灵糧

恩典见证 28.伏…

音频 4 分钟

伏明霞是中国前著名跳水运动员,梁锦松是成功的香港商界大腕,后曾弃商从政出任财政司司长,2009年11月受洗。两人纷纷见证信主之后,生活的改变。

据远方的心月博客分享,中国跳水运动员伏明霞及丈夫梁锦松前任香港财政司长信仰见证。伏明霞是中国前著名跳水运动员,被称为跳水女皇,曾是三届奥运金牌得主。梁锦松是成功的香港商界大腕,后曾弃商从政出任财政司司长。他们于2002年结婚,2009年11月受洗。

伏明霞与梁锦松伏明霞:中国著名跳水运动员、三届奥运金牌得主伏明霞幸福一家伏明霞分享说,有一位年长一点的朋友对信主觉得有点惊讶,因为在他眼中我事业与家庭都颇顺利,为什么会信主呢?而且,我以前在国内时也拜过佛,受过密宗活佛灌顶。

一切都是上帝的安排。06年底07年初伏明霞与娘家因一些事情闹意见,与丈夫都非常不能理解,作为女儿心里很难受。这时,伏明霞与女儿的一位同学的家长谈起,她是虔诚基督徒,开始一起祷告,祷告后心里完全平和了,之前的郁闷和对家人的不快感觉,完全一扫而光。

与此同时,身边的基督徒朋友也忽然很积极邀请伏明霞参加查经班,参加后除了学习基督的教导外,也学了不少做人的道理。丈夫梁锦松说,当时恰好是他为伏明霞祷告。自此,二年多来,伏明霞和丈夫经常参加主日祟拜,及每周的查经班。

伏明霞说,信主前,她的事业及家庭发展比较较顺,顾虑不多。但有了孩子后,挂虑的事情多了。特别是看见大规模灾难,感觉人实在渺小,亦担心家的现在和未来。

信主后,最大的不同是心里觉得平安。知道心里的问题有上帝会安排,感觉是轻松多了。信主后,每天祷告成为我不可或缺的习惯,每天感恩,亦把问题向主倾诉。另外,亦清楚及肯定有永生,有了永恒的盼望,对现在面临的问题不再看得太重。

梁锦松和很多香港出生、受教育的人一样,读了十年以上的教会学校,每天唱圣诗、念主祷文,但之前对主没有很大的感觉。中学毕业后,学业及事业都较顺利。所谓少年得志,心里没有空间去接纳主。

他分享说,“2003年离开z /-府后有较多时间,以前同学教导我多认识主,并辅导我读毕《标竿人生》一书。但我对人生一切及上帝命定(Pre-destination) 不理解,便没有继续寻找神。”

2006年他到港福堂参加祟拜。他说:“当时回想到我04年初向主耶稣祷告,后来知道他答应了我的祈求,而我却一直追寻我曾与主交换、并承诺我放弃的事。2007年初我决志信主,之后并经常向朋友介绍我信主的经历和好处。”

梁锦松见证,信主后明显的感到肩上的担子轻了。认识主后,知道事事都有他带领。通俗一点说,是有“大佬可跟”,心情上是轻松多了。况且,知道信主可得永生,现世的事相对不是这么重要了。

最后梁锦松说,“主耶稣教我们要行公义、好怜悯、存谦卑的心、与神同行。我仍然在不断学习,特别是学习谦卑。我希望以后能紧跟主的命令,荣神、益人、尽己。”

Testimony…

 Listen for 8 min   

If you ask your friends whether they believe in God or not, you will be amazed to find that the reasons for the unbelievers are all similar (rationalism, materialism, etc.), while the reasons for the believers are different. Every Christian’s experience of becoming a Christian is different, and the process may seem bizarre, illogical, and flippant to non-Christian friends. But for a person who has experienced it firsthand, it is so real and believable.

Like all Chinese who were “born in New China and grew up under the red flag”, I received an atheistic education since I was a child, believed in Marxism-Leninism, and was determined to “fight for the cause of × for life”. When “the spring breeze of reform and opening up blew all over the motherland”, I was still a carefree college student. Curious and excited, I began to come into contact with a variety of “worldviews” and philosophies of life. As a result, in a short period of time, the concepts of education that had been instilled for more than ten years were abandoned by me.

Although I don’t know about it, I believe that I have embraced Western ideas such as “existentialism” and “pragmatism”. One of my favorite sayings at the time was, “Everything that exists is reasonable.” I no longer believe that there is anything absolute in the world, I believe that everything is relative: truth, right and wrong, and morality. It has become my goal to have fun and enjoy life while I am young.

All I think about all day long is how to make money and how to enjoy it. But when the coveted material life came true one by one, I found that these things were not attractive. My heart was even more empty, it was a deep emptiness in my soul. I look up to the sky: why do I exist here and now in the vast universe? If everything is accidental, and existence is absurd in the first place, then is it really like some philosophers say that suicide is the only way out?

At that time, Sanmao’s death caused confusion and confusion among my peers: how could a writer with such a successful career and so much experience think of ending his young and beautiful life? For a person who is extremely lonely in his heart, if life has no meaning in the first place, it is not a pity to end it, but on the contrary, it may be a relief.

I also thought about suicide when I was in pain, but I was reluctant to do so, and I always thought that life should be meaningful. So I became interested in religion, I read Buddhism, Taoism, and the Bible, and went to church. But none of this really freed me. I’m really like duckweed on the surface of the water, I don’t know where to float. The future has also lost its appeal to me, and my heart is restless all the time.

I came to the United States when I was desperately hopeless, empty and confused on the road of life. That’s because soon after I got married, my husband went to the United States to study, and half a year later, I also gave up my job in China to visit relatives in the United States to reunite with my husband. I never had much hope for the United States. In my impression, the United States is a desert of “spiritual civilization”, although its “material civilization” is leading in the world. The United States, as I know it through the eyes of an American modernist novelist, is a country where everyone is constantly on the run and desperately striving for fame and fortune (or the so-called “realization of self-worth”). And after having fame and fortune, they either go to the absurd or embrace nothingness. So I believe my answer is not in the United States.

However, the United States is a strange world after all, and since my husband has chosen to Xi study there, I am willing to “go out” to see it. To my great surprise, however, my husband had only been there for a few months when he told me in our “Wild Goose Story” that he had “believed” and become a Christian. This news surprised me, because I always felt that my husband was a thoughtful person who would not easily be superstitious and blindly believed.

This news also made me a little sad: How did my husband, a “man who understands,” suddenly become a slave of religion? I think he must have chosen religion because he was too lonely, too much in need of love, and empty in heart. I was heartbroken for him. At the same time, I also made up my mind that I must give my husband more love and care and drag him back from the church. At that time, I mailed my husband dozens of kilograms of Chinese books, which I believed belonged to “the essence of human civilization for thousands of years”. I hope that with this “spiritual food”, Mr. will no longer need religion as a “spiritual opium”. I am also prepared that when I arrive in the United States, I must use tender love to “save” my husband from the religion I don’t want to believe.

After I came to the United States, my husband seemed to be more and more convinced, and there was no sign of me being “redeemed”. It was I who came into contact with Christians and the Christian faith because my husband attended Bible study every week. My husband studied in Tower City, a small college town in Alabama. There’s a small Chinese Bible study class there: the Tacheng Chinese Christian Fellowship. As soon as I entered this Bible study class, I was immediately attracted by the warm and friendly atmosphere, and at the same time, I was surprised that most of the members of the Bible study class were international students and professors at the university where my husband studied. They were all energetic, confident, and capable, not illiterate or weak women, as I had imagined. Curious about the Christian faith, coupled with being drawn to Christian love, I went to Bible study almost every week, and because I wasn’t in school at the time, I had time to read a little bit of the Bible.

10,000 reasons, but I don’t think I need to be Christian. What are the benefits of being a Christian? Peace of mind? I feel that I have always been a person who is content and happy with what comes his way. To understand the sinful nature of human beings, I have long confessed that “no one is a saint or a sage.” “I confess that although I don’t kill people or set fires, I’m inherently sinful. But since everyone is like this, I’m not ashamed of it, and I don’t want to change. And I’m better than some Christians in many ways? I have self-discipline and I don’t need religion to do good.

As for heaven and hell, I think that’s a myth at all, and I don’t care about anything so far away and unfathomable. What’s more, if there is only absolute beauty in heaven, then what is the value of beauty? Beauty must be opposed to ugliness to show its beauty. Isn’t it too boring for believers in heaven to be with God every day, and all they do is sing songs and praises? More importantly, if I want to believe in one religion, why do I have to believe in Christianity? There are so many religions in the world that all say they are true, how can I know which one is true? In short, I have a thousand reasons not to believe, but none of them have one reason to believe.

Almost everyone from the mainland has had a similar experience: we used to believe some “beautiful” lies very, very innocently. When the old faith is smashed, it is very difficult to re-establish the faith, because it is very difficult to believe what the deceived people believe, not to mention the superficial similarities between the old and the new faith.

I remember when I first came to the United States, I attended a gospel camp and one of the speakers asked, “Have you ever seen a counterfeit seven-dollar bill?” and everyone replied in unison, “No.” Then the speaker asked, “Why not?” and no one knew how to answer. The speaker said, “Because there is no truth, there is no false.” This made me ponder: Is the existence of so many false gods in the world a proof of the existence of a true God? Moreover, everything that is “fake and shoddy” always tries to imitate the real thing in appearance. It is often said that the most brilliant liar is one percent lie mixed with ninety-nine percent truth. Because there is a fake, even if people encounter the real one, they will doubt it and can’t believe it, is it because I have encountered the fake one, and I can’t even believe the truth?

I have also seen such a “bet theory” (it is said that the original words were said by the great French thinker Pascal): If there is a God, you will make a lot of money if you become a Christian, but if you are not a Christian, you will be miserable; if there is no God, you will have peace and joy as a Christian all your life, and there is no harm in it, so you will only make money and not lose money by betting on “faith…… But I can’t bet on my faith. I still don’t want to be blindly trusted.

I read a lot of books and wanted to seek the truth. I have read “Ironclad Evidence”, which is of great help to many people, and I no longer doubt the authenticity of the Bible; I have read “Scientific Creationism” and no longer have superstitious beliefs about the “theory of evolution”; I have read “The World’s Major Religions”, “The Comparison between Christianity and Islam”, “The Book of Mormon”, etc., and have gained more knowledge and understanding of other non-Christian religious beliefs. I also read some expository books while reading the Bible, which was also very helpful in answering some of the questions in the Bible that have been bothering me.

Many of the obstacles to reason have been removed, but I still don’t want to become a Christian. Emotionally, many Christians around me have set a good example for me, and I want to be able to love each other with them and love others as they do. But why am I still reluctant to become a Christian? Looking back now, behind many excuses, it was my hard-hearted refusal to accept God. Because deep down I knew very well that being a Christian meant that I no longer belonged to this world and that I had to say goodbye to my past. And I still have too much nostalgia for the world and my past, and there are too many things that are difficult to let go of.

Another “reason” was that I was preparing for the GRE test at the time, and I wanted to take the test on my ability, to prove that I was relying on strength rather than relying on God’s protection, and to achieve my dream of going to school. It has been said that faith has several aspects: feelings, reason, and will. Indeed, even when I was emotionally and intellectually attached to the Christian faith, I still “chose” not to believe in God—a decision made by the will.

Someone said to me that your husband believed in the Lord before you, and it should be logical for you to be influenced by him and become a Christian again. My husband knows this best: I am a person with a particularly heavy “rebellious mentality” and likes to raise the bar with others. If you say that Christianity is bad, I may “defend” Christians, and if you say that it is good to be a Christian, I will try to find a reason to oppose it. So I went to Bible study for more than a year, and every time I was willing to argue with others, I became a “senior catechumen” who was an old “seeker” and did not believe in the Lord. My husband is an anxious person, but when it comes to my faith, he knows that I can’t be in a hurry, so he is quite calm and never pushes me.

That Christmas I went with my husband to Atlanta to attend a Christian meeting. Because I was not yet a Christian, I had to attend “catechumens.” Most of the people in this class had just come to the United States from China and had little understanding of Christianity and the Bible. The questions I asked seemed to me to be “rudimentary” and superficial, questions that had been asked countless times by others and that I had heard Christians answer countless times. I couldn’t resist “helping” the presiding Christian’s answer, which made people wonder why I hadn’t come to faith yet. On the last day of the meeting, a pastor we knew said he was going to lead me in prayer. I was immediately “alert” and knew what a “decision” was. I quickly affirmed that I would not make up my mind, and the pastor laughed and said that we could still pray together. So I prayed to the pastor, “God if you really exist, help me and open my heart so that I may know you and receive you.”

Coming back from that party, I was busy preparing for the GRE again. There was no particular emotion, no miracles, and I forgot to pray to the pastor, just listening to my husband pray for my exams every day before going to bed. My English foundation is not very good, it is really sad to take the GRE, and I often worry about not making progress in Xi for a long time, but my husband’s prayers and encouragement give me a lot of comfort.

One day when we went to Sunday service, after the pastor finished the sermon, everyone sang a song that they had heard many times before: “Just As I Am.” It was a song with great lyrics, and it was very moving. As I listened that day, tears began to fall. I knew my time had come. God has been patient with me again and again, and because of my hard heart, I have given me many opportunities, and now it is time for me to turn back, to return. Then I said, “Forgive me, O God, my stubbornness and my pride, and I will accept you as my Savior, and the Lord of my life, and I will give you my whole life to be in charge of you…… This is the first time I have asked someone else to “take control” of my life, but what is there to be ashamed of when I am prostrated before the Creator of heaven and earth?

The GRE test in February was fast approaching, and as I had done every time I faced an important test, I felt that I was not fully prepared, I was very nervous, and I was afraid that my mind would go blank when I went to the test room. After the exam, I left the examination room, and my husband, who was waiting outside, came over and asked me how I felt. I said that I was a little nervous when I first entered the examination room, so I started praying, and then I didn’t feel nervous at all, and I answered the questions very quickly, and many of the questions seemed to be “déjà vu”, and I couldn’t remember where I saw them. The gentleman didn’t say much. When the results came down, the score was far better than when I usually did the mock test, which can be said to be “super level performance”. My husband and I knew in our hearts that it was God’s gift for my little weak faith that I had first believed. So, having just come to faith and most afraid to speak in front of people, I testified in the church fellowship that “I found favor at the first faith.”

The lonely earth looks back on the road he has traveled in this life, and it can be said that it is very smooth. I grew up in a harmonious family, my parents loved me, and my siblings were close to each other. My studies have been smooth sailing, from primary school to university, I have always been a good student and class cadre in the class, and after graduation, I was assigned to work in a research unit in my hometown with an absolute counterpart, and I was also reused by the leaders and listed as a “key training object”. When I reached the age of marriage, I married a gentleman who loved me and loved me, and had good quality and character. In the eyes of the world, I have everything I should have materially and spiritually, and I should be very satisfied. But why do I still feel empty and irritable, and why do I still feel a lingering sorrow in the bustling streets, after a short period of happiness?

In the past, I thought that this was because the earth was lonely in the vast universe, so people on the earth also had an innate loneliness and despair. Now I realize that I have this feeling of loneliness and hopelessness because I have left God, so I have no peace of mind. As the philosopher said, there is a hole in the human heart, and this hole cannot be filled with anything in the world – money, fame, health, friendship, family affection, love – only God can fill it. I think it’s because we are God’s creation, and in his own image. He puts the “Spirit” in our hearts, so that we will only find true satisfaction and peace when our Spirit is connected and communed with God.

Ever since I came to know God, I have finally found my place in life, and since then my wandering mind has found peace. I know where I’m coming from, where I’m going, and I know the true meaning of life. I began to learn to cherish every day of my life and my marriage even more. When I got married, I didn’t have the luxury of having a happy marriage, because I didn’t believe that there would be any happy marriages in the world, and I didn’t believe in the “fairy tale ending” of “staying together for life” and “growing old”.

After I became a Christian, I came to realize that I was selfish, self-willed, strong, and unloving, and I realized how considerate and caring my husband was for me at every turn. In the past, I used to look forward to a “vigorous” life, but now I have experienced God’s care and the beauty of life in my seemingly ordinary life day after day. Three years ago, God gave us a lovely little baby, and for three years I have been studying, working, and taking care of children, and we have experienced God’s presence in the ups and downs. Not only did we come one step at a time, but our family was very loving. I would say that the greatest blessing of my life has been the knowledge of Jesus Christ. In the future journey of life, I may encounter all kinds of difficulties and trials, but I have no fear of facing tomorrow, because I am convinced that “no matter what the circumstances, I have been led by the Lord”.

恩典见证 27.一…

音频 8 分钟

如果你去问周围的朋友信不信上帝,你会惊奇地发现,不信者的理由都是相似的(理性主义、唯物主义等等),而信者的理由却各不相同。每个基督徒信主的经历都不一样,其过程在非基督徒朋友眼里似乎都有点离奇、不合逻辑、轻率。但对於一个有切身体验的人来说,却是那麽真实可信。

行乐须及春和所有“生在新中国,长在红旗下”的中国人一样,我从小受的是无神论教育,相信马列主义,并且立志“为×事业奋斗终身”。当“改革开放的春风吹遍祖国大地”的时候,我还是个无忧无虑的大学生。带著好奇与兴奋,我开始接触各种各样的“世界观”和人生哲学。结果在短短的时间内,十几年灌输教育的那些观念,便被我抛弃。

虽然并不是真正的了解,但我相信自己接受了“存在主义”、“实用主义”等等西方思想。那时候我最喜欢的一句话是“凡是存在的都是合理的”。我不再相信世界上还有任何绝对的东西,我相信一切都是相对的:真理、是非、道德……趁著年轻及时行乐、享受人生,便成了我的目标。

我一天到晚所思所想就是怎样赚钱,怎样享受。但是当梦寐以求的物质生活一一实现了的时候,我发现这些东西并没有真正的吸引力。我的心更加空虚,那是一种灵魂深处的空虚。我仰望苍天:茫茫宇宙为什麽我要在此时、此地存在?如果一切都是偶然,生存原本就是荒诞的,那麽真的像有的哲学家所说,自杀便是唯一的出路?

当时三毛的死曾引起我的同龄人的迷惑与不解:一个事业有成、经历如此丰富的作家,怎麽会想到要结束自己年轻而美好的生命?可是我认为我理解三毛。对一个内心极端孤独的人来说,如果生命原本没有意义,结束也就谈不上可惜,相反地倒可能是一种解脱。

痛苦的时候我也想到过自杀,但是我心又不甘,总认为生命应该是有意义的。於是我开始对宗教感兴趣,看佛教、道教的东西,也看过圣经,去过教堂。但是这一切并没有真正让我解脱。我真的是像水面的浮萍,不知道要飘向何处。未来也对我失去了吸引力,我的心终日烦燥不安。

“抢救”丈夫在人生的道路上极度无望、空虚迷惘的时候,我来到美国。那是因为结婚後不久,先生就赴美留学,半年後我也放下在国内的工作到美国探亲与先生团聚。对美国,我从来没有抱太大的希望。在我的印象中,美国是一个“精神文明”的荒漠,虽然它的“物质文明”在世界领先。我透过美国现代派小说家的眼睛所了解的美国,是一个每个人都为了名利(或者所谓“自我价值的实现”)而不停地奔波、拼命地奋斗的国家。而在拥有了名利以後,他们要麽走向荒诞,要麽拥抱虚无。所以我相信我的答案不在美国。

不过美国毕竟是一个陌生的世界,既然我的先生选择了到那里学习深造,我也愿意“出去”看看。然而让我大为吃惊的是,我先生刚刚去了那里几个月,便在我们的“鸿雁传书”中告诉我,他已经“信主”成了一名基督徒。这个消息让我意想不到,因为我一直觉得先生是挺有思想、不会轻易迷信盲信的人。

这个消息也让我有点悲叹起来:我先生这样一个“明白人”,怎麽就一下子变成了宗教的奴隶?我想他一定是一个人在外太孤单、太需要爱、心灵太空虚,所以才选择了宗教。我当时的心情真的是为他很心痛。同时我也暗下决心:一定要给先生更多的爱和关怀,把他从教会拖回来。我当时就给先生邮寄了几十公斤的中文书籍,都是我认为属於“几千年来人类文明的精髓”的。我希望有了这些“精神粮食”,先生就不会再需要宗教这个“精神鸦片”。我也做好准备,到美国後一定要好好用温柔的爱,把先生从我不愿意相信的宗教里面,“挽救”回来。

我来到美国後,先生好像越信越深,没有一点被我“挽回”的迹象。倒是我,因为先生每周参加查经班活动的缘故,开始接触基督徒和基督教信仰。我先生就读的地方,是阿拉巴马州的一个小小的大学城塔城。在那里有一个小小的华人查经班:塔城华人基督徒团契。一进到这个查经班,我立即被那种友爱温馨的气氛所吸引,同时让我吃惊的是,查经班的绝大多数成员,都是我先生就读的这所大学的留学生和教授。他们个个都是充满活力、自信能干的样子,并不像我想像中的那样要麽是大字不识的文盲,要麽是软弱无能的妇女。对基督徒的信仰的好奇,加上受到基督徒的爱心的吸引,我几乎每周都去查经班,而且因为我当时还没有上学,所以也有时间读一点圣经。

一万条理由但是我觉得我不需要信基督教。当基督徒有什麽好处?内心的“平安”?我觉得自己从来就是个随遇而安、知足常乐的人。为了认识人的罪性?我早就承认“人非圣贤,孰能无过。”我承认自己虽然不杀人、不放火,但在本质上是有罪性的。但是既然人人都如此,我也并不为此感到羞愧,也不想改变。再说我在很多方面比有的基督徒做得还要好呢?我有自律的能力,不需要通过宗教才能行善。

至於天堂和地狱,我认为那根本是“神话”,而且我也不在乎那麽遥远不可测的东西。更何况如果天堂里面只有绝对的美好,那美还有什麽价值?美要跟丑相对立才能显出其美丽麽。天堂里面信徒天天跟上帝在一起,做的事情只有唱歌赞美,岂不是太枯燥乏味?更重要的一点是,如果真要信一个宗教,我为什麽一定要相信基督教呢?世上有这麽多宗教,都说自己是真的,我又怎麽知道到底哪一个是真的呢?总之,我有一千个理由不信,却没有一条理由信。

从大陆来的人几乎都有相似的经历:我们曾经很很纯真地相信了一些“美丽”的谎言。当旧有的信仰被砸碎後,重新建立信仰就很难了,因为要上过当受过骗的人再相信什麽是很困难的,更何况新旧信仰之间表面上还有一些相似之处。

记得我刚来美国时参加过一个福音营,有一位讲员问大家:“你们有没有见过七美元的伪钞?”大家齐声回答:“没有。”讲员又问:“为什麽没有呢?”大家都不知道怎麽回答。讲员说:“因为没有真的,所以就没有假的。”这使我深思:世上有这麽多假神的存在,是不是恰证明了有一位真神存在?而且,凡“假冒伪劣”的东西,总是要在外表上尽量模仿真的。人们常说最高明的骗子是在百分之九十九的真理中掺入百分之一的谎言。由於有假的,人们即使遇到了真的,也会怀疑,不敢相信,我是否也是因为碰上过假的,就连真的也不敢信了呢?

我还曾经见过这样的一个“赌注论”(据说原话是法国大思想家帕斯卡说的):如果真有上帝,你成为基督徒就大赚,不是基督徒就惨了;如果没有上帝,你当一辈子基督徒有平安喜乐,也没有任何害处,所以把宝押在“信”上是只赚不赔的……可我不能拿自己的信心当“赌注”。我还是不愿意盲信。

我看了不少的书籍,希望真正地探求真理。我看了《铁证待判》,这本对很多人都有很大的帮助的书,让我对圣经的真实性不再怀疑;我看了《科学创造论》,对“进化论”不再迷信;看了《世界几大宗教》、《基督教与回教的比教》、《摩门经》等,对其它非基督教的宗教信仰有了更多的认识与了解。又在读圣经的同时看了一些解经的书,对解答圣经中一些一直困惑我的问题也很有帮助.

理性上的很多障碍都已经消除,但是我还是不愿意成为一名基督徒。要说感情上,我身边的很多基督徒已经给我做了很好的榜样,我也希望能够跟他们互相友爱,希望像他们那样对他人充满爱心。可我为什麽仍然不愿意成为一名基督徒呢?现在再回过头去看,其实在很多藉口的背後,还是我的硬心拒绝接受神。因为在心灵深处我很清楚,当一名基督徒就意味著我不再属於这个世界,我必须与自己的过去告别。而我对这个世界、对自己的过去仍然有太多的留恋,有太多难以割舍的东西。

另外一个“理由”,是我当时正在准备GRE考试,我想要凭自己的能力去考,要证明自己是靠实力而不是靠上帝的保守,实现自己上学的理想的。有人说,信仰有几个方面:感情、理性和意志。确实,当我在感情和理性上都对基督教信仰认同以後,我仍然“选择”不信神──这就是意志所做的决定。

超水平发挥有人对我说,你先生比你先信主,你在他後面,受影响,再成为基督徒应该是顺理成章的。其实这一点我先生最清楚:我是个“逆反心理”特别重的人,喜欢跟人抬杠。你若说基督教不好,我可能会为基督徒“辩护”几句,你若说当基督徒好,我就会拼命挑刺找出反对的理由。所以我去了查经班一年多,每次都是乐於跟人争辩,成了一名老“慕道”不信主的“资深慕道友”。先生是个急性子人,但是在我信主的事情上,倒是知道急是急不来的,所以还挺沉得住气,也从不催逼我。

那年的圣诞节我跟著先生一起去亚特兰大,参加一个基督徒的聚会。因为我还不是基督徒,所以只能参加“慕道班”。这个班上大部分人都是刚从国内来美国不久,对基督教和圣经了解很少。他们提的问题我觉得都很“初级”、肤浅,都是别人已经问过无数次、我也听基督徒回答过无数次的问题了。我就忍不住“帮助”主持的基督徒回答,搞得人家很奇怪我为什麽还没有信主。聚会的最後一天,我们熟悉的一位牧师说要带领我祷告。我马上就很“警觉”,我可知道什麽叫“决志”。我赶紧申明我不会决志,牧师笑说还是可以一起祷告麽。於是我跟著牧师做了这样一个祷告:“神啊,如果你真的存在,求你帮助我,打开我的心,好叫我认识你、接受你”。

从那个聚会回来,我又开始忙著准备GRE考试。没有特别的感动,也没有什麽奇蹟出现,我也忘记了跟牧师做的祷告,只是每天睡觉前听先生为我的考试祷告。我的英文根底不太好,要考GRE真的是非常愁苦,常常为复习多时没有进步而烦恼,先生的祷告和鼓励倒是给我很多安慰。

直到有一天去主日崇拜,牧师讲完道後大家唱一首以前听过多次的歌:《照我本像》(Just As I Am)。那是一首词曲俱佳的歌,非常动人。那天我听著听著,眼泪就止不住地掉了下来。我知道我的时候到了。神对我一再宽容、忍耐,也因为我的硬心给我很多机会,现在我该回头、该归回了。我便说,神啊,求你赦免我的顽梗和骄傲吧,我愿意接受你做我的救主,我生命的主,我要把自己的一生都交给你,让你掌管……这是我第一次要别人“掌管”我的生命;但是,我是俯伏在天地万物的创造者面前,又有什麽可羞愧的呢?

二月份的GRE考试很快就到了,我跟以前每次面临重要考试一样,觉得自己还没有完全准备好,十分紧张,害怕上了考场就脑子里面一片空白。考完出了考场,等候在外面的先生过来问我感觉怎样。我说刚进考场时有点紧张,於是我开始祷告,後来便一点也不觉得紧张了,题也答得挺快,有好多题彷佛“似曾相识”,又想不起来在哪里看到过。先生没有多说什麽。等成绩下来,分数远比我平时做模拟考的时候好,可以说是“超水平发挥”。我和先生心里知道这是神给的,他眷顾初信的我的微小软弱的信心。於是,刚信主不久而且最害怕在众人面前讲话的我,在教会团契中开口做了“初信之时,我蒙恩惠”的见证。

孤独的地球回首自己这一生走过的路,可以说是非常顺利。我生长在一个和睦的家庭,父母疼爱我,兄弟姐妹之间亲密相处。我的学业一帆风顺,从小学到大学,一直是班上的好学生、班干部,毕业後分配在家乡一个专业绝对对口的研究单位工作,也很被领导重用,列为“重点培训对象”。到了婚嫁的年龄,又嫁了个爱我疼我,素质、人品都好的先生。在世人眼里,物质上、精神上该有的我都有了,我应该很满足了。可我为什麽还是一直感到空虚、烦躁?我为什麽仍然常常在热闹的街头、在短暂的快乐之後,感到一种挥之不去的忧愁?

以前我认为,这是因为地球在茫茫的宇宙当中是孤独的,所以地球上的人也就有一种与生俱来的孤独与绝望。现在我才明白,我有这种孤独和绝望的感觉,是因为我离开了上帝,所以心灵得不到安宁。正如哲学家所说:在人心里有一个洞,这个洞用世上任何东西──金钱、名利、健康、友情、亲情、爱情都不能填满,只有上帝才能够填补。我想这是因为我们本是上帝所造,且是照著他自己的形像所造。他把“灵”放在我们心中,因此,只有当我们的灵与上帝接上、相通的时候,我们才会得到真正的满足和平安。

自从我认识了上帝,我终於找到了生命的归宿,从此我那漂泊不定的心灵得到了安宁。我知道了我从何处来,要往哪里去,我知道了生命真正的意义。我开始学会珍惜生命中的每一天,也更珍惜我的婚姻。当我结婚的时候,我根本没有奢望有幸福美满的婚姻,因为那时我根本就不相信世界上会有什麽幸福美满的婚姻,我也不相信“终身相守”、“白头到老”的“童话故事结局”。

在我成为基督徒以後,我逐渐认识到自己的自私、任性、好强和缺乏爱心,更体会到先生处处都对我那麽体贴和关怀。以前的我曾经期盼过一种“轰轰烈烈”的生活,而今的我在日复一日、看似平凡的生活中,体会到了上帝的看顾和生活的美好。三年前神赐给我们一个可爱的小宝宝,三年来我读书,先生工作,还要带孩子,我们在酸甜苦辣中经历了神的同在。我们不但一步步走了过来,而且我们的家庭恩爱有加。我要说,我一生中最大的福分是认识了耶稣基督。在今後的人生旅途上,或许我还会遇到各种各样的困难和考验,但是面对明天,我毫无惧怕,因为我深信“无论何环境,我已蒙主引领”。

恩典见证 26.我…

音频 8 分钟

旅美科技工作者。四川成都人,复旦大学化学系毕业。1992年赴美留学,1995年至今在美从事化工科研开发工作,曾任研发工程师、技术经理,现为咨询公司主管。1995年始触中文网,十年来在中文网络上发表大量文帖,内容涉及宗教、科学、社会、文化等方面,被称为“网络先锋”。美国校园特邀讲员,网络电视台嘉宾。创建管理“基甸连线”网站和“哈比人博客”,著有《穿越网络的信仰思辨》。

我一直认为,每个人信主的经历本身都可以说是一件“神迹”,因为太多看来完全不可能信主的人,都被那位又真又活的宇宙万物的真神寻见。就说我自己吧,以大陆年轻一代“知识分子”的背景,又是学自然科学的,今天能够信主得救,真的全是神的恩典。

我出身於一个大陆知识分子家庭,父母都是医学院毕业,毕业後被“分配”到生活艰苦、气候“高寒”的四川藏族地区工作。我从小由外婆带大,才得以留在城市受一些的教育。小时候算是一个“听话懂事”的孩子。读中学时高考制度已经恢复,我虽然年纪尚小,但头脑中已经知道只有考上大学才是唯一的“出路”,才能摆脱回父母那里工作的“命运”。於是更加发奋努力读书,後来考入复旦大学。大学期间除了专业(化学)方面的学习,也拚命吸收其它方面的知识,对西方思想、文化渐渐产生兴趣,同时也形成了一种建立在自我上面的“个人奋斗”的“人生观”。

那时的我虽然对“官方”的意识形态已经怀疑、反叛,但在信仰上并没有太多的思考和追求,内心还骄傲地认为:“除了自己,什麽也不信。”大学毕业後回到成都工作,进入社会,仍然是没有信仰可言。一方面在打麻将这样的“娱乐”中消磨光阴,一方面却又还有点“不甘沉沦”,因著心中那一点点残存的中国“知识分子”传统的“忧国忧民”之心,也还想追求一点点“理想”。尽管当时的“理想”概念是模糊的,大概也就是“为国家、为人民做点有益的事情”之类的想法吧。当时觉得自己挺不错的,总比完全对“理想”这一类东西漠不关心的同辈,“垮掉的一代”好一点吧。

青年知识分子 – 精神上最大的苦闷其实就是没有一个立命安身的信仰,对人生意义和自己的价值的迷茫。我拚命试图摆脱这种迷失,但是对名利的追求让我不能得到真正的满足,“劳民伤财”的“娱乐”无异於“饮鸩止渴”,社会上的世态更让我认识到人心的诡诈险恶。我开始认识到“问题的核心是人心的问题”,同时更看到自己的渺小可悲:以自己身上无可救药的“人性的弱点”,连自己都无法“超越”,还谈什麽“修身、齐家、治国、平天下”?

痛苦当中我朦胧地意识到对一种超越的信仰的需求。我开始更多地看一些哲学、宗教方面的书。从西方哲学,到中国传统思想,从佛、道、老、庄,到存在主义,甚至气功、命相,我从这些当中偶尔也能看到人类智慧的闪光,但是这些东西并不能给我生命意义的答案。关於基督教的书我也读了一些,其中多半是怀疑、批判、甚至谩骂攻讦的。少数比较公允的也只是把基督教思想作为西方精神支柱之一的一种哲学思想来加以介绍。倒是有一本名为《拯救与逍遥》的书

从“比较哲学”的角度把基督教信仰体系同其它东西方哲学宗教放在一起“比较”。书中虽然没有什麽结论,我看完却对基督教信仰产生很深的景仰,对这种对上帝的信仰产生了向往。就在这段时间内我通过认识一些基督徒,对活生生的基督教信仰也有了一些接触。1990年我为了挣些“第二职业”的“外快”去考了业馀英语导游的执照。当时有一个英国“气垫船长江科学考察团”的中方陪同通过旅行社雇我去当翻译。这个考察团是要用气垫船往长江上游“探险”,逆流而上直到长江源头。

我觉得很有意思,加上也想挣点钱,所以向单位请了假参加这次不同寻常的“长漂”。後来我才知道这个团里几乎所有成员都是基督徒,他们在英国都有自己的事业和家庭。他们自愿组队,每个人自己掏腰包到中国来搞这次活动,并不是为了旅游消闲。除了地理、地质、材料、医学等方面的科学考察研究外,他们还有一个重要的目的,就是利用气垫船这一现代交通工具尝试给长江上游这样的闭塞地区传医送药、引进现代科技,进行人道援助等等的可能性。但是他们这一活动几经周折,不但历经艰险,要与长江上游恶劣的自然环境抗争,还要克服各种人为的阻碍。尽管他们有国务院的批文,还是不得不成天与官僚主义和一些唯利是图的中方人员打交道,有时连我这个翻译都不免沮丧。但是我看到他们这些基督徒却是耐心地祷告,仰望他们的上帝,用极大的爱心来宽恕、理解别人。

在长江上游和他们朝夕相处,风雨同舟一个多月,他们并没有机会系统地向我传讲福音,但是我从他们面对艰难险阻的态度,从那种超越的信仰的自然流露中,看到了他们的信仰带给他们的力量,看到了对上帝的信靠对他们生活的积极影响。这种活生生的“见证”远比书本上的哲学真实可信,让我对基督教信仰有了好感,也在无形当中抵销了一些先入为主的成见和误解。这次“长漂”以後,我的一位学英语的朋友告诉我他已经信主,并且邀请我去参加他们一邦青年基督徒的“家庭聚会”。我於是有机会见到了新一代的中国基督徒,看到、听到这一群跟自己背景相似的年轻人怎样祷告、查经、唱诗、分享。不过我当时只是抱著“看看”的态度,对基督教信仰的认同仍然还是停留在文化、知识的层面上,我自己想都没想过要去“信主”,让这种信仰同自己的生命发生关系。

〔求学美国〕92年8月我来到美国求学。每个从大陆出来的人都有一大篇出国的“过五关斩六将”的曲折故事,我当然也不例外。单位的“挽留”,考“托福”、考GRE、申请资助的困难,更不在话下。我在成都签证时就在美领馆前面排了四天四夜。更“玄”的是,直到签证前一天的下午我才拿到第二次寄给我的I-20表!我当时虽然还未信主,也恍惚感到冥冥之中有一双慈爱的手在带领。

刚到美国的时候(我当时在阿拉巴马大学),生活上的不习惯、与妻子分开的孤独,让我一下子面临很多困难。但是我一到阿拉巴马,就有同乡、同系的“老刘”到机场来接我(我以前并不认识他)。他们一家在那段时间更是从各方面给我很多帮助,用车载我跑这跑那成了常事,而我很快得知他们那时刚刚信主成为基督徒。通过他们,我又渐渐认识了更多的华人及美国人基督徒朋友,这些“弟兄姐妹”从生活上、精神上给了我很多的帮助,也带我去“查经班”和教会。

我从他们身上看到满有上帝之爱、满有平安喜乐的生命闪光,让我再次对这种真实的生命背後的信仰产生向往。在“查经班”查考圣经更让我有机会直接、真实地了解基督教信仰的基本要义。开始时我当然也有问不完的问题,不过因为查经班的气氛非常自由、活跃,我也就毫不客气、大胆(甚至刁钻)地向基督徒朋友们提问,与他们辩论,而弟兄姐妹总是耐心解答、谦虚讨论。我渐渐意识到自己以前对有神论、对基督教信仰的偏见和误解,也开始突破一些以前自己以为是“科学理性”的阻拦。圣经的真伪、进化论与神创论的比较、基督教与其它宗教的区别 – 反覆的思考、讨论,使我越来越从理性上认同基督徒的信仰。圣经和主耶稣的话更是常常震撼、感动我的心灵。

〔生命的改变〕92年10月的一个主日,我在当地的一个美国教会参加崇拜。当天美国牧师证道具体讲的什麽我都记不得了,但我的心被上帝之爱深深感动。当牧师讲道後“呼召”,请愿意在那个时刻接受主耶稣的人走上前去的时候,我虽然心里仍有挣扎、仍有那麽多不能明白的问题,但是我的感动是如此之深,我好像身不由己,移步走向前台,当众表明自己的决定,接受主耶稣进入我的生命,做我个人的救主和生命的主,让他管理我的一生。信主以後,我的生命在不知不觉中发生了非常多的改变,正像“瞎眼今得看见”一般,我的世界观、人生观、价值观彻底更新。以前以自我为中心、道德上自以为是、否定上帝存在的我,现在认识了神的创造和人的罪性,神也给我一颗顺服上帝、常常感恩的心。

以前对人生的意义苦苦探寻却一无所获,现在能够因著接受耶稣基督的爱而认识那一位创造宇宙万物、也创造生命气息的神,而且可以通过祷告、读神的话圣经,与神亲近,在生活中经历神的带领,每日出入得蒙神的看顾,劳苦愁烦时有了“精神支柱”,遇到困难时也有了力量的源泉。以前的我性格暴躁、自私好斗,现在靠著活在基督里面、靠著神的带领,我的脾气慢慢变好,在教会也能学习以爱心待人。最明显的例子,要算跟太太的夫妻关系。现在大家看我们都说是“恩爱、体贴”,其实我们俩原来性格、脾气并不都是那麽好,完全是因为信主後俩人能够时时一同祷告,按圣经的教导“彼此顺服”,美好的家庭生活才如此蒙神保守。我深深感到成为一个基督徒、做神儿女,使我的人生有了终极的信仰、目标,也给予我积极向上的人生态度。

我漂流的心灵不再流浪,迷失的灵魂回到了永恒的故乡。我自己在以前的学业、觅职及现在的工作等方面都得到神慈爱的带领,在精神上更是享受到神所赐的“更丰富的生命”,这样的“生活方式”带给我的是满有平静安稳的心境和超越环境的心灵满足与快乐。回顾我信主走过的路,我对神在我身上的恩典充满感激。以前曾经感叹命运像“上帝的骰子”,其实在上帝那里根本就没有什麽“偶然事件”。今天回头一看,我这一路“信仰之旅”,每一步无不是神恩手的牵引,每一程无不是神亲自的看顾。神的爱让我叹其奇妙,仰其深高,也巴不得能和自己的亲人朋友分享。朋友,如果你愿意打开你的心门,如果你真心渴慕寻求真理,我相信神也一定会将你寻著,让你也能享受到这“奇异恩典”,得著这永远的生命。因为这是神的心意,也是神的应许。“你们祈求,就给你们;寻找,就寻见;叩门,就给你们开门”。(太7:7)

Testimony…

 Listen for 8 min  

Science and technology workers in the United States. Born in Chengdu, Sichuan, he graduated from the Department of Chemistry at Fudan University. In 1992, he went to the United States to study, and since 1995, he has been engaged in chemical research and development in the United States, serving as an R&D engineer and technical manager, and is now the director of a consulting company. In 1995, he began to touch the Chinese network, and in the past ten years, he has published a large number of articles on the Chinese network, covering religion, science, society, culture, and other aspects, and is known as the “Internet pioneer”. Guest speaker on American campuses and guest on online TV stations. He founded and managed the Gideon Connection 

I have always believed that everyone’s experience of believing in the Lord can be said to be a “miracle” in itself because too many people who seem to be completely impossible to believe in the Lord have been found by the true and living God of the universe. Let’s just talk about myself, with the background of the younger generation of “intellectuals” in the mainland, and studying natural sciences, it is really all God’s grace to be able to believe in the Lord and be saved today.

I was born into a family of mainland intellectuals, and my parents both graduated from medical school after graduation, I was “assigned” to work in the Tibetan area of Sichuan, where life is difficult and the climate is “cold”. I was raised by my grandmother when I was a child, so I was able to stay in the city and get some education. When he was a child, he was an “obedient and sensible” child. When I was in middle school, the college entrance examination system had been restored, and although I was still young, I already knew in my mind that the only way out was to go to university, and I could get rid of the “fate” of going back to my parents to work . So he worked harder to study and was later admitted to Fudan University. In addition to Xi studying chemistry during college, I also struggled to absorb knowledge from other aspects and gradually became interested in Western thought and culture, and at the same time formed an “outlook on life” based on self-reliance on “personal struggle”.

At that time, although I was already suspicious and rebelled against the “official” ideology, I didn’t think much about and pursue my beliefs, and I proudly thought in my heart: “I don’t believe in anything but myself.” “After graduating from university, I returned to Chengdu to work and enter society, but I still have no faith at all. On the one hand, he wastes time in the “entertainment” of playing mahjong, but on the other hand, he is still a little “unwilling to sink”, because of the little remnant of the traditional “worrying about the country and the people” of Chinese “intellectuals” in his heart, he also wants to pursue a little “ideal”. Although the concept of “ideal” at that time was vague, it probably meant “doing something useful for the country and the people”. At that time, I thought that I was quite good, and it was better than my peers, the “Beat Generation”, who were completely indifferent to things like “ideals”.

Young intellectuals – The greatest spiritual anguish is the lack of faith in life, the confusion of the meaning of life and its value. I tried my best to get rid of this loss, but the pursuit of fame and fortune made me unable to get real satisfaction, the “entertainment” of “working people and wasting money” is tantamount to “drinking water to quench thirst”, and the state of the world in society made me realize the treacherous and sinister nature of the human heart. I began to realize that “the core of the problem is the problem of people’s hearts”, and at the same time, I saw my insignificance and pathetic: with my hopeless “human weakness”, I could not even “surpass” myself.

Amid my anguish, I was dimly aware of the need for a transcendent faith. I started reading more books on philosophy and religion. From Western philosophy to traditional Chinese thought, from Buddhism, Taoism, Lao, and Zhuang, to existentialism, and even Qigong and Destiny, I can occasionally see flashes of human wisdom, but these things do not give me the answer to the meaning of life. I also read a few books about Christianity, most of which were skeptical, critical, and even invective. The few fairer ones only introduce Christian thought as one of the spiritual pillars of the West. There is a book called “Salvation and Escape”.

From the perspective of “comparative philosophy”, the Christian belief system is “compared” with other Eastern and Western philosophical religions. Although there is no conclusion in the book, after reading it, I have a deep admiration for the Christian faith and a yearning for this belief in God. It was during this time that I was able to get some exposure to the living Christian faith by getting to know some Christians. In 1990, I went to get an amateur English tour guide license to earn some “extra money” as a “second career”. At that time, there was a Chinese escort from the British “Hovercraft Yangtze River Scientific Expedition” who hired me as an interpreter through a travel agency. The purpose of this expedition was to use hovercraft to “explore” the upper reaches of the Yangtze River, going upriver to the source of the Yangtze River.

I thought it was very interesting, and I also wanted to make some money, so I asked the unit for leave to participate in this unusual “long drift”. I later learned that almost all of the members of the group were Christians, and they had their careers and families in England. They volunteered to form a team, and each of them paid out of their pocket to come to China for this event, not for leisure purposes. In addition to scientific investigation and research in geography, geology, materials, medicine, etc., they also have an important purpose, that is, to use hovercraft, a modern means of transportation, to try to deliver medicine to isolated areas such as the upper reaches of the Yangtze River, introduce modern science and technology, and carry out humanitarian assistance. However, their activities have endured several setbacks, not only to fight against the harsh natural environment in the upper reaches of the Yangtze River but also to overcome various man-made obstacles. Despite the approval of the State Council, they still have to deal with bureaucracy and some mercenary Chinese personnel all day long, and sometimes even I, the translator, cannot help but be frustrated. But I saw that these Christians were patiently praying, looking to their God, and loving to forgive and understand others.

I spent more than a month with them in the upper reaches of the Yangtze River, and they did not have the opportunity to systematically preach the gospel to me, but I saw the strength of their faith and the positive impact of their trust in God on their lives from their attitude in the face of difficulties and dangers and from the natural outpouring of their transcendent faith. This kind of living “testimony” is far more authentic and credible than the philosophy in the books, which has made me feel good about the Christian faith, and it has also invisibly offset some preconceived preconceptions and misunderstandings. After this “long drift,” a friend of mine who was studying English told me that he had come to Christ and invited me to a “family meeting” of their young Christians in one state. I had the opportunity to meet a new generation of Chinese Christians and to see and hear how this group of young people from similar backgrounds prayed, studied, sang, and shared. However, at that time, I only had the attitude of “seeing”, and my identification with the Christian faith was still at the level of culture and knowledge, and I never thought of “believing in the Lord” and letting this faith have a relationship with my life. I came to the United States in August ’92 to study. Everyone who comes out of the mainland has a large number of twists and turns of going abroad to “pass five hurdles and kill six generals”, and I am certainly no exception.

The “retention” of the unit, the difficulty of taking the “TOEFL”, and the GRE, and applying for funding are not a problem. I waited in front of the U.S. Consulate for four days and four nights when I got a visa in Chengdu. What’s even more mysterious is that I didn’t get the second I-20 form sent to me until the afternoon of the day before my visa! Although I was not a believer at that time, I also felt a pair of loving hands leading me.

When I first arrived in the United States, I faced many difficulties at once due to the Xi of life and the loneliness of being separated from my wife. But as soon as I arrived in Alabama, “Lao Liu”, a fellow villager and fellow of the same lineage, came to pick me up at the airport. The family helped me a lot during that time, and it became a common thing for me to run here and there in a car, I soon learned that they had just become Christians at that time. Through them, I gradually got to know more Chinese and American Christian friends, and these “brothers and sisters” helped me a lot in life and spiritually, and also took me to “Bible study” and church.

I saw in them the flashes of life full of God’s love, full of peace and joy, and made me yearn for the faith behind this real life again. Studying the Bible in the Bible study allowed me to understand the basic essence of the Christian faith directly and authentically. At first, of course, I had endless questions, but because the atmosphere of the Bible study was very free and lively, I was unceremonious, and bold to ask questions and debate with my Christian friends, and the brothers and sisters always answered patiently and humbly discussed. I gradually realized my previous prejudices and misunderstandings about theism and Christianity, and I began to break through some of the barriers that I used to think of as “scientific reason”. The truth of the Bible, the comparison between evolution and creationism, the difference between Christianity and other religions – the repeated thinking and discussion made me more and more rationally agree with the Christian faith. The Bible and the words of the Lord Jesus have often shaken and touched my heart.

One Sunday in October ’92, I attended a service at a local American church. I can’t remember exactly what the American pastor said that day, but my heart was deeply touched by God’s love. When the pastor “called” after the sermon to ask those who are willing to accept the Lord Jesus at that moment to come forward, although I still have struggles in my heart and still have so many questions that I can’t understand, I am so deeply moved, I seem to be involuntary, I move to the front desk, make my decision in public, accept the Lord Jesus into my life, be my personal Savior and Lord of life, and let Him manage my life. After believing in the Lord, my life has undergone a lot of changes unconsciously, just like “blind eyes can see now”, my worldview, outlook on life, and values have been completely renewed. I used to be self-centered, morally self-righteous, and denied the existence of God, but now I know God’s creation and the sinful nature of man, and God has given me a heart of obedience to God and thanksgiving.

In the past, I searched hard for the meaning of life but found nothing, but now I can know the God who created all things in the universe and the breath of life because of the love of Jesus Christ, and through prayer and reading God’s Word and Bible, we can get close to God, experience God’s guidance in life, get God’s care every day, have a “spiritual pillar” when we are working and sorrowful, and have a source of strength when we encounter difficulties. I used to be irritable, selfish, and aggressive, but now by living in Christ and relying on God’s leading, my temper has gradually improved, and I can learn to love others in Xi church. The most obvious example is the relationship between husband and wife with his wife. Now everyone says that we are “loving and considerate”, but in fact, our original personality and temper are not so good, it is entirely because after believing in the Lord, the two of us can pray together from time to time and “obey one another” according to the teachings of the Bible, and the beautiful family life is so preserved by God. I deeply feel that becoming a Christian and being a child of God has given me the ultimate faith and purpose in my life, and it has also given me a positive attitude towards life.

My wandering soul no longer wanders, and my lost soul returns to its eternal homeland. I have been lovingly guided by God in my previous studies, job search, and current job, and I have enjoyed God’s gift of “a richer life” spiritually, this “lifestyle” has brought me a calm and stable state of mind and spiritual satisfaction and happiness beyond the environment. Looking back on the path I have traveled, I am grateful for God’s grace in me. I used to lament that fate is like “God’s dice”, but in fact, there is no “accident” with God at all. Looking back today, every step of my “journey of faith” is the traction of God’s grace and the care of God himself. God’s love makes me marvel at it, look up to it, and wish I could share it with my family and friends. Friend, if you are willing to open the door of your heart, if you truly desire to seek the truth, I believe that God will also seek you so that you too can enjoy this “amazing grace” and have this eternal life. For this is God’s will and God’s promise. “Ask, and it will be given to you, seek and find, and knock, and it will be opened to you.” (Matthew 7:7)

查经 第03篇《利…

张保罗查经《利未记》导论(一)

《利未记》不只是为一个民族而写,也是为现代人而预备。从表面看,本书讲的大半为祭司的权责和一些管理以色列人精神、道德与肉身生活的法例,枯燥且乏味,读时很易忽略,以致成了圣经中少人细读的一本书。

事实上,若能深入理解,便会发现这本可称为“祭司手册”的书,所载祭司的职事、献祭的条例、洁净与不洁净之物的区别、一年一度“赎罪日”的盛典,以及接触到以色列人生活每一面的戒律,无不涉及到一个健康社会文化的基本精神。这精神包括在一句话中:“你们要成为圣洁,因为我(耶和华)是圣洁的”(11:44)。藏在这些典章、律例后面的,正是现代道德与精神生活所需要的指南。本书的教训不受时空限制,为新约的作者所接纳和继续。主耶稣特别提到19:18揭示的“爱人如己”,认为是人伦关系的总纲,仅次于敬爱天父(可12:30-31)。《希伯来书》更将主基督的侍奉和祭司相比。祂是那永久更美的祭司,为世人的罪献上了完全更美的祭,就是祂圣洁无瑕的自己。

书中记有天父禁止人用两样的尺码;嘱咐收割时要留些给穷人;祭司在法律前与庶民同等;贫苦人家可用鸟类代替牛羊献祭,以及关于“安息年”和每隔五十年欢庆一次的“禧年”的理想大同之境。处处显出天父是既公平又慈爱的神。

祂恨恶罪恶,因祂圣洁;祂要求人在道德上完全,因祂纯全无疵。祂不只要求人内心圣洁,也要求人表里配合,内外如一。人要与神和好,必须先把罪除去。祂喜悦忧伤痛悔的心,只要肯真诚认罪,必可得到赦免。

本书严禁近亲结合、逾闲越轨的男女关系,并严厉对付同性间逆性的行为。所载食物洁与不洁的法例,完美周详,丝毫不逊现代保健及疾病预防方法。

以色列人在西奈山下所接受的就是这样一种又公平又有人情味的律法,作为生活与敬拜的基本指导。现在,他们可以向神所应许的迦南地进发了。

到新约时代,福音可以传给万民,犹太人作一、本书作者:《利未记》是摩西五经的一部分。摩西五经,在希伯来文原是一本书,为摩西所写。

二、书名

《利未记》这个书名是从希腊文旧约《七十士译本》译过来的,原文作是“利未人的〔书〕”的意思。拉丁文(罗马官方语文)翻译的《武加大译本》作Leviticus,意思相同。利未在雅各十二子中排行第三。神拣选了这个支派在会幕和日后的圣殿里担负宗教事务的责任(申33:8-11)。

三、背景

本书头一句话,已为背景及内容作了一个概要的介绍。本书是神在西奈山下对摩西说的话。

神说话的地方是在会幕里(1:1)。这会幕是以色列人在西奈山下奉献金银木料,用了差不多一年时间建造的(比较出19:1;40:17)。会幕落成后,神召摩西进入里面,将日后祭祀的条例指示他;一如在建造会幕前,在西奈山上将会幕图则指示他一样(比较出24:12-31:18)。

《利未记》所包括的时间只有一个月零二十天。以色列人在出埃及的第二年正月初一日立起会幕(出40:17),在第二年二月二十日便起程(民10:11)离开西奈山往迦南地去。《利未记》中的训诲便是在这个时期中颁给摩西的。

四、圣洁的国民

以色列人经过在西奈山下与神立约,成为神国的子民。他们要成立一个“祭司国”(出19:6)藉着这个国家的典章律例,表彰神的圣洁与公义。(“祭司”一词,在本书出现了189次。)

祭司国中的民,必须都是“圣洁的民”(申14:2),因为作祭司最重要的条件是圣洁(比较10:3)。

“圣洁”,就是《利未记》的主题。“圣洁”二字,贯穿全书,出现了87次。“圣洁”在希伯来文基本意思是“分别”,将人或物分别出来,归给神,属于神,为神所专有。

神与人立约(出19:6),让人作祂的子民,将祂的心意指示人,让人也有份于祂的圣洁。神是圣洁的,祂在道德上绝对完全。祂慈爱、公义,绝对公平,绝对信实。这种种可以在人的德性上局部反映的本质,神也用来要求祂的子民。这就是神颁布的律法的意义。“我是耶和华你们的神,所以你们要成为圣洁,因为我是圣洁的”。(11:44)

在旧约里,神用了一个有形的会幕来表明祂的与人同在(出25:8),所以,以色列人必须在肉身生活上也须做到完美无瑕疵,才配亲近耶和华的圣会幕(利15:31)。

在《利未记》,圣洁是用日常事物的具体形式来表明,因此有了各样的洁净条例。今天,信徒已不须守这些关乎肉身的条文,因为基督已经完成了救赎,在灵性上通往神那里的路已经打开了(来9:8-9;10:19-21);信徒不再在有形的会幕里亲近神,而是随时随地用心灵直接亲近神(约4:23-24;来9:24-25)。旧约的以色列民,到会幕礼拜时,身上不能有一点不洁(指在仪文上的肉身不洁净)。祭牲必须完美无残缺(8-10章)。

张保罗查经《利未记》导论(二)

五、圣经中有关两性关系的立法

除了肉身上的洁净,旧约也要求人在道德上圣洁。摩西时代,约在主前十五世纪,属铜器时代后期。当时中东很多民族尚在民智未开的阶段,迷溺于假神的膜拜,有的甚至将亲生子女作火祭献给偶像;有的宗教,以淫乱为崇拜仪式的一部分。摩西所颁布的律法,其一神信仰和高尚的道德法则,好象太阳,照亮了巴勒斯坦地一片黝黑的精神荒原。摩西的律法非常重视两性关系的正常。律法虽然没有强制执行在伊甸园里已立下的完美婚姻模样(创2:24),但对于婚姻的纯一,绝对不容许人破坏;更加不容许异教之风影响以色列纯洁的民风。十诫的第七诫明言:“不可奸淫”(出20:14),就是要保障家庭的完整和纯一。在游牧民族尊重男权的社会里,男子不但是经济生产的主力,也是每个家庭的保护人。父亲为一家之主,负起家庭的全部责任,包括耕种田地、牧养牲畜、贸易行商、保卫家园。做妻子的,主要的责任是生儿养女、教育后代,主持家务,在经济生产上做丈夫的帮手。

希伯来家庭还有一个特色,就是子女众多,而且以此为蒙福的标记。妇女不育,视为羞辱;夫妇无子女是不幸的事。在这种社会里,虽然容许多妻,律法对不同妻室所生子女的产业权也作了安排(申21:15-17),但是绝对禁止通奸。已婚妇人,或是已经许配别人的未婚女子,若与别人有奸情,当即处死;而男的也一同处死。至于未婚而又没有许配人的女子,如果与人私通,这种关系必须以正式婚姻手续来了结(申22:13-30;利20:10-21)。即使对方为外族婢女,也不可以偏待(申21:10-14)。从这些定例,可以看出希伯来民族对婚姻的重视和尊敬。

上古时代的社会,有很多违反天然、违反人性的风俗,这些在以色列民中都为律法所严禁。例如兽合(人与动物交合)、同性恋、乱伦等,而且对这些恶行往往施以极刑。

与兽淫合(18:23)和同性恋(18:22)都是违反天然的行为;羞辱了神给人的高贵形象(创1:26;雅3:9),也辱没了创造人的主;圣经中绝对不容许。

至于乱伦,则是违逆天伦、破坏家庭的罪行。家庭维系在父子、夫妇、兄弟、姊妹等等正常的人伦关系上,亲情和肉体爱情不能紊乱,否则,家庭破裂,社会瓦解。圣经绝对禁止乱伦。希伯来人是个热情的民族,肯定正常的两性关系。他们有不少诗歌和文学,以歌颂爱情为主题。圣经中的《雅歌》即为其一。但是希伯来文化和我国有相似的地方,就是对于性事,极少直接宣之于口,只用隐约字眼,委婉说出。“脚”、“大腿”等在希伯来文有时可指男性私处。“知道”一词,用指男女性关系(创4:1);在中文,这字多译为“同房”。至于中译“露出下体”一词(利18:6),在原文是“露出赤身”,也是发生肉体关系的意思。

六、历法

以色列人的历法也是一年有十二个月。这十二个月也象中国的农历一样,是依月圆月缺来计算的。阴历是依月亮绕地球转一次为一个月,月亮绕地球转十二次便为一年。这一年和阳历一年差11天,须用闰月来补足。阳历则是以地球环绕太阳转一次来计算一年。今天世界通用的公历是阳历。

离开了埃及之后,便改用阴历。出埃及那一个月定为正月,逾越节在正月十四日;那一晚,正是一年的头一个月圆之夜。(正月在希伯来文字称为亚笔月,“亚笔”是谷物收成的意思;那一个月,大麦开始收成。)

这正月(亚笔月,被掳后又称为尼散月)正值阳历三、四月间。(逾越节是主耶稣受难的日子,因此每年受难节、复活节时期,就是犹太人的正月。)二月则在阳历四、五月间;三月,在五、六月间;余此类推。请参后图“以色列的古历法”。不过,大概是为了农作上的方便,犹太人还采用另一种历法,就是以每年的第七个月(希伯来文字称为提斯利月)为正月,约等于阳历的九至十月间。第八个月(马西班月)为二月;余此类推。一般称前面的一种为宗教历,后面的一种为民事历。

民事历和巴勒斯坦的农作习惯配合。巴勒斯坦的气候可以很明显地划分为两个季节:雨季和旱季。雨季在阳历十月至次年三月,而旱季在四至九月。第七个月(提斯利月)是雨季的开始,而第一个月(亚笔月、尼散月)是旱季的开始。第七个月以后(阳历十一、十二月间)为下种的季节,而第一个月以后(阳历四至六月间)则是收成时期。雨季和旱季都有雨季,前者在秋天来到,称为秋雨;后者在春天来到,称为春雨。这正就是为什么圣经上多是秋雨、春雨并提,而且提秋雨在先,春雨在后的原因(申11:14;雅5:7)。古时巴勒斯坦农民秋雨播种,春雨收成。

旧约中的重要节期与圣日:

安息日:礼拜六;安息年:第七年;

禧年:第五十年;逾越节:正月十四日

无酵节:正月十五至廿一日;初熟节:正月十六日;五旬节:三月初六日;吹角节:七月初一日;赎罪日:七月初十日;住棚节:七月十五至廿二日

被掳后设立的节期。

张保罗查经《利未记》第一章                    

1:1 《出埃及记》最后所记的会幕,现在正式启用。祭司已经膏立,会幕落成的祭也已举行(出40:13-33)。耶和华神在会幕充满荣光的帐幕中召见摩西,把百姓献祭的条例告诉他。摩西依照神的吩咐,把神赐的律法教导百姓。献祭为敬拜仪式的一部分,必须按严格的规定来进行,以防渗入迷信、神秘色彩或者错误的教训,违反神的旨意,破坏神人间完美的关系。献祭用的“供物”,原文意思是“携近”圣坛的东西,包括一切献给神的礼物;献祭因此是人就近神的途径。其次,所献的供物,不论为牛羊或鸽子,必须是奉献的人特别付上过代价,能充分代表他自己献在神面前。更重要的是,献祭表征人对神的顺服(撒上15:22),和对神对人恒久的爱(何6:6;可12:33)。重要的是这表征而非祭物本身。圣经严厉谴责误把创造并拥有万物的天父当作喜欢吃肉喝血的神。神所喜悦的是人对神从心灵深处发出的感谢的祭(诗50:7-15)。《希伯来书》勉励信徒,应靠着耶稣基督,常以颂赞神救赎保守的大能为祭,是信徒见证神的具体表现;同时还应记得行善和捐输(来13:15-16)。这才是神所悦纳的祭。

本节到7:36包括1,献祭的人应守的条例,祭司献祭应注意的事项。两者记述燔祭、素祭、平安祭、赎罪祭和赎愆祭等五祭的次序一样,只不过在对祭司的训示中,把平安祭从第三位放到五祭之末。这种有次序的记述当然是为了方便记忆,但从写作体裁上看,《利未记》是一本祭司手册。

1:2 从“若有人献供物”一语,可以明白神所定的献祭是自愿而非强迫,是个人而非群体的行动。群体的祭要到“赎罪日”大祭和节期的祭祀礼中才提出(16:1-34;23:1-32)。百姓为了感恩,重新奉献自己,重申与神的亲密关系;或者求神宽恕己罪,个别到会幕坛前献祭。发自内心至诚的献祭才为神所悦纳(太5:23-24)。

以色列人因着献祭,可以时常来到他们生活与敬拜的中心,与会幕保持接触。百姓要献祭,一律不得禁止,就象今天一切带着痛悔的心,凭信心来到主基督面前的人,祂都接纳一样(约6:37)。

1:3 本节到9节讲燔祭,所献供物必须是没有残疾的公牛,是献祭的人从自养的牛群中拣选的。自养的牛与野牛不同,因为献的人为了养牛付出过时间、劳力与心血。指定用公牛虽可解释为父系氏族社会重男观念的结果,代表力量与地位,可能还有更实际的意思。在牲畜就是财产与生财工具的社会中,母牛为长期繁殖所必需,又可供给牛乳,价值大过公牛。公牛须无残疾,是神对祭物也是对祭司的要求(利21:17-23;22:18-25)。完美的才可代赎有罪与不完全的人。无过犯无罪的主基督在十字架上付出祂的生命,以此最高的代价来救赎犯罪堕落的人,也是神大爱的最高彰显。公牛要全烧在坛上,表示献祭的人毫无保留的完全奉献,“燔祭”的原文有“上升”的意思,象征敬拜与祷告随着馨香上达天父(9节)。

献祭完全自愿。献燔祭的坛设在会幕的进口处,坛上的火永不止熄(6:13)。在会幕中,每天早晚为全以色列民献上羔羊各一只为燔祭(出29:38-42;利6:8-13;民28:6,10,15,23);安息日献两只。节期的燔祭,献的牛羊数目更多(民28-29章)。

1:4 献祭的人把手按在牲畜的头上,表示所献的是他的财产,也是他的替身,如同把自己献上。献祭的时候,献的人和祭司可能会说几句话(后来圣殿里献祭时,有诗歌配合),献祭的人可能在神面前承认自己的罪或不洁,由祭司在坛前宣告他的罪得赎。在献祭的仪式中,献祭的事不是由祭司一手包办,献的人也积极参与。他除了按手在牲畜的头上,还要把牲畜剥皮、切块(6节)。

1:5 献祭用的公牛在靠近帐幕的祭坛北边“宰”杀,祭司把代表生命的血洒在燔祭坛四周。坛用皂荚木包铜作成(出38:1-2),正方形,每边约长2.25公尺,高1.4公尺;安设在帐幕的东边,几乎近整个会幕的中央。据《利未记》7:8所记,燔祭用的牲畜所剥下的皮归祭司,不过本节未提到牲畜的皮如何处置。

1:7-9  7节说每献一次燔祭要重新点火,应是以色列人在旷野漂泊,会幕随时迁移的结果。后来抵达加低斯等地(参民33章),停歇较久,才有坛上的火永不熄的规例。

7-9节简单提了一下生火和烧祭物的方法,火要烧得红,红到可以把祭牲烧尽,脂油则浇在柴上助燃。“馨香的火祭”(9节),不是说神喜欢闻到祭物烧出的气味,象偶像那样食人间烟火;而是献祭的人有象馨香上升的敬拜与祷告的心,为天父所喜悦,因神悦纳的是献祭的人谦卑、顺服与感恩的心,不是祭物本身。

1:14 本节到17节讲以鸟为供物献祭的条例。在以色列人中,有的人虽或有牲畜,但无力献作祭物。对这些贫穷的人,不但可用鸟来替代,且不限公鸟,也没有规定必须无残疾。最适于作祭物的鸟为斑鸠或雏鸽。圣经中时常提到鸽子。古代传统说,鸽子没有胆汁,故算为清洁、驯良的鸟类。

张保罗查经《利未记》第2章  

2:1 本节讲述献素祭的条例。素祭(希伯来原文作“谷物祭”)用的供物为田间的生长物,不象燔祭用动物,《和合本》依中国习惯从“素食”、“素餐”,译为“素祭”。

素祭所献的有大麦和小麦磨成的生面粉(1-3节)、烤或煎的饼(4-10节),以及烘的谷物(14-16节),这些都是生活的主食品,本自愿乐意的原则献给厚赐百物的神,得到祂的喜悦;出发点与献燔祭一样。素祭有时与燔祭、赎罪祭、平安祭一同献上,以还特许的愿(民6:13-17)。在会幕中,每天早晚献燔祭的时候,也献上素祭(民28:1-5)。

献素祭时,祭司从面粉中取出一把,浇上橄榄油和盐与乳香一同烧在坛上。余下的面粉烤成饼,但不可加酵,供祭司在圣处吃(6:14-17)。献在坛上的素祭不可加酵或蜜。献祭的人不可吃素祭的物;祭司自己献的素祭要全烧在坛上,也不可以自己吃(6:22-23)。

本节讲的素祭,虽然多与他祭同献,似为可以单独献的祭,是贫苦人家献给神的“礼物”(“祭”字在原文有“礼物”之意)。所献虽微,但在神眼中仍是献祭者全身奉献的表征,丝毫不减其重要性。新约中记有耶稣称赞寡妇所捐的两个小钱,因她把养生的都献上了(可12:42),说明天父注重的为动机,为献者整个身心的交托,与所献礼物轻重无关。 橄榄油象面粉,也是劳力的收获,是地里的出产。乳香为圣洁、崇高的表征,博士献给婴儿耶稣礼物中便有乳香(太2:11)。献素祭同时烧乳香,寓有取悦于神之意,但献赎罪祭时便不可用乳香(5:11)。

张保罗查经《利未记》第3章                    

3:1 平安祭也属自愿乐意的献祭。原文含有“和平”、“相契”、“完全”等意思,表示人与神的和好,以及人有何不足或不安,凭信心来到神面前,得到满足与平安。献祭的方法和燔祭十分相似。不同的是,祭牲不限公的;献祭的及其家人可以吃祭牲的肉,祭司也可得到一份(7:14-15,31-34);同时指定了献给神的那一部分,叫做“盖脏的脂油”,和护养重要内脏器官的其他脂油。这些脂油积聚在牛羊的两肾和肝胃之间,有独立的供血系统(3节)。

3:2 平安祭也寓有浓厚的替代献者祭于神前的意义。献祭的人因此要把手按在供物头上。献的人要参加宰牲,祭司负责把血洒在坛的四周;然后把祭牲切成块子,其中一部分烧在火坛上。这里没有提到剥皮,应为祭典的一部分。

3:3 祭牲的脂油不可以吃。脂油为动物上好的部分,属耶和华(参申32:14)。禁吃脂油可能也和健康有关。大量吃脂油能增加血液中的胆固醇,引起高血压、血管、心脏方面的病症甚至乳腺癌。《利未记》7:23且禁止吃不是献祭用的牛羊的脂油,吃了当火祭牲畜脂油的须从民中剪除。

3:5 平安祭通常献于燔祭之后,可能象燔祭一样每天都献,把脂油等等浇在已献的燔祭上烧。

3:9 巴勒斯坦盛产肥尾羊。用羊献平安祭,要把整条尾巴取下与其他脂油一起烧在坛上。羊尾藏脂甚厚,有的尾巴重达30公斤。

3:11 “献给耶和华为食物”:以色列人把祭当作礼物,将献者的感恩与愿望放在神面前(21:6,8,17,21),馨香上达,取悦于神;不象其他中东民族,认为神祇要吃人间食物,所以献祭(参结16:19)。

3:12 献山羊的方法与献绵羊相同,但是否与燔祭一道举行则未说明。本章5与16节所说的“馨香”原文作“取悦的香气”,不可误解为以色列人用祭物的香气来供养神。神是个灵,所要的是人的心灵和诚实的敬拜(约4:24),不须人间物质的供养。

3:17 脂油不可吃,血也不可吃,因为血是动物的生命。17:11说,“活物的生命是在血中”。祭物所流的血乃圣物,代表牺牲者的生命。生命宝贵且神圣,血也应受到人的敬重(参创9:4)。耶稣基督为神的羔羊,钉十字架流血舍命为全人类取得永远的救赎(来9:12,22)。《申命记》12:15-16禁止吃血,但没有禁止吃脂油,因所讲的事与这里完全不同,不可混淆。

张保罗查经《利未记》第4章                    

4:2 关于误犯的罪本章列有四种人:受膏的祭司(3-12节)、以色列全会众(13-21)、官长也就是民间的领袖(22-26节),和民中一人(27-35节)。赎罪祭不属自愿,而是律法规定必须献的祭(14,23,28节)。犯罪的人的社会地位不同,所要求用的祭牲也各异。又为无力献牛羊的人特别规定了可用鸟类或细面作供物(5:7,11)。

本节到5:13都是有关赎罪祭的条例,是人犯了罪之后而献的祭。所犯的罪须出于无知而且不是故意的。人若故意犯罪,赎罪祭便没有功效。人犯了罪要承认所犯的罪(5:5),并须负起犯罪的责任。无分贵贱贫富,犯了罪都要献此祭。

“罪”的希伯来原文是“矢不中的”意思。人应遵行神的命令,过圣洁的生活(利11:44;19:2),这是人活在世上的目标;犯罪的人没有达到这目标。“误犯”是无心做了神所禁止的事,或者由于人的软弱,有意识地违犯了规例(5:1-4),都属此范围。

4:3 “受膏的祭司”指大祭司。此例制订时,唯一受膏的只有大祭司,他负有指导全民精神生活的责任。大祭司若犯罪,反映在全民身上。损害到百姓与神的关系,也污损圣所,所以会“使百姓陷在罪里”。

做神“君尊祭司”的信徒(彼前2:9),必须以公义为衣,不可让罪管辖必死的身体(诗132:9;罗6:12)。大祭司献赎罪祭为自己赎罪,使敬拜神的地方得到洁净,归耶和华为圣,神可以再住在祂的民中。大祭司若发现了误犯的罪,应献此赎罪祭;但若误犯了罪却不知道,这种罪要到“赎罪日”的大祭中去赎。

4:4 “按手在牛的头上”,祭牲替代献祭者受刑,象征代赎。

赎罪的原则是:1,替代(牵牛到会幕门口);2,认同(按手在牛的头上);3,以死代赎(把牛宰于耶和华面前)。

4:5 赎罪祭有两种。第一种比较重要,血要弹在圣所的幔子上,并且抹在会幕内香坛的四角。祭物一点也不可以吃,脂油、腰子、盖脏的脂油都要烧在坛上,其余的要在营外烧掉。第二种是为民间的领袖和百姓的。血只抹在祭坛的四角,其余的血倒在燔祭坛的坛脚上,脂油等照样烧在坛上,其余的祭牲可以留给祭司和家中男子在圣所中当食物吃(6:29-30)。百姓可用母山羊或绵羔羊献赎罪祭(28,32节),但若为穷人,可用斑鸠或雏鸽(5:7-8)或两公升面粉(11节)。

4:6 “指头”为右手食指(14:16)。弹血七次,因“七”为完整的数目。幔子为隔开圣所与至圣所的布幔(出26:33)。

4:12 公牛的血和脂油依例处理后,余下的皮、肉和内脏都要移到营外“洁净之地”,也就是倒灰的地方,可能是燔祭坛东边那块处理废物和灰烬的所在。赎罪祭的目的是洗去大祭司因误犯了罪对圣所造成的污秽,大过赎他自己的罪,所以不可把祭牲烧在坛上,而应烧在营外。《希伯来书》13:11-13提到此条例,把主耶稣和赎罪祭的牺牲相比,祂的血为罪献在圣所中,又在“营外”(耶路撒冷城外的髑髅地)受死,使人类可得拯救。牛象征地担当了罪,必须全牛烧毁,不可留在倒灰的地方。

4:13 本节至21节讲全会众为误犯之罪献赎罪祭的条例,办法与大祭司的相同。全民可因大祭司的不当行为或不当教训而犯罪,赎罪之法便与大祭司相若,不过由会中的长老按手在牛的头上,代表会众在神面前认罪。

4:20 全民献祭赎罪,他们的罪可得到赦免。

4:22 本节至26节讲官长献赎罪祭的条例。官长似指民间领袖,地位次于大祭司,高过百姓甚至长老。官长献的祭物为没有残疾的公山羊(23节),血抹在坛的四角。处理脂油的方法与平安祭同(26节)。

公山羊在价值上低于公牛,反映献祭者地位与财力都较大祭司和全民为差,却高过普通的百姓。后者献祭只须用母山羊或绵羊。

4:27 本节到35节讲一般平民献赎罪祭的条例。母山羊或绵羊羔都是普通百姓献得起的祭物。28-31节和32-35节所记的完全一样,属献祭的步骤:血抹在燔祭坛的四角,脂油依平安祭的办法处理。

张保罗查经《利未记》第5章

5:1 本节到13节讲述三种违例的罪。第一种是看见了或听见了却不说出来。第二种是摸了不洁之物或人,当时不知道,后来知道了就有了罪。第三种为口里冒失发誓,却不知道此事的后果如此严重,一旦知道也就有了罪。要赎这种不知道而犯的罪,献一只母羊或山羊。不过未献祭前必须认罪(5节)。这里虽用“赎愆祭”一词,指的都是赔偿的祭物,赔补所犯的。14-19节才是正式的“赎愆祭”。

5:11作赎罪祭供物的细面,献时不可加油和乳香。细面虽无血,但代替燔祭(12节),也具有血牲的地位,符合“若不流血罪便不得赦免”的原则(来9:22)。用细面替代带血的牲畜,也符合律法的代赎精神。献祭完成,罪获赦免,余下的细面便归给祭司。

5:14 本节至19节讲无意中冒犯了会幕中的圣物,献“赎愆祭”的条例,“赎愆祭”与“赎罪祭”的基本不同处,是犯罪的人有偿还的机会。例如无心损坏了会幕中的物品,必须偿还,另加罚金五分之一(16节;5:2-7)。“赎罪祭”的犯者所犯的罪则属无法偿还的。

“赎愆祭”用没有残疾的公羊。祭司要照损失情形作出准确估价,再决定所献的公羊的价值。“圣所的舍客勒”(15节)为祭司估价的标准,按此标准重量计算银子。一个“舍客勒”可能等于今天的十一克,但到底其价值为多少,很难和现在比较。

从这个条例可以看见神对人无微不至的看顾:有些人分外担心自己的行为有否触犯不可行的事,现在有了赎愆的机会,良心可获宽舒。这也是保罗所说的对神对人做到“常存无亏的良心”(徒24:16),不叫人因自己的行为跌倒(林后6:3)。唯有坚决遵行神的话语的人,靠着神的保守,才能做到“无可指摘,诚实无伪,…作神无瑕疵的儿女”(腓2:15)。

张保罗查经《利未记》第6章                   

6:1 本节至7节讲失信于人或损及他人财物献“赎愆祭”的条例。因为神与祂百姓的亲密关系,触犯人也有同干犯神。本章所记三种罪包括欺骗邻舍交托的财物、抢夺和欺压他。

律法禁止作假见证陷害人(出20:16;申5:20;利19:13),应该爱邻舍如同自己(利19:18)。本章所列各罪都是出于贪恋他人财物,并想做了瞒住神。但在一个与神立了约的社会中,一人犯罪及于全体(参林前12:26);今天在神家里的人(信徒)应特别留意此事。干犯的人必须先对受害的一方作出适当赔偿,并按财物价值缴付另外的五分之一。这些赔偿也许是用银子支付,要犯罪的人明白,破坏人际关系,失信背约,须付出高代价。赔清了钱之后,干犯的人才可按祭司所估定的值(5:18),将一只无残疾的公羊牵到祭司前(祭司为神膏立的代表),认罪、献祭、得到赦免。

6:8 从本节开始到7章全章都是为祭司而写,指示献祭的程序,特别着重祭肉的吃法,在什么情形下(例如在平安祭中),献祭的人可以和祭司同享。

祭司要把坛上的火“常常烧着”(9-11节),因为燔祭的祭牲必须在坛上全部烧尽。燔祭必须一早一晚为全体百姓献上(出29:38-42),一方面提醒以色列人不可中断对神的敬拜,同时显示神对人的不断看顾。(今天的信徒因着主耶稣一次的献上,可以与神同行,得到祂的保障,不再需要这些献祭的仪式,但是献祭的精神仍应保持。)祭司要让坛上的火常常烧着,是他们应尽的一种职责,并非取代1:1-17有关点火献燔祭的规例。祭物的脂油不断滴在柴上,使坛上的火可以烧到天明;然后祭司要移去坛灰。他把灰移到坛脚时穿一种衣服,搬到营外又穿另一种衣服;同时为坛添柴,使坛火不熄。会幕烧坛火的工作不因安息日停火的规例而停止,因为每天要献祭两次,安息日也不例外。

在圣所中移去坛灰的卑下工作,也是祭司的职事,而工作性质上小小的不同(把灰移到坛底和搬到营外),必须穿不同的衣服;在会幕中穿礼服,出到会幕外,穿常服。可见:1,不问工作贵贱,只要是出乎神的差遣,同样重要,同样尊严。2,人对神的态度如何,也表现在他的外表上。侍奉神,不问工作大小,决不可轻慢随便;内心与外表同等重要。

6:14本章着重讲祭司的责任,以及细面的纪念部分献在坛上后,余下的如何处置的规例。这些条例为2:1-16的补充。

6:19 作大祭司的人每天要为自己和全体祭司献上素祭,就是细面伊法十分之一(约2.3公升),分在早晚献上;数量很小,属象征性的献祭。细面要调油,在铁鏊上煎好成饼,再献在坛上烧尽。祭司一点也不可以吃,因为这是为他们自己而献的祭。

这些条例告诉祭司,虽有圣职,在法律前与百姓平等,不可滥用特权,应力求灵性与人格上的完美无缺。

本段条例着重讲献祭成圣的一面,其他与至圣的祭有关的条例都适用于此祭。凡接触到祭肉的人或物,都可成为圣。衣服若偶然为血所污,须在圣处洗净。属祭司的祭肉不是烤,而是煮了来吃,煮的用具有铜制与泥制两种。有些供物极其神圣,连祭司都不可以吃(30节)。

张保罗查经《利未记》第7章                          

7:1 “赎愆祭”属至圣的祭,只有祭司中的男丁可以吃。本段补充了祭司那一份祭物的处置方法和程序。“赎愆祭”与“赎罪祭”间的相连关系在7节作了说明。

7:11 关于“平安祭”,在3:1-17已有规定。本节到21节为应归给神、祭司和献祭的人的那一部分的补充。平安祭可以为还愿的感恩祭,也可以作甘心献的感谢祭(16节),是所有的祭中献的人可以分享祭物的祭。后来犹太教且把平安祭的地位提升为最高的一种祭。献感谢祭时,须同时献有酵与无酵的饼,其中一个给主礼的祭司。平安祭的祭肉只可在献祭的那天吃,不可留到第二天,但为还愿而献的可以多留一天,也许可以邀请亲友同吃(参申12:12);剩下的祭物必须全部烧掉。不遵守此例,所献的不只不算为祭,且成为“可憎嫌的”(18节);吃这种祭肉的人要担当献祭人的罪,从民中剪除(19:8),可以是死亡(例如20:2-3;出31:14)或者被逐出营(参创17:14;出12:15)。

平安祭的祭物与燔祭相同,祭牲可用母的,但不可以用鸟类。此祭虽用动物为供物,却不用作赎罪,完全为感恩而献。

7:22 本节至27节的规定不限祭司,也为全民应守的条例。3:11已扼要讲述不可食动物的脂油,本段作了更详尽的说明。

在希伯来人的思想中,脂油为祭物最好的部分,应属耶和华神。因此任何动物的脂油都不可吃,只有自死和被野兽撕裂的才可作他用,例如烧在毒蛇的洞口,把蛇赶走,不让伤害牛羊。

世上一切都属神,神把物质世界交人保管,人应将所托管的一部分归给神(创1:28;代上29:14),人与神的关系因此不只是口头的尊敬,而须有实质的表现,所献供物必须有一部分甚至全部分献给神,烧在坛上。后来的十一奉献继续成为人蒙福的原则(玛3:10)。本章规定凡违例食脂油与血的必从民中剪除(指死亡或被逐)。动物与鸟类的血都不可吃,因为血是活物的生命所寄(17:11)。生命既为神所给,只可以归还给祂,人不可以占有。禁止吃脂油与血还有保健的理由。血虽然为健康所需,也含有病菌,吃了可以染上多种疾病。而脂油可引起心脏病,例如血管硬化或胆固醇过多症等。

7:30 归给祭司的胸和右腿,先要在神面前摇一摇,当作摇祭献上。

7:37-38 这两节为1-7章所讲五种祭的条例的综述,所用形式为中东米所波大米一带泥版的跋,也就是作者写在文末的“书后序”,包括1,题目(“耶和华所吩咐摩西的”);2,作者(摩西);3,写作日期(“他在西奈旷野吩咐以色列人献供物给耶和华之日所说的”);4,内容综述(“这就是燔祭、素祭、赎罪祭,赎愆祭和平安祭的条例”),相当于泥版的跋中所记泥版的数目。

这种写跋的形式流行于巴比伦时代,早于摩西不过百年,当为在埃及受有良好教育的摩西所熟悉。他采用这个形式来写一个极重要的献祭条例便很自然了。

现代读者读到本书所记的条例,会觉得枯燥乏味,但在当日希伯来民族中,这是他们精神生活的重要部分,一直保持到主后70年耶路撒冷城被毁、圣殿祭祀终止才停止。但是这些条例所包含的原则,今天读来,仍是人认识神和人在世上行为的基本指南。神所以注重人的罪,是因为祂的圣洁,祂要求人在道德上完全,祂的无瑕无疵纯全无比的性情,不能宽容人的罪行(参来3:13)。祂虽然爱世人,但憎恶罪,犯了罪的人要恢复与神的和好关系,必须先赎罪,把罪除去。

本书所记条例规定,只有误犯的罪可获赦免,但“擅敢行事”、故意犯罪干犯神的,得不到赦免(民15:30-31),必须被剪除。误犯的罪,藉着献祭,加上真正认罪与悔悟,可以得到赦免。耶稣基督的救赎比摩西律法更进一步,即令是故意干犯神的罪,只要真诚认罪悔改,也可以得到赦免。唯一不能获赦的罪,是得罪了(亵渎)圣灵,例如把圣灵在人生命中的工作,说成是受魔鬼的影响。

张保罗查经《利未记》第8章                       

8:1 摩西必须先为这些膏立的祭司献祭,让他们承接圣职;这些祭司也需要整套献祭的条例和执行职务的“手册”,并得到授权之后,才可以工作。所以本书前七章先讲各种献祭的条例和规章是有必要的。授亚伦及诸子祭司职务的命令来自神,祭司因此掌握精神与道德方面的最高权威。

8:2 圣衣包括胸牌、以弗得、外袍、杂色的内袍、冠冕和腰带(出28:4),外袍只供以色列的大祭司亚伦和他的继任者穿着。亚伦穿的以弗得是一件绣织的褂子,其他的祭司着的以弗得,则是用普通的细麻做成。以弗得用两条肩带相连披在身上。但是否遮住胸腹则不得而知。

《出埃及记》和《利未记》中所记的事与物,当时为人熟知,虽着笔不多,当时读者可充分了解;但后人已见不到实物,单凭简单文字难窥全豹,故不可妄作测度。

膏油为供抹帐幕、圣物并膏大祭司之用,后来也用来膏民中领袖与君王。

以弗得之上,挂以胸牌,藏有决事用的“乌陵”与“土明”。

8:6 摩西用水为亚伦及诸子在帐幕前院的铜洗濯盆那里“洗了他们”,以表明洗去他们的罪,情形有似新约的水礼。有的犹太学者认为亚伦等在这里的“洗”是全身的浸洗,就象赎罪日那天,大祭司用水洗全身一样(16:4)。

8:8 “乌陵”和“土明”希伯来文“乌陵”和“土明”的第一个字母各为希伯来文字母的首字和尾字,似乎隐含始与终之意,但因无法找出二字的来源,一切的解释都不外乎推测,难作定论。只能说此二物乃替向神求问的人决事之用,从《撒上》14:37及28:6所记,知道当日以色列人用此决事,但圣经中未解释用法。圣经最后提到的地方在《尼希米记》7:65。今天,信徒决事直接遵循神的指示,不在用象乌陵与土明之类的东西来卜休咎、定可否。

8:11 主持大礼的摩西,用指头把膏油弹在坛上七次,又抹了一切器皿,使之成圣。用油膏亚伦,表示神拣选了他担任特别重要的职事。有人认为只膏头而不膏身,有把一个人的心智奉献给神的意思。但当日希伯来人象古代中国人一样,只把心当作思想之处,还不知头脑的思维作用。也许头为身体之首,膏头即等于膏了全身,分别为圣,归神所用。

旧约中有三种职事要受膏:祭司、君王(参撒上16:13)和先知(参王上19:16)。“弥赛亚”的意思就是“受膏者”,而“基督”一名等于希伯来文的“弥赛亚”,因此也是受膏者。祭司、君王与先知三种职分最后集中在主基督身上,祂是神拣选的仆人,所应许的弥赛亚,不只用膏油膏立祂,且为圣灵所浇灌,使祂有力量成为全人类的大祭司(约1:32-33;来7:24-25)。

8:14 帐幕和其中的器皿因抹圣油而成圣,但亚伦和他的诸子必须献上三种赎罪祭,罪才可以得到洁净。献祭与膏油成圣同样重要,为整个仪式中不可分的部分。

神要求以色列民成为圣洁的民族,要达到这目的,一切能污秽敬拜与日常生活的事物必须除去。帐幕所在和帐幕内外都须圣洁,在帐幕所献之物和举行的敬拜才为神所悦纳。

这三种祭是赎罪祭(14节)、燔祭(18节)、和承接圣职的祭(22节)。第三种祭中公绵羊的血要抹在亚伦的右耳、右大拇指和右脚大拇趾上。

三祭献过,亚伦开始为百姓献祭(9:15-21),以祭司身份为他们祝福。神用祂奇妙的火接纳了亚伦的侍奉(9:23-24)。

亚伦和诸子把手按在赎罪祭公牛的头上,是认同祭牲替己代赎的表示;摩西然后依照4:1-5:13献赎罪祭的条例献祭。

8:18 燔祭乃依1:3-13的条例献上,也是由摩西主持,祭司献此祭表明完全顺服神的旨意,庄严宣告信守与神的盟约。

8:22 摩西奉上第二只公绵羊,是“承接圣职之礼”的羊。此祭有承认亚伦与诸子取得圣职应享的权利之意,可以享有奉献到帐幕的祭物中属他们的那一份,因为献祭的条例中特别规定了祭司生活供应的来源。

8:23 把血抹在右耳、右拇指和右脚拇趾是奉献全身给神的表示。祭司接受抹血,答应全心全意负起这圣职的责任,从今以后,当敬聆神的宣谕,向百姓传达;凡手所作的事,脚所走的路完全遵照神旨不偏离;不沾世务,专心侍奉神。今天,一切信祂的人藉基督的宝血而成圣,只听神的话语,敬神爱人,走在祂所喜悦的人生道路上。

8:29 摩西以代祭司的身份主持仪式,也须为自己献祭。他承接圣职之礼的那一份为公绵羊的胸,在耶和华面前摇一摇当作摇祭,然后放在坛的燔祭上烧。

8:31-36 摩西对亚伦和他诸子所说的话,见《出埃及记》29:31-37。35节规定以后七天,摩西每天要为亚伦及诸子献同样的祭。(“遵守耶和华的吩咐”应译为“做耶和华所吩咐你们做的”。)

以色列人的历史不断指出,祭司的职事关乎全民祸福,须严格遵守规例,如有违犯必须治死。神在旧约与新约中,同样要求信祂的人顺服在祂的旨意下。顺服是人成圣的重要标记(彼前1:2)。

张保罗查经《利未记》第9章                    

9:1 本节至7节讲述授职大典过后,以色列新设立的祭司开始服务的事。“第八天”指授职礼七天过后的第一日(8:33),亚伦在这一天献上没有残疾的公牛为赎罪祭,又献没有残疾的公绵羊作燔祭(2节);这是为亚伦和诸子而献。

9:2 祭司在担当祭司职务之前应该为自己献上赎罪祭和燔祭,祭司在承接圣职以后,每日都要献上赎罪祭、燔祭和平安祭。表明旧约时代祭祀的不完全,在律法下用动物献上的赎罪祭不能完全除去罪(来10:1-4)。新约时代基督在神面前只一次献上,就永远成就了献祭的实意(来9:26)。

9:3,4 祭司为以色列百姓献上赎罪祭、燔祭、平安祭和素祭。通过献祭除去神与人之间的阻隔,开启与神的交通之路。耶和华要显现: 亚伦和他的儿子作为祭司第一次实行职务,神要显现,意味着神喜悦他们承接圣职,悦纳他们第一次献祭。指耶和华荣耀的显现,显明耶和华的属性和本质(出33:18)。在旧约圣经中耶和华的荣耀常常以光、云、声音、火以及其他可视的形态显现(出24:17;结1:28)。

9:5 全会众都近前来: 为了看到神的荣耀。实际上不是所有的以色列百姓聚集在会幕前,是代表全会众的长老及各支派的官长聚集在会幕前。剩下的百姓们可能在各自所在的地方以敬虔的心朝向会幕。

9:7 为自己与百姓: 为祭司也为百姓赎罪。祭司是代表百姓的宗教领袖,他们的罪对百姓有影响(4:3)。都照耶和华所吩咐的: 祭祀的根本精神是顺服(撒上15:22)。没有顺服的祭祀是虚妄的,也是污辱神(赛1:11-17)。

9:8 本节至末节讲述以色列民献祭的事,先献赎罪祭,再献燔祭和平安祭,一一照神的吩咐行。亚伦最后行使祭司的权职,走出会幕为百姓祝福。犹太人的传统,说他用的祝福词是《民数记》6:24-26的话:“愿耶和华赐福给你、保护你,…愿耶和华向你仰脸,赐你平安。”然后,摩西和亚伦回到帐幕内,把圣所的责任正式移交给了亚伦。二人再出来为全民祈神赐福。神可能象《出埃及记》40:34所记的一样,祂的“荣光”向百姓显现,云柱与火柱降在会幕上,火从云柱中出来烧尽了已在坛上焚烧的属神的祭物,让百姓知道他们所作的得到了神的悦纳。火是神显现的标记。施洗约翰说弥赛亚来后要用圣灵与火施洗;五旬节圣灵象“舌头如火焰”显现降在各人头上。将来信徒在审判的日子要受到火的考验,试验各人工作的根基。百姓看见这情景,充满惊奇、敬畏与感谢之心,俯伏在地,欢呼一片。

9:21 献平安祭,祭司把胸献为摇祭(7:30)、右腿献为举祭(7:32)。献为摇祭的胸归给祭司,献为举祭的右腿归给主管献祭的祭司(7:33)。胸象征爱、右腿象征力量,意味神把爱和能力赐给为神作工的人。

9:23 进入会幕: 代表全会众向神献祭、祈求(4,6节),耶和华显现他的荣耀。摩西作为以色列百姓的领袖、立法者,最后一次入圣所,亚伦承接圣职后第一次进入圣所。

张保罗查经《利未记》第10章                    

10:1 盛大的奉献礼还未过去,祭司刚刚开始执行新的圣职,一件干犯神的大事发生了。亚伦的两个儿子用凡火在神面前献祭,立刻受到死亡的刑罚,因为他们违反了神的吩咐。根据本节到7节所记,拿答与亚比户触犯的条例很多:

1,香炉盛的火可能不是从燔祭坛上取来,容许了不圣洁之物渗入已分别为圣的事物中;

2,只有大祭司才可以把香加在香炉中,而且只可以在一年一度的赎罪日为之。此二人可能出诸骄傲与嫉妒,僭夺了应属亚伦的职责;

3,在早晚固定的时间以外烧香,逸出神所定的时间;

4,可能是喝醉了酒,因而疏忽圣职;

5,把香放在有炭火的香炉中献上凡火,很可能是异教敬事神祇的仪式。要保持在神面前圣洁,必须和一切属世的方式切断关系;

6,他们所献的香也可能不是照神的吩咐作成的香(出30:34-38),所用香炉也可能不是已分别为圣专供会幕用的香炉。

这样看来,亚伦二子不遵神的吩咐,把不圣洁之物冒充圣洁献给神,严重违背了西奈山所立的约和神所吩咐的条例,因此为火烧死。这件事对刚刚进入历史新时代的以色列民十分重要,让他们明白何为圣,何为俗;何为洁净,何为不洁(10节)。界限一定要划清,才能成为神的子民。

10:3 摩西借此事向亚伦和众百姓说明圣洁和分别为圣的真正意义。圣洁是人性中属天的质素,是百姓在西奈山之约中盟誓旦旦、一定遵守的行为准则,必须在日常生活和行为中反映出来。此约乃出乎神的大爱,人必须绝对信守。现在已有人违反,干犯的人虽为至亲,也得死亡,使人明白神重视圣洁,毫无保留。身处高位或得天独厚的人,须特别留心自己的行为,别以为可以不受道德规范的约束,为所欲为。新约圣经明白指出,越是有知识、能力的人,将来神对他的要求也越严苛(路12:48)。

10:4 摩西叫不是祭司的米沙利和以利撒反把亚伦的两个儿子抬出去。他们是亚伦的堂兄弟。亚伦不可以做此事,因为接触死人就会沾染不洁。尸体给抬到以色列人营地外边埋葬,免得有人无意走入坟地,沾染不洁。二人虽被火烧,但身上穿的细麻外袍未烧坏,有人因此推测,烧死他们的天火当为闪电式的一击。

10:8 本节至11节为关乎饮含酒精液体的条例。主持祭祀的祭司进去会幕执行职务前,不论在何种情况下,绝对不可饮酒,包括淡酒和烈酒。礼仪上圣洁的保持,须靠人高度的自律。“清酒、浓酒”同时提,指含各种程度酒精的酒。烈酒当属蒸溜的酒,清酒可能是酿的酒。在近东,适于人饮的食水缺乏,须用酒渗入水中来消毒,醉酒实难避免;只有象许愿作拿细耳人的才能自制,长期戒酒(民6:3)。

《箴言》屡屡告诫喝酒的祸害(例如箴20:1)。酒精入了人体很快入肠,一部分从胃进入血液中。酒不易完全靠消化系统吸收,须藉身体其他器官(例如肝)来代谢,酒直接影响大脑,使人狂喜狂怒,失去自制能力,不能维持头脑的清明。异教拜神风俗,无不与醉酒结不解缘。圣洁侍奉神的祭司不可饮酒,免得头脑不清,不能判别圣俗与是非;违者死亡。信徒应戒绝饮酒(林前6:10;弗5:18),在神面前长保清明,时刻适合祂用。新约把信徒称为祭司,要求信徒学效祭司,完全奉献、力守圣洁,与神长保亲密交通。

10:12 本节至20节须与9章所讲的同读,因为都是有关处理属祭司的那一份祭物的条例。

10:16 赎罪祭有两种,一种要把祭牲的血洒在会幕内,一种只把血洒在外面的祭坛上。这里所讲的属第二种,因为18节说,血“没有拿到圣所里去”。这是奉献礼结束时为全体百姓所献的。依条例,亚伦和他剩下的两个儿子以利亚撒和以他玛可以吃祭肉,但须在圣所内吃;他们却把肉都焚烧了。这是职守的疏忽,也触犯了规例。亚伦因家庭刚逢剧变(1-7节),没有心情吃;两个儿子可能因父亲未吃,也可能害怕亲兄弟犯罪殃及自己,所以未吃。都属情有可原,摩西接受了亚伦的解释(19节)。

张保罗查经《利未记》第11章                

11:1 祭司圣职已经正式设立,亚伦和余下的两个儿子,从家人巨变中,充分认识了祭司职分对本身举止的严格要求,戒慎戒惧,开始履行职责。本章以后所记属祭司应执行的规章条例和祭祀程序。本章讲洁与不洁的生物。民以食为天,在日常生活中首应保持食物上的洁净。 神不只注意祂子民的信仰生活,也管理他们的社会生活。注意食物的洁与不洁,和注意信仰生活上的圣洁,理由是一个:要求他们成为圣洁的民(44-45节)。

综合来说,以下的食物不可以吃:1,血;2,动物的脂油;3,被野兽杀死的牲畜;4,以腐尸为食的动物;5,动物的内脏;6,无鳞无翅的水中生物;7,不分蹄而又倒嚼(反刍)的走兽;8,除了蝗虫、蚱蜢之外的昆虫;9,迦南地初收的农产;10,失雏的母鸟;11,屋内有死尸而没有盖好的饮食;12,用母羊的奶煮的山羊羔。切记这是旧约的标准!

11:2 本节至4节清楚提出地上的走兽可吃与不可吃的一个简单易行的原则:凡是蹄完全分开的反刍动物都可以吃,其他的都不洁净,便不可以吃。骆驼虽然反刍,因为在沙漠上行走,蹄虽分但蹄底下有肉垫相连,不是完全的分开,所以不可以吃。

11:4 摩西五经把动物的肉分为洁与不洁,历来颇多讨论。早在洪水前,动物已有洁与不洁之分,不洁净的动物不可以拿来献祭;但只有本书11章和《申命记》14章细加列述,具体区分。设立这些条例的目的有三种说法:1,防止以色列人仿效埃及、迦南等地异教祭祀的方式,不落入他们吃动物肉类的习惯中;2,要让以色列人在饮食习惯上也象在道德与精神生活上一样保持圣洁,从一般人中分别出来,成为神圣洁的选民;3,为了卫生和健康的理由,吃洁净的动物的肉比较安全,不洁的可能传染疾病。三种说法都指出一件事:神要以色列人成为圣洁的民。 “不洁净”的动物一般带有如下的特性:1,吃肮脏污秽的食物,如尸体、腐肉等,来维持生存;2,与异教祭祀有关,如猪、狗等;3,带着神所咒诅的形状。

11:5 “沙番”一般认为就是我们今天的“蹄兔”。这种动物和兔子一般大小,尾小耳短,毛呈棕黄色,形状似土拨鼠,足有软掌,便于在岩石间跳跃行走。

11:6 兔子的胃,不象反刍动物,没有四部分,吃下东西不再反于口中倒嚼再咽入。但它咬嚼食物的嘴部动作类似反刍,故说它为“倒嚼”。兔子不分蹄,属不洁类。

11:9 把水中生物分类的方法,简单明了;大多数人缺乏水族知识,即令在今天,能清楚分辨鱼类的人,也是寥寥可数。用“有翅有鳞”和“无翅无鳞”来区分,重要是容易辨认,非常实用,以确保以色列人身体健康,在仪文上保持洁净。

本节至12节所说的洁净的水生物,通常深水与浅水中都有,但不洁净的大都生活于浅水中,赖腐败的食物维生,易传染疾病。

11:13 本节至19节载有一张不洁的鸟类的单子,大多为凶禽或以腐烂食物为生的飞禽。最后列举的蝙蝠(19节),应属哺乳动物。这里所列的若干鸟类,虽经译为中文,但甚难确定其所指,译时恐怕颇多推测。例如16节的“鸵鸟”若译为“枭”或“角枭”应较准确,因鸵鸟不属凶禽。不洁或与这些鸟类食带血肉类有关。

11:20 本节至23节列举有翅膀的不洁昆虫,不象走兽,飞禽的规例详细,一概用“四足爬行”来形容。昆虫其实有六足。说“四足”可能是古时代的人看见昆虫爬行时象四足动物,同时不计入后面供跳跃用的两腿。

凡没有后面两腿,不象蝗虫类能蹦跳的,都要当作可憎。这一类的昆虫多以腐败、污秽食物维生,吃了容易生病。近东一带居民,数千年来已把蝗虫当食物。蝗虫肉富蛋白质(50%以上)与脂肪(达20%)。沙漠中的贫户,把蝗虫与蜂蜜同食,摄取身体所需养料。新约记载施洗约翰以此为食物。

11:24 本节至28节指出接触死了的动物所引致的不洁。凡与不洁净的动物的尸体接触了的人,必须洗净衣服;到了晚上,也就是第二天开始时(希伯来人的一天从头天晚间算起),还要洗净身体,才可以参加会幕的敬拜或者献祭。信徒的身体为圣灵居住的殿(林前6:19),必须保持身体洁净与健康,除去死行,来侍奉活神(参来9:14)。

11:29 本节至38节讲20-23节以外的某些动物,指出这些不洁的动物不可以吃,死了以后,人若接触到便不洁净。这些动物多属爬虫类,和鼬鼠等啮齿动物。

这些动物的尸体若与器皿接触,要把器皿浸在水中除去所玷污秽。瓦器必须打碎,因为瓦器沾染了细菌难用水除掉。煮菜饭的炉灶,因为用泥土砌成,照瓦器的办法处理;但是泉源和储水的池子,也许因为水不断流动,不容易为死物所污染,故仍属洁净;但人若与这些死物接触,便不洁净。干的种子与不洁的死物接触,仍是洁净;种子若湿了,会发芽,沾上死物的污秽,可传染疾病,便不洁净。

11:42 本节至45节扩大1-23节有关食物的条例,把用肚子行走,用四足或多足行走的都包括进“爬物”中。

张保罗查经《利未记》第12章12:1 生育的能力为神所赐,能生育是神给妇人的福分(参创21:1-2;太1:25)。妇人怀孕生子所以不洁,要献燔祭赎罪,不是因为生育,而是因为分娩时排出的不洁产血。本章的条例乃为这种不洁而订立,应与15章的漏症、行经等身体排泄物的不洁同读。另一说则认为人类都处在死亡的咒诅下,生下来便不洁(创3:14-19),因此出生后需要洁净。但此说不能解释何以献赎罪祭的为产妇,而非新婴。

12:2 不洁净七天: 生产时会流血或分泌物。分娩的痛苦被视为神对人堕落的审判结果(创3:16)。因此在神面前被视为不洁。“不洁七日”,七日不能与他人接触,之后三十三日不洁(4节),不能到神的圣所。产妇生男孩,要在神面前不洁40日。“月经污秽的日子”,指行经的时候(。

12:3 第八日: 指孩子出生后的第八日。八是复活的数字(创17:12)。在这一天给孩子行割礼,象征使孩子重新生出来,成为属神的百姓。

12:4 洁净的日子: 生产时产妇所流的血不洁,产妇脱去因出血而有的不洁,满了洁净的日子。圣所: 不是指有香坛、陈设饼桌以及金灯台的圣所,乃是指神“分别为圣的场所”。

12:5 产妇生女孩仪文上不洁净的日子不是40天,而是80天。何以生女孩比男孩不洁和家居的日子都长一倍,圣经未作解释。有的人说是因为女胎比男胎更不洁;但献祭赎罪的方式完全一样,可见此说不能成立。也许与族长社会中男女地位不同有关,也可能和女婴长大后的月经有关。

12:6-8 产妇应该献上的洁净礼。满了洁净的日子(男孩40日,女孩80日),产妇要为最后的洁净献上燔祭和赎罪祭。燔祭是对顺利生产表示感谢和奉献,赎罪祭是为除去伴随生产的不洁。赎罪祭用鸽子,燔祭用羊,贫穷人家可以用鸽子代替。马利亚在生耶稣以后,就是用鸽子行了洁净的礼(路2:22-24)。

赎罪祭要同时献一岁的小绵羊和一只雏鸽或一只斑鸠。如果家贫献不起羊,可以献两只雏鸽或两只斑鸠。雏鸽与斑鸠属同类,但斑鸠为候鸟,在非洲过冬,四至十月份才飞来巴勒斯坦(歌2:12);鸽子则一年四季都有。条例中规定献祭的人可在二者中选一,是有实际必要的。耶稣降生后,祂的父母照圣经规定献祭,所用祭牲为鸟类,说明约瑟当时家贫,无力献羊只为祭。

张保罗查经《利未记》第13章

13:1 本章1-46节讲各种皮肤病出现的征象,包括初起时肉皮上的情况(1-8节)、生白疖出现红瘀(9-17节)、长疮(18-23节)、长火毒(24-28节)、头上或胡须上生疥(29-37节)、起火斑生白癣(38-39节),以及落发秃顶等。

13:2 “痲疯”指真正的痲疯病,也可以指其他皮肤的疾病。本章与14章所描述的大痲疯现象,病征变化很快,与今天医学上所说的“痲疯”(Hansen’s disease)有别,故宜取此词泛指的意义译为“皮肤病”较妥。

13:45 患了这些皮肤病在仪文上不洁的人,不可住在以色列人集居的营里,也就是会幕和外院四围的地区。后来圣殿建立,不洁净的人也不准进入圣殿范围。不仅如此,还须和人群远离(46节)。患者因为和神隔离,要撕裂衣服、蓬头散发,同时蒙着上唇喊叫“不洁净了”,以示悲哀。

13:49 这里说的“大痲疯”指羊毛或麻布衣服的恶性发霉现象,因为经线与纬线上出现绿色或红色的霉。霉是长在死了的动物或腐烂的果蔬上的霉菌。毛麻织物生霉,在潮湿的地方多有发生。人有了皮肤病要隔离,衣服生了霉也要隔离(50节)。要是祭司发现霉菌扩散,便须把衣服焚毁(55节),因为整件衣服已为细菌所污染,不再洁净。

13:59 从本章的规例,可以看见神要求祂的子民在道德、身体、甚至所穿着的衣服与所用的器皿上都须做到洁净。消极方面不与不洁净的东西接触,积极方面力保内心与行为的圣洁,和神有圆满的属灵关系。物质生活与心灵生活不可分割,乃完整的一体。新约要求信徒在行为之外,更注意动机的纯正(太5:28),保持意念上的圣洁,做到完完全全象基督。

张保罗查经《利未记》第14章                    

14:1 本节至32节讲患了皮肤病的人痊愈后应做的事:1,在营外由祭司察看,为他行洁净的礼(1-7节);2,第二周在营内献祭赎罪(8-20节);3,贫苦的人献赎罪祭的特别预备(21-32节)。祭司要为已痊愈的患者作两件事:一是宣布患者的病已经痊愈(7节);一是宣告这人可重享作神选民应有的权利,以后可以和其他百姓一起出入,过正常人的生活(8,20节)。

14:5 “活水”是流动的水,例如溪水,以别于井水。疾病是罪的表征,患有疾病的人或发霉生菌的物品都在仪文上不洁净。要洁净须宰杀活鸟,用鸟血洒在身上,并且洗身。

14:6 一只活鸟宰杀,一只放在田野;后者象征病愈者重获自由。

14:7 用牛膝草时可能连同朱红色线和香柏木条一同蘸血,行洁净之礼。

14:34 房屋中的“大痲疯”指的也是一种潮湿发霉现象,与处理发霉的毛织及麻织衣服的方法相同。参13:47-55。从这些洁净的礼仪来看,神非常关心祂的百姓的健康和生活上的卫生。

14:45 房屋若发霉生菌,扩散到不可收拾,便不洁净,必须拆毁,连石头、木块都要搬走。

14:48 房屋经过粉刷之后,发霉现象没有了,祭司才可以宣布这屋子是洁净的,因为病根已清除。然后用两只活鸟来行洁净之礼。

14:54 本章最后三节综合叙述这些为百姓的身体、衣服与住宅的外在状况所立的条例,十分切合以色列民的生活环境,具体且实际,不带任何异教邪魔的神秘颜色。而且这些条例,象其他的律法一样,是全民共知的规定,要百姓随时注意,及早预防这些疾病,长保个人洁净与社会健康,成为神圣洁的子民。

张保罗查经《利未记》第15章 

15:1 本章为个人卫生的条例,涉及男人和女人长期性和间歇性的身体排泄物,包括遗精与月经的处理。2-15节讲男人的漏症,从注意点放在坐过与骑过的东西以及摸身下之物以致引起不洁净来看,说明此类漏症一定和下体的排泄物有关,例如淋病。

16-18节是有关男人遗精及与女子同房的条例。圣经视性事为不洁,并非否定人的肉体的需要;把男女好合列入法例中,毋宁是一种确认。性事所以“不洁净到晚上”是分泌物中包含了人体中已死亡的细胞,而死乃不洁的表征。 

19-24节讲女性月经排泄物的处理,以及女人患血漏症的条例(25-27)。

15:13 如果男人的漏症确属淋病,当为与患有淋病者性接触而引起,此种病虽不致死亡,若不治疗,能导致关节炎等疾病。不正常的性关系不只影响自身与家庭,也影响下一代的健康,故在条例中视漏症为不洁;痊愈之后,还须献祭赎罪(15节)。

15:18 男人与女子同房,如为正当的性关系,这种不洁净只有一个短时期,用水洗澡便可洁净;因为不是罪,毋须事后献祭。

15:19 女子月经不洁七天,七天过后通常应已干净。男子若与经期中的女子好合,沾染不洁净七天(24节)。这是保护女体健康的措施,让家事辛劳的女子得到合法的休息。月经为生理正常的排泄,过后不用献祭,但须洗澡以重卫生。

15:25 女人若患血漏病,她自己和所着的衣服以及睡的床都看为不洁净。血漏若好了,等多七天,确定干净之后,可以献祭赎罪,成为仪文上洁净的人。

新约记有耶稣治疗患血漏病女人的事,按此处条例,那女人不可以摸耶稣的衣裳,因为能让耶稣不洁净。但她一定深信圣洁的耶稣有洁净的能力,可以洁净她的不洁。耶稣看重她的信心,动了慈心,把那女人的病医好了。耶稣的大爱,象那女人的信心一样,超越了一切律法的禁忌与限制。

15:31 这里说明,立这些条例的一个目的,是不让以色列人玷污神的帐幕。旧约时代,神要人在营中支搭有形的帐幕,亲身降临,藉着会幕与百姓同住(出25:8)。以色列人是藉着身体来接触会幕,他们的身体必须与仪文上不洁净的东西完全隔绝,包括日用饮食、衣着、家居生活,来确保完全干净,才能来到神面前。但到新约时代,人对神的侍奉有了显著的不同。道成肉身的基督和我们的关系是在灵性上。信徒今天追求的,主要为心灵上的洁净。

张保罗查经《利未记》第16章   

16:1 本章所记为整个以色列民献赎罪祭的条例。着重点是为全民的不洁净和无心犯的罪而赎罪。逾越节过后六个月,以色列民须“刻苦己心”,由大祭司为全民赎罪。这是每年必须守的赎罪日,整个民族包括本地人、寄居的外人,都一起行动,来到神面前认罪并献祭赎罪,可能还包括全民禁食。守赎罪日为全民敬拜生活的中心。本章详细记述大祭司献祭的全部礼仪:从大祭司穿上圣服、洗身,为自己和众祭司到圣所献赎罪祭开始(4-13节),到为众人的罪在祭坛上献燔祭,并进到至圣所弹血(15-16节),一直到把赎罪祭的牛羊搬到营外焚毁,再度洗身回到营中为止(27-28节)。

16:2 以色列人敬拜中最重要的圣品为约柜和其上的施恩座。约柜的造法见《出埃及记》25:10-20,为包金的长方形皂荚木作的大柜。用皂荚木杠穿在两旁的环内可以抬着搬动。神坐在两个基路伯(天使)上,好象是神的宝座。此词的正确译法应为“盖”。这个盖和其上的基路伯,用来盖在约柜上,也是神的荣光降临的地方。大祭司在这里一年一度为民赎罪,神与人在这里相会(出25:22)。

16:5 本节至10节所讲的为全民赎罪的祭,要用两只公山羊。大祭司要为二羊抽签,可能用乌陵与土明来决定哪一只献祭给神,哪一只归与阿撒泻勒,阿撒泻勒指旷野的一个地名。归于阿撒泻勒的羊代表着按照自己意思献祭而犯罪而死的亚伦的两个儿子。指按照自己意思献祭,没有功效,得不到救赎,如同归于旷野阿撒泻勒的羊一样。按照神的意思献祭,才能得到神的救赎。。归给神的,要把山羊的血洒在至圣所,身体在营外用火焚烧(15,27节);归与阿撒泻勒的,要让牠担当一切的罪孽,送到旷野(10,21节)。在全章极其明确的记叙中,只有“阿撒泻勒”一词不知何所指。可能当日大家都明白其义,所以未作说明。一般有如下三个解释:1,作抽象的罪的“移去”或“去除”解;2,指担了罪的山羊所去的地方,为罪恶的权势所在;3,为旷野鬼魔的名字,为取得好感献羊给它。在希伯来人最神圣庄严的祭祀条例中,决不容许虚幻神话式的解释。本书17:7严格规定不可献祭给鬼魔,否定了取悦旷野鬼神之说。比较合理的解释是:“阿撒泻勒”一字的原意指全民罪愆的“去除”,属罕见的专用词,后来在以色列人的传奇作品中,把此字人格化了。不问此字的准确意义为何,赎罪日的二羊仪式确能在全会众面前生动表明他们无心犯的罪已从他们当中除去,全体人民的罪孽过犯,因着大祭司两手按在羊头上加以承认,得到完全清除。另一只作为全民的赎罪祭,杀了献给神。人的罪可由替罪者代赎(22节),有些译本因此把“阿撒泻勒”译为“替罪的公山羊”。

16:13 香的烟云遮掩法柜,好让大祭司进到至圣所的施恩座前(2节),见不到神的面,以免死亡。

16:15 本节和2节所说的圣所的幔子内,都是指至圣所,里面存放有约柜。平时祭司只能进到圣所内点灯,烧香,不能进入至圣所(出27:21);但赎罪日是唯一的例外,这就是每年的七月初十日(29节)。在这天,大祭司可以带着血进入至圣所内为全民行赎罪仪式(11节);这天因此称为“赎罪日”。

16:16 在圣经中,“赎罪”一词本身和这词在神学上的含义,是有分别的。在神学上,“赎罪”的意义很广,包括整个旧约的祭祀制度和新约中基督的救赎工作。旧约圣经,“赎罪”一词译自几个含义都是“遮盖”的希伯来字。以色列人依《利未记》的条例所献的祭物“遮盖”了他们的罪。这些祭物因此也预表了基督在十字架上的救赎。不过,祭物不能“除去”人的罪(来10:4),只可以暂时“遮盖”,得到神的宽容(罗3:25)。神的公义要求,一直要到基督在十架上成为“挽回祭”才得到满足。

从献祭的人的立场看,献祭代表他们的认罪,也表征他们对神的信心;祭物把他们的罪担了去;在神眼中,祭物为将来美事的影儿,代表基督和他一次献上所完成的救赎(比较来10:1),从此神与人“和好”(罗5:11)。

16:20 百姓无心或无知而有的罪孽过犯,以及其他的罪愆,因着真诚的悔悟和承认,都象征性的归到这只活羊身上,担当了他们一切的罪。以色列人后期历史中,记有把这羊在旷野中从高岩掷落而死的事。慈爱的神愿意洁净人的罪,忧伤痛悔的心为祂所喜悦。

16:24 放了活羊之后,大祭司为自己和百姓献上“自己的燔祭和百姓的燔祭”。因属燔祭,献的方法前面已有详细规定,所以不作说明;但给神的那一部分,也就是祭牲的脂油,一定要留给神,焚烧在坛上。放羊的人,因为与众人的罪接触了,所以在仪文上不洁,须洗身后才可再进营。本节所提的两种燔祭为赎罪日最后的献祭,大祭司须先把进圣所穿的衣服脱去,在圣处洗身,再穿上平时的祭司服出来,才可献祭。一种燔祭用公绵羊(3节),是为自己的罪献上;一种燔祭也是用公绵羊(5节),为众人献上。

16:29 “刻苦己心”包括认罪、蒙灰、祷告,还可能有禁食。

张保罗查经《利未记》第17章   

17:1 本章为《利未记》1-7章的条例的补充,和16章紧密相连,讲述与祭牲和牲血有关的四种情况,特别说明血的意义和禁制。晓谕众民认清自己在献祭礼仪中的地位,指示宰杀祭牲的方法,以及吃血会有的惩罚等。

17:3 3-7节讲的是有关祭牲四种情况中的第一种,禁止百姓未将牛羊献给神前擅加宰杀,犯者要从民中“剪除”。“流血的罪”指杀人的罪,为旧约通用的一个名词。立此法的目的,是要求在营内外宰杀牛羊的人,先把牛羊作平安祭献给神。神和祭司都可以得到应有的那一份(3:1-17;7:11-18),杀牲的人也可以藉此提醒自己:食物来自赐百物的神。然后,他和家人、朋友才可以吃所杀的牛羊。

此法的另一目的是防止以色列人拜偶像。杀牲祭神为中东风俗,为免百姓仿效当地拜偶像之风(参出32:1-6),一切宰杀必须在祭司的监督下进行。此例大概实行在旷野生活时期,以色列人进入迦南后,居住分散,很难再把牛羊运到圣所宰杀,定例有了修订(参申12:20-28)。

17:7 “鬼魔”原文作公山羊。埃及人和若干古代民族膜拜公山羊,视之为旷野的鬼魔。以色列人在埃及时一定也曾参与这一类的偶像崇拜(书24:14),神要他们与这些迷信风俗隔绝,成为在文化上独特的民族。

17:8 8-9节为第二种情况的法例,禁止在会幕以外的地方献祭。牛羊的宰杀与奉献必须在圣洁的地方,以防止有人祭祀偶像。此例在百姓进入迦南地的初期未有全面实行。

17:10 10-12节为第三种情况的法例,说明禁止吃血的理由。宰杀动物必须先把血放了或是洗净才可以吃。血中含有细胞,供应体肌生长的养料、抗生素、贺尔蒙等等,为人体健康之源。人的整个生命的确在血中。各种活物的生命也在血中(11节)。神且指定洁净的动物的血作赎罪之用。血能赎罪主要是根据以命抵命的原则(出21:23-24)。血既是生命的代表,祭牲流血是无辜生命的牺牲,以抵偿犯罪的人应受的刑罚。

17:13 本节至16节的条例为对付第四种情况而立。猎获的动物虽不能作献祭用,但这些动物的血必须放出,用土掩埋。生命来自尘土,也回到尘土。自死或被野兽撕裂的动物,因为未放血,都不可以吃(参11:39)。但寄居的与外人不受此限,新约中使徒行传15章也明确不能吃血,但是非常遗憾,很多牧师竟然宣称基督徒可以吃血。

张保罗查经《利未记》第18章   

18:1 本章至20章立法的重心为如何保持人与人间道德上的洁净,以及违反这些条例会有的后果。圣洁是一种道德的品质,反映在人格和行为上。要学效神的圣洁,仅仅机械地遵守一些仪文礼节是不够的,必须在内心和品格上有更新的样式,否则会成为耶稣所责备的法利赛人的邪恶和伪善。本节至5节揭示道德条例的基本精神,指出这些精神与其他民族的有何不同。以色列民必须遵守这里列举的典章、律例,就可以蒙福,也就是“必因此活着”的意思;因为这是神所立,应当作人的行为的唯一权威依据。

保罗在新约中用“我活着就是基督”(加2:20)当作今天信徒道德生活的最高守则。道成肉身的主基督已把属天的行为标准具体示范给世人看。

18:5 本节至18节为有关逆伦或违反人本性的男女关系的条例。婚姻为神所设立,是一切人伦关系的基础。《创世记》2:24的完美婚姻制度虽然未在希伯来人社会中完全实行(比较太19:8),但违反自然的不正常性关系,尤其是逆伦,一直受到绝对的禁止。本章及20:11-21,以及《申命记》27:20-23所禁制的罪恶,在迦南人等异教民族中流行甚广,圣经视之为“恶俗”(3节);神一再警告以色列民切勿学效。

要保持婚姻制度的纯洁,最基本的办法是严禁近亲间的结合。本章严禁近亲通婚,其中属于直系亲属的有六项;属于姻亲关系者有八项。不过所列举的都是显见的例子,其他在禁止之列但未明示的不正当关系可以类推。近亲结婚影响上代和下代,破坏完美的婚姻关系。本章所禁止的,包括合法的婚姻和婚姻以外的男女关系。

18:6 本节“你们”原文作“任何人”,并无性别之分;意译可作“你们中间任何人都不可露骨肉之亲的下体”,“露下体”就是亲近。原文无“亲近他们”字样,中译特加此句,帮助读者明白,可在下加点。全句的性别是阳性,可指男女两性。圣经中对男女私处常不直指,只用雅词婉约道出。此处的“下体”(兼指男、女私处)和他处的“肠”、“脚”、“大腿”属此例。“露下体”就是说“发生肉体关系”,特别指不属正式婚姻关系的性关系。

18:7 7至18节均属禁止乱伦的条例。犯者的处分见20章。

18:9 “生在家外”的姐妹或指非法结合所生之女。

18:12 与姑母(父亲的姐妹)结婚,在以色列民出埃及前似乎许可,例如暗兰与约基别的结合,现在则予禁止。

18:16 此禁例的唯一例外,是人死后无子,为了传宗接代。此人的兄弟可以娶他的遗孀,生子传代。此种婚姻所生的第一子一般承认为死者的合法继承人(申25:5-10)。但人不可在兄弟仍活着时娶其妻子。施洗约翰责备希律王娶其兄弟腓力已离婚的妻子,说明犹太人当时的传统虽容忍离婚,但兄或弟仍活着,兄弟不可娶其已离异的妻子。 

18:17 此处的“女儿”似指妇人与前夫所生的女儿。男人若与一妇人结合,又娶她的女儿或孙女或外孙女为妻,乃是“大恶”,因为既娶其母,她的女儿、孙女等都是“骨肉之亲”,法例严禁亲近。

18:18 妻子未死,不可娶其姐妹,以省却许多家庭的不睦。雅各娶利亚和拉结二姐妹可作殷鉴(创29:23-30)。

18:19 女人行经,因仪文上不洁,不可以亲近她,条例已见15:24。现在的条例视此举有违道德。犯者严予惩处(20:18)

18:20 奸淫指已婚或已订婚的女子与不是自己的丈夫发生关系,依法须判处死刑(20:10)。男人与他人的妻子行淫,玷污自己,成为不洁,早为《十诫》所禁止,此处明令禁制。“邻舍”为广义,指所有接触到的人。

18:21 “摩洛”是迦南人所拜的神祇,祭祀摩洛的方式虽有不同说法,但确有以儿童作火祭的事。一说将儿童抛入烈焰中献神,另一说认为摩洛像用金属铸成,烧至赤热,然后将祭神的童子放在其臂上灼死。这种异教不人道的祭祀,为神颁的条例所绝对禁止。

18:22 中东自古即有同性恋的记载。同性间的苟合且是米所波大米祭祀节目中的一部分。圣经中曾提到所多玛城居民中男色之风。同性苟合之事,圣经严禁,视为可憎恶,犯者处极刑(20:13)。新约时代,保罗曾严斥此种行为。

18:24 迦南人的淫邪信仰,导致荒乱的道德生活,用杂交、与兽淫合、逆伦、同性苟合来敬祀自己的神祇;而这正是神不容许存留在人类社会中的罪恶(创19:13),因此当迦南人罪恶满盈后,便将他们逐出灭尽。

18:25 凡违反本章有关两性关系的条例的人,不只玷污了本身,也玷污了居住之地。道德上的不洁净能破坏神与人的关系,居住在被玷染了的土地上的人要被赶出(28节)。就象后来以色列民被赶出故土,沦为强敌手上的俘虏,受苦异国一样。

18:29 凡行了这种可憎的事的人必被剪除。也就是与所立的约无份,或被处死,或被赶逐。

张保罗查经《利未记》第19章   

19:1 本章详述道德、法律、祭祀及精神生活的规范,共分16小段,每段都用“我是耶和华”一语作结。犹太学者认为本章内容乃十诫的副产物,包含相对应的条文:第一、二诫见4节,第三诫见12节,四、五诫见3节,第六诫见16节,第七诫见29节,第八、九诫各见11及16节,第十诫见18节。

19:3 孝敬父母(第五诫)与敬拜神守安息日(第四诫)在本节中同时提出。父母是天父在地上的代表,应受到充分的尊敬。新约中重述此命令(弗6:1-4;提前5:4)。比较20:9。不问父母的出身或社会地位,不问他们的身体与精神状况如何,子女一律须敬而爱之。这是做人最重要的责任和义务。新约把守安息日用守主日(七日的第一日)取代,信徒每周有一天可以和其他信徒一同交通敬拜神,思想自己的生活有没有达到神所要求的圣洁。敬父母是尊敬神在地上的履行。

19:5 本节至8节重申本书3:1;7:15-18所定献祭应遵守的条例,严禁献平安祭带染异教色彩。信徒应从这谆谆训诲中领悟到,敬拜神的方式须完全合乎圣经,不可染上属世的迷信或人的价值成分,否则不只亵渎神,且能招来严厉的刑罚(8节)。

19:9 9-10两节昭示:一个看重人的生命的社会,应该体现神对自己子民中穷苦人的关怀。收割的时候应在田园里留下小量谷物和果实给穷人和寄居的。参《路得记》2章有关实例。手头富足的对贫乏的有照顾的责任。《申命记》且规定借款给弟兄不可收取利息(23:19),不可拿靠以维生的磨石作抵押(24:6),都是这种精神的延伸。人人在神面前平等,信徒彼此间应充分彰显弟兄之爱。

19:15 不可基于社会或经济的理由妨碍司法的公正。审判应完全本诸公平的原则。

19:16 “搬弄是非”就是毁谤中伤,不可对人施予有形或无形的伤害。

19:18 “爱人如己”是旧约中最特出且高超的一条律法,耶稣基督引此为人伦关系的总纲。爱的对象不仅为本族人,也包括寄居的外族人。因此“爱人如己”所要求于人的是一种积极为人的态度;不可恨人,尤其不可恨自己的弟兄。恨的感情只可以用来对付恶。伸冤的权在神手中,祂会报应,人不可以血债血偿。自己寻求报复,流人的血(16节),不只公义永难伸张,且给恶者以可乘之机。圣经教导,应用爱心与忍耐对待得罪你的弟兄。主基督已为此人伦守则树立了好榜样。

19:19 不可异类配种是贯彻神的造物应各从其类的原则。希伯来人自铜器时代中期已知道选择交配的事,但此例严禁用异类的牲畜交配产生混血牛羊,以防以色列人模仿,吸取外邦宗教习俗,应用在自己的生活上,渗入本身信仰中。

  在同一块田地不用轮种的方法,而把两样搀杂的种籽施种,能使地力消耗更快,益趋贫瘠。用两样搀杂的衣料做衣服,容易产生静电,在热带地区尤其如此,不适穿着。今天穿羊毛、棉毛与人造纤维混合的料子,常有皮肤过敏的症状。这些理由都属次要,主要是要人力守对神圣洁的原则。

19:20 “婢女”是作奴仆的女子,她们在社会中的地位虽低,一样受到法律上的保护。

19:23 新种的树所结果子,头三年的禁止吃,有健全的园艺知识为根据。“如未受割礼”意即视为不洁净。果树到第四年所结果子已较成熟,应献给神;第五年开始,树上结的果子增多,成熟可供食用。

19:26 本节至28节为禁止带有异教风俗的行为,例如吃带血的肉(参17:10-14),使用法术及观兆。古代社会充满这一类的迷信,今天物质文明虽发达,人对自己的命运反失去信心,迷信复炽。在敬拜唯一真神的信徒团体中;决不容此类迷信存在。

19:27-28 将头发和胡须的周围剃光和用刀划身为异教丧仪的一部分;在身上刺花纹,可能纹上菩萨神祇的像,有损神赐人的身体的圣洁,也不荣耀神,故一律严加禁止。人的生死都出乎神,不可用任何方式去取悦已死的人。

19:29 两性关系须保持在正式婚姻体制内,婚外性行为既不圣洁,也玷污自身(来13:4)。不可要自己的女儿当娼妓,损害她女性的圣洁,也引致社会上淫乱之风。

19:32 此处将尊敬老年人和敬畏神的命令并提。老年人在东方一向受到特别的尊敬,他们的经验与智慧为社会的财富。信徒对神和对老年人都有尊敬的责任,不可轻忽。

19:35 公平是神的属性中重要的一面,应该体现在与祂立约的民中,反映在司法和工商业的守则上。用两样的尺、秤、斗、升做生意是欺骗的行为,在没有标准度量衡的古代社会中十分普遍;为圣经所严责。有一次我们公司发货时,对方少装了几十吨贵重的货物出仓库了,按理可以出门不认账,但我是基督徒,我让职工连夜翻仓清点库存,果然多出来几十的吨货物,及时归还给客户,并连夜装火车运离上海,避免是客户的重大损失

张保罗查经《利未记》第20章  20:1 本章可说是18与19章的增补,前两章列述有关人与人间行为的条例,本章则讲述违反这些条例的刑罚。处极刑的包括把儿女献给摩洛、咒骂父母、各种不正当的男女关系、交鬼等;也有些逆伦之罪,处罚不是死刑,而是无子女。

20:2 “摩洛”可参18:21。“用石头打死”为以色列人社会中最普通的死刑。 参《申命记》17:5。圣经中所记受此死刑的罪有:亵渎神(24:16)、拜偶像(申13:6-10)、不守安息日(民15:32-36)、交鬼(27节)等。所以处极刑,因为污秽了圣所,玷辱了神圣洁的名。

20:9 咒骂父母的判死刑,因为父母是神的权柄的象征,是祂在家庭中的代表,咒骂父母等于亵渎神。

20:10 10至16节的内容和18:6-23相同,只是多了刑罚的说明,故可参18章。

20:17 本节至21节所记均为淫乱罪,神要亲自刑罚。与自己的姐妹发生肉体关系,或与在经期中的女人同房,神要把他剪除。一个人要是与姨母或姑母或兄弟的妻子结婚(20,21节),男女均无后。人要是与婶母同房,二人须担当自己的罪,处罚似较“剪除”为轻。

20:21 希伯来人虽有弟续兄孀的婚姻法(申25:5-10),但只限于兄死之后才可实行;否则,律法严禁。

20:24 “流奶与蜜之地”指迦南和四周干旱的旷野相比,迦南水源充足,物产丰富,确为绿洲。

20:27 找人交鬼和行巫术的惩治条例已见6节。本节是对行巫术与交鬼的人的刑罚。因为这一类的活动不只不能光大神的圣洁,反而导民于迷信,成为鬼魔的奴隶,行此等事的人须判处死刑,用石头打死。

做神圣洁的民是极大的光荣,也负有极大的责任。如何保持圣洁,本书有清楚的规定,但正象领到永生的路一样,很窄、很难走。不过只要肯走,的确可以成为独特的蒙拣选的百姓。本书所列条例不只有关道德伦理,也涉及到个人卫生与福利,因为后者一样能影响到全体的生活。

张保罗查经《利未记》第21章

21:1 本章与次章和以前几章不同,对象不是个人,而是祭司,向他们揭示圣洁的准绳。祭司既为神的代表,对他们的要求也就高过一般人,正如圣经所说,“多给谁,就向谁多取”(路12:48)。做祭司的人必须在身体上、在仪文上无瑕疵,才能为神所接纳。

祭司因此不可接触死人,以免沾染不洁(民19:11-13),但至近的亲属例外(2-3节),因为作祭司的对自己的父母、儿女、兄弟及未出嫁的姐妹都有照顾丧事的责任(2-3节)。这里没有提到祭司的妻室,祭司与妻子既联合为一,超过至亲应可列入例外之中。

不过有职在身的大祭司,连父母之丧也不可以象俗人一样参与(21:10-12)。

21:4 本节中“从俗沾染自己”一语,意思不明确,可能指参加丧事仪式而沾染不洁,也可能指与姻亲关系的人接触而沾染不洁。前一说较可信,因上下文讲的都与丧事有关,而这丧事可能是姻亲的。《现代中文圣经》将本节意译为“他也不可因参加姻亲的葬礼污辱了自己”,当系采此解释。

21:5 剃头、剃须、划身都是异教的丧礼仪式,寓有取悦死人和所拜偶像之意。这种损及身体完美,破坏圣洁形象的举止,都在严禁之列,同时防止异教风俗进入神自己的民中。

21:6 祭司是神所选定向祂献祭的人,应比任何人更生活得圣洁。

21:7 祭司侍奉神,归神为圣,不可娶被污的女人或妓女为妻。迦南祀神风俗中的淫乱行为,决不可在与神立约的社会中出现,污辱神的圣名。神对祭司婚姻的要求比一般百姓高,因为他们世世代代作祭司,婚姻必须绝对圆满,没有瑕疵。

21:9 对祭司圣洁的要求及于家人。祭司的女儿如有不道德行为,污辱自己也污辱了父亲,刑罚是用火烧死。

21:10 本节至15节为有关大祭司参加丧礼和本身婚姻的特别条例。大祭司居丧不可示哀,连父母的遗体也不可接触,以保持他仪文上的圣洁,因为他受过膏。大祭司在婚姻上必须娶圣洁的处女,才不致玷污他的圣洁,并确保后代的纯洁。

21:17 进入圣所侍奉的祭司,应象所献的祭牲一样,在身体上没有残疾。有残疾的不可以执行献祭的事,但仍可以吃祭物。一个人的祭司身份和他担任的职务有区别,身体有残疾或瑕疵的亚伦的后裔,祭司的身份无改变,但不可以担任祭司的职务。

  这个条例可供今天教会侍奉参考:圣职只能交付给合资格的人;不够这资格的人,仍享有作神儿女敬拜和交通的权利,因为在属灵的身份上,都是神的祭司(彼前2:5)。

21:1 本章与次章和以前几章不同,对象不是个人,而是祭司,向他们揭示圣洁的准绳。祭司既为神的代表,对他们的要求也就高过一般人,正如圣经所说,“多给谁,就向谁多取”(路12:48)。做祭司的人必须在身体上、在仪文上无瑕疵,才能为神所接纳。

祭司因此不可接触死人,以免沾染不洁(民19:11-13),但至近的亲属例外(2-3节),因为作祭司的对自己的父母、儿女、兄弟及未出嫁的姐妹都有照顾丧事的责任(2-3节)。这里没有提到祭司的妻室,祭司与妻子既联合为一,超过至亲应可列入例外之中。

不过有职在身的大祭司,连父母之丧也不可以象俗人一样参与(21:10-12)。

21:4 本节中“从俗沾染自己”一语,意思不明确,可能指参加丧事仪式而沾染不洁,也可能指与姻亲关系的人接触而沾染不洁。前一说较可信,因上下文讲的都与丧事有关,而这丧事可能是姻亲的。《现代中文圣经》将本节意译为“他也不可因参加姻亲的葬礼污辱了自己”,当系采此解释。

21:5 剃头、剃须、划身都是异教的丧礼仪式,寓有取悦死人和所拜偶像之意。这种损及身体完美,破坏圣洁形象的举止,都在严禁之列,同时防止异教风俗进入神自己的民中。

21:6 祭司是神所选定向祂献祭的人,应比任何人更生活得圣洁。

21:7 祭司侍奉神,归神为圣,不可娶被污的女人或妓女为妻。迦南祀神风俗中的淫乱行为,决不可在与神立约的社会中出现,污辱神的圣名。神对祭司婚姻的要求比一般百姓高,因为他们世世代代作祭司,婚姻必须绝对圆满,没有瑕疵。

21:9 对祭司圣洁的要求及于家人。祭司的女儿如有不道德行为,污辱自己也污辱了父亲,刑罚是用火烧死。

21:10 本节至15节为有关大祭司参加丧礼和本身婚姻的特别条例。大祭司居丧不可示哀,连父母的遗体也不可接触,以保持他仪文上的圣洁,因为他受过膏。大祭司在婚姻上必须娶圣洁的处女,才不致玷污他的圣洁,并确保后代的纯洁。

21:17 进入圣所侍奉的祭司,应象所献的祭牲一样,在身体上没有残疾。有残疾的不可以执行献祭的事,但仍可以吃祭物。一个人的祭司身份和他担任的职务有区别,身体有残疾或瑕疵的亚伦的后裔,祭司的身份无改变,但不可以担任祭司的职务。

张保罗查经《利未记》第22章   

22:1 本节至9节为提醒祭司而设,他们也象百姓一样,可以成为仪文上不洁净的人。替百姓献祭的人必须洁净,若玷污了自己,决不可以亲近祭物,否则要因玷污圣物、圣所而被剪除。他们应以一种戒慎戒惧“远离”(2节)的态度来对待圣物,以免因自己不洁而招来亵渎的刑罚。这种刑罚是“担罪而死”,比一般百姓犯不洁的罪厉害得多,因为祭司的责任比百姓大得多。

22:10 不但祭司本身要圣洁,连他的家人也应圣洁。只有祭司家中的人才可以吃祭肉,不属祭司家族的外人、寄居的、雇用的工人,都不可吃。但被“买”的仆人和生在他家里的人,都算为家庭的一分子,便可以吃。

22:12 祭司的女儿和普通人结婚,便不再属祭司家里人,不可吃祭司的食物;但若丈夫已死或与丈夫离婚又没有子女,回到父家,她的家人一分子的权利也恢复。

22:17 祭司须注意不让有残疾的牲畜当作祭物献上。凡是让祭司不能供职的残疾,同样适用于祭牲(22,24节)。但祭牲只属发育不全仍可接纳,不过只限作甘心祭用(23节)。

22:26 动物不到八天大,不可当作供物(参出22:30)。不问是献祭或自吃,母牛与母羊不可在同日与所生的小牛或小羊同宰。这与不可从鸟窝中连母带蛋或雏一道取去(申22:6)的立法精神一致,带有人道和实际的理由:留下母的可以延续生命,照顾幼儿(申22:7)。这条例也可能有防止异教杀牲的风俗进入民中的作用。

22:30 感谢祭的祭物,象逾越节的一样,要当天吃掉(出34:25);但平安祭的祭物可以留到第二天(7:16)。

22:1 本节至9节为提醒祭司而设,他们也象百姓一样,可以成为仪文上不洁净的人。替百姓献祭的人必须洁净,若玷污了自己,决不可以亲近祭物,否则要因玷污圣物、圣所而被剪除。他们应以一种戒慎戒惧“远离”(2节)的态度来对待圣物,以免因自己不洁而招来亵渎的刑罚。这种刑罚是“担罪而死”,比一般百姓犯不洁的罪厉害得多,因为祭司的责任比百姓大得多。

22:10 不但祭司本身要圣洁,连他的家人也应圣洁。只有祭司家中的人才可以吃祭肉,不属祭司家族的外人、寄居的、雇用的工人,都不可吃。但被“买”的仆人和生在他家里的人,都算为家庭的一分子,便可以吃。

22:12 祭司的女儿和普通人结婚,便不再属祭司家里人,不可吃祭司的食物;但若丈夫已死或与丈夫离婚又没有子女,回到父家,她的家人一分子的权利也恢复。

22:17 祭司须注意不让有残疾的牲畜当作祭物献上。凡是让祭司不能供职的残疾,同样适用于祭牲(22,24节)。但祭牲只属发育不全仍可接纳,不过只限作甘心祭用(23节)。

22:26 动物不到八天大,不可当作供物(参出22:30)。不问是献祭或自吃,母牛与母羊不可在同日与所生的小牛或小羊同宰。这与不可从鸟窝中连母带蛋或雏一道取去(申22:6)的立法精神一致,带有人道和实际的理由:留下母的可以延续生命,照顾幼儿(申22:7)。这条例也可能有防止异教杀牲的风俗进入民中的作用。

22:30 感谢祭的祭物,象逾越节的一样,要当天吃掉(出34:25);但平安祭的祭物可以留到第二天(7:16)。

张保罗查经《利未记》第23章  

23:1 本章列举以色列民的宗教节期,包括逾越、七七(又名五旬)和住棚三大节。这张名单是为祭司而准备,但也是给全体百姓的。从守安息日开始,而以住棚节的欢乐结束。

23:2 以色列人每年要守的节期一共七个,叫做“耶和华的节期”,与安息日有别(3节)。

以色列人有宗教历和民事历两种历法,宗教历以“尼散月”(阳历三、四月间)开始,尼散月为正月(出12:2)。民事历从“提斯利月”(阳历九、十月间)开始,以提斯利月为正月,“耶和华的节期”依宗教历法计算,都在宗教历的头七个月之内举行。有关各节期献祭的规例可参《民数记》28-29章。

23:3 “安息日”可参《出埃及记》16:23;20:8;23:12的经文和注解。安息日要加献两只公羊羔为燔祭,平时每天一只便够了。“安息日”到新约已为主日代替,成为信徒敬拜的日子。

23:4 逾越节是以色列民一年中的第一个宗教节期,在尼散月(正月)十四日晚举行。这是一个纪念性的节期,纪念以色列民在逾越节那天得赎离开埃及(出12:1-28)。正月相当于三至四月间,为春季的首月,是大麦收获的季节。

23:6 无酵节在尼散月(犹太人用历的正月)十五日开始,为期七日。在节期中,以色列人要把一切有酵之物除尽,吃无酵饼。

这节期表明人与神的联合,在救赎的恩典中过圣洁的生活。逾越节在先,表明信徒是先得着救赎;无酵节在后,说明有了救赎然后去过圣洁的生活(比较林前5:6-8;林后7:1)。

23:10 初熟节在尼散月(正月)十六日举行,百姓此时开始收割大麦。初熟节和无酵节在同一个星期内。

新约作者用“初熟”的果子比喻基督和信徒的生活。信徒是圣灵初熟的果子(罗8:23);犹太人是教会中初熟的果子(罗11:16);信徒是福音工作上初熟的果子(罗16:5);基督是复活者初熟的果子(林前15:20);重生信徒是万物中初熟的果子(雅1:18)。

初熟节的献祭仪式,把收获之物一捆献在神面前,承认神才是全地庄稼的真正赐予者。

23:15 七七节从收割初熟庄稼之后起计,共七个星期,故称七七节(申16:9-12)。新约称此节为“五旬节”, 是“五十天”的意思(16节)。七七节庆祝时已到夏季,在收获季节之末,为大家欢乐地庆祝丰收的日子(出23:16;民28:26)。这个节期只有一天(申16:9-12)。

新约教会在耶稣升天后的第一个五旬节建立(徒2章)。圣灵在这一天浇灌在门徒身上。

23:17 七七节为感恩的节期,要献上两个有酵的饼,这种饼为民间日常食物,表明将丰收所得先归给神。此节又称“收割节”。

23:23 吹角节在宗教历的七月一日举行,是“圣安息日”(24节),要吹角通知百姓会聚(民10:10),当众宣读摩西五经,是一个欢乐的日子。这天也是犹太民事历一年之始,被掳归回后,吹角节也就是元旦日,角声响遍全国迎新年。

23:26 “七”在希伯来人的观念上属完整且吉庆的数字,民事历七月份除了第一日为吹角节也就是新年元旦之后,第十日也是一年的一个大日,叫做“赎罪日”。本书16章对此有详细记述,不过是为祭司而写。此处所记(26-32节)乃为一般百姓而写,明确述说他们的责任与义务。大祭司只有这天可以进入至圣所献祭,为全民赎罪,民众要“刻苦己心”,可能举行禁食等等,为一年中无意或疏忽而犯的罪在神面前反省,由大祭司献上赎罪之祭。

23:34 “住棚节”又名“收藏节”(39节)。以色列人守节时要住在棕榈枝、柳树和其他树枝搭的帐棚中(42-43节),因此得名。此节在宗教历第七个月的十五日开始,为期七天,是七月份举行的第三个节期,纪念以色列人蒙救赎离开埃及在旷野以帐篷为居所(43节)。因节期正值秋收,是欢乐的日子,所献祭牲达189只之多。

张保罗查经《利未记》第24章   

24:1 本章讲两件事,一是有关圣所管理的条例,一是有关亵渎的一个实例。这件事可能在神给了摩西有关圣油和陈设饼之后不久发生,因为按此书写法,实例总是随同条例一道出现。

24:2 灯台和陈设饼的桌子都放在会幕圣所内。灯台上有灯七盏(出25:31-40),在会幕内长燃不熄,用清橄榄油为燃料(出27:20-21)。圣所靠此灯照明。大祭司是最早点亮此灯的人,每天负责“经理这灯”,有其他祭司协助。有的解经家认为此灯台为以色列的代表,要他们成为古代中东各国的光。不过照亮外邦人的真光则是主基督,信徒有责任在日常生活中彰显基督救恩之光。

24:5 “陈设饼”虽在《出埃及记》25:23-30提及,但详细的记述则在本章5-9节。这十二个饼每隔七天更换一次,换饼在安息日举行(8节)。祭司可以在圣处吃换下来的饼,但他们家里的人不可以。有人说把净乳香放在饼上(7节)象征祈祷,求神给百姓日用的饮食(参太6:11);有人说十二个饼代表以色列人十二支派,要他们纪念所得福气,来自供应丰富的神。

24:10 这件案发生在西奈。一个未记下姓名的男子(埃及男子和以色列妇人所生)在营中与人口角,出言亵渎神名,当时尚无惩治亵渎的规律,所以把此人逮捕处决。这里特地记下母亲的名字和谱系(11节),是要让后来的人知道她是谁,要做母亲的注意:教养子女学习敬畏神是她们的责任。

  此人的父亲虽为埃及人,但在司法范围内,外国人与土生的以色列人同等对待(22节)。

24:20 本节提出了一个刑罚的原则:“以伤还伤,以眼还眼,以牙还牙”。也就是刑罚与所犯的罪相抵,不可过分。杀人的人应处死,打死牲畜的要赔偿。此例适用一切人,不分种族,不分外人与本地人(22节)。“同归一例”,神的律法前,人人平等。

24:1 本章讲两件事,一是有关圣所管理的条例,一是有关亵渎的一个实例。这件事可能在神给了摩西有关圣油和陈设饼之后不久发生,因为按此书写法,实例总是随同条例一道出现。

24:2 灯台和陈设饼的桌子都放在会幕圣所内。灯台上有灯七盏(出25:31-40),在会幕内长燃不熄,用清橄榄油为燃料(出27:20-21)。圣所靠此灯照明。大祭司是最早点亮此灯的人,每天负责“经理这灯”,有其他祭司协助。有的解经家认为此灯台为以色列的代表,要他们成为古代中东各国的光。不过照亮外邦人的真光则是主基督,信徒有责任在日常生活中彰显基督救恩之光。

24:5 “陈设饼”虽在《出埃及记》25:23-30提及,但详细的记述则在本章5-9节。这十二个饼每隔七天更换一次,换饼在安息日举行(8节)。祭司可以在圣处吃换下来的饼,但他们家里的人不可以。有人说把净乳香放在饼上(7节)象征祈祷,求神给百姓日用的饮食(参太6:11);有人说十二个饼代表以色列人十二支派,要他们纪念所得福气,来自供应丰富的神。

24:10 这件案发生在西奈。一个未记下姓名的男子(埃及男子和以色列妇人所生)在营中与人口角,出言亵渎神名,当时尚无惩治亵渎的规律,所以把此人逮捕处决。这里特地记下母亲的名字和谱系(11节),是要让后来的人知道她是谁,要做母亲的注意:教养子女学习敬畏神是她们的责任。此人的父亲虽为埃及人,但在司法范围内,外国人与土生的以色列人同等对待(22节)。

24:20 本节提出了一个刑罚的原则:“以伤还伤,以眼还眼,以牙还牙”。也就是刑罚与所犯的罪相抵,不可过分。杀人的人应处死,打死牲畜的要赔偿。此例适用一切人,不分种族,不分外人与本地人(22节)。“同归一例”,神的律法前,人人平等。

张保罗查经《利未记》第25章   

25:1 本章继续第23章讲圣日节期的定例,但把安息日的原则延伸到第七年,定为安息年(3-7节),和第七个七年,也就是叫做“禧年”的第五十年(8-17节)。

25:3 在“安息年”的定例中,土地要六年用来出产农作物,但到第七年须停止耕耘。设立安息年的目的有:1,让劳作者得到休息(4节);2,让贫苦寄居者得到粮食(5节);3,让土地自身得到休息与调节,不致过分使用(7节);4,希伯来仆人得着自由(出21:2);5,以色列百姓可温习律法(申31:10-13)。

25:8-17 “禧年”可直译为“羊角之年”,因这年以吹羊角为号。禧年在经过七个安息年之后的第五十年举行,在“赎罪日”当天吹羊角来宣布禧年的开始。

设立“禧年”表示土地为神所有;在这一年,所有奴仆可得释放,土地也归回本主,故又称为“自由之年”(结46:17)、“救赎之年”(赛63:4)、“耶和华的恩年”(赛61:2)。

禧年是完美正义社会的理想,耶稣基督宣告说,禧年的福气已应验在福音的救赎里(路4:18-21)。说明以色列的社会未曾真正遵行禧年的定例。

25:15 在以色列社会中,土地的售卖其实只是租赁。到禧年时便期满归还。

25:20 禧年不得耕种,只可吃地中自出的土产(12节),粮食供应便成了重要问题。特别禧年来到的头一年一定是安息年,又是不可耕种之年,使问题更为严重。神在这里应许分外的丰收,足够用到禧年过后,田地可以再有收成为止。这是一个信心操练之年,对神供应的大能须有极大的信心;也是给穷人与债户生活更新的机会之年。土地有了休息,生产力得以提高,是古代有计划保存地力和注意生态循环的好例子。

有人指出,禧年消除社会阶级的划分,使富有的地主没有剥削穷人的机会,立法用意良善;但似乎未能真正实行,《以赛亚书》5:8和《阿摩司书》2:6,在主前八世纪,对此同表哀叹。

25:23 在以色列人社会中,田地不可永卖,因为最终业权在神手中。神将田地赐给人,自祖宗传给子孙保管,子孙不可出卖(但房屋可以,参29-30节)。人因贫穷把田地卖了,近亲要帮他赎回,以保障弱小的家族不被剥削(民36:7-10),贫民也不受欺负。在以色列人历史中,连君王也不可违背这条立法(参王上21:3-4)。

25:35-46 这些属于保障社会中贫穷人的律法:1,富有者不可放贷取利(36节),其目的不在禁止利息,而在帮助贫苦人。律法并不禁止借贷。但基本精神鼓励有力量者多多施舍。2,本地人不可被卖为奴(39-46;申24:7)。主人可从外面买回奴仆,但要明白自己是神的仆人,因此对奴仆应宽大(43节)。

这些法例说明,社会平等植基于道德与精神的健全原则上。禧年的基本精神也就是安息日与安息年的精神,确认神对人的权柄,以及祂的慈爱与救赎。先知以赛亚所预言的以色列的拯救,在基督的事工上实现。耶稣传道的第一篇讲道,就是宣读《以赛亚书》61:1关于禧年的那几节(路4:18-19)。人能脱离罪的捆绑,过人的生活,有做神子女的尊严,是基督为人类牺牲所结果实。

25:49 “赎”字希伯来文为goel, 为一专用语,指一个人尽至近亲属本份,在必要时履行几种义务:1,替卖身为奴或卖田地无力赎回的亲属赎身或赎田(25,47-49节);2,近亲若无子嗣承受产业,要娶他的遗孀;所生长子归在近亲名下(申25:5-10);3,为无故受害的亲人报仇(35:9-28)。至近亲属包括兄弟、叔伯或堂兄弟。路得与波阿斯的史事可为“赎”的一例。

张保罗查经《利未记》第26章  26:1 本章宣告以色列民须遵照神的律法生活,以免灾祸;内容与《申命记》28-30章大致相同。这里讲到的灾祸有:1,败在敌人手中;2,土地没有出产;3,野兽为害人民;4,瘟疫、痨病等;5,饥荒;6,人民因饥饿以致易子而食。这些刑罚在以色列人历史上屡见不鲜,为离弃神的教训招来的后果。耶稣时代,以色列人拒绝弥赛亚救主,主耶稣预言他们必遭刑罚。罗马军队在主后70年进攻耶路撒冷,把圣城夷为平地。  

可防阻迦南风俗的侵蚀。26:3 本节至13节宣告一连串福分,包括个人的平安,全民的繁荣和神的同在。有神同在,生活也就有了力量,成为世世代代蒙福之源(参赛11:1-16)。主基督升天前,保证会继续与门徒同在,到世界的末了,祂今天也与一切信祂的人同在。

26:5 谨守神的训诲的一个祝福,是土地的丰收。巴勒斯坦地,大、小麦在阳历十至十一月间播种,三、四月间收割大麦,五月收割小麦。葡萄在每年十一月剪枝,翌年八月收摘。“打粮食”指大、小麦的收割,“打粮食”由三月(大麦)、五月(小麦)开始,要打到摘葡萄的时候(八月);摘葡萄(由八月开始)要摘到大小麦撒种的时候。说明一年到头,田间出产丰收,来不及收割。

26:10 粮食丰富,用之不尽,挪开陈粮用新粮。

26:14 本节至39节为违背神的典章律例所受的灾祸。

26:19 天不降时雨,地不出土产;天要如铁,不降雨;地要如铜,农作失收,人人白白劳力,得不到物产。这都是神对不听从者的刑罚。

26:32 以色列民若仍不听从,所住之地要成为荒场。此事在主前587年应验,犹太亡国,全民被掳往巴比伦。神是慈爱的,也是公义的,不守西奈山与神立约的民,要分散在列邦中,城邑变为荒凉。

26:42 神仍眷顾祂的百姓,答应“要纪念这地”。以色列民经历被掳的苦痛和分散的刑罚之后,有了悔悟,主前539年,也是被掳70年后,由所罗巴伯带领“余民”归回圣地(拉1-2章)。主耶稣教训人,天父如何喜悦痛悔的心,说“一个罪人悔改,在天上也要为他欢喜”(路15:7)。

26:43 迦南地为立约中重要的一部分,是神应许赐给以色列人为业之地,需要时间恢复地力。以色列人被逐,地可享受安息。神虽重罚不听话的人民,责任不在神,而是咎由自取,因为破坏圣约的是他们。神一再警告无效,只有收回已赐的一切,让好不容易得享的自由重又失去,再为人奴。本章所列的刑罚虽为预防而设,若一旦果真实现,神仍会纪念所立之约(44节),因祂爱自己的选民。用刑罚的目的是管教,却非厌弃,更非将之完全灭绝。

张保罗查经《利未记》第27章   

27:1 本书最后一章讲许愿和奉献的条例。许愿作的奉献有实物,例如献自己、家人或奴仆给神,献牲畜的供物,以及献上房屋和土地等;也可以用金钱代替实物,不过须照估价加五分之一。

  估价的标准按圣所的平估,一个男人值五十舍客勒银子,银子付给祭司,为圣所的经费。女人许愿侍奉,估定为三十舍客勒,可能因体力不若男子。五至二十岁的人,男子二十舍客勒,女子十舍客勒。女人在圣所中可协助祭司做非祭祀性的工作。

至于更年幼的男童与女童,在许愿期间可在圣所中学习侍奉。穷人许愿但付不起费用,祭司可按他的经济能力减少。

许愿是十分庄严的事,必须慎重,所以一再告诫不可轻誓(参申23:21-23);一旦许愿,必须完成。

27:28-29 “永献”与“当灭”在希伯来文均用同一字,指归与神不能取回之物。在以色列人历史上,神指定某些战利品或俘虏要完全归祂,人不可占有(书6:17)。“永献”与人奉献给神的有别;亚干的罪招神烈怒,正是因为取了永献之物(书7:10-26)。

27:30 什一奉献有悠久的宗教传统(参创14:20;28:22),是人将自己从创造主所领受的归还给祂,以示感谢和尊崇。旧约律法中提到三种什一奉献:1,从每年的出产中拿十分之一奉献给利未人(30-33节;民18:21);2,在节期庆典中为之,奉献的人可享受所献的东西(申14:22-27);3,每三年奉献一次的什一奉献,用以周济穷人(申14:28-29)。第三种可能为一种募集的什一之捐,也可能就是第二种。

27:34 这些命令列举了人、畜和财产献给神用的条件,防阻人不洁的举止污损神的圣洁。本章对许愿和奉献的动机异常看重,不希望有人过分热衷以致不能履行。有些人许了愿,时间一长,热心减低,或环境有异,以致难以实现。这里的立法也照顾到人情,准许捐出之物在若干情况下可以赎回。

新约要求信徒信守对神的诺言,包括献身侍奉、婚约、受洗归主等,破坏誓约有如扶着犁向后看,不配进神的国(路9:62)。答应一生奉献给神,同时信守这承诺,最为圣洁完全的神所悦纳。

本节也证明《利未记》的作者为摩西。

Testimony…

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I often feel that the world is full of people looking out the window.

They all had a common look on their faces, empty and disappointed. Like a tired mask. When I look out the window, I seem to be indifferent to everything I see, and I am indifferent to what I see. Any streetscape is like a frivolous cloud, drifting in and out, without attracting the slightest attention from them. In their blank eyes, what they see is emptiness, and what they can’t see is trembling—a tremor that we forcibly suppress within each of us. One issue of the Times magazine published its famous cover story, “The Death of God,” which mentioned that God was not a problem and was not in danger. Prayer is the center of death, and the problem is the death of prayer. It seems that although modern people are busy pursuing spiritual things, praying to God, worshiping Buddha, burning incense, and making wishes, many of them are only attracted by the divine phantom. Some people reach out and cry out for a great desire in their hearts, but more often they are cynical atheists. We are no longer simply reaching out and praying for divine contact. So God did not die, but people no longer sought God. Yet, the tremors are still there and always will be. That’s why there is so much sorrow and helplessness in the world. But if we seek it earnestly with trembling, it is not that there is no way to ask for help. Martin Buber once said, “All men can come to God, but every man has a different entrance. Our greatest opportunity lies in our differences. God’s fullness is manifested in the infinite possible ways to reach Him. Each of these methods is open to a certain person. For years, I sought with a desire, not knowing that God was leading me to Him through my different needs—identity, family, or belonging.

It was through these nostalgias and longings in love that I finally realized that there was a longing within me, a desire for something greater than me, or a power to satisfy me. It’s the hunger and deep needs of a family, friends, and oneself that can’t be satisfied. It was with that sense of powerlessness that I began to lift my eyes to God. So I experienced that believing in God makes it hard to stay at the level of knowledge. All the answers to life come with a certain passion that touches our deep depths.

Paradoxically, while we yearn for Him in every bone of our body, longing is sometimes the greatest obstacle to drawing closer to God. We are afraid that we will create a god out of our desires, as Voltaire said, “If God does not exist, we must create Him.” But many facts prove that when falsehood arises, we have to abandon it after temporary gratification. Then, we have to face the anguish of the next pursuit. Sooner or later, we will find that what we desire is not a subjective experience that we can have in our existing plane. So C. S. Lewis said, “Longing itself is proof of God’s existence. Therefore, it is painful for intellectuals to pursue God with arguments. Since longing exists in the heart, how can it be solved with the mind? That’s a kind of heart-to-heart questioning. A prompt, a wake-up, sometimes tight and sometimes loose. But it is a real force, not vague, not seeming, but a kind of insistent truth, insisting that you face and listen. Then seek. But knowing the Lord is such a humble experience. It is like walking through a dark and secluded path, without romance and beauty, only to see your soul painful and rotten. At that moment, for the first time, I wanted to escape the pain of my soul, and I wanted to do something sharply and urgently, and it was a heart-piercing pain. At the same time, it is mixed with joy, like first love, and the heart is full of infinite joy. It is also the first mourning, a deep feeling of what a spirit of sorrow and contrite is. Originally, my knowledge of sin was always on the outside. I feel that all battles are fought in the universe of the outside world. It is the people who bear the people, and the people who bear me.

After knowing God, I realized that the greatest battle between good and evil in the world is still in the heart of man, in the depths of my heart. But this discovery made my heaven and earth tilt suddenly. All at once pushed me out into the sea from the shores I had been familiar with. And all my struggles in the sea can not be swept aside by intellect and reason. It was a reversal of life, an inner crisis, and I had to think deeply inside me that I had never faced before. also met his abyss naked for the first time, without concealment or escape. This struggle with self was the first time in my life, but it was by no means the last time on the path of faith. Of course, there will be uneasiness, because it will have to be cut off from all the familiar emotions of the past. Resolutely, unties the cable and releases the boat, enters the unknown sea, and does not know when he will be able to land again. But there is an honesty in the face of one’s sin. To face oneself without running away from it is also necessary to have a kind of illumination. The important thing is that at a certain point in the struggle, a critical point will suddenly be crossed, and in an instant, all resistance and doubts will turn into peace and obedience. In a flash, the light boat has passed the ten thousand mountains.

Looking back on myself, although I was born into a Catholic family, I have a little concept of God and a little foundation in Bible stories, but I have never actively sought to know the Lord of the universe. Unconsciously, faith was lost in my life. But faith is not the same thing, which can be lost, like losing a key or a purse. To lose the true meaning of faith is to stop using faith to shape one’s life. Wandering around, without roots and bottoms, I live like a homeless child living at home, and I don’t know my father, Heavenly Father. Eventually, I became an “outsider” of the faith, living in despair and loss. But it is clear that God has not given up on me, and He has set up clues for me to search all the way home if I change my mind one day.

I remember the day after I was baptized and the day after I “went home,” a classmate called me and asked me how I felt. Once, he and I took the same position and criticized the thriving effect of this overseas Bible study school, all because of nostalgia and recognition, so a bunch of people got together to keep warm.

At that time, I didn’t understand that I only had a “human” perspective and a narrow and shallow view of spiritual things. He must have wondered, how did I “brainwash” all at once? What I said and did was like those Christians, and I was here for real? At the time, all I could say on the phone was, “Good, I feel good now!” The words were abhorrent to the point of abhorrence. But how can I explain that the new mood is really like the spring rain and the new green, the world that I look out of my eyes is full of halos, even if the place where I live is still lonely, and the people I care about have no other arms. The external situation has not improved in the slightest, but there is a constant stream of joy flowing out of the world. How do I explain that the boundless sense of loss has disappeared in an instant, and the view of life has changed from gloomy to hopeful and that after a day, a month, a year, and another year, it will still be deeply moving? How can I explain that my belief in the Lord is not because of fear of death, but because of anxiety about life? There are two paths in front of my eyes, one that seems difficult and impossible, but gives me the strength to live.

The other is easy to look at, with no need to change, but there is hopelessness and helplessness. Is it necessary to choose the most important and avoid the light? These are all superficial when placed in words, but after being reflected in life with time, they show the weight of perseverance like a mountain and a long stream of water. The transformation of life cannot be done in two or three sentences! However, life has been completely turned upside down. * Not long after I came to faith, I was faced with the question of my future. Work, identity, and where to go? is a problems that all overseas travelers face, but every time they face it is fragile. Some people can’t find a job, so they have to go on with one degree after another, master’s degree, doctorate, or post-doctorate. Some people can live in a lonely small city that is out of the dust, and they can’t turn over for a few years. Coupled with the single status, the world is so big, and it seems that there is nowhere to live. Now, however, I find that feeling of panic gone. I learned to give and pray.

So on the one hand, I actively threw away my autobiography and looked for a job, and on the other hand, I felt that if I couldn’t find it, I would do well if I stayed at Purdue University in the Midwest of the United States. It is a sense of certainty and steadfastness about the unknown life. It wasn’t long before I heard back from Hughes Aircraft in California who asked me for an interview. In the midst of this, I learned to pray and throw stones to ask for directions. Sure enough, it didn’t take long to get the offer. However I didn’t expect to apply for status for work, and when I pulled out my diplomatic status documents for eight years in the U.S. State Department, I was surprised to find that my status had already expired. Suddenly, I became an illegal immigrant! The mistake was entirely because when my parents left, they were young, they didn’t care about anything, and they didn’t have any idea about identity documents, so they were delayed.

This is a major matter of survival in the United States! At that time, I had everything packed and ready for work, and my apartment was surrounded by walls. I sat in a pile of cardboard boxes and thought about my way out. It’s strange, obviously like a refugee, but the bottom of my heart is very calm. I know that there are thousands, tens of thousands of illegal immigrants in the United States, and they still breathe the American air, work and live as ordinary people. There are still roads, but the question is how do I go by myself? When I consulted with a Bible study counselor at the time, he mentioned that since he was a Christian, “illegality” was never a good testimony. Therefore, it is best to follow the legal route to see how to change from illegal to legal. Yes, so I contacted Hughes to see if there was anyway. The company replied that it would ask a lawyer. Alas, people are superficial, who is the company that has to pay the price, to fight for to stay? During the waiting period, the future is uncertain, but the fire of the first letter held me up, and there has always been a kind of peace in my heart. In between, a friend committed suicide and was hospitalized. Thinking that his belief in the Lord was also because of his love, he volunteered to go to the hospital to take care of her and explain his faith to her, hoping to pull her out of emotional confusion. Every day, I go out early and return late, almost forgetting that I still have unresolved matters. One day, when Fang returned home, an immigration officer came to the door. Take out a notice of deportation. This is very fatal for illegal immigrants. At that time, I was unusually calm, thinking to myself, that I had just passed through a ghost gate life and death struggle, and nothing in this world could scare me anymore.

But strangely, the six-foot-tall, blonde-haired, white-dressed immigration officer was so kind that he offered to tell me, “Don’t be afraid, you have a lot to do. For example, Hughes can help you get it back. Then he got in touch with Hughes’s lawyer on the phone, and the two of them were very pleasant. After hanging up the phone, he stressed that most people have a misconception of immigration officers, thinking that they are all cross-eyed and will carry illegal immigrants by the collar and rudely throw them out of the country. But in fact, they are very polite and have a process for doing things, so don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid. This sounded familiar, and then I remembered that it was in the Bible that an angel appeared to Mary. An immigration officer who deported me behaved like an angel? It’s grace, I know. So leaving the country is inevitable.

The world is so big, where can I go? After some thought, I chose to go back to Taiwan. After going abroad for eight years, I didn’t know that I was a guest in my dreams. I often dream that I am in Taiwan, but when I wake up, I find that I am still in a foreign land, which is very sad. Can a dream that cannot be fulfilled in eight years take shape under such circumstances? I know that this is also the fulfillment of God. However, many well-meaning friends advised me to think twice, and if I said it, I might not be able to come back, especially in Taiwan.

Is it that you can’t come back? Is it important? For a Christian, as long as he has a Bible, where can he stay in the north and south of the country? With God’s presence? Why should I be afraid? Finally, on the day of my departure, I got on a small plane that took off from Pudu, and looked out of the small window at the land that I had lived in for three years, and little by little, it became distant. All the joys, sorrows, loves, hatreds, and hatreds that have happened in them are now far away. All the shackles and shackles are also freed. I am now a bird, and my world is a wider sky. Sighing and shifting my eyes, I looked at the sun high above the clouds, and my heart was full of infinite longing.

恩典见证 25.生…

音频 5 分钟

莫非 常觉这世上到处充满望向窗外的人。

他们脸上都有一共同神情,空洞而失望。像一疲倦的面具。望出窗外的眼神,似乎对什麽都视若无睹,对所见也无动於衷。任何街景皆似轻浮之云,飘进又飘出,引不起他们丁点注意。 在他们的呆视里,看到的是空洞,看不见的是抖颤──在我们每个人内里,一个被我们强压抑下去的抖颤。 有一期时代杂誌,刊出它著名的封面故事「上帝之死」,提到上帝说实在并不是问题,也未濒临危险。祷告才是阵亡的中心,问题应在於祷告之死亡。 好像也是,现代人虽忙著追求属灵之事,求神、拜佛、烧香、许愿,但很多只为神圣魅影给吸引。

也有人是为内心巨大渴望,给摧逼地伸手求告,但更多的是玩世不恭的无神论者。我们已不再单纯的为想与神圣接触而伸手祷告了。 所以上帝没有死亡,是人们已不再寻求上帝了。 然而,抖颤仍在,且永远都在。所以世间悲苦无奈如此多。 但若循著抖颤认真寻求起来,却并非求告无门。马丁、布伯就曾说:「所有人都可以来到神面前,但每个人都有不同的进口。我们最大的机会,就在於我们的不同。上帝的全面,就彰显在无限可能走向祂的方式中。每一个方式,都向某一个人开放。」 多年来,我怀著渴望寻求,并不知那是神在经由我不同的需要──身分、家庭、或归属感──来带领我归向祂。

也正是透过这些乡愁与在爱里的渴望,我终於了悟:在我里面有个渴望,是渴望一比我更大的东西或力量来满足我。是那样一个家人、朋友、自己都无法满足的饥饿与深层需要。也是在那样一种无力感下,我才开始举目望神。 所以我体验到相信上帝,很难只停留在知识层面。所有的生命答案,都带有某种激情来触动我们的深层内里。 但矛盾的是,虽然我们全身每一根骨头都渴求祂,但渴望,有时也是走近神的最大障碍。我们很怕是因著自己的渴望,而创造出一个神,像伏尔泰所说的:「若上帝不存在,我们便必须创造祂。」 然而许多事实證明,当虚假出现,暂时满足後我们便得抛弃。然後,又要面临下一个追求的苦恼。迟早,我们会发现我们所渴求的,不是一个我们可在现有时空中拥有的主观经验。

所以路易师说:「渴望本身,就是神存在的證明。」 也因此对知识份子来说,用辩證来追寻神是痛苦的。渴望既然存在心里,如何能用头脑来解决? 那是一种心头叩问。一个提示,一个唤醒,时紧时松。但却是一真实力量,决不模糊,也非似乎,而是一种坚持的真实,坚持著你去面对,去倾听。然後寻求。 然而认识主,是那样一个谦卑的经验。似走过一黑暗幽道,没有浪漫与美丽,只望见自己的灵魂痛苦又腐烂。在那一刻,我初次会想脱逃出自己灵魂的痛苦,尖锐、迫切的想做些什麽,那是一种扎心的痛。同时混合著喜悦,像初恋,心中充满无限地喜悦。也是初恸,深深感觉什麽是哀伤痛悔的灵。

原本对罪的认识,我总停留於外在。觉得一切争战,是在外界的宇宙中进行。是人负人,是人负我。认识神後,方使我了解世上最大的善恶之争,仍在人的内里,在我心灵深处。 但这一发现,却使我天地骤然间倾斜。一下子把我由过去熟悉的海岸给推下了海。而我在海中的所有挣扎,绝非靠智识与理智可以扫到一边。那是一种生命的翻转,一个内在危机,在我内里必须作从未曾面对过的深层思考。

也与自己的深渊初次赤裸裸地相遇,一无遮掩,也无可逃逸。 这样的与自我挣扎,可说是我生命中的初次,但却绝非信仰路上的最後一次。当然会有不安,因必须与过去所有熟悉情绪一刀切断。毅然,解缆放舟,进入未知的大海,且不知何时能再登岸。 但面对自己的罪,是一种诚实。面对自己而不逃避,也须一种光照。重要的是,挣扎到了某一刻,会忽然跨过一个临界点,瞬间,所有抵禦与疑问,会转为祥和与顺服。 一悠忽,轻舟已过万重山。

生命是如此翻转(二)

莫非 回首自己,虽出生在天主教家庭,有一点上帝观念,一点圣经故事根基,但因从未主动寻求与那宇宙中的主宰素面相识。不自觉间,信仰由我的生命中流失了。 但信仰也不是一样东西,任人可以失去,像失去一把钥匙、一个皮包。失去信仰真正的意义,便是停止用信仰来形塑自我的生活。东飘西荡,没根没底,我活的像个住在家中的流浪儿,一点不认识自己的父亲,天父。 至後来,我已渐成信仰的「外人」了,活得绝望而失落。但很明显的,上帝并未放弃我,祂为我一路预留线索,以供我有一天若改变心意,仍能搜寻著一路找回家。

犹记受洗次日,也是「回家」次日,一个同学打电话给我,问我感觉如何?我知他为什麽问。曾经我和他立於同一立场大放厥词,批评这海外查经班的兴旺效应,全缘由乡愁与认同,才一堆人聚在一起取暖。那时,我不了解我只有「人」的视野与角度,把属灵之事看得又扁又浅。 他想必好奇,我怎麽也一下给「洗脑」了?说的、作的,全像那些基督徒一样,我是来真的麽? 当时,电话上我只回说:「很好,我现感觉很好!」词彙贫穷至可憎。 但是,我如何解释那崭新心情真像春雨新绿?眼中望出去的世界处处浮有一层光晕?即使所住之处仍是孤灯独陋,所在乎之人已别有怀抱。

外界境遇并无丁点好转,然而,却不断有一股喜悦泊泊地流出? 我如何解释那种不著边际的失落感已瞬间消失,对生命看法由灰黯转为无尽希望,且过了一天、一月、一年,再一年後,仍会有深深的感动? 我更如何解释我之信主,不是因为对死亡恐惧,而是对生命不安。在我眼前摆清了两条路,一条望来艰难不可能,但赋予我生命力量。另一条望来容易,不用转变,但有绝望的无奈。选择自是必须就重避轻? 这些,置入话语中全只显得轻飘肤浅,但在生活中用时间来体现後,却显出如山坚毅,如水长流的份量。生命转变,实非可用两、叁句话语就可打发的呀! 然而生命,却就此完完全全地翻转了。

信主後没多久,我便面对前途问题。工作、身分,何去何从?是所有海外遊子会面对,却每面对都显脆弱不堪的问题。有人找不到工作,只好一个又一个学位唸下去,硕士、博士、後博士。有人为熬身分,可栖身一息影绝尘的孤清小城,一待数年不得翻身。再加上单身身分,天下之大,更显飘絮般的无处存身。 然而现在,我发现自己那种心慌感没了。

我学会交托,祷告。所以一方面积极往外丢自传,找工作,一方面又觉得若找不到,留在美国中西部的普渡大学也会过得很好。那是一种对未知生命有一种笃定与踏实的感觉。 没多久,便收到加州休斯飞机(Hughes Aircraft)公司的回音了,找我去面试。在这其中,我学会用祷告投石问路。果然没多久便顺利拿到聘约。却没想到为工作得申请身分,而一下翻出我压在美国国务院八年的外交身分文件,意外的发现我身分早已过期了。顿时,我成为一个非法移民! 错误完全出在於父母离开时,年纪轻,不管事,对身分文件太没概念,所以耽误了。

这可是在美攸关生存的大事啊! 那时,我所有东西原已打包準备上任,公寓里家徒四壁。我坐在一堆纸箱中,思索自己的出路。奇怪,明明像个难民,心底却平静的不得了。我知在美非法移民上千、上万,仍然呼吸著美国空气,工作、过日子一如常人。路其实还是有的,问题是我自己要怎麽走法? 去请教当时的查经班辅导,他提到:既然已是基督徒,「非法」绝不是一个好的见證。所以,最好是循法律途径,看如何由非法转为合法。 也对,於是我联络休斯公司,看有什麽途径没有。公司方面回说要询问律师。唉!人浮於事,有谁是公司非要不可,愿意付代价来争取留下的?等待期间前途未卜,但初信时的一把热火托住了我,一直有一种平安在心里悠著。

在这之间,一位朋友为情自杀住院了。想到自己信主也是因为情殇,於是自愿跑医院照顾她,向她解说信仰,希望能把她由情感困惑中拉拔出来。每一天早出晚归,几乎忘了自己尚有悬而未决之事。 一日,方回到家,赫然有一移民官上门。拿出一纸递解出境的通知令。这对非法移民是很要命的。当时我冷静异常,心想,刚经过一场鬼门关生死鬥,这世上再也没有什麽事吓得到我了。 但奇怪的是,这六呎高,金髮,一身西装的白人移民官竟十分和善,他主动告诉我:「不要害怕,妳有许多路可走。比如说:休斯公司便可以再帮妳办回来。」然後他便与休斯公司的律师电话联繫,两下竟讲得十分愉快。 掛了电话後,他强调一般人对移民官有个错误印象,以为他们都是横眉竖眼,会拎著非法移民的衣领,粗暴地扔出境外。

但实际上他们是很有礼貌的,且作事有一道道程序,所以,不要怕。 不要怕?这句话听来熟悉,後才想起是在圣经上,天使出现对马利亚所说的话。一个递解我出境的移民官,居然表现的像个天使?这是恩典,我知道。 於是出境是必然。天下之大,我能去哪? 经过一番思索,我选择回台湾。出国八年,梦里不知身是客。

常梦到自己身在台湾,醒来却发觉自己仍在异乡,很是惘然。一个八年圆不了的梦,会在这种情况下成形麽?我知这也是神的成全。 但许多好心朋友劝我叁思,说出去了,就不见得回得来,尤其是台湾。 是麽?回不来?重要麽?对一个基督徒来说,只要带一本圣经,大江南北哪里不能待?既有神的同在?吾何惧哉? 终於,到了离去的那一天,我坐上由普渡起飞的小飞机,由小窗中望著寄居叁年的大地,一点、一点地变得遥远。所有曾发生其中的喜怒哀乐,爱恨情仇,现也都远了。所有的束缚与牵绊,也全解脱了。我现是鸟,我的世界是更宽阔的天空。 叹一口气,转移眼光,我望向云端高处的阳光,浩浩乎凭虚御风,心中充满无限的嚮往

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erudite prayer and silent moments, the heart swelled with indescribable sourness. I don’t know if it’s an intensification of my feelings or if is it inspired by divine revelation, but I gradually fell in love with prayer, and the gesture of crying in my heart was so moving and painful. How incredible is this! For a “post-80s” boy who is recognized as having extreme thoughts, a strange personality, and an indifferent expression, there is the softest blood and heart. And this softness, gentleness, and true self of me is fully awakened when I face God directly. This is my inner room, this is the magic of my communication with the universe. all the outward laughter and strength, disguise and meanness, are shattered in an instant. I have seen my death at the same time, and I will see my resurrection at the same time.

The resurrection may take a long time.

I’m a mortal! I was uneasy when I suddenly realized this big problem. Even when I prayed, I thought that I had entered the supernatural realm and obtained some kind of supernatural energy, but I did not feel humbled and felt the cosmic kinship that the transcendent had bestowed upon me, and I was connected by blood. When He approached me, the mountain of my soul was moved, torn down, and returned naked with a new life. It’s all grace! Nothing but grace. If it weren’t for grace, my life, the changes in the world, the withering of plants and trees, and the movement of the planet. All of this is maintained by the benevolent protection of the first driving force. There is no greater power of faith between heaven and earth than this.

Faith in mortals takes on a new connotation for everyday life, and faith in the superman leads us to certain glory. This is the promise of the incarnation.

Although the scenery on the side of the road is bleak, a person’s trek has long forgotten the beautiful scenery, as if I have forgotten myself. I’m young, I’m on my way, I’m young, I’m longing to travel.

● The beginning of life

Individual life, as if born with a religious nature, may be strongly adhered to atheism or other discourses in the future, and you will never be able to avoid the myriad complexes of life coming from the chaos to the earth, in Dr. Leung Yin Cheng’s view, this event is the great cosmic affection. The advent of life is the greatest miracle in the universe. All the delicate arrangements and proper arrangements in the universe, all the light and rain, can be seen as a heartfelt welcome to individual life. The life that comes out of life, the light that comes out of eternity, the cold cosmic and biological laws, in the sustainment of divine love, gives dignity and breadth to life itself.

When I was young, I experienced several coming-of-age disasters. My father lived in a remote but historic village, which was once a desert outside the Zhou Dynasty. Facing a large wasteland for generations, I don’t know how many bones have been buried and how many unjust cases have been caused in this piece of yellow earth. Fei Xiang’s song “Hometown” resounded in the sky over China in the 80s, but it did not awaken people’s search for a more beautiful hometown. In the Chinese mainland in the 80s, the vigorous stories of the times were constantly unfolding against the same background, and at the center of all the stories continued to write a common theme: this ancient land, the dignity, and value of human life were devalued to a lower degree.

After the “purge” of Wen Gee, the masses have never been able to produce a deep awakening of the soul, and people yearn for real and certain comfort. In the countryside, many people enter the monastery in a hazy way, worship in front of the statue of the Buddha, and all the goods built come from the donation of each family. People do not know anything about the wisdom of the Buddha and his life, words, and deeds, and they do not know anything about the refuge of Master Hongyi and the journey of faith of Mr. Lin Yutang and only regard the Buddha as a fantasy god to seek prosperity and physical well-being in the future. The countryside in my childhood memories presents an incongruous atmosphere.

Our past and present lives have been laid out by God’s pen. He has never kept humanity in a state of chaos. In the beginning, the earth was empty and chaotic, and the Spirit of God moved on the waters, and also on every chaotic and confused land.

When my mother was young, she came to God. This was an unprecedented move at that time. Almost the whole family could not understand that the people of the clan had always cherished the deepest loyalty to the Buddha and other gods of all kinds, and were vague when asked about the reason for their hopes. Under the mysterious influence of the historical allusion to “Fengming Qishan”, too many people are in a deep-rooted haze and uncivilized state. Faith in God’s Mother shows extraordinary wisdom, tolerance, and fraternity among her neighbors, and although there is little culture, the outpouring of inner life is evident. In the ostentatious countryside, my mother always used Jesus’ teachings as the foundation of her life: blessed are the peacemakers, love God, and love your neighbor as yourself.

After their marriage, their parents have been examples for their neighbors to praise and follow. They had two older sisters, and the third baby boy died in a hurry on the first night of life. In a land where there is no truth to be revealed, any ridiculous thought can flourish: the neighbors agree that a family cannot be sustained without a boy, and the family becomes the talk of others. Due to the pressure of the world, the mother wanted to support the neighbor’s child to make up for the shortcomings.

The mother later said that it was a summer moon, she had contacted a family in the same village, and the baby boy was very cute. Unexpectedly, her hands were swollen and painful for no reason, and a piece of steamed bread was difficult to hold. She prayed, then gave up the idea, and her will was renewed: if she took the neighbor’s child at will, it would bring regret and harm to three sides in the future, and it would last for a lifetime. The mother waited with hope, and she was sure that no life would come for no reason, and no life would be meaningless.

To this day, I believe that the prayer gestures of many people who sincerely look up to God are the most touching emotions in the universe: all the love and longing that come from the heart are like rivers, and the true good and evil, tenderness and longing of human nature are also vividly presented.

It didn’t take long for my parents to have me.

Perhaps only the Mother determines how God sustains the conception and birth of a love life.

In the future, when I experienced the hardships of growing up more deeply, I was greatly comforted by the memory of my mother’s prayers. It is as if every word of the Bible is closely related to the life of an individual:

“You have made my inwards.

I am in my mother’s womb, and you have covered me.

I praise you, for I have been made wonderfully and fearfully.

Your deeds are wonderful, and I know them in my heart.

Your eyes have seen my unformed constitution. ”

Life itself is a miracle. Life science is about the ins and outs of the birth of life, and cannot give nobility and dignity to life itself. Any life, whether president or beggar, is given value and meaning by God at the beginning of life. For God, there are no accidents in life. The Christian faith holds great value for the universal values of humanity, and it is revealed by the light of God. The Bible’s first place of human beings under God’s creation, care, and redemption is more moving than the cold and flawed theory of evolution. When a criminal suddenly discovers that life is not accidental, that his birth contains the most ingenious arrangement of cosmic intelligent design, that he has a pair of divine eyes that transcend worldly judgment, and that he walks lightly into the desert of your heart with the ultimate care of tenderness, he will immediately find hope of survival. He was reborn in the Holy Kingdom.

Although at the beginning of history, there was a scene of the ancestors who turned away from God and brought endless sins and disasters to the history of mankind, however, God’s loving redemption was revealed to mankind on the cross of Jesus Christ to the highest peak so that all who confessed to Jesus Christ could be reconciled to God.

This long journey home, as a sinner, still has a considerable amount of mental road to go.

● Childhood

Memories of childhood are the best testimonies to the care and love of the Most High experienced by a simple and weak individual at the beginning of his life.

When I was three years old, my partner and I were mowing grass for silkworms in the field. The scythe cut cut my left index finger, leaving only a layer of skin attached. When the neighbor who passed by saw it, he immediately wrapped his finger in a handkerchief and took me to the village medical room, where I did not feel pain, washed, stitched, removed stitches, and healed…… One year during the Spring Festival, I fell into a large pot of radish broth that had just come out of the pot, but I did not faint, I received treatment soberly, and I clearly remembered my mother’s call to God: “Lord, save my child.” At the age of six, he suffered from jaundice and hepatitis, and his two months of traditional Chinese medicine and dripping life were unbearable, he was healthier than ordinary children, which made the attending physician feel incredible. Looking back, if it weren’t for God’s love and grace, his life would have been lost.

Many theologians who have never met God in the desert of life mistakenly believe that God created the world and human beings and that we have always been in a “state of abandonment”, and that the universe and human beings seem to have fallen into the abyss, and God has never intervened in the reality of individual life. Tom Watson’s Systematic Theology, a gift from a friend, explains God’s perfect care for his creation: “By his utmost holiness, wisdom, and power, he protects all his creation, and governs all their actions.” “There is no emotion in the universe, and it is difficult to reveal its truth beyond such a divine protection, even in the liturgical form of religion.

It was very sloppy and very warm to end my childhood.

When he was seven years old, his family moved to the provincial capital. I still remember that before leaving, my aunt gave me a bag of books: this is a Bible. Seven years in the countryside, there were simple Christian meetings every week in my house. There is no formal procedure, no indoctrination of high doctrines, just ordinary neighbors, gathered together to sing hymns and pray. Their timbre may be grotesque, their singing skills are almost nil, and they know nothing about the genre. In the eyes of common admiration and simple praise, it reflects a love and tranquility beyond the abnormal.

From an early age, he was able to sing many traditional hymns. A praise for life, what a pure and noble cosmic kinship.

In retrospect, the nourishment of the soul at that time had a powerful effect on one’s wholesome growth, and it will always make you feel in awe of the divine presence in the face of increasing materialization. The dialogue between man and God will make your soul grow stronger, and in the ever-changing times, you will always remain a free soul and never lose the essence of “man”. All the great evils and disasters in the history of mankind are in fact the result of the oppression of the soul by the flesh. When the two dimensions of the soul – spirit and spirituality, mind and emotion – have not yet been redeemed and reformed, and the physical body does whatever it wants in a limited and obscure space, man is not called human. A free soul is a prerequisite for the rebirth of the individual, as Berdyaev said: “For generations, mankind has pursued the path of freedom from slavery.” The decisive factor in this process is Jesus Christ. Mr. Lin Zhiping’s arduous journey of finding people in “Daytime Lantern” is probably the most detailed description of the return to the basics of “people”.

● From anger to redemption

In the city, it seems that everything has become strange, but it is also gradually getting closer to the truth. For the first time, I was deeply aware of the complex contained in Trakl’s poem “The Soul – the Stranger of the Earth”. In the nineties of the last century, the clarion call of reform and opening up sounded in this ancient land, nearby factories rose from the ground, and four towering iron towers pointed to the sky. From the 80s to the 90s, the uniformity of an era has changed to the popularity and swaying posture of an era, and the development trend has continued to the present. The continent that pursues the super-British and catches up with the United States, solidifies all values in GDP growth and personal pleasure, “I” can be above all things, and all things should be born and destroyed because of “me”, but refuse to adhere to the dignity and sacredness of individual life. The 5,000-year-old Chinese history has accumulated the root of national inferiority, and it is even more in line with the external extravagance interpretation to the extreme.

The community has a fresh surface every day. Almost the same face with a weird smile. The multi-million-dollar street garden is a place for people to chat and relax. Excluding this external prosperity, what is hidden inside is the flies and dogs, as well as the real insider trading. It seems that the inferior genes brewed by the ten years of catastrophe have refused to leave, and they still deduce the cannibalism between compatriots, but the disguise is more reasonable. A nearby disco was a place for men to have fun, and many witnessed a young girl named “working girl” being pulled into a “Buick” car by a group of men who were nearly kidnapped, leaving behind a miserable cry. The irony is that a certain office worker woman is a companion in Xi’an, and the man in the same unit goes to the same amusement park, and the two meet unexpectedly, and they are silent with each other.

Just like Mr. Lin’s helpless “daytime lantern”, the awakened suddenly found that in the hustle and bustle, the “person” was gone. “People” are wrapped in money, power, and sex, and have no freedom at all. I often miss the praise of my hometown, the simple people and things in my hometown, and I can only say helplessly like Zhang Ailing in “Love in a Fallen City”: “We can’t go back.” ”

In such an environment, I struggled to grow up as a teenager. Mother’s belief in God has been able to gain more and more respect here. Her virtue and intelligence have also made her much praised. When I was in elementary school, I was lonely and showed an excessively precocious tendency toward other children my age. At the same time, I profoundly discovered that there is a serious problem in China’s current education system, in the same class, there will be a division of 369 and so on, and the only criterion for division is always a score that is like blood illusion, the teacher smiles at the top students, and the corporal punishment is imposed on those who fail to pass the grades, and the students feel that their personality is trampled on, their dignity is violated, and it is hard to imagine that an education system without love has been cultivatedWhat will the “elite” look like, and how serious the psychological annihilation will be to the rest of the students. When the Maccajue case surfaced, the case of the murder of a political science and law student returned, and the extreme ecstasy of Chinese students after the “911” incident in the United States, our distorted national psychology was exposed. Then I think of the lies and drawbacks of “atheism”, because God is not present, and there is bound to be a lack of divine ultimate care in any field so that the cultivation of the quality of life of forgiveness, love, and faith cannot be found in our current education.

When I graduated from elementary school, my grandmother died. This is an old man who has been “Amitabha” all his life, treated badly by his relatives in his old age and died without complaint. Her love for me, and the filial piety of my parents to my grandmother. The past is like yesterday. I am not saddened by the death of my grandmother – death is the only way for all beings, death is a part of life, and death is the end and leap of life, as Kierkegaard said: “Each of us has to walk this way—to cross the bridge of sighs and into eternity.” “The loss of my grandmother prompted me to think more deeply about the ultimate question of life and death. The teenager is immature and difficult to bear. After settling in the aftermath and accompanying my family back from my hometown, I finished mourning for my grandmother in a small homemade box.

Perhaps, from that moment on, my memory became heavy. What comes into the faith comes from a longer period of growth later on. Whether it is joy or sorrow, sorrow or joy, all of this is still grace. There is nothing but grace.

When I was in middle school, my Chinese teacher assigned a propositional essay about the immortality of the Dead Sea. The rest of the students only analyzed from the perspective of physics and chemistry in a one-sided way, which is no different from the main text of the textbook. I thought of God’s creation, the vitality of life, and other beautiful and moving scenes, and related them to the ecological protection of the times, and wrote a “Dialogue between the Creator and Man”. Although it was praised, it also seemed to hint at the state of mind that followed with the chaos that followed. This kind of thinking was already latent in the cells of my grandmother when she died.

I traveled to many hospitals in Xi’an by my mother’s side. Occasionally sleepy, occasionally awake. The definition given by medicine made me feel funny in the future. The nurses on duty, young girls who had just graduated from medical school, judged that there were no abnormal pathologies through my fragmentary records, one chief physician scribbled the diagnosis with “depression”, and another specialist wrote “intermittent loss of consciousness”. My doubts about the nature of modern medicine as a result of this, and at the same time, I have a little more understanding of Lu Xun’s move to abandon medicine and follow literature: the two doctors with prestigious titles have no mercy, and their professional ethics make people suspicious. Modern medicine, if it lacks a divine caring orientation, is only the initiator of human troubles.

The sentence given by the medicine made me fall into an unnamed struggle for a while, and I felt a sense of hopelessness beyond words. My upbringing made it impossible for me to avoid a major breach in my life: I had a hidden disease of intermittent confusion, which would cause individuals to be unable to attain normal joy and perceive the happiness of life and the value of existence. This reminds me of the madman Nietzsche, who invented “God is dead, Superman is born” and finally died of madness; I think of Van Gogh, the impressionist master who committed suicide by drinking bombs in a delirium at the age of 37; and even Shi Lu of the Chang’an School of painting who was persecuted because of political turmoil and ran mad. These individuals who did not perceive the existence of God, or experienced the reality of God, but eventually abandoned their faith, all ended up committing suicide. The vigor of the flesh and the fame of the talent will go down in history, and the followers and admiration of the younger generations, but with the dust of history, draw a meaningful end.

In the night of life, I resolutely cannot see the morning star overhead. Mother’s faith in God has been tested like never before. All of John Bunyan’s experiments with Christians described in Pilgrim’s Progress are condensed into a mother’s concern and anxiety about her son. She still prays for me. So much so that I associated my mother with Augustine’s mother, Monica. For a while, the mother gave up her faith. The mother’s loss stems from her unforgettable love for her son, and she has a tragic episode of the prodigal son leaving home on the stage of life and faith. In the month of her departure from God, my mother said that it was the bleakest day, and she could not help herself when she thought of the praise she had received and the infinite kindness she had received. The mother immediately fell to her knees and prayed for mercy from the Lord, and no longer prayed for any satisfaction other than God, but only God Himself. The return of the prodigal son from home is also the most intimate and starry cosmic family affection.

I walked in the desert of youth in extreme anger and speculation about death. Even fantasizing about completing the last leap in life in the deep messianic complex like Haizi although it is called a leap, it is tantamount to self-destruction. This denies not only existence itself but also God who gives meaning and value to life.

God’s commandment “Thou shalt not kill” includes suicide.

The true Messianic complex is a willingness to go to the cross, where there is truth and life, and to be able to forgive the world as Jesus Christ did: “Forgive, Father. ”

● Healing light

About three years ago, I stopped taking medication and no one who communicated with me to a greater or lesser degree could connect me with the patient. The phrase “medication for life” on my medical card scares me, but it finally gives me confidence. I made the decision to wean off the medicine, and based on my mother’s persistent prayers, she sought God’s healing of me in all aspects. Mother is a smart person, and she has seen too many similar cases in the psychology subject. She was sure that the diagnosis of “depression” and “affective disorder” was true. Mother’s prayers always revolve around one theme: “Lord, His life belongs to you.” Pray that you will renew his vision of the world, give him a new creation spirit, and put perfect love in him. ”

My mother’s understanding of me stems in large part from God’s bonding for my family. People with depression are trapped in deep negative emotions, which are often caused by self-centeredness and a lack of a balanced worldview. More and more people with depression are moving towards suicide in anger and depression. All my judgments of my society are still based on self-righteousness, and even in Bai Yang’s “The Ugly Chinese”, I have found a trace of solace as the basis for my correct judgment of national character, but in the end I found that there is still no way out. The criticism that originates from the sinful nature has no light at all, but only proves the narrowness and self-esteem of human nature. The resulting depressed mood will gradually eat away at the normal functioning of the individual, becoming autistic in anger and resentment, and looking at everything around him tastelessly.

Mother prayed to God to give me perfect love. I was blown away by that.

When my reason, emotion, and will were renewed by God, I realized a great fact: all people have sinned and fallen short of God’s glory. The Bible encircles the cynical, self-righteous “me” among the “criminals,” and I realize that I am no more noble than others, and not only that, but I can touch the bitterness within. All the criticism and resentment only illustrate one fact: my love is not perfect. There is no criminal law in perfect love, and when love is perfect, it removes fear.

In the wandering of life, about God’s grace and redemption, I have an encounter from eternity and life. What a wonderful renewal, God’s perfect healing of a sinner!

St. Francis’ prayer for peace is the truest voice of all those who come to God:

“Lord, make us your instruments of peace: sow forgiveness where there is hurt, hope where there is despair, and joy where sorrow. Lord, give us what we have always dreamed of: that we should seek comfort not for comfort, not for understanding, but for understanding, not for love, but for love. Because giving is what we gain, forgiving others and we are forgiven. Such death is our rebirth. ”

●Epilogue

“There are two things, the deeper and more persistent I think about them, the more the wonder and awe they evoke in my soul will grow with each passing day: these are the stars above my head and the moral law in my heart. ”

Kant said.

For Mother, about me, and even for everyone who looks up to the stars amid great sorrow, they live out the call of their ancestors: “Lord, if my soul does not find rest in you, it will always be troubled.” ”

Looking back, it was just the first answer sheet in life. It doesn’t matter what the results are, what the victory or defeat is, participating in a feast of life, inviting to be invited to a feast of love of life, this is already infinite grace. A person’s life trek, inadvertently, receives the true consolation of Christ’s incarnation, and henceforth does not surprise words and misunderstandings, but looks at all things with a new God-given eye, blesses and prays for one another. Christ completed God’s redemption by accepting a broken me and will heal me again. Greek philosophy’s profound and exquisite argument on the “Dao”, and Lao Zhuang’s philosophy on the “Dao” argument of the mean. And only Jesus Christ, with His outstretched arms, embraces every indifferent and lonely life in the universe.

At the moment of embrace, God said there should be light, and there was light. Since then, all beings have been perfected, and all things have been sublimated.

“Death is at me, and my body is about to return to dust, eaten by worms. How unfathomable is the abyss between my deep anguish and the eternal kingdom of Christ! I am amazed that my ambition and that of Julius Caesar and Alexander the Great have vanished in the air, and that Jewish redneck, Jesus, has stretched out his hand across the ages to control the fate of mankind and nation. ”

Napoleon. On his deathbed. Said.

恩典见证 24.《…

音频 5 分钟

祈祷与静默的时刻,内心涌动着难以名状的酸楚。我不知这是一种自我情感的强化?或是源自于神圣天启的感召?我逐渐爱上了祈祷,伴随着心灵哭泣的姿态,如此动人,又痛彻心扉。这是多么不可思议啊!对于一个被人们公认为思想偏激个性怪异神情冷漠的“八零后”男生,竟也存在着最柔软的血液和心脏。而我的此般的柔软、温和、最具真我的一面,当我直接面对上帝时,方被完全唤醒。这是我的内室,这是我和宇宙互通的神奇?所有外在的欢笑与坚强、伪装和卑劣,瞬间变得支离破碎。我同时看到了我的死,也将同时看到我的复活。

复活,也许是需要一段相当漫长的时间

我是一个凡人!当我突然意识到这个重大问题,我感到不安。甚至在我祈祷时,妄以为进入超自然领域,获得了某种超自然能量,却未曾自觉卑微,感知那位超越者赋予我的宇宙亲情,血脉相连。当祂亲自向我靠近,我的灵魂高山被移动,被拆毁,从此赤身归回,有了一个全新生命的复活。这一切都是恩典!除了恩典,再没有什么了。若非恩典,我的存活、世事变迁、草木枯荣、星球运转……这一切都维系于第一推动力的仁慈护佑。天地间的信力,莫过于此。

信力之于凡人,推动每日的生活有了更新的内涵;信力之于超人,带领我们进入确定的荣耀。这是道成肉身的应许。

路边的风景虽则黯淡,一个人的跋涉早已忘却良辰美景,如同忘却我本身。我还年轻,我正在路上,我还年轻,我渴望远行。

●生命之初

个体生命,仿佛与生俱来带有宗教性,也许日后你会强烈坚持无神论或其它论述,你始终无法回避生命自浑浑噩噩中降临到尘世的万千情结,在梁燕诚博士看来,此事件,即是伟大的宇宙亲情。一个生命的降临,这是宇宙间最恢弘的奇迹。宇宙中所有精密的安排与妥善的布置,所有的光线和雨露,都可看作对个体生命由衷的欢迎。从生命而出的生命,从永恒而出的光明,冰寒的宇宙与生物法则,在神圣之爱的维系中,赋予生命本身以尊严和广度。

当我年幼时,数次经历成长劫难。父辈生活在一个偏远但颇具历史遗韵的村庄,这里曾是周王朝关外的一片荒漠。祖祖辈辈面向一大片荒原,在这块黄土地上,不知掩埋了多少尸骨,造成多少冤案。费翔的一曲《故乡》响彻八十年代的中国上空,却丝毫不能唤醒人们对更美故乡的追寻。八十年代的中国大陆,在清一色的背景下不断演绎着轰轰烈烈的时代故事,所有故事的中心,续写着共同的主题:这块古老的土地,人的生命尊严和价值被贬低到更低的程度。经历文g e的“肃清”,大众始终无法产生灵魂深处的觉醒,人们渴望一种真实而确定的安慰。身处乡村,许多人朦胧中进入寺院,面对佛陀造像顶礼膜拜,建造的所有财物,皆来源于各家各户的周济。人们对佛陀的智慧与生平言行一无所知,对弘一法师的皈依和林语堂先生的信仰之旅也只字未闻,仅仅将佛陀当作幻想中的神明,以此求前途富贵身体康泰。幼年记忆中的乡村,呈现出不协调的气氛。

我们的前世今生,都已经被上帝的笔铺陈叙事。祂从不会使人类一直陷入混沌未开的状态。起初,地是空虚混沌,上帝的灵运行在水面上,也运行在每一块混沌迷茫的土地。

母亲年轻时,便归信上帝。这在当时的年月,称得上破天荒的举动。几乎全家族人也不能理解,族人对佛陀以及其它形形色色的神明,始终怀抱最深的忠诚,若是问到他们心中盼望的缘由,却又含糊其辞。在“凤鸣岐山”历史典故的神秘影响下,太多人处于根深蒂固的阴霾与未开化状态。信仰上帝的母亲,在邻里间表现出非凡的智慧、宽容和博爱,虽无多少文化,内在生命的流露显而易见。在是非招摇的乡村,母亲始终以耶稣的训诲作为处世为人的根基:使人和睦的人有福了,爱上帝,并要爱人如己。父母婚后一直是邻里称赞效法的榜样。她们先后有了我的两个姐姐,第三个男婴在出生的第一个夜里便匆匆夭折。在无真理彰显的大地上,任何可笑的思想都可泛滥成灾:乡邻一致认为一个家庭若无男孩,香火难以维系,而这个家庭便成为他人议论的谈资。碍于世俗压力,母亲希望抱养邻家孩子,以补不足。

母亲后来讲:那是一个夏月,她已联系好同村的一户人家,男婴非常可爱。不料,她的手无故肿痛起来,一块馒头也难以手持。她于是祈祷,随后放弃此想法,她的意志得到更新:如果随意抱养邻家孩子,日后将给三方面带来憾恨与伤害,且一生之久。母亲存着盼望等候,她确定任何生命都不会无缘无故的被降临,也不会毫无意义的行此一生。

我至今认为:许许多多虔诚仰望上帝的人,他们祈祷的姿态是宇宙间最动人的情感:一切源自内心的爱与渴求,都如江河涌现;人性本真的善与恶、温柔与渴盼,也都淋漓尽致的呈现。

未过多久,父母便有了我。

也许只有母亲确定:上帝如何在爱中维系了一个生命的孕育和降生。

当我在日后,更深的经验到成长的艰辛,每每回忆起母亲的祷文,便得到极大安慰。仿佛圣经的每一言,都与个体生命息息相关:

“我的肺腑是你所造的。

我在母腹中,你已覆庇我。

我要称谢你,因我受造奇妙可畏,

你的作为奇妙,这是我心深知道的。

我未成形的体质,你的眼早已看见了。”

生命本身就是一次神迹。生命科学关于生命诞生的来龙去脉,无法赋予生命本身的高贵和尊严。任何生命,无论总统或乞儿,在生命之初皆被上帝赋予价值和意义。对于上帝而言,生命没有偶然。基督信仰对人类普世价值的珍视,是如此恢弘,带着神圣之光的启示。圣经首先将人置于上帝的创造、呵护、和救赎之下,这显然比冰寒冷酷漏洞百出的进化论更令人动容。当一个罪犯突然发现生命并非偶然,他的出生蕴含着宇宙智能设计最精妙的安排,有一双超越世俗判断的神圣之眼,携带着温柔的终极关怀轻盈地走向你心灵的荒漠,他会立即找到存活的希望。他在神圣的王国里获得新生。

纵然,在历史的开端,上演过一幕始祖背离上帝带给人类史无穷的罪恶和灾难,然而,上帝充满情爱的救赎,在耶稣基督的十字架上向人类显明到最高峰,使凡认信耶稣基督的人,得以与神和解。

这一条漫长的归途,在本为罪人的我身上,还有相当一段心路要走。

●童年

关于童年的记忆,最能验证一个单纯柔弱的个体,在人生之初经历到的至高者的眷顾和慈爱。

三岁时,我与伙伴在田里给蚕割草。镰刀划伤了我的左手食指,只连结了一层皮。路过的相邻看到时,立即用手绢将手指包裹,带我到村里的医疗室,我并未感到疼痛,清洗、缝针、拆线、愈合……一切都是在微笑的状态下完成;有一年春节,我浑身跌入一大盆刚出锅的萝卜肉汤里,却未曾昏厥,清醒的接受了治疗,清晰的记得母亲彼时呼唤上帝:“主啊,拯救我的孩子。”;六岁时,患黄疸肝炎,两个月的中药和点滴生活委实难耐,比一般患儿更显健康,让主治医师也感到不可思议;回首起来,若非源于上帝的爱与恩典,性命早已不保。

许多在生命的荒漠未曾与神相遇的神学家,误以为上帝创造了世界和人类,我们便一直处于“被抛状态”,宇宙和人类仿佛因此坠入万丈深渊,上帝从未介入个体生命的真实。而友人相赠汤姆•华森的《系统神学》中,便阐释出上帝对所造之物的完备护理:“用祂至极的圣洁、智慧、权能,保护祂所造的万物,并管理他们一切的动作。”宇宙间再无任何情感,高于这样一种神圣的护佑,甚至宗教的礼仪形式,也是难以显明其真实。

很潦草,也很温馨的结束了我的童年。

当七岁时,举家迁入省城。还记得临走,伯母送我一本包的严实的书:这是一本圣经。乡村七年,每周在我家有简单的基督徒之间的聚会。无任何形式上的既定程序,也无高深教义的灌输,只是普通乡邻,汇聚一起唱赞美诗、并祈祷。她们的音色也许怪诞,歌唱技巧几乎为零,关于音乐流派也一无所知;在共同仰望的目光与单纯的赞美中,却体现出超乎异常的爱与宁静。

从小,便可以唱许多赋有传统色彩的赞美诗。一个生命的赞美,这是多么纯粹而高贵的宇宙亲情。

如今回想起来,那时得到的灵魂滋养,对一个人的健全成长会产生多么强大的影响,它会让你在日益物化的当下,始终对神圣存在满怀敬畏。人与上帝对话,使你的心灵不断壮大,在瞬息万变的时代风云中,永远保持自由的灵魂,永不丢失“人”的本质。人类史上一切巨大的罪恶和灾难,事实上都是肉身压迫灵魂所导致。当灵魂的两个层面——精神与灵性,思想和情感——尚未得到救赎和归正,肉身在有限昏昧的空间中为所欲为,人也不称之为人。自由的灵魂是个体获得新生的先决条件,如别尔嘉耶夫所说:“世世代代的人类都在追寻着摆脱奴役,达到自由的道路。在这一过程中起决定作用的,便是耶稣基督。”林治平先生在《白昼提灯》中艰辛的找人旅程,大约是对“人”的返璞归真最详尽的叙述。

●从愤怒到救赎

在都市,仿佛一切都变得陌生,却也渐渐靠近真实。我第一次深切的体会到特拉克尔的诗句“灵魂——大地上的异乡者”所饱含的万般情结。上世纪的九十年代,改革开放的号角声吹响在这块古老的土地上,附近的一座座工厂拔地而起,四座高耸的铁塔直指穹苍。从八十年代跨入九十年代,一个时代的清一色转变为一个时代的风靡和摇曳的姿势,发展的态势一直延续到当下。追求超英赶美的大陆,将所有价值观凝固在GDP的增长以及个人享乐,“我”可以凌驾于万物之上,万物理当因“我”而生,因“我”而灭,却拒绝对个体生命尊严和神圣的坚守。五千年华夏历史积淀下的国民劣根性,更是配合了外在的奢靡演绎到极致。

小区里每日有着表面新鲜的景致。几乎相同的面孔带着怪异的笑。耗资百万修建的街心花园是人们聊以休闲的去处。排除这些外在的盛世繁华,隐藏于内的,是蝇营狗苟,以及真实存在的内幕交易。仿佛十年浩劫给人们酿造的劣质基因一直不肯离去,仍然演绎着同胞之间骨肉相残,只是伪装的更有理可循。附近的一间迪厅是男人们寻欢作乐的场所,许多人目睹一个被冠以“打工妹”的少女,被一群男人近乎绑架式的拉上“别克牌”轿车,留下一声凄惨的呼喊。具讽刺意味的是:某上班族女人在西安作陪女,同单位男士去同一间游乐场所,两人不期相遇,彼此默然无语。

正仿佛林先生无奈的“白昼提灯”,觉醒者突然发现:在一片的喧嚣中,“人”不见了。“人”被钱、权、色重重包裹,无自由可言。我时常怀念起故乡的赞美,故乡纯朴的人和事,也只能如张爱玲在《倾城之恋》中那般无奈的说:“我们再也回不去了。”

在这样一个环境,我艰难完成着一个少年的成长。母亲对上帝的信仰,居然能在此地日益获得人们的尊重。她的贤德与聪敏,也令其倍受称赞。小学时光,我过的孤独,且比同龄孩子显示出过度的早熟倾向。我目睹着成人世界太多的隐秘,将它们写进日记,又必须面对每天枯燥的课程,同时,我深刻的发现:中国现行的教育体制出现了严重的问题,同一个班级里,会有三六九等的划分,划分的唯一标准,永远是一个个如同鲜血幻化而成的分数,老师对优等生投以微笑,对成绩不合格者则施行体罚,学生感受到人格被践踏,尊严被侵犯,很难想象,一个没有爱的教育体制所培育出来的“精英”会是什么样子,对其余学子造成的心理歼害会是多么严重。当马加爵一案浮出水面,政法学子弑师案卷土重来,美国“911”事件后中国学生表露出的极端狂喜,我们扭曲的民族心理昭然若揭。我随之会想到“无神论”的谎言和弊端,因为上帝不在场,任何领域势必缺乏神圣的终极关爱,以至于在我们现行的教育中,找不到宽恕、仁爱、信仰的生命素质的培育。

小学毕业那年,祖母去世。这是一位“阿弥陀佛”了一生、在晚年受到至亲恶待、终久毫无怨言撒手人寰的老人。她对我的爱,父母对祖母的万般孝顺……往事如在昨天。对于祖母的离世,我并非痛苦于至亲的亡故——死亡是众生的必由之路,死是生的一部分,死也是生的完结和跨越,如克尔凯郭尔所言:“我们每个人都不得不走这条道——跨过叹息桥,进入永恒。”祖母的离去,促使我更深思考生与死的终极性问题。少年稚嫩,显然难以承担。安置完后事,陪同家人从家乡返回,我在一个自制的小盒子里,完成着对祖母的哀悼。

也许,从那一刻开始,我的记忆变得沉重。真正进入信仰内在的,源于日后更漫长的成长。无论苦与乐、悲或喜,这一切仍然都是恩典。除了恩典,再没有什么了。

中学时,语文老师布置了一道命题作文:关于死海不死。其余同学只是单面性从物理与化学角度作分析,与教科书正文无异。我联想到上帝的创造、生命的活力等等美好而动人的场景,并将其和时代的生态环保联系起来,写了一篇《造物主与人的对话》。虽获得赞许,却也似乎暗示了随后而来混沌未开的思想状态。此般的思维在祖母离世的那一段时间,已潜藏于细胞。

我在母亲的陪伴下奔波于西安很多医院。偶或沉睡,偶或清醒。医学所下的定义让日后的我觉得滑稽。值班护士是医学院刚毕业的年轻姑娘,她们通过我零碎记录的文字,判定毫无非正常病理现象;一位主任医师潦草的在诊断书上写着“忧郁症”云云;另一位专家却写着“间歇性意识消失”。我关于现代医学因此产生本质的怀疑,也同时对鲁迅弃医从文的举动多了一分理解:两位拥有赫赫头衔的医师毫无悲悯,其职业道德让人怀疑,任凭患者游离于生死边缘,含糊作此判读,无非企图给各自单位招揽患者,也好作为晋升职称的凭据。现代医学如果缺乏神圣的关爱导向,也不过是人间祸乱的始作俑者。

医学所下的判语,让我一度陷入未名的挣扎,并产生无可名状的绝望感。自身的成长经历,令我无法回避生命的重大破口:我有着间歇性意识模糊的隐疾?它会导致个体无法获得正常的喜悦,也无力感知生活的幸福与存在的价值。这让我想起了发明“上帝已死,超人诞生”最终疯癫而亡的狂人尼采;想起了37岁那年精神错乱饮弹自杀的印象派大师梵高;甚至想起了因政zh i动乱被迫害以至于疯癫奔跑的长安画派石鲁……这些未曾感知上帝的实存,或经验到上帝的真实,却最终放弃信仰的个体,皆无一例外以自杀告终。肉身的轰轰烈烈,才华的名垂青史,后辈的追随与景仰,不过伴随着历史的尘埃,划一个意味深长的句号。

生命中的黑夜,依凭自身坚决无法看到头顶的晨星。母亲对上帝的信受到了前所未有的考验。约翰·班扬在《天路历程》中描述的对基督徒的所有试验,都凝聚在母亲对儿子的牵挂和焦虑中。她仍然为我祈祷。以至于我将母亲与奥古斯丁的母亲莫妮卡联系在一起。有一段时间,母亲放弃了信仰。母亲的失落源于对儿子刻骨铭心的爱,她在生命与信仰的舞台上有着浪子离家的悲剧情节。离开上帝的那个月,母亲言称这是最黯淡无光的日子,她每每想起从前的赞美,与获得的无限恩德,便情不自已。母亲立即双膝跪地,祈求主的怜悯,不再祈求上帝之外的任何满足,只寻觅上帝本身。浪子离家的归回,这亦是最为亲密,震撼星空的宇宙亲情。

我在极端的愤怒与对死亡的猜测中行走在青春的荒漠。甚至幻想着如同海子那样,在深刻的弥赛亚情结中完成生命里的最后一次跨越,显然,虽名为跨越,却无异于自毁。这不仅否定了存在本身,更否定了赋予生命以意义和价值的上帝。

上帝“不可杀人”的诫命中,包含自杀。

真实的弥赛亚情结,是甘愿走上十字架,十字架上有真理和生命,能够在十字架上如耶稣基督那样,发出对世界的宽恕:“父啊,求你赦免。”

●医治之光

大约三年前,我不再接受药物治疗,凡是与我或多或少有所交流的人,无法将我和病患联系在一起。医疗卡上注明的“终生服药”,曾让我恐慌,又最终使我满怀信心。做出断药的主张,基于母亲持之以恒的祈祷,她寻求上帝对我的全方面医治。母亲是聪慧的人,她在心理科目睹了太多类似的病例。她明确诊断书上“忧郁症”和“情感障碍”的判定属实。母亲的祈祷始终围绕着一个主题:“主啊,他的生命属于你。祈求你更新他看待世界的眼光,赐他新造的灵,将完全的爱放在他的里面。”

母亲对我的理解,很大程度源自上帝对亲情的维系。忧郁症患者陷入深深的负面情绪,造成此负面情绪的,多是自我中心,以及缺乏平衡的世界观。越来越多的忧郁症患者在愤怒和抑郁中走向自杀。我对自身所处社会的一切评判,仍然基于自以为义的心态,甚至在柏杨《丑陋的中国人》中,我曾找到过一丝慰藉,并以此作为我对国民性评判正确的依据,却最终发现仍然毫无出路。源于罪性的批判,丝毫没有亮光,只是证明了人性的狭隘与自我。由此引发的抑郁心境,会逐渐蚕食个体的正常功能,在愤怒与怨恨中变得自闭,看待周遭的一切,也索然无味。

母亲祈求上帝将完全的爱赐予我。我为此而深感震撼。

当我的理性、情感、意志得到上帝的更新,我意识到一项重大事实:世人都犯了罪,亏缺了上帝的荣耀。圣经将那个愤世嫉俗、自以为义的“我”也圈在“罪犯”之中,我意识到自身并不比别人崇高,不仅如此,我可以触摸到隐藏于内的苦毒。所有的批判与愤懑,仅仅说明了一项事实:我的爱并不完全。完全的爱里没有刑法,爱既完全,就把惧怕除去。

在生命颠沛流离的漂泊中,关于上帝的恩典与救赎,我因此有了出自永恒,源于生命的相遇。上帝对一个罪人的完全医治,竟有如此奇妙的更新!

圣·方济各的和平祈祷词,是一切走向上帝之人最真实的心声:

“主啊,求你使我们成为你和平的工具:在有伤害的地方,让我播种宽恕;在有绝望的地方,让我播种希望;在有悲伤的地方,让我播种喜乐……主啊,求你给予我们那梦寐以求的:叫我们不求安慰,但去安慰;不求理解,但去理解;不求被爱,但去爱。因为给予就是我们的收获,宽恕别人,我们就被宽恕。这样的死亡,就是我们的重生。”

●尾声

“有两种东西,我对它们的思考越是深沉和持久,它们在我心灵中唤起的惊奇和敬畏就会日新月异、不断增长,这就是我头上的星空和心中的道德定律。”

康德如是说。

对于母亲,关于我,甚至每一个在巨大悲苦中仰望星空的人,都在生命中践行先辈的仰望与呼唤:“主啊,我的灵魂若不在你那里找到安息,便永远烦躁不安。”

回首,只是人生的第一张答卷。无所谓成绩如何,胜负如何,参与了一次生命的盛筵,邀请被赴一场生命的爱筵,这已经是无限的恩典。一个人的生命跋涉,不经意间,获得基督道成肉身的真实慰藉,从此不在意外界的言语和误解,反而以上帝赋予的崭新目光审视万物,为彼此祝福,为彼此祈祷。基督完成了上帝的救赎,接纳了一个支离破碎的我,也必将重新使我愈合。希腊哲学对“道”的博大精深的精湛论辩;老庄哲学对“道”的中庸论证……而唯有耶稣基督,以祂伸开的膀臂,拥抱着宇宙间每一个被冷漠和孤单的生命。

在拥抱的那一刻,神说要有光,就有了光。此后众生圆满,万象升华。

“死亡已经逼近我,我的身体将要归回尘土,被虫子吃光。我深切的痛苦与基督永恒的国度之间的深渊,是多么深不可测!我感到惊讶,我自己的野心和凯撒、亚历山大大帝的野心居然在空中消失了,那个犹太的乡下人——耶稣——反而伸展祂的手横越世世代代,控制人类与国家的命运。”

拿破仑。临终前。如是说。