank You for the work in me that I have a desire in my heart, and You have given me the power to act and do the commandments and good works that are pleasing to You [cf. Philippians 2:13].
Give me your eyes, that I may see me as you see me, because the blood of Jesus has cleared my conscience, because of the truth of Jesus to align my heart and mind with you, and by the power of the Holy Spirit, I am all bright like you.
Give me the strength to focus on Your promises of light, so that I can turn away from darkness or failure. The powers of darkness cannot cover You, and because I confess that the Lord Jesus is Lord, You see my darkness as light and make my night shine like day [cf. Psalm 139:12]. In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.
Ever since I was a child, I had a dream of flying an airplane and becoming a pilot. I’m now working as a co-pilot on M Airlines, but my path wasn’t so smooth. When I was in the third grade of primary school, the teacher asked us to write an essay about what I wanted to be when I grew up, I wrote that I wanted to be a pilot, so the teacher tore up my essay and mocked me, saying, “Your grades are so poor and short-sighted, it’s good that I didn’t send you to the enlightenment class.”
At that time, I thought I couldn’t fly. It wasn’t until 2006, when I was in my second year of college, that I saw an advertisement on the bulletin board for EVA Air to recruit pilots, and I could see that Dou Da wrote “Vision correction 1.0 is sufficient.”
and then ignited my desire to fly. After graduating from college, I went to Seattle on April 12, 2011, to learn to fly.
On June 13, 2012, I graduated from flight school, returned to Taiwan, and began to prepare for the Civil Aviation Administration’s license renewal exam, as well as the resume application of various airlines, everyone thought of all Taiwanese airlines, I have all tested, until April 10, 2015 I finally admitted to an airline called V Airlines, I took the exam for nearly three years before I was admitted to the airline, in the middle of the three years many people persuaded me to give up, to do other work, saying that I am not suitable. When I got in, I thought my life was full of hope and prospects, but my training was not so smooth, and the pressure of flying was very high, after all, the lives of one or two hundred people were in your hands.
When I was training, I would be yelled at or sour when I made a mistake or couldn’t answer a question. At that time, the number of training instructors in the company was not enough, and there was no way to give me too much training, so I had few opportunities to fly in V Airlines. Before I left the company, I had quite a few flight hours, and the company disbanded on October 1, 2016, two months before that, the company started laying off employees, and they made it so difficult that you couldn’t pass through the simulator assessment. Before I was examined, I was so stressed that I couldn’t eat or sleep properly for a week or two. On the day of the assessment on August 2 of the same year, I was sent to the hospital because I was unwell, and when I was in the hospital, I knew that I must be one of the layoffs. It was the darkest and most painful day of my life, and the next day there was a training review meeting in the company, we called it TRB, and I had to face five supervisors, and that meeting fired me in less than five minutes.
After I left V Airlines, I thought my life was over, but God still favored me. Since I have an American identity and can work in the United States, I didn’t want to be too far away from Taiwan, so I tried to find a flight job in Guam, and I really found it, although the job was to fly a small four-seater plane, take guests to Guam to do air guides, and the salary was very low, but I needed to accumulate flight hours, so I went. I worked for that company for two years, and when I had accumulated the number of hours I needed, I found a job at M Airlines, which is the company I am currently working for.
At the beginning, I received two months of training in Phoenix, and my training was quite smooth, thanks to the fact that I had worked at V Airlines, I had previous experience, and I had worked in the very high-pressure environment of Taiwan Airlines, so I came to M Airlines, and many things were relatively easy for me even if they were stressful.
God is very humorous, on August 24 this year, I took the simulator test for the Air Transport Pilot License (ATPL), and I encountered an unexpected situation, that is, halfway through the test, the simulator malfunctioned, causing my exam to be interrupted, and the next day I finished the rest of the test, so I successfully got the license. At this time, I heard a voice in my heart tell me, “Three years ago, you also had an unexpected situation and interrupted the exam, but at that time, it was because you were unwell and was sent to the hospital, and this time the simulator itself was disabled, and I know the pain in your heart. 」
After I got my license, I came to Houston from Phoenix to start my actual passenger training, which can be called “Airway Training.”
I need to collect 31 signatures before I can complete the training. My training instructor is a captain in the company who is recognized as frightening to everyone, I call him SE, there is a co-pilot who sees that he wants to fly with him, he will ask for sick leave or transfer shifts, I flew with him two trips, more than 40 hours, he is strict and picky, but also let me learn a lot of things I am not afraid of him because I have been in the more high-pressure environment in Taiwan, I have met a more fierce captain, so he is relatively mild. But also because of his strict relationship, I have been given extra training.
At that time, my radio communication ability was not up to the instructor’s standard, and the instructor felt that the instructor was not very relieved, so I was given additional training for more than 70 hours. If the company stipulates that if it exceeds 70 hours, it will be necessary to go through the “training review meeting”.
When I heard the three English letters of TRB, I was super scared, those three words were about to be fired in Taiwan, I was very nervous to go to the company’s TRB, but this time it was completely different from what I was three years ago.
There were also five supervisors in that meeting, but they said that my performance improved every time, Captain SE also mentioned in the report that I have been improving, and I have been holding my signature, which can be trained, but it takes a little time. After a 30-minute meeting, they decided to give me another trip, and at the end of the meeting, I was told by a voice in my heart, ” Three years ago, you went to TRB, and your former company denied your performance and fired you, I know this is the most painful part of your heart, so I let you go through TRB again, but this time to affirm your performance, I let you be added to extra training for more than 70 hours, so that you can strengthen your hand more before being released, you have to believe me, I let you come to the United States, not let you come here to be unemployed.
Sure enough, the captain of my last trip was replaced by a more patient and good-tempered captain, I called him JC, and JC fixed my landing problems so that I could grasp the feel, my final training went very smoothly, and I got all the autographs.
On October 24th of this year, I finally completed all my training and became the official co-pilot, Hallelujah! Thank you, Lord, it took me 2,689 days, more than seven years, to get to this position since June 13, 2012. I would like to thank my family and friends for encouraging me and supporting me to this day. I would like to thank God for honing my temper and personality through these trainings and also teaching me the lesson of trusting Him in everything, and strengthening my faith in God after these seven years of baptism. I know that there are many challenges ahead of me, but I believe that God is the God of Immanuel and that He will be with me.
In this season of thanksgiving, I want to give God the greatest thanksgiving. This year is a very special year for me, I have finally fulfilled my dream of becoming an official pilot, and I will work harder in the future, pray that God will keep me safe every time I fly and that my life can have a positive impact on the glory of God and others. Finally, I give all thanks and glory to the Lord Jesus Christ who loves me!
不知道自己从哪里来也不知道往哪里去，不知道生命的尊贵、荣耀、价值，不知道人的规范，不知道人的位份、本分、责任；好歹不分，是非不辨，认不清自己，心中一片混沌，随心所欲任意而为，不思想自己的结局，轻视自己的生命，象“没有灵性的畜类”。虽然如此尚且不知道自己有罪，其实是很糊涂的过完一生。他们不认识尊贵中而不醒悟，就如死亡的畜类一样。