Testimony…

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Because of the pandemic, there are now many limbs who are unemployed. Some immediately face the danger of possible bankruptcy. Although some are not unemployed, the company has to cut wages significantly, which is also a big problem. The millions of college students graduating this year will obviously have a hard time finding jobs. In the face of these enormous challenges, human comfort is limited. We need strong faith, comfort, and help from God.

Many years ago, I went to my mother-in-law’s house for dinner, and the whole family talked and laughed at the dinner table, which was very warm. After the meal, my wife pulled me aside and said to me, “Tell you something, I was fired. I said, “Oh, I really didn’t see it just now. She replied, “Of course, we are believers.” I worked hard and got good grades, but.”

I took my wife by the hand and told her the truth: If God receives something, it means giving us better, so we should be thankful and praised.

Unemployment is actually just a small worry in life, and there are too many sufferings that exceed unemployment. God is in control of all this.

Scripture: “(Job) says, ‘I will return naked from my mother’s womb.’ He who rewards the Lord and receives the Lord, whose name is praiseworthy.” Job 1:21

Thank you for all things, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18

No one likes to be fired, not even people who shout “The world is so big, I want to see it” all day long. Because this means that their efforts are despised, the value of life is not reflected, and even the discrimination of classmates and former colleagues is reminiscent. This is undoubtedly an unpleasant thing.

If you have been unemployed for a long time, it is even more irritating. For non-believers, there is no reverence, so many complaints begin. “Man’s foolishness pours out his word, and his heart complains about the Lord. Prov. 19:3

Christians walk in the workplace for the glory of God. Be faithful in all things, “serve willingly, as if serving the Lord, not like serving others.” Ephesians 6:7. The Lord will also give wisdom, patience, and love (often in teamwork) so that we can bear a good witness to the Lord in our offices, schools, and shops. Nevertheless, sometimes God will allow unemployment to come to us, even for extended periods of time, the kind that will affect our lives.

In this regard, Christians are inevitably troubled and weak, not because they do not have enough money or fear of ridicule, but because:

1. Not understanding what God’s will is in it. “When a man looks at the earth, he sees darkness and difficulty, and light becomes dim in the clouds. Isaiah 5:30b. It was clear that he wanted to make some achievements in this position so that people could see the glory and God, but he was fired first. Failure to see God’s will leads to undue questioning, “Doesn’t God love me?

2. My plans are broken, and I don’t know how to do it to glorify God. When to move up to what level, when to get married, when to buy a house or travel abroad, we all have our own plans, and life seems to be busy and methodical. But now it’s all suddenly broken. Don’t say that glorifying God is not easy to grow strong from weakness.

3. Inner peace and joy are negatively affected. When I was just unemployed, I also imagined that I could read more Bibles and go to church meetings more. Exercises and foreign language learning programs are also developed. However, as the time of unemployment prolonged, the heart became more and more restless and anxious.

This makes us even more frustrated when we are already confident of our confidence. The spiritual situation was a thousand miles away, and he even began to pray, “God, have mercy on me because I am in a difficult situation.” My eyes were shriveled with sorrow, and even my body and mind were restless. My life is consumed by sorrow, my years are wasted by sighs, my strength is decayed by my sins, and my bones are dry. Psalm 31:9-10

What is the truth behind the development from vague uneasiness to obvious anxiety and anxiety?

1. Our understanding of truth is still very vague. Although I have heard it, I do not know for sure that I truly believe that God is sovereign in all things. Know that not a single hair of ours will fall out if the Lord does not allow it. The Lord rules over all authority in heaven and on earth. Matthew 10:29, 28:18. Yes, God does not allow it, and you will certainly not be unemployed. Unemployment is also done by God’s goodwill. James 1:17

2) We have not truly surrendered sovereignty to God. Although we call Jesus Christ “my Lord,” we are really asking God to be our staff and support group. Reluctance to allow God to lead us on the way to the cross because the old self is full of fear of it. Matthew 16:24, Luke 14:33. This is why many Christians today are so close to the church.

3. Lack of preparation for the path of faith. The Bible says, “Whoever comes to God must believe in God and reward him for those who seek him.” “Hebrews 11:6. Our plans, efforts, and achievements sometimes prevent us from coming to God because we don’t want to let God’s hand shape us.

The path of true blessing is the way of following the Lord, and it must also be the way of a certain faith. That is since God has put us out of work, that unemployment must be good for our spiritual lives. If we are willing to endure and obey, we can be used by God as a blessing to others. We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, those who are called according to His will. Romans 8:28

4. We usually lack the habit of godly discipline. The apostles tell us, “Discipline the body is of little good, but godliness alone is beneficial in all things, because of the promise of this life and the life to come.” This statement is credible and very admirable. “1 Clocked 4:8-9

Letting someone who never usually exercises run 1,000 meters is indeed very difficult and painful. And a person who lacks the spiritual discipline to face the challenge of long-term unemployment is undoubtedly difficult. The so-called spiritual discipline is to consciously deal with the old self so that you can better equip yourself with God’s Word and draw closer to God. For example, stick to morning prayers, memorize scriptures and meditate daily, fast and pray, etc.

In this unpredictable era, almost any industry can rise or die within a generation, so unemployment is a problem that the present generation must face calmly. Even civil servants and senior executives of state-owned enterprises who think they are very secure are no exception because only the kingdom of God cannot be shaken. People’s positions are likely to shake before you retire, and you don’t see that civil servants also have to implement a cruel final elimination system?” Therefore, those who think they can stand firmly must be cautious so as not to fall. 1 Corinthians 10:12

The so-called “easy to know and difficult to do” is true for natural human nature.
If we ourselves are unemployed, how can we rely on the Lord?
The first is to acknowledge before the Lord that you need the Lord’s comfort and experience Jesus’ presence. Because apart from the Lord, each of us will immediately fall weakly. Not only unemployment, but also the pressure of the workplace, but also the need for the main strength. Not only the newly believing body but also the ministers who have been serving for many years. Paul says, “In my own heart I have determined that I will die, that we may not rely on ourselves, but on God who raises the dead.” 2 Corinthians 1:9

Develop a realistic plan. Motivate yourself by memorizing the efficiency booklet, waking up early every day to pray devotionals, sending resumes, going to interviews, exercising, learning foreign languages, attending church meetings, reading classic books, etc. And ask the members around you to supervise and pray for yourself.

Remember that we are committed to the church. People’s emotions are always prone to ups and downs, which is also a normal situation, especially when spiritual life is still young. We can go to church pastors more often. I can assure you that true pastors are more than willing to accompany you and help you.

If there is financial hardship due to long-term unemployment, you can also tell the church. Don’t forget that we are family. “Therefore, you should comfort one another and build one another, as you have always done. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

It is important to seek God’s personal leadership of us and incorporate a vision of God’s kingdom.

Don’t waste God’s opportunity for unemployment, always equip yourself for God’s glory and preparation for better service in the future. Read the Bible, memorize Scripture, and attend church services more than you do at work. Job lost everything he had when he was tried, but he did not complain or leave God, and God later gave him double blessings and, above all, true knowledge of God. Job 42. If we are obedient and truly fearful in our hearts, God will let us know Him better and receive many blessings. Matthew 6:33. If God plans to give us more beautiful jobs, who can stop it?

An unemployment test that tests real confidence scores. Students who have good results in the ground test will be valued by the teacher, and the requirements will be more stringent. If the grades are not satisfactory, you need to find out the shortcomings and grasp the review. As soon as the spiritual test comes out, the body that can say, “Thank the Lord, I am unemployed” should be more thankful and praised for God’s protection and guidance. Those whose faith is weak and uncertain need to let go of their burdens and truly surrender themselves to the loving embrace of Christ Jesus.

Follow the Savior in difficult circumstances.
Behind unemployment is God’s goodwill.
Do not look at the environment, but look only at Christ.

见证篇184.失业…

失业的背后有美意– 李浦旻

因为疫情的原因，现在失业的肢体很多。有些马上就得面对可能破产的危险。有些虽然没失业，但公司不得不大幅度减薪，这也是不小的困扰。今年毕业的几百万大学生找工作，显然会很艰难。面对这些巨大的挑战，人的安慰作用有限。我们需要坚定的信心，需要从神而来的安慰与帮助。

多年以前，到我岳母家吃晚饭，饭桌上全家谈笑风生，非常温馨。饭后，妻子把我拉到一边，对我说：“告诉你一件事，我被开除了。”我说：“哦，刚才倒真没看出来。”她回答：“那当然，我们是信主的。我工作蛮努力，成绩也很好，但是.”

我拉着妻子的手告诉她一个真理：神如果收去一样东西，就意味着要把更好的赐给我们，所以应当感恩与赞美。

失业其实只是人生中很小的忧患，有太多的苦难超过失业。神掌管着这一切。

经文：“（约伯）说：我赤身出于母胎，也必赤身归回。赏赐的是耶和华，收取的也是耶和华；耶和华的名是应当称颂的”。伯1:21

“凡事谢恩，因为这是神在基督耶稣里向你们所定的旨意。”帖前5:18

没有人喜欢被炒鱿鱼，即便是成天嚷着“天下那么大，我想去看看”的人。因为这意味自己的付出被藐视，人生的价值未能体现，甚至会联想到同学与前同事的歧视。这无疑是件令人不快的事情。

如果失业时间很长，就更加令人恼火。对不信主的人而言，本没有敬畏之心，于是开始许多的抱怨。“人的愚昧倾败他的道，他的心也抱怨耶和华。”箴19:3

基督徒在职场，为了神的荣耀而行。凡事忠心，“甘心侍奉，好像服侍主，不像服侍人。”弗6:7。主也必赐下智慧、忍耐与爱心（常体现在团队合作上），使我们能够在公司、学校、商店里为主作美好的见证。虽然如此，有时神会允许失业临到我们，甚至是较长时间的失业，就是会影响我们生活的那种。

对此，基督徒也难免有些困扰与软弱，倒不是因为钱不够用或怕别人讥笑，而是因为：

1、不明白神在其中的旨意是什么。“人若望地，只见黑暗艰难，光明在云中变为昏暗。”赛5:30b。明明自己想在这个岗位上做出番成就来，好使人看见归荣耀与神，结果自己却先被辞退了。看不清神的旨意，就会产生不应有的质疑：“神不是爱我的吗？神的看顾体现在什么地方呢？”

2、自己的计划被打破，不知如何行来荣耀神。什么年龄段晋升到什么级别，什么时候结婚，什么时候买房或出国旅游，我们原本都有自己的计划，生活似乎在繁忙中有条不紊地进行着。可是，如今突然全被打破了。不要说荣耀神，能从软弱中刚强起来就不容易。

3、内心的平安喜乐受到负面的影响。刚失业时，也曾设想可以多读圣经，多去参加教会聚会了。还制定了锻炼与外语学习的计划。可是，随着失业时间的延长，心中越来越烦躁焦虑。

这令原本对自己信心很有把握的我们更加沮丧。属灵光景可谓一退千里，甚至开始祷告说：“神啊，求你怜恤我，因为我在急难之中。我的眼睛因忧愁而干瘪，连我的身心也不安舒。我的生命为愁苦所消耗，我的年岁为叹息所旷废，我的力量因我的罪孽衰败，我的骨头也枯干。”诗31:9-10

从隐约的不安发展到明显的忧虑焦急，其背后的真相是什么呢？

1、我们对真理的认识还很模糊。虽然听过却并未确知真信神在所有的事上掌权。要知道主若不允许，我们的一根头发都不会掉下。主掌权天上地下所有的权柄。太10:29，28:18。是的，神不允许，你定然不会失业。失业也是出于神的美意。雅1:17

2、我们还没有真正地将主权交给神。虽然我们口中称耶稣基督为“我的主”，但事实上只是请神当我们的参谋与后援团。不愿让神带领我们走上十字架的道路，因为老我对此充满了恐惧。太16:24，路14:33。这也是如今许多基督徒对教会若即若离的原因。

3、对走上信心的道路缺乏准备。经上说：“人非有信，就不能得神的喜悦；因为到神面前来的人，必须信有神，且信他赏赐那寻求他的人。”来11:6。我们的计划、付出与成绩有时反而拦阻了自己来到神的面前，因为不愿意让神的手来雕琢我们。

真正蒙福的道路是跟随主的道路，也必然是一定信心的道路。就是说，神既然让我们失业，这失业就一定对我们的属灵生命有益处。如果我们愿意忍耐与顺服，就能被神使用成为别人的祝福。“我们晓得万事都互相效力，叫爱神的人得益处，就是按他旨意被召的人。”罗8:28

4、我们平时缺乏敬虔操练的习惯。使徒告诉我们：“操练身体，益处还少；惟独敬虔，凡事都有益处，因有今生和来生的应许。这话是可信的，是十分可佩服的。”提前4:8-9

让一个平时从不锻炼的人跑1000米，确实非常艰辛痛苦。而一个平素缺乏属灵操练的人面对长期失业的挑战，无疑也是难熬挣扎的。所谓的属灵操练，就是有意识地对付老我，让自己能更好地装备神的话语与更亲近神的行为。比如，坚持晨祷，每日背经文与默想，禁食祷告等。

在这个变幻莫测的时代，几乎任何行业都有可能在一代人之期限内兴起或消亡，所以，失业是当代人必须冷静面对的问题。即便是自以为十分稳妥的公务员与国企高层也不例外，因为只有神的国才是不能震动的。人的岗位都有可能在你退休前震动，君不见公务员也要实行残酷的末尾淘汰制吗？“所以，自己以为站得稳的，须要谨慎，免得跌倒。”林前10:12

所谓“知易行难”对天然人性来说真的。
如果我们自己失业了，该如何靠主面对呢？
首先是在主前承认自己需要主的安慰与经历主的同在。因为离开了主，我们每个人都会立刻软弱跌倒。不仅是失业，就是面对职场压力，也是需要主加力量。不仅是刚信主的肢体，就是服事有年的传道人也不例外。保罗说：“自己心里也断定是必死的，叫我们不靠自己，只靠叫死人复活的神。”林后1:9

制定切实可行的计划。不妨以记效率手册的方式来激励自己，每天固定时间早起祷告灵修，发简历，去参加面试，锻炼身体，学习外语，参加教会聚会，阅读经典书籍等。并请身边肢体来监督和为自己代祷。

记得我们是委身教会的。人的情绪总是容易高低起伏，这也属于正常光景，尤其是属灵生命尚幼小的阶段。我们可以多去找教会牧者谈心交流。我敢跟你保证，真正的牧者都非常愿意来陪伴你、帮助你。

如果因长期失业经济上发生困难，也可以告诉教会。不要忘记，我们是一家人。“所以，你们该彼此劝慰，互相建立，正如你们素常所行的。”帖前5:11

重要的是，要寻求神对我们个人的带领，并结合神国度的异象。

不要浪费神所赐的失业良机，总要为了神的荣耀与预备将来更美的服事好好装备自己。要比上班时更多地读经、背诵经文与多参加教会的服事。约伯受试炼时失去了一切所有，但他没有抱怨、更没有离开神，后来神就赐给他加倍的祝福和最重要的真认识神。伯42章。如果我们内心顺服、真心敬畏，神也会因此让我们更认识他，并得着许多的祝福。太6:33。神若计划给我们更美的工作岗位，又有谁能拦阻得了呢？

一场失业的考试，测试出真实的信心成绩。地上考试成绩好的学生，就被老师器重，要求会更加严格。成绩不理想的，需要找出不足之处，并抓紧复习。属灵的考试一出来，能说“感谢主，我失业了”的肢体要为神的保守与带领更深地感恩与赞美。信心软弱、彷徨不定的，则需要放下自我的重担，真正地投靠在基督耶稣爱的怀抱中。

艰难环境中，以信心跟随救主。
失业的背后有神的美意。
不看环境，只仰望基督。

Testimoni…

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When throwing the pot, you don’t feel that you are throwing the pot, and the chemistry of difficulties and emotions is very high. “I hit someone else’s car door, and blame people for not opening the door, blame the coach for not stopping me” “I was indignant before for carrying other people’s pots, but now I finally made a mistake myself” “It turns out that the virus does not distinguish between nationality, borders, and races, may we be closer to God and distance between people’s hearts and evil”

01 . Where does life not fly pot?

It is often seen that adults teach children to have the courage to admit mistakes to be good children, but what about adults themselves?

When I read Hans Christian Andersen’s fairy tales as a child, I thought how could there be a story of the emperor’s new clothes? It doesn’t make the slightest sense. Looking back now, as many people say, those fairy tales couldn’t be more real, and I was one of the actors! I have always felt that I am a reasonable and fair person, but the self-preservation image and self-protection in the face of mistakes is really the same as the behavior we despise some people today. Does confession really damage majesty and trust? Only by Him can we acknowledge that man is so self-righteous and self-righteous.

Regarding dumping pots, I still remember the car accident that happened at the end of last year. At that time, I hit someone’s car door, complained that the left door of the other party should not be opened, and hated that there was a car mechanic in the car, and the people were frightened and frightened into the hospital. The brother who sold the car to me did not show up, but fortunately, there was still strong insurance to pay, and he did not pay the third liability insurance. Anyway, I hit someone else because of poor car skills and didn’t stop when turning, but I blamed the coach next to me for not stopping the incident in time, in short, blame others. Later, I confessed my mistake with God, cried, and prayed, and God kept the repairer safely discharged from the hospital, and when it came to compensation, everything was within the scope of my ability. If I insist on not admitting my mistakes and blaming others, I think there will be no peace forever.

The original sin is something that everyone cannot shirk, recently the residence was ratified, my first reaction in my heart was the responsibility of my roommate, but think quietly: Am I not responsible? Through life experience, God shines a light on the darkness within me: blame and condemn others without introspection! Is it reasonable if I accuse others of my sin? Why do I see thorns in my brother’s eyes, but I can’t see the beams in my own eyes?

02. I didn’t expect that I would also become a pot backer

“What you do to others, people will do to you.” This statement is very true. Throwing the pot to others, for a moment proud, will definitely suffer its own consequences in the future. People still have to learn to introspect themselves and take responsibility for being deceived, because their own forgetfulness does not mean that others will forget.

I work as a matchmaker on the project, liaising with the planning company and Party A. Once the plan proposes to modify an album, it is then printed and placed in the place where the customer is received. After clarifying the revision requirements, I confirmed with the company’s designer repeatedly, and the final picture was also planned and nodded, so I asked the designer to export the production file and send it to the printing company. Who knew that there would be such a serious problem as ghosting in the printed atlas?

In a hurry, I quickly checked with the designer, and he quickly replied that it was indeed his final export that had made a mistake. Because the file format of the album is very special, as a docking person, I do not have the corresponding software to open and check, I can only rely on my design of myself to be careful enough, not to mention that he finally sent me and the planned final draft picture is no problem.

In order not to delay the process of Party A, the project leader quickly contacted the reprinting, which cost 2,000 yuan. Considering that everyone was not paid well, the leader decided to let me share a small part of the cost with the project leader. Although I can understand this decision, I am really unwilling, because the fault lies entirely with the design, why should we bear it? I even thought that the design punishment was not severe enough, and he might not have a long memory!

Forget it, there is not much money to share, and it will pass after a while. But my heart was really angry that I was punished for my unwarranted mistake for the first time, and I complained to God that I had encountered injustice. Soon, the second batch of printed albums arrived, and who knew that the planning found another big problem, there was a text error on the cover! This can’t be said to be a design problem, it’s the result of me, the docking person, not checking carefully! I’m so ashamed to get such a result. I was depressed and indignant before in order to back the design pot, but now I really carry my own pot.

God does not fail to do amazing things, and people sometimes laugh at fifty steps. Through this incident, I have come to understand the importance of humility, because God’s discipline comes when I don’t know it. Don’t rush to conclusions when others make mistakes, because facing the same mistakes does not necessarily mean that I will be better than others. “Crying with those who mourn” and “shouldering each other’s burdens” are not easy to do. Look at the many things in the pandemic and ask God for mercy.

03. Admit mistakes only mean that you are smarter than in the past

Dumping each other can be seen not only in the family but also in the response of the state. It is a pity that everyone’s focus has been blurred by the “pot”, but they have forgotten the lessons to be learned and the lessons to be learned.

This goal is the cauldron of exterminating humanity, and no one dares to carry it.

Many feelings are hidden in the heart, and many days dare not speak up. Like recently a big black cauldron appeared. Some tourists, overseas Chinese, and international students stranded overseas have returned to China because of the peak of the epidemic. Indeed, a small group of people did not follow the instructions and did not respect the national conditions, knowing that they were sick or concealing the plane, and the virus returned to China. As a result, there was an insult on the Internet, and a human flesh search caused an uproar. I think about how many overseas Chinese and overseas Chinese emptied their wallets, emptied their foreign stocks, and selflessly donated masks and protective clothing to return to China for rescue. We all live on this earth, how can we divide nationalities and boundaries in the face of viruses?

In the face of life and death, how many people can be fearless and carry the weight forward? In fact, most people are afraid of death, including healthcare workers, especially if there is not enough protective equipment, who will protect them? If your family is on the front lines of the pandemic, you will understand that feeling. May we compare our hearts to our hearts, be considerate of the situation and weaknesses of others, and not jump to conclusions.

It is really sad to see a lot of statements on the Internet that incite hatred and hurt each other. Even though Adam and Eve were expelled from the Garden of Eden by God for their sins and dumped each other, God still had their needs in mind. When the cool breeze rose, God made clothes for them to wear, warmed them, and filled the heavens and the earth with love. May we draw closer to God and distance our hearts from evil.

Admitting mistakes only means that you are smarter than you used to be. Acknowledging mistakes is the first step to progress.

The first is to restrain yourself from throwing the pot, people will face the temptation to throw the pot and argue for themselves, and endure this temptation to honestly accept the responsibility they need to bear.

04. Just remembered to find God!

I don’t know when it started, but “dumping pot” has been like a shadow in our lives, and it works seamlessly with us. Now that people around the world are staying home, the pandemic has forced us to face our closest people every day, and sometimes the closest people seem to be “enemies”. It’s not that you have no bottom line, it’s that I just don’t want to endure, just hit a little, and blow up when you touch it.

It is relatively impossible to have no quarrels with my husband every day, and sometimes in order to show their respective attitudes and positions, it is common for both parties to argue with reason. Sometimes I feel noisy ah, tired and panicked, forget it! But when the old self is wrong, I have to fight according to reason, and after fighting, I will fall into emptiness, and I feel very bored, so I think of looking for God! Find God, and I can stand in good times and bad; With God, no matter what wind blows, I know who I am and what my foundation is.

When throwing the pot, I don’t feel that I am throwing the pot, and the chemistry of dilemma and emotions is very high. At that time, the dumping pot was often defined by itself as self-protection with reasonable reasons. It is difficult to say whether it is reasonable or not, but the reasons for one, two, three, or four points of explanation must be made a list. Every bit of it may be a real feeling from my standpoint, so I often get caught up in it and can’t extricate myself.

It is often said that changing a position and listening to other people’s thoughts and feelings is the calmness of the bystander, and I just can’t get out of my feelings at the moment, because my feelings are so real and sad. But unfortunately, throwing pots is like a craft, the more you do it, the more you get started, and finally you get familiar with it and become natural. Without a light in the quiet of times, I can’t stop throwing the pot in any way. Real change is almost impossible to happen in the midst of being asked, and more often at the moment of epiphany. So, I felt that I should give myself more time alone with God and hear what God had to say to me.

When I was a student, I was deeply influenced by the fact that “if people do not serve themselves, the heavens and the earth will perish”, I still remember going to Thailand to teach as an intern in college, and I came into contact with Chinese the gospel of Christ in a Buddhist country, and I met two spiritually mature preachers who had the unconditional love of Christ in them. Life affects life, and I am chosen by the Lord’s love. Everyone prayed, sang songs, encouraged each other, and had a great time.

After returning home after the internship, I faced the severe test of the domestic environment, the persecution of my family, and the puzzlement of my friends… Their spiritual life began to regress and began the path of self-righteous wilderness—thinking that the Bible’s concept of “believing and unbelieving” was outdated, thinking that it was God’s will, thinking that he had God’s blessing. Experiencing the suffering of my ex-wife’s cheating and betrayal in the “wilderness”, the other party’s bottomless indulgence occurred on the basis of my unprincipled accommodation and tolerance!

How to take responsibility for your mistakes? There is only one answer – to worship the Father who loves us in heart and truth, to stop being self-centered and to humbly admit our mistakes! The sovereignty of life is in God’s hands. During the pandemic, I read spiritual books, read the Bible every day with my group members, and now I read 2 Chronicles. If an experience is not deeply self-reflective, it will still repeat the same mistakes.
  

05. Carry your pot and follow the Lord

For the past two years, I have often felt something at the party. The sins of the church community against the Gentiles can be described as torch-eyed and brave and good at war, But brothers and sisters are secretive about criticism. When the question involves those who bear various titles of fiction and reality, they must be called “scholars, celebrities, international topics”; In particular, leaders whose mission is to “make meritorious contributions and expand their influence” will be pressured and counterattacked by their admirers in the name of love: unloving, unqualified, and unified. Where love, truth, and justice are most pursued, cold, unjust, and unjust dramas are often performed.

However, I have to admit that there are perhaps more facts that I ignore or trivialize. Although criticism of people is not groundless, our criticism has been made only out of a hardened heart for a long time. What impact will one’s own remarks, which are close to venting, have on the other party and the crowd, who are also immature? The apostles’ critique of the church was based on spiritual authority. Whether God permits the situation, allows it, or teaches the person to learn through the Holy Spirit and the effect of everything, aren’t these things I have to watch over in prayer?

There can be no liberation without understanding the truth. Without the power to treat the problem correctly, the result can only be dumped!

Jesus carried all the “pots.” “The Lord laid down his life for us, and we know what love is,” and we should bear the pot for our brothers and sisters. Paul says, “I rejoice in your suffering, and for the body of Christ, for the church, to fill in me the lacks of Christ’s afflictions.” Now, take up the “pot” and follow the Lord.

见证篇183.背起…

甩锅的时候可不觉得自己在甩锅，困境和情绪的化学作用很上头。“我撞了别人的车门，还怪人家不该打开门，怪教练没有阻止我”“之前为了背别人的锅而愤慨，如今终于自己也犯了错”“原来病毒面前不分国籍、疆界和种族，愿我们多亲近神，拉远人心与恶的距离”

01 .人生何处不飞锅？

经常看到大人教育小孩要勇于承认错误才是好孩子，可是大人自己呢？

小时候读安徒生童话觉得怎么会有皇帝新装的故事？没有一点道理。现在回想，确实如很多人说的，那些童话再真实不过了，自己也曾是其中的一个演员！从来我就觉得自己实在是挺通情达理、公平公正的人，然而面对错误时那种自我维护形象、自我保护受伤的心实在和我们如今谈论所鄙夷某些人的行径一样。认错真的会损害威严、损害信任度吗？唯有靠着祂，才肯承认人如此自以为义、自以为是。

关于甩锅，去年底发生的车祸我是记忆犹新。当时我撞了别人的车门，抱怨对方左边的车门不应打开，更恨的是，车上还有一个修车工，人受惊吓住了院。卖车给我的弟兄不出面，幸好还是有交强险可以赔，他没有交第三责任险。反正，我撞了别人，是因为车技不好，转弯时没有停下来，但我还怪旁边的教练没有及时阻止事件的发生，总之就是怪别人。后来跟神认错，哭着祷告，神保守那个修车工平安出院，到了赔偿环节，一切也都在我可以承担的范围里。如果我坚持不认错，责怪别人，我想也会一直没有平安。

原罪是每个人无法推诿的，最近住处遭老鼠了，我内心第一反应就是室友的责任，但静心想想：难道我就没有责任吗？借着生活的经历，神光照出我里面的黑暗：责怪、定罪他人而不自省！若我不认自己的罪而指责他人，这合乎情理吗？为何我看见弟兄眼中有刺，却看不见自己眼中的梁木呢？

02. 没想到我也成了背锅人

“你怎么待人，人就会怎样待你。”这句话千真万确。甩锅给别人，一时得意，以后一定会自食其果。人还是要学会自省，负上当负的责任，因为自己健忘，不代表别人会忘。

我在项目上做对接人，联络策划公司和甲方。一次策划提出需要修改一个图册，然后印刷出来放到接待客户的地方。明确了修改要求后，我和公司的设计师再三确认，最终出的图片也经过了策划点头，于是便让设计导出制作文件发给印刷公司。谁知道印出来的图册竟然出现了重影这样的严重问题！

慌忙中我赶快找设计师确认，他很快回复说确实是他最后导出的制作稿出错了。因为图册的文件格式很特别，作为对接人，我并没有相应的软件可以打开检查，只能靠设计自己足够细心，何况他最终发我和策划的终稿图片是没有问题的。

为了不耽误甲方进程，项目负责人赶快联系重新印刷，费用两千元。考虑到大家工资都不高，领导决定让我和项目负责人分担一小部分费用。虽然可以理解这个决定，但我实在不甘心，因为过错完全在于设计，凭什么要我们来承担？我甚至还想，对设计处罚不够严厉，他可能还不长记性呢！

算了，分担下来的钱不多，忍一忍就过去了。但心里真是为自己第一次因为莫须有的错误被罚而忿忿不平，和神抱怨遭遇了不公。很快，第二批印刷的图册到了，谁知策划又发现一个大问题，封面上竟然有文字错误！这下可不能说是设计的问题了，是我这个对接人没有仔细检查导致的结果！得到这样一个结果，我真是羞愧难当。之前为了给设计背锅而郁闷愤慨，如今却真实背上了自己的锅。

神做事不可谓不奇妙，人有时候真是五十步笑百步。经过这件事，我更明白谦卑的重要，因为在不知道的时候神的管教就临到了。别人犯错了不要急于下结论，因为面对同样的错误，并不见得我会比别人更好。“与哀哭的人同哭”，“各人的重担要互相担当”，都不是容易做到的。看看疫情中的许多事，求神怜悯吧。

03. 承认错误，只代表你比过去聪明

不仅在家庭中可以看到，在国家的回应中也能看到互相甩锅。很可惜，大家的焦点都被“锅”模糊了，却忘了要学习的功课，要汲取的教训。

这种目标是灭绝人类的大锅，谁都不敢背。

很多感受藏在心里很多天都不敢发声。像最近一个大黑锅出现了。有些滞留在海外的旅游人士、华侨、留学生因为疫情峰回路转而纷纷回国。的确，有一小撮人不遵守指示没有尊重国情，明知道自己有病还是隐瞒上了飞机，病毒又回流到了中国。于是，网上一片辱骂声，还有人肉搜索掀起轩然大波。想当初有多少海外华人华侨掏空了自己的荷包，掏空了国外的库存，无私的捐赠口罩和保护衣物回国救助。我们都生活在这地球上，在病毒面前怎么能分国籍和疆界呢？

面对生死，有多少人可以做到无所畏惧，负重前行？事实上大多数人都害怕死亡，包括医护人员，尤其是没有足够的防护物资的情况下，谁来保护他们？如果你的家人在抗疫最前线，你会明白那种感受。但愿我们能够将心比心，体恤他人的处境和软弱，不要妄下定论。

看到网上很多煽动仇恨、互相伤害的言论，真的令人很伤心。即便亚当和夏娃因罪恶被神逐出伊甸园，还互相甩锅，但神仍然惦记他们的需要。凉风起了，神做衣服给他们穿，给他们温暖，用爱充满了天地间。愿我们多亲近神，拉远人心与恶的距离。

承认错误，只代表你比过去聪明了。承认错误，是进步第一步。

首先是克制自己不要甩锅，人会面对想甩锅、为自己争辩的试探，忍住了这个试探才能坦诚接受自己需要承担的责任。

04. 才想起找找神吧！

不知何时起，“甩锅”就在我们生命中如影随形，与我们配合得天衣无缝。现在全球的人们都Stay home，疫情让我们不得不每天面对我们最亲近的人，真的有时最亲近的人又仿佛是“仇人”。不是忍你无底线，是我就是不想忍，一点就着，一碰就炸.

跟老公每天四目相对不可能没有争吵，有时为了表明各自的态度、立场，双方据理力争已是家常便饭。有时又感觉吵啥啊，累得慌，算了！但老我作祟，就要据理力争，争完就会陷入空虚之中，感觉很没劲，才想起找找神吧！找到神，我顺境、逆境都可以站住；有了神不论吹什么风，我都知道我是谁，我的根基是什么。

甩锅的时候不觉得自己在甩锅，困境和情绪的化学作用很上头。那个时候的甩锅，常常被自己定义为有合理理由的自我保护。合理不合理不好说，但是一二三四点解释的理由一定可以列个清单。其中的每一点从我的立场出发，或许都是真实的感受，所以常常自己就陷在其中，不能自拔。

常说换一个立场，听听其他人的想法和感受是如何，这是旁观者的冷静，当下的我就是没有办法从自己的感受中走出来，因为自己的感觉是如此真实和悲伤。但遗憾的是，甩锅就像一门手艺，越做越上手，最后熟悉到习惯成自然。如果没有在安静时候的一束光，我无论如何都没有办法停止甩锅的思维。真正的改变几乎很难在被要求中发生，更多的是发生在顿悟的时刻。所以，我觉得，应该多给自己和上帝留一点独处的时间，听听上帝有什么话想要对我说。

学生时代深受“人不为己，天诛地灭”的影响，犹记得大学去泰国实习教中文，在一个佛教国家接触基督福音，当时认识了两个灵命成熟的传道人，他们身上有基督无条件的爱。生命影响生命，我也被主爱拣选。大家一起祷告、唱诗、彼此鼓励，度过了一段美好时光。

实习结束回国后，面对的是国内环境的严峻考验，家人的逼迫、朋友的不解……自己的属灵生命开始倒退，开始了自以为是的旷野之路——自以为《圣经》“信与不信结合”观念过时了，自以为是神的旨意，自以为有神的祝福……在“旷野中”经历前妻出轨背叛的苦难，对方无底线的放纵，是在我无原则的迁就、忍让的基础上得以发生的！

如何为自己的错误负责？答案只有一个——用心灵和诚实敬拜爱我们的父神，不再以自我为中心，谦卑承认自己的错！生命的主权在神手中。疫情期间，我阅读属灵书籍，每天和小组成员一起读经，现在已经读到《历代志下》了。如果一段经历没有深刻的自我反思，依然会重蹈覆辙。
  

05. 背起你的锅，跟随主

近两年的时间里，聚会时常常心有所感。教会群体对外邦人的罪恶，可谓目光如炬，骁勇善战；可是弟兄姊妹之间对批评却讳莫如深。当问题涉及到那些顶着虚虚实实的各式头衔，言必称“学者、名流、国际话题”者；特别是以“建功立业、扩张影响”为己任的领袖们，如果有人胆敢表达对其教导的怀疑，就会被崇拜者们同仇敌忾地以爱为名施压、反击：没有爱心、不够资格、破坏合一。在最追求爱、真理和公义的地方，常常上演出最为冷漠、不公不义的戏码。

然而不得不承认，我无视或轻视的事实也许更多。虽然对人的批评并非空穴来风，然而我们的指摘在相当长的时期中，仅仅是出于刚硬的心。自己近似于发泄的言论，对同样尚未成熟的对方和众人而言，会造成何等影响呢？使徒对教会的批判，凭着属灵权柄。无论神对当下的情况是许可，是任凭，或是藉着圣灵和万事效力去教导当事人有所学习，这些不都是我必须在祷告中守望的吗？

不明白真理就不能得释放。没有正确对待问题的力量，结果只能甩锅！

耶稣背了所有的“锅”。“主为我们舍命，我们从此便知道何为爱”，我们也当为弟兄姐妹背锅。保罗说，“我为你们受苦倒觉欢乐，并且为基督的身体，就是为教会，要在我肉身上补满基督患难的缺欠。”当下，背起“锅”来跟随主。

Testimoni…

🔊 Listen to this  Listen for 10 min

见证篇182.到底…

13岁时我失去了原本属于我的家族企业继承权。25岁我成为跨国投行高管。驱动我追逐成功的是对金钱的忧虑和愤怒。我发现自己得了恐慌症，导致恐慌的根源还是钱。神医治的方式是不断操练我奉献金钱、免人的债。其实没有任何一个金额，能够减少任何人对神的需要。

Testimoni…

🔊 Listen to this  Listen for 8 min

For safety reasons, children have been taking online classes at home since March 1. No one can say when they will be able to go back to school. Teachers and parents complained bitterly. The former is equivalent to suddenly working part-time as an anchor, and the pressure is even greater. The latter is equivalent to having a lesson with the children. For parents, there are several challenges, which are equivalent to climbing the dangerous peak in middle age.

First, I found that many course assignments could no longer be tutored, and the authority of learning in front of children was greatly reduced.

Second, WeChat, QQ groups, Xiao blackboards, etc. constantly remind assigned tasks, making parents who are already busy working at home more hectic. For example, our family has two children who have to be more careful, lest we make the wrong mistake.

The third is that staring at children is very hard to learn. At noon, I had to cook a meal. Children have poor self-consciousness and will steal to play if they do not stare closely. I stared too hard, and I couldn’t bear it.

There is also the re-acquaintance with the child, and finding that the child raised from childhood is both familiar and strange, and even has something that scares him. There are many misunderstandings, anxieties, and struggles between parents and children, but they do not know how to deal with them.

This article is mainly to talk about this point, we need to return to the ancient road and update the construction.

We originally had many expectations for our children, thinking that although the social environment was not good, our children could become good children. The criteria for a good child are good learning, being well-behaved, being obedient, and being versatile. It’s cute now, but it’s a great talent in the future. This view is biased, if not wrong because the emphasis is only on the exterior. Failing to grasp the core point, that is, the need for inner renewal, and failing to even realize the problem.

What we have observed in the past is:

Children work hard and have little time to play games; Because it is still small, it is very simple; Very close to my parents, very cute; Academic performance, although not the best, is smart; The guts are small, easy to be bullied, and so on.

It’s really pitiful to say, although they are biological flesh and blood, they usually spend very little time together. When I open my eyes in the morning, I have to go to school, and when I come back, I am busy doing my homework. In addition to homework, parents and children cannot say a few words. Some parents need to work overtime frequently, which is even worse, and the children are basically asleep when they return home. On weekends, I have to go to various cram schools, busy and busy, worrying about money. I am unwilling, but I dare not do so, for fear that my children will lose at various starting lines.

This Spring Festival, every family was trapped in their houses due to the epidemic, and they got along day and night. Many people still work online and attend classes from home.

From morning to night together, many problems were found:

I was surprised to find that the child was very proficient in playing games and did not know where he learned it;

found that many incisions appeared when the child was chatting with classmates online, and the Japanese cartoons he watched were not simple at all;

Sometimes the anger is very strong, and the older the child, the more likely it is to get angry. Start a fire to become almost unrecognizable;

Wisdom may not be there, there is a lot of cleverness. Loving games is far more than learning, but repeated persuasion only makes children rebellious. A father said to his child that if he didn’t study well, he wouldn’t be able to eat in the future. The child asked rhetorically, since they all eat, why eat hot? Choked so that Dad was speechless for a while.

It is bold to tell lies, and many parents are deceived by their children but do not find out at all.

Shocked, some parents thought, “If it really doesn’t work, let my wife quit and become a full-time wife for a few years to accompany the children.” “Some plan to teach themselves child psychology and educational psychology; Some are ready to install several more cameras at home; Some plan to ask for a tutor after the epidemic has passed. These methods may be effective for a while, but in fact, it is better not to do them. Because instead of finding the real root cause, it exacerbates the problem.

Can children love learning, have empathy, see through the conspiracy behind games, and know how to honor their parents under strict supervision? The answer, of course, is no.

Children are not as deceitful as adults, but they are also defiled by human nature. As Paul said, there is no righteous man, not even one. Urging can only lead to superficial cover-ups, and repression will only lead to a future backlash. Because people have evil thoughts in their hearts since childhood. Unless the heart is renewed, it will not become a good child in the true sense of the word. “You must guard your heart more than anything else because the fruit of a lifetime is emanating from the heart.”

Too many children, accompanied by the biased supervision of their parents, are admitted to prestigious schools, earn a lot of money, and even earn fame and fortune. But eventually becomes philistine, vulgar, and indifferent. The simple and cute child is gone, and the person standing in front of him is at most a successful businessman, official, or famous actor. “You should know that dangerous days will come in the last days. For the man is to be devoted to himself, greedy for money, boastful, arrogant, slanderous, disobedient to his parents, ungrateful, unholy in heart, unaffectionate, unresentful, good at gossip, unable to covenant himself, violent in temperament, and unloving good…”

This is not success, but failure in the true sense of the word. After all, children are not our private property, and parents will have to pay accounts to the Highest in the future.

How can we accompany and lead good children?

1. Parents should have an understanding of the truth. Do not overestimate yourself, and do not overestimate children. To recognize the flaws in human nature, it is also necessary to gain insight into human weaknesses. In this way, there will be no unrealistic demands and will be considerate of the child’s weaknesses.

2. Have the right accompaniment and leadership. The way to do this is to observe how the Creator led Israel with love and mercy as well as righteousness and holiness. Then follow it. First, teach the principle, establish the boundaries, and then according to the agreed discipline of the discipline, the reward of the reward.

3. Parents should have witnessed good examples. Not being able to hold your own phone and then ask your child not to play games; You can’t have the habit of reading, but you need your child to love learning; You can’t honor your parents, but hope that your children will know how to honor themselves in the future.

4. Pay attention to your child. Discover the subtle changes in the child’s heart from the superficial behavior, and make timely adjustments. Let children have trust in their parents, and are willing to communicate and ask for help. Only by trusting each other can we truly lead effectively.

5. The most important thing is to pray, not to provide fine food and fashionable clothing. Let children fear the Lord and gain true wisdom.

We cannot follow the customs of this world and guide our children with wrong values so that they will be lost in the jungle of material desires. Rather, like Timothy’s mother, teach her children wisely in order to receive the best blessings.

见证篇181.在家…

出于安全的考量，三月一日起孩子们在家上网课。什么时候能回学校没人能说得出来。老师与家长都叫苦不迭。前者等于突然兼职当起了主播，压力更大。后者等于要跟孩子们一起上课。对家长来说，存在着若干挑战，等于是人过中年要再攀登险峰。

一是发现很多课程的作业自己已经辅导不了，在孩子面前学习层面的权威大减。

二是微信、QQ群、晓黑板等不断提醒有布置的任务，让在家上班已经很忙的父母更加忙乱。像我们家有两个孩子的更得小心翼翼，唯恐回错了。

三是盯着孩子学习很辛苦。中午还得特地烧一顿饭。小孩子自觉性差，不紧盯着就会偷着玩。盯得太紧，又于心不忍。

还有就是重新认识了孩子，发现从小养大的孩子既熟悉又陌生，甚至有令自己恐惧的地方。父母与孩子之间出现了许多误解、焦虑与挣扎，却不知如何应对。

本文主要就是要讲这一点，需要回归古道，更新建造。

我们原本对孩子有许多期盼，认为虽然社会大环境不好，但自己孩子能成为一个好孩子。所谓好孩子的标准就是：学习好，乖，听话，且多才多艺。现在十分可爱，将来则是栋梁之才。这个观点即便不是错的，也是出现了偏差，因为所着重的只是外在。没有抓住核心要害，即必须要有内心的更新，甚至没能意识到这个问题。

我们以往观察到的是：

孩子很辛苦，几乎没时间玩游戏；因为还小，所以很单纯；跟父母很亲，非常可爱；学习成绩虽然不是最好，但很聪明；胆子很小，容易被人欺负等等。

说起来也实堪怜悯，虽然是亲生骨肉，但平时在一起时间很少。早晨睁开眼就要去上学，回来后忙着做作业。除了功课，父母跟孩子之间说不了几句话。有的家长需要经常加班，那就更惨，回到家孩子基本已经快睡着了。周末则要去上各种补习班，忙忙碌碌，操心费钱。心有不甘，却不敢不如此，生怕自家孩子输在各种起跑线上。

这个春节家家户户因大疫困在屋内，朝夕相处。很多人到现在还是在家网上办公、上课。

从早到晚在一起，就发现了许多问题：

惊诧地发现孩子玩游戏很熟练，不知道是在哪里学的；

发现孩子在跟同学网聊时很多切口出现，看的日本动画片一点也不单纯；

有时火气很大，而且是年纪越大的孩子越容易发火。发起火来变得几乎不认识；

智慧未必有，小聪明很多。喜欢游戏远超过学习，反复规劝却只有令孩子产生逆反心理。有位父亲对孩子说，不好好读书，将来吃屎都赶不上吃热的。孩子反问道，既然都吃屎了，为什么要吃热的？噎得老爹一时说不出话来。

说起谎来胆大包天，很多家长被孩子骗了却根本没有发现。

震惊之余，有些家长就想着“实在不行就让妻子辞职，当几年全职太太陪孩子。”有的打算去自学儿童心理学与教育心理学；有的准备在家里多装几个摄像头；有的计划疫情过去后请家教。这些方法可能一时有效，其实是雪上加霜，不如不做。因为没有找到真正的根源，反而加剧了问题。

是不是孩子在严管监督之下就能热爱学习、具有同理心、识破游戏背后的阴谋、懂得孝敬父母呢？答案当然是否定的。

小孩子固然没大人诡诈，但一样是被玷污的人性。就如保罗所言：没有义人，连一个也没有。督促只能导致表面的掩饰，压抑只会导致日后的反弹。因为人从小时候心里就怀着恶念。除非内心被更新，否则就不会变成真正意义上的好孩子。“你要保守你心，胜过保守一切，因为一生的果效，是由心发出。”

太多的孩子在父母偏颇的监督陪伴下，考上了名校，赚到了大钱，甚至名利双收。但最终变得市侩、庸俗、人情冷漠。单纯可爱的孩子没有了，站在面前的是顶多是一个成功的商人、官员，或者名演员。“你该知道，末世必有危险的日子来到。因为那时人要专顾自己、贪爱钱财、自夸、狂傲、谤渎、违背父母、忘恩负义、心不圣洁、无亲情、不解怨、好说谗言、不能自约、性情凶暴、不爱良善……”

这不是成功，乃是真正意义上的失败。毕竟，孩子不是我们的私产，父母将来要为此向至高者交账。

我们该如何陪伴带领好孩子呢？

1、 父母要有本于真理的认识。不高估自己，也不高估孩子。认识到人性中的缺陷，也要洞悉人的软弱。这样就不会有不切实际的要求，也能体贴孩子的软弱。

2、 要有正确的陪伴与带领。方法就是观察当年造物主怎样带领以色列民，有慈爱、怜悯也有公义、圣洁。然后照着去行。先是教训原则，立好界限，再根据约定该管教的管教，该奖励的奖励。

3、 父母要有美好榜样的见证。不能自己捧着手机，然后要求孩子不玩游戏；不能自己没有阅读的习惯，却要求孩子热爱学习；不能自己不孝敬父母，却盼望孩子将来懂得孝敬自己。

4、 留心观察孩子。从表象的行为发现孩子内心细微的变化，及时做出调整。让孩子对父母有信任，愿意交流与寻求帮助。只有彼此信任，才能真正有效带领。

5、 最重要的是代  祷，而不是提供精美的食物与时髦的衣物。让孩子敬畏主，就能得着真正的智慧。

我们不能随从今 世的风俗，用错误的价值观来引导儿女，以致孩子迷失在物欲的丛林中。而是要像提 摩 太的母亲一样，有智慧地教导孩子，以便得着那上好的福分。

Testimony…

The sudden coronavirus epidemic interrupted Peng Yinhua and his wife’s planned wedding, and the undistributed invitations were still in the drawer. As a respiratory physician at the First People’s Hospital of Jiangxia District in Wuhan, when the epidemic came, Peng Yinhua had the responsibility to go to the front line of the war against the “epidemic”. Chinese New Year’s Eve two people stood two or three hundred meters apart, facing each other, and talked on a phone. People have no way of knowing what they’re saying.

The next day, Peng Yinhua was infected and never had the opportunity to stand in the postponed wedding and be the one who kissed the bride. Less than a month later, the plague snatched the 29-year-old groom-to-be from his lover.

Also taken away by the virus was Wu Shilei. He and his wife Xia Sisi are both doctors and have been together for 11 years. “From the time she was hospitalized until she left, she hid it from her children. But now, I don’t know what to tell my child that I lost his mother. On February 23, Xia Sisi’s death made this big man cry.

An epidemic has made many people feel that love is stronger than death, that the water cannot be extinguished, and the water cannot be submerged. After the pandemic, we need to love each other. However, for others, being forced to be imprisoned at home with their families and looking at each other 24 hours a day also magnifies the contradictions that have never appeared before, and love is not easier because of the epidemic, but more difficult. Some people say: As soon as the epidemic passes, we will go to divorce. Being imprisoned at home, looking at each other and not pleasing each other’s eyes, and unable to love each other, has become a stronger cage for us, as if we can imprison people for a lifetime.

Those who were left

Looking back at December 2019, the movie “The Man Taken by the Light” released on the last quiet days of the year, it seems to have a special feeling. Coincidentally, this film happened to be filmed in Yichang, Hubei Province. Director and screenwriter Dong Runian presuppose an extreme situation similar to the plague in the film: a magical white light suddenly descends, and people in love mysteriously disappear in pairs. Under the sci-fi shell, the camera focuses on those left by the light.

White light seems to be the judge who understands the true meaning of love, dividing people in two according to secret standards. When the pair of “Liang Shanbo” and “Zhu Yingtai” who were summoned by the white light disappeared, how should these people on the earth who were abandoned by love live? The plague is a bit like that white light, enclosing us in a small space, forcing us to ask ourselves whether the person who once swore with us, shared a bed, and met with the white head is still true love.

The film chooses several different sets of protagonists to express different love dilemmas. Liu Jiayi, a rich woman, secretly took the household registration book and planned to get married to her boyfriend. Due to the opposition of their parents, their love suffered setbacks, and the appearance of white light made Liu Jiayi doubt love. Faced with Liu Jiayi’s suspicions, her boyfriend jumped down from the stairs – is it, not true love to die for her beloved? Is this desire to desperately possess the other person’s love? “In order to possess you, I will not hesitate to die”. If you can’t get it, you don’t hesitate to destroy your girlfriend by rape, and then destroy yourself.

Whether there is love between them or not, it is certain that they have passion. Many couples who have been married for many years have even exhausted this passion. Wu Wenwen, played by Huang Bo, and Zhang Yan, played by Tan Zhuo, are a middle-aged couple with a daughter who is in middle school, a family of three, firewood, rice, oil, and salt, just like the neighbors we met walking in the community. The seemingly harmonious husband and wife relationship has cracked with the appearance of white light, or in other words, cracks have long existed, and white light makes it invisible.

Wu Wen’s mother gave a verdict on behalf of Bai Guang: “She doesn’t love you anymore, you don’t love her anymore, you don’t love her anymore.” There are only a few possibilities. Although Wu Wen has always tried to deny it, his heart gradually doubts and wavers about the love between the two. As an excellent teacher, Wu Wenwen has never crossed the thunder pond in the face of the emotional offensive of female colleagues, and their relationship is simply exemplary compared to many bloody couples who eventually break up unhappily.

But on the other hand, two people under the same roof have long lost their passion, and even the bed scene of the husband and wife at the beginning of the film is halfway through the discussion of martial arts title evaluation. It’s a scene like Eliot’s poem, “Thank goodness, this is finally over.” In addition to the evaluation of professional titles, the husband and wife seem to have no intersection, and love is like being in the “wasteland”.

Under the illumination of white light, this bland and tasteless husband and wife relationship can hardly be called “love”. Therefore, Wuwen used “family affection” as a cover in front of his daughter, and created the illusion that love was still there in front of colleagues and friends. Conversely, it is scarcity that camouflage is needed. The cruel years left the couple with only trivial matters, except for the children’s tuition and grades, washing pots and dishes, and living expenses, the two can no longer think of other common topics.

Where is love?

When Wu Wenwen discovered the ambiguous text messages between his wife and his daughter’s classmate Zhao Feng, perhaps on the one hand filled his chest with anger, on the other hand, he breathed a sigh of relief, it turned out that the fault was not me, and his wife was responsible for the loveless marriage. Perhaps the wife is not responsible, the crux of the marriage problem lies with the third party, driving him away, and their marriage will be completely new. Therefore, Wu Wen found Zhao Feng and swore that if Zhao Feng had not appeared, there would be no rift in the relationship between him and his wife. Unexpectedly, Zhao Feng asked: “Why do you think that the problem between the two of you is me, why don’t you face the reality – you just don’t love each other?”

Zhao Feng saw through the hypocrisy of martial arts at a glance, “I used to be as hypocritical as you, and I always felt that if I admit that there is no love, the husband and wife can’t face each other… It wasn’t until this light appeared that I suddenly realized that this light was the final judgment that warned us not to lie again. It tears off the pretense of all of us, everyone is equal and everyone is real. ”

For those who believe that love is the foundation of marriage, it is difficult to admit that there is no love between husband and wife, which means that the legitimacy of the existence of marriage has been fundamentally shaken. For many people, two seem to be difficult to have both fish and bear’s paw, and it seems that to maintain a marriage it is necessary to say goodbye to love, and to find love it is necessary to endure the breakdown of marriage. Wu Wenwen received a confession text message from a female colleague at this time, marriage or love?

The way Zhao Feng and his wife face a loveless marriage is to neither save the marriage nor save love. Since the camouflage has been torn, then the jar is broken and broken, and it falls to the end. Under the empty shell of a marriage, they openly lived a life of sexual promiscuity. Wu Wen was persuaded by Zhao Feng to admit the fact that there was no love between himself and his wife, but he still looked forward to love, so he accepted the confession of his female colleague, intending to rediscover the passion of love outside of marriage.

However, is true love outside of marriage? This question was answered by the director through Li Nan, played by Wang Luodan. When the white light occurred, Li Nan was waiting outside the Civil Affairs Bureau to go through the divorce procedures with her husband, but her husband disappeared. It is neither herself nor the mistress who cheated on her husband and disappeared with her husband. In this way, by mistake, Li Nan began to track down the truth of her husband’s disappearance with Xiaomian to know who his true love was.

In the pursuit, the women who have emotional entanglements with their husband appear one by one, allowing her to discover the harsh reality of love. When he first got married, his husband felt that he had found the other half of his dreams, and he loved Li Nan’s independence. However, time passed, and Li Nan’s independence gradually became a lack of interest in her husband’s eyes, and love slowly disappeared. He began to look for love outside of marriage. He fell in love with the enthusiasm of the mistress, but he couldn’t stand the entanglement of the other party… The husband began to look for love from relationship to relationship, but love was always elusive and came and went in a hurry. Finding love by constantly changing people is like drinking to quench your thirst. In the end, Li Nan’s husband did not disappear with any lover but died unexpectedly in a car accident. Until his death, the husband could not find true love in anyone.

Save yourself before you save the love

When Li Nan learned that her husband was looking for love from a woman, she felt very relieved, it turned out that the problem was not in herself or in the mistress, but that her husband “loves everyone, and no one loves.” In other words, the reason why love disappears is not so much that the other person is no longer cute, but that he is incapable of love.

Wu Wen and his female colleagues opened a house and began a journey to find love outside of marriage. What he will face in the future may be the same as Li Nan’s husband. But the director reserved a little reflective ability for martial arts. While waiting for his female colleague in his hotel room, Wu Wen was anxious and struggling, and at one point wanted to escape. When he finally invites his female colleague into the room, he realizes that it is futile to find salvation outside of marriage, because the crux of everything is not in others, the root of the problem is himself.

Clearing his wife’s affair partner will not save his marriage; looking for another relationship will not save his love, all he needs is to start with himself. The white light that broke into the couple’s life forced his marriage into a corner, and he could not continue to pretend that everything was business as usual. Just like the plague at the turn of winter and spring, it can have the same effect on your and my lives.
                     

“Subconsciously, I want to say that the responsibility for me and my wife not being taken away by the light is not mine. I asked you out to get revenge or for some other reason, but I was thinking about myself. I’m a hypocrite. Wu Wenwen said, “I quarreled with Zhang Yan before, and I hated her.” Even thinking about the brain slipped away, thinking that she encountered some bad pictures… Actually, over the years, I know you like me. Often when I face you, I even think of some dishonorable things. After slowly realizing it, I will take my thoughts back. When I was younger, I had more dirty thoughts, and at that time I would secretly feel inferior, and I would worry that others would detect my thoughts and look down on me. Later, I slowly began to forgive myself and explain all this in terms of ego, id, and superego. ”

After listening to the self-analysis of martial arts, the female colleague agreed, “We are all too confident, we feel that others are hell, what about ourselves?” and “We are no longer in love”, which are the reasons that many couples give themselves. The deeper reality observed by Wuwen is that “we are no longer in love because my brain often slips around because my thoughts are full of dirt.” The bigger truth is that “I am a selfish sinner.” How to redeem a loveless marriage? Like Zhao Feng, husband, and wife fall into sexual depravity together. Like Li Nan’s lover, chase ideal love everywhere outside marriage? The film points to the third way through martial literature: dealing with one’s own problems in marriage.

Wu Wen not only reflected on what he did but more importantly, on what kind of person he was. This brief self-reflection may not be unfamiliar to us. When arguing with our lover, we may also experience the dryness of love in ourselves, and sometimes solve our marital difficulties through fantasies about others. In either case, according to martial arts, the root is that “I am thinking about myself.” “The people left in the camera who are left with light are essentially loving themselves more, despite the different cloaks they wear.

Stop loving people like fish

Contemporary Jewish Rabbi A. Abraham J. Twerski has a wise talk about love.

“The word love has almost lost its original meaning in our culture. A rabbi met a young man who was enjoying a meal of fish and asked, ‘Young man, why are you eating this fish?’ He said, ‘Oh, you love this fish.’ So you scoop it out of the water, kill it and cook it. Don’t tell me you love this fish, it’s not love, you love yourself. You think the fish is delicious and eat it. ’”

In Tversky’s view, most of the world’s so-called love is similar to the love of young people in the story about fish. It means that the man sees in the woman that the other person can meet his physical and emotional needs. At the same time, the other party also thinks that he can feel the so-called ‘love’ from the man. But both parties are just looking for their own needs in each other, not love for each other. The other person becomes a tool to meet their own needs. There are too many so-called ‘loves’ in the world, just the kind of love for fish. Tversky argues that true love “is not about what I get, it’s about what I give.” 

True love must be the experience of selfless pleasure. And most of the couples in the film have lost the ability to get pleasure from sacrificing for each other. Wu Wen’s female colleague said, “We… She continued, “Who can control hell?” Through the mouth of a female colleague, the director may want to express that this love that only cares about himself needs to be saved, but the question is where does salvation come from?

The modern prevalent ethic of self-actualization can destroy marriage. Christian theologian Hou Huoshi said: “This ethic holds that the purpose of marriage and family institutions is primarily to achieve personal fulfillment, to make us whole and happy. This theory assumes that there is a person who is the best fit for us, and if we look carefully, we can find that person. In fact, the point of marriage is… Learn how to care for the stranger you marry. ”

Self-centeredness is the most damaging problem in many marriages, and it is a cancer in marriage. American pastor Timothy Keller believes that there is no way out for today’s culture to preach “self-centered marriage”, and that only when both parties continue to put each other’s happiness before their own can they find their own happiness.

When the Bible refers to marriage, it compares it to a great mystery that symbolizes Jesus’ relationship with humanity. The most important manifestation of the love of husband and wife is a sacrifice for each other, “love is not seeking one’s own good”. The source of this self-serving love is Christ. “Jesus… He sacrificed everything so that we might be united with Him… This practice has completely changed our attitude and way of life. Keller’s advice is straightforward: “What God has done for you in Jesus, you will do for your spouse, and everything else will fall into place.” ”

As in the interactive topic “Love in the Plague Period” before “Realm”, a female doctor once said in the heart: “I have confidence in the epidemic, but I have no confidence in our feelings”. When the white light flashes, when the plague dissipates, may you and I experience self-sacrificing love from the source of love for the rest of our lives and use it to love the people around us.

见证篇180.《被…