男人的天空
Session 1 · At the Starting Line
0:13 Well, thank you for that very warm round of ap‐plause. Let me tell you, it is a thrilling thing for
me to be joined with literally hundreds of you
here this morning to join me on a manhood
journey that we call the quest for authentic
manhood. I tell you, isn’t this exciting? Wasn’t it
exciting for you to walk in here and see literally
hundreds and hundreds of men, probably 1,200
men here in the auditorium here today? And
that is an absolute thrill. And the thing that
thrills me the most is that you’re here to be bet‐
ter men.
好，谢谢大家这么热烈的掌声。我跟你们说，对
我来说，这真是件激动人心的事，今天早上有好
几百位弟兄来到这里，和我一起踏上一段男子汉
之旅，我们称之为“追寻真正的男子汉气概”。我
说，这难道不令人兴奋吗？你走进来，看到成百
上千的男人，今天礼堂里大概有一千二百人，是
不是很兴奋？这真是太激动人心了。最让我激动
的是，你们来这里是为了成为更好的男人。
0:48 And that’s an exciting thing because the world
needs better men. in. Not too long ago, I heard a
story about a man who was in his attic and he
came across a lamp and he was dusting off the
lamp. It happened to be the proverbial lamp
with the genie in it. The genie popped out, said
to the man, I’m going to give you one wish.
What do you want?
这很令人振奋，因为这个世界需要更好的男人。
不久前，我听说一个人在阁楼上发现了一盏灯，
他就擦起了上面的灰。碰巧，这正是那盏传说中
住着精灵的神灯。精灵蹦出来对他说：我可以满
足你一个愿望。你想要什么？
1:12 He began to think about that and he’d always
wanted to go to Hawaii, but he was deathly
afraid of water. So his request was that the genie
would build him a bridge from Los Angeles to
Honolulu. And the genie threw down the wand
and said, I cannot believe you asked for that. I
mean, come on, you could have had all the mon‐
ey that you ever wanted in the world. You could
have had all the power, all the fame, all the in‐
telligence. And besides, that’s a lot of concrete.
他想了想，他一直很想去夏威夷，可是他怕水怕
得要命。于是他就请精灵给他造一座桥，从洛杉
矶一直通到火奴鲁鲁。精灵把魔杖一扔，说：真
不敢相信你会提这种要求。拜托，你本来可以要
全世界所有你想要的钱，可以要所有的权力、名
声和智慧。再说了，那得用多少混凝土啊。
1:41 and you asked for a bridge. And the guy said,
well, I guess I see what you mean. He said, okay,
can I ask for something else? And the genie said,
yeah, what is it? I’d like to understand the femi‐
nine mind.
你居然要一座桥。那人说：好吧，我明白你的意
思了。他说：那我能换个愿望吗？精灵说：行
啊，什么愿望？我想弄懂女人的心思。
Calgary Rainbow Christian Church 兄弟团契专⽤ 01 · At the Starting Line
© Robert Lewis · Calgary Rainbow Christian Church 兄弟团契专⽤ 2 / 21
English 中⽂
1:57 And the genie said, you want to make that
bridge two lanes or four? Well, I want you to
know I’m not brave enough to tackle the femi‐
nine mind, but I am excited about tackling the
masculine life. And that’s us, a group of men
who are here together on an adventure wanting
to discover how to be better men, wanting to
just to unwrap in a sense our masculinity in a
way that would encourage us to live up not
down now i want you to know you’re going to
need some gear along the way anytime you’re on
a journey men love gear and anytime you’re on a
journey you’re going to need some gear and the
gear that you’re going to need are these three
things first of all you’re going to need toughness
now i don’t know what you felt like today trying
to get into the parking lot with with so many
cars and it being dark out there.
精灵说：那座桥你要双车道还是四车道？我得
说，我可没胆量去破解女人的心思，但我很兴奋
能来探讨男人的人生。这就是我们，一群男人，
一起踏上一场冒险，想要发现如何成为更好的男
人，想要在某种意义上拆开我们的男子气概，激
励我们向上活，而不是往下沉。我要你们知道，
这一路上你们需要一些装备。只要是出门远行，
男人都爱装备。只要踏上旅程，你就需要装备，
你需要的装备有这三样。第一，你需要坚韧。不
知道你今天进停车场时是什么感受，那么多车，
外面天又黑。
2:59 But let me tell you, it was easier today than it’ll
ever be. Because when it gets to be wintertime
and it’s dark and it’s cold and it’s rainy, it’s go‐
ing to be tough to get up at 5.30 or 5 o’clock or
whatever time you have to get up in order to be
here. So it’s going to require some toughness on
your part to be here. Secondly, it’s going to re‐
quire some willingness on your part, some spe‐
cific willingness on your part to be real with oth‐
er men. If you want to get the most out of this
men’s fraternity, when we break up into our
small groups, you’re going to have to open up
your life to other men around the subject matter
that we’ve talked about in order to process the
material that we’re going to be discussing.
但我告诉你，今天已经是最容易的一天了。因为
等到了冬天，天又黑又冷，还下着雨，要在五点
半或五点起床就很难了，不管你得几点起床才能
赶到这里。所以你需要有一定的坚韧才能来到这
里。第二，你需要有一份意愿，具体来说，是愿
意和其他男人坦诚相待。如果你想从这次Men’s
Fraternity得到最大收获，当我们分成小组的时
候，你就得向其他男人敞开你的生命，围绕我们
讲过的主题，来消化我们要讨论的内容。
Calgary Rainbow Christian Church 兄弟团契专⽤ 01 · At the Starting Line
© Robert Lewis · Calgary Rainbow Christian Church 兄弟团契专⽤ 3 / 21
English 中⽂
3:41 And that for you will be the most valuable mo‐
ment of the day. And lastly, it’s going to require
courage. courage, and that is the courage that’s
going to be required for you to examine in a very
close way your life as a man. It is hard some‐
times for men to open up their chest and look
inside and see what’s there, and yet there’s a lot
boiling right underneath the surface. But I want
to encourage you to be courageous and take a
hard look at your life as a man.
那会是你一天当中最宝贵的时刻。最后，你需要
勇气。勇气，就是你需要有勇气非常仔细地审视
自己作为男人的生命。有时候男人很难敞开胸膛
往里看，看看里面有什么，然而就在表面底下，
有很多东西在翻腾。但我要鼓励你拿出勇气，认
真审视你作为男人的生命。
4:14 One thing I’m going to promise you, though, if
you take the gear and finish the whole trip with
us, is that this can be and will be for some the
most exciting year of your life. That’s what we’ve
discovered in men’s fraternity for the last 13
years, and I’m expecting to be just as exciting
this year.
不过有一件事我可以向你保证，如果你带上装
备，和我们一起走完全程，对有些人来说，这可
以而且将会是你一生中最精彩的一年。这是我们
过去十三年在Men’s Fraternity中发现的，我期待
今年同样精彩。
4:32 Recently, I got this list of strange facts, and here
are some strange facts to consider. A duck’s
quack doesn’t echo, and no one knows why. 35%
of the people who use personal ads for dating
services are already married.
最近我拿到一份奇怪事实清单，这里有几个奇怪
的事实，大家想想。鸭子的叫声没有回音，没人
知道为什么。在婚恋交友服务上登征友广告的人
当中，有35%已经结婚了。
4:51 Only one person in two billion will live to be 116
years or older. It’s possible to lead a cow up‐
stairs, but not downstairs. A snail can sleep for
three years. No word in the English language
rhymes with month. The average lifespan of a
major league baseball ball, seven pitches.
二十亿人中只有一个能活到116岁或以上。你可以
把牛牵上楼，却没法牵它下楼。蜗牛能一觉睡三
年。英语里没有一个词和month押韵。大联盟一
颗棒球的平均寿命：七次投球。
5:13 All polar bears are left-handed. Americans on
average eat about 18 acres of pizza every day. It’s
physically impossible for you to lick your elbow.
Before this day is over, anyone who hears that
it’s physically impossible to lick your elbow will
try to to lick their elbow.
北极熊全都是左撇子。美国人平均每天吃掉约18
英亩的披萨。人在生理上不可能舔到自己的手
肘。今天结束之前，凡是听说舔不到手肘的人，
都会试着去舔一下自己的手肘。
5:40 But here’s the strangest fact of all. Even though
there is about four billion men on the planet,
most men cannot tell you what a man is. Not
succinctly, not not compellingly, not with a
sense of empowerment that makes you want to
live up as a man.
但最奇怪的事实是这个：虽然地球上大约有四十
亿男人，大多数男人却说不出男人是什么。说不
简洁，说不有力，也说不出那种让你想活出男人
样子的力量。
Calgary Rainbow Christian Church 兄弟团契专⽤ 01 · At the Starting Line
© Robert Lewis · Calgary Rainbow Christian Church 兄弟团契专⽤ 4 / 21
English 中⽂
6:09 Most of us do not have that kind of core defini‐
tion of masculinity for our lives that drive us
and sustain us in everyday life. Now we’re going
to be talking about the quest for authentic man‐
hood in particular here in just a a moment.
What I’d like to do for just a second, especially
for those of you who are just joining with us for
the first time, is give you an overview of men’s
fraternity in general, because men’s fraternity is
a three-year program. And you have that on
your outline.
我们大多数人都没有那种核心的男子气概定义，
能在日常生活中推动我们、支撑我们。待会儿我
们就要专门来谈如何追寻真正的男子汉气概。不
过我想先花一点时间，特别是为了第一次来参加
的弟兄们，把Men’s Fraternity整体给大家介绍一
下，因为Men’s Fraternity是个三年的课程。你们
的大纲上有。
6:38 And let me just show you how men’s fraternity
falls out over the course of three years. First of
all, we call it Men’s Fraternity 1, Men’s
Fraternity 2, and Men’s Fraternity 3. And the
name of Men’s Fraternity 1, which you’re in
right now is called the quest for authentic man‐
hood. It’s kind of a foundational level of the
study of masculinity. Men’s fraternity two is
called a man at work and at home. It speaks to
those key issues in a man’s life. And then men’s
fraternity three is called a man in his world.
我给大家看看Men’s Fraternity在这三年里是怎么
安排的。首先，我们分成Men’s Fraternity第一
年、第二年，和第三年。Men’s Fraternity第一
年，也就是你们现在上的，叫作“追寻真正的男子
汉气概”。这算是研究男子气概的基础阶段。第二
年叫作“职场与家中的男人”。讲的是男人生命中
那些关键问题。第三年叫作“男人与他的世界”。
7:11 It’s looking forward in his life of what’s in the fu‐
ture for him. We called it last year, the great ad‐
venture. There were some 1,200 men who par‐
ticipated with us last year in the great adven‐
ture. The focus of men’s fraternity one is a man’s
core identity. The focus of men’s fraternity two
is a man’s chief responsibilities, those two
supreme pursuits in a man’s life called his ca‐
reer and his woman.
是展望他人生的未来。去年我们称之为“伟大的冒
险”。去年大约有一千二百位弟兄和我们一起参加
了“伟大的冒险”。第一年的重点是男人的核心身
份。第二年的重点是男人的首要责任，也就是男
人生命中两大追求：他的事业和他的女人。
7:39 And in men’s fraternity three, the focus is a
man’s chosen destiny, not the destiny that’s cho‐
sen for him, but if he’s a courageous adventurer,
he chooses his own personal destiny and lives
his life according to the standards that he’s con‐
sidered and he’s picked out so that the world
isn’t shaping him into its own mold.
第三年的重点是男人所选择的命运，不是别人替
他选的命运，而是如果他是个勇敢的冒险者，他
会选择自己的命运，并按照自己深思熟虑、亲自
挑选的标准生活，不让世界把他塑造成它的模
样。
Calgary Rainbow Christian Church 兄弟团契专⽤ 01 · At the Starting Line
© Robert Lewis · Calgary Rainbow Christian Church 兄弟团契专⽤ 5 / 21
English 中⽂
8:03 The chief elements of men’s fraternity one,
which we’ll be going through, is a man’s
wounds. It’s looking kind of at the past that
shaped or sometimes misshapened him. We’ll
be talking about that in the weeks to come. We
also come up with that compelling definition of
manhood that I told you four billion men on the
planet have a hard time coming up with. And
then we overview and look at and pick at a few
of a man’s primary issues. Men’s fraternity too,
it’s how a man engages his work and how a man
relates successfully to a woman.
第一年我们要讲的主要内容，是男人的伤。就是
回顾那些塑造他、有时扭曲他的过去。接下来几
周我们会讲到。我们还会提出一个有力的男子汉
定义，就是我说地球上四十亿男人都很难说出来
的那个。然后我们会概览、探讨几个男人的主要
问题。Men’s Fraternity第二年，讲男人如何投入
工作，如何和女人成功相处。
8:37 And then in Men’s Fraternity 3, what we do is
we help men rediscover what I think is the great
adventure for their life because many men fall
into a rut and miss that great adventure. They
get off track somewhere along the road of life.
Men’s Fraternity 3 is to help them to come back
to that place where they discover not only how
uniquely they’re created, their unique design,
but also the great adventure, and we help them
develop a satisfying life focus.
到了第三年，我们帮助男人重新找回我认为属于
他们人生的伟大冒险，因为很多男人陷入一成不
变，错过了那场伟大冒险。他们在人生路上某个
地方偏离了方向。第三年就是要帮他们回到那个
地方，让他们不仅发现自己被造得多么独特，有
独特的设计，也发现那伟大的冒险，并帮助他们
建立令人满足的人生焦点。
9:07 The major challenge in men’s fraternity one is a
phrase that you’re going to hear a little later on,
and that is the boy in you must die. There is a
transition that has to take place in a man’s life
where he moves from boyhood to manhood.
And if that isn’t a very specific transition in his
life, then even as he grows older, he still relates
more to boyishness than to noble manhood.
There are many men walking around in bodies
40, 50, 60 years old who are still boys, not men.
第一年的主要挑战是一句话，你们稍后会听到，
就是：你里面的男孩必须死去。男人一生中必须
经历一个转变，从男孩变成男人。如果他生命中
没有一个非常明确的转变，那即使他年纪渐长，
他也更像个孩子，而不是高贵的男子汉。有很多
男人顶着40、50、60岁的身体，却仍是男孩，不
是男人。
9:41 So the boy in you must die. Men’s fraternity two,
it’s the man in you must step forward. And in
men’s fraternity three, the adventurer in you
must live. The passion of men’s fraternity one is
seizing your manhood. And that’s what we’re go‐
ing to be talking about, seizing your manhood.
所以，你里面的男孩必须死去。第二年是：你里
面的男人必须站出来。第三年是：你里面的冒险
者必须活出来。第一年的热情是抓住你的男子汉
气概。这就是我们要谈的：抓住你的男子汉气
概。
Calgary Rainbow Christian Church 兄弟团契专⽤ 01 · At the Starting Line
© Robert Lewis · Calgary Rainbow Christian Church 兄弟团契专⽤ 6 / 21
English 中⽂
10:02 And that requires some specific steps of action
for you. Men’s fraternity two, it’s establishing
your manhood. Men’s fraternity three, it’s maxi‐
mizing your manhood. Now as you look at this
chart, what I want you to know about the chart
is just simply this. is men’s fraternity one is kind
of the foundation of a man’s house. Men’s fra‐
ternity two are the walls. Men’s fraternity three
is the ceiling to authentic manhood. And hope‐
fully you can stay with us, not only this year, but
in the years to come, to finish this adventure
that we call authentic manhood.
这需要你采取一些具体的行动步骤。第二年是确
立你的男子汉气概。第三年是把你的男子汉气概
发挥到极致。你们看这张图表时，我希望你们明
白的就是这一点。第一年可以说是男人这座房子
的地基。第二年是墙。第三年是真正男子汉气概
的屋顶。希望你们不只是今年和我们一起，而是
在接下来几年都跟着我们，走完这场我们称为真
正男子汉气概的冒险。
10:40 For some of you today, it’s going to be the begin‐
ning of laying a new foundation for your man‐
hood. For some of you throughout the year,
you’ve already laid your foundation, but there’s
some cracks in it. And so throughout the years
we discuss your manhood, we’re going to fill in
some of those cracks to help it become a more
solid foundation. But that’s kind of the overview,
the big picture of the three years of men’s frater‐
nity. Now we’re back in year one and year one is
called the quest for authentic manhood.
对你们当中有些人来说，今天将是为你的男子汉
气概打下新地基的开始。有些人在这些年里已经
打好了地基，但上面有些裂缝。所以在这几年我
们讨论男子汉气概的过程中，我们会把一些裂缝
填补起来，帮助它成为更稳固的地基。这就是大
致的概览，是Men’s Fraternity三年的全貌。现在
回到第一年，第一年的主题叫作追寻真正的男子
汉气概。
11:07 What I’d like to do this morning is start by just
giving you five of the presuppositions that I’m
going to be working off of that will will help you
understand where I’m coming from as we walk
through this material.
今天早上我想先给你们讲讲五个前提假设，这是
我的出发点，能帮助你们理解我们讲这套内容时
我的立场。
11:18 So here’s five basic presuppositions I’m going to
be bringing to this particular manhood journey.
The first is this. Manhood is in a state of confu‐
sion. That’s going to be one of my basic and
most fundamental premises.
这就是我在这段男子汉旅程中要带进来的五个基
本前提。第一个是：男子汉气概正处于混乱之
中。这会是我最基本、最根本的前提之一。
Calgary Rainbow Christian Church 兄弟团契专⽤ 01 · At the Starting Line
© Robert Lewis · Calgary Rainbow Christian Church 兄弟团契专⽤ 7 / 21
English 中⽂
11:35 Manhood is in a state of confusion. I mean, how
else do you explain why men just a few years ago
suddenly began to move into the woods and
yelled and and screamed, and sweat, and beat
drums, and acted foolish in a lot of ways, look‐
ing for some kind of inner mystical warrior.
Remember guys doing that just a few years ago?
How else do you explain the thousands of
African American men who jumped on buses
and planes and trains and rushed to
Washington, D.C. when Louis Farrakhan said,
we’re going to have a million man march?
男子汉气概正处于混乱之中。不然怎么解释，就
在几年前，男人们突然开始跑进树林里大喊大
叫、挥汗如雨、敲鼓，做出各种荒唐的事，想找
到某种内在的神秘战士？还记得几年前有人这么
干吗？不然怎么解释成千上万的非裔美国男人跳
上巴士、飞机和火车，涌向华盛顿特区，只因法
拉堪说要举行百万男人大游行？
12:10 How else do you explain the thousands of men
who fill arenas and stadiums annually to go to a
promise keepers event. And how else do you ex‐
plain this? Over a thousand men here in this
room here today. What does that all mean? You
know what I think it means? I think it means
right below the surface of men’s lives, there’s
confusion.
不然怎么解释每年成千上万的男人挤满体育馆和
体育场，去参加守约者大会？又怎么解释这个
呢？今天这个屋子里有一千多个男人。这一切说
明什么？你们知道我怎么看吗？我认为这说明在
男人生活的表面之下，存在着混乱，
12:35 And there’s a lack of confidence as to what it re‐
ally means to be a man. I remember a few years
ago talking to a Princeton University researcher.
This particular researcher dealt with marketing
products to different demographic groups. And
his particular specialty was marketing products
to young men. And I remember the statement
he made to me. He said this. He said, Robert, to‐
day’s young men, particularly those 25 and
younger in the United States, are nearing a state
of masculine meltdown.
对于做男人到底意味着什么，缺乏把握。我记得
几年前和一位普林斯顿大学的研究员聊过。这位
研究员专门研究如何把产品推销给不同的人群。
他的专长是向年轻男性推销产品。我记得他跟我
说的一句话。他是这么说的。他说：罗伯特，今
天的年轻男人，尤其是美国25岁以下的，男性气
质已经快要崩溃了。
Calgary Rainbow Christian Church 兄弟团契专⽤ 01 · At the Starting Line
© Robert Lewis · Calgary Rainbow Christian Church 兄弟团契专⽤ 8 / 21
English 中⽂
13:11 They have no clear identity as to their masculin‐
ity or what it means to be a man. They’re drift‐
ing. And underneath the surface of their life is
confusion. In the early 1990s, I noticed that
even among our peers. That’s part of how this
material was developed. I heard guys talking
about things that they couldn’t quite put their
finger on, but it was an unsettleness and a rest‐
lessness that I could see in their lives. In fact,
what we did here at the church is we brought
some men together in little focus groups and
just had them talk.
他们对自己的男性气质，对做男人意味着什么，
没有清晰的认同。他们在随波逐流。在他们生活
的表面之下，是一片混乱。九十年代初，我在我
们同龄人当中也注意到了这一点。这套内容就是
部分因此而产生的。我听到弟兄们谈论一些事
情，他们自己也说不清楚，但我能在他们生活中
看到一种不安和躁动。事实上，我们在教会里把
一些男人聚在一起，组成小型座谈组，就让他们
聊。
13:47 And I wanted to hear what was going on. And
there were three words that kept coming up or
three phrases that I kept hearing from them
about their lives. One was, and they didn’t nec‐
essarily express it just this way, but this is what I
heard. They expressed disappointment with life.
我想听听到底发生了什么。有三个词，或者说三
句话，我不断听到他们用来形容自己的生活。第
一个是，他们未必是这么说的，但我听出来的是
这个：他们对生活感到失望。
14:06 They would tell me that, you know, they got out
of college with all these expectations about life
becoming more thrilling. And as they moved
through life, it just simply became more heavy.
And the things that were fun in their life seemed
to drain out. There seemed to be a heaviness of
responsibility. And when they hit about 40 or
45, it seems like they just kind of hit the wall. all
the things that were promised to them early on
that would give them life, once they’d obtained
those things, they didn’t really deliver life.
他们会告诉我，大学毕业时，他们满怀期待，以
为生活会越来越精彩。可随着日子一天天过去，
生活只是越来越沉重。生活中有趣的东西似乎都
流失了。似乎有一种责任的重担。到了四十或四
十五岁左右，他们好像就撞墙了。早年那些被许
诺能带给他们生命的东西，一旦得到了，其实并
没有带来生命。
14:39 And so a disappointment, a malaise had kind of
settled in over their spirits. They weren’t really
sure what to do about it. They only knew they
felt it. Another word I heard from men was the
word pain. pain. Underneath the surface of
men’s lives, there’s a lot of pain that they haven’t
resolved and they don’t know how to talk about
it because they look at the guys around them
and those guys seem like they’re doing all right.
于是一种失望、一种萎靡笼罩了他们的心灵。他
们不太清楚该怎么办。只知道自己有这种感觉。
我从男人们那里听到的另一个词是“痛苦”。痛
苦。在男人生活的表面之下，有很多尚未解决的
痛苦，他们不知道该怎么说出来，因为他们看看
身边的人，那些人似乎都过得不错。
Calgary Rainbow Christian Church 兄弟团契专⽤ 01 · At the Starting Line
© Robert Lewis · Calgary Rainbow Christian Church 兄弟团契专⽤ 9 / 21
English 中⽂
15:09 They seem like they have it together, but under‐
neath their life, there’s pain. Some of that pain
relates to their dads and unresolved issues
there. Some of that that pain relates to their
dreams and things that never came to fruition,
that they always hoped for and wished for and
wanted, but never came about. Some of it had to
do with failures in their life, things that they had
messed up and screwed up and they didn’t know
how to go back and fix it or get over it.
他们好像一切都很顺，但在他们生活的底下，却
有痛苦。有些痛苦和他们的父亲有关，有些问题
一直没解决。有些痛苦和他们的梦想有关，那些
从未实现的事，他们一直盼望、渴望、想要，却
始终没有成真。有些和他们人生中的失败有关，
那些被他们搞砸、弄糟的事，他们不知道怎么回
头去弥补，或怎么走出来。
15:42 There was pain there that they needed to talk
about, but they didn’t know who to talk to.
Another word I heard was loneliness. Isn’t it
amazing that we’re in a world today where we’re
wired everywhere, we can talk to anybody, we
have access everywhere, and yet with the in‐
crease in technology, there has been a decrease
in intimacy.
他们心里有痛苦需要倾诉，却不知道该找谁说。
我听到的另一个词是“孤独”。今天我们身处一个
处处联网的世界，这不是很惊人吗？我们可以跟
任何人说话，到处都能联系上，然而科技越发
达，亲密却越来越少。
16:08 We really know people less and less, And in to‐
day’s society, men in particular are lonely. They
know everybody, but no one knows them. No
one has access to their life, and they’re not sure
how to get out and get connected in a way that
would be satisfying to them.
我们对人的了解越来越少，在今天的社会里，尤
其是男人，特别孤独。他们认识每个人，却没有
人真正认识他们。没有人能走进他们的生活，他
们也不知道该怎么走出去，以一种让自己满足的
方式与人建立连接。
16:32 I tell you all that because men are in a state of
confusion. Secondly, I believe confused men,
those kind of confused men will create major
problems in life. I don’t think most of us need to
be told that. All we have to do is watch TV or
read a magazine or read the newspaper or hear
the latest statistics from the government and we
will find that most of the social problems in our
society for whatever reason seems to rest at the
feet of men.
我告诉你们这些，是因为男人正处于困惑之中。
第二，我相信困惑的男人，这样困惑的男人会在
生活中制造大问题。我想我们大多数人不需要别
人告诉也知道。我们只要看看电视、翻翻杂志、
读读报纸，或者听听政府最新的统计数据，就会
发现不知为何，我们社会中大部分的社会问题似
乎都落在男人身上。
17:05 For some reason, as strong as we are, We are a
fragile bunch. We are. And most of the marriage
problems that we experience in our world today
oftentimes are men problems. And I’m speaking
as a pastor of 30 plus years. And I can tell you,
that’s the facts.
不知为什么，我们虽然强壮，却是很脆弱的一群
人。真的是。今天我们世界上大多数的婚姻问题
往往都是男人的问题。我是以一个做了三十多年
牧师的身份说这话的。我可以告诉你们，这是事
实。
Calgary Rainbow Christian Church 兄弟团契专⽤ 01 · At the Starting Line
© Robert Lewis · Calgary Rainbow Christian Church 兄弟团契专⽤ 10 / 21
English 中⽂
17:30 When you go to statistics, what you’ll find is
most kids today who are truant or who have
problems also have absent dads or deadbeat
dads. 90% of all the major crimes in the United
States are from men. 100% of all the rapes are
from men. 95% of all the burglaries are from
men. 91% of all the offenses against family or
children come from men. 94% of all drunken
drivers are men. You know, it got so bad in the
90s with these statistics rolling out that Time
Magazine put this cover on the front page of its
magazine.
去看看统计数据，你会发现今天大多数逃学或有
问题的孩子，父亲都是缺席或不负责任的。美国
所有重大犯罪中，90%是男人犯下的。所有强奸
案，100%是男人犯下的。所有入室盗窃，95%是
男人犯下的。所有侵害家庭或儿童的罪行，91%
出自男人。所有酒驾者中，94%是男人。你知
道，九十年代这些统计数据接连公布，情况糟到
《时代》杂志把这个放在了封面上。
18:17 And it says, are men really that bad? I remem‐
ber looking at that and I’d go, what’s wrong with
us? I think it’s because confused men create ma‐
jor problems. After a lifetime of research, the
world-famous anthropologist Margaret Mead
said these words. She made this observation as
she spanned human history in different cultures
and different societies. She said the central
problem of every society is to define appropriate
roles for its men.
上面写着：男人真有那么糟吗？我记得看到时心
想，我们到底怎么了？我想这是因为困惑的男人
会制造大问题。经过毕生的研究，世界著名人类
学家玛格丽特·米德说了这样一段话。她纵观人
类历史中不同的文化和不同的社会，得出了这个
结论。她说，每个社会的核心问题是为它的男人
界定合适的角色。
18:53 That’s the central problem. And why do men
need clear direction and appropriate roles? It’s
because we’re a fragile group. And without clear
direction, without clear understanding of who
we are and what we’re intended to do, confused
men create major problems.
这就是核心问题。为什么男人需要明确的方向和
合适的角色？因为我们是脆弱的一群。没有明确
的方向，不清楚自己是谁、被造是要做什么，困
惑的男人就会制造大问题。
19:15 Thirdly, I believe confused men also settle for
less in their life. Life. Psychologist Rollo May
picked up on this a generation ago. This was in
the 50s when he made this statement, but here’s
what he said. The clearest picture of an empty
life is the suburban man who gets up at the
same hour every weekday morning, takes the
same train to work in the city, performs the
same task at the office, lunches at the same
places, leaves the same tip for the waitress,
comes home on the same train each night,
spends Spends a two-week vacation at the shore
every summer, which he does not enjoy.
第三，我相信困惑的男人也会在人生中将就凑
合。人生。心理学家罗洛·梅在上一代就注意到
了这一点。他是在五十年代说这番话的，他是这
么说的：空虚人生最清楚的写照，就是那个郊区
男人，每个工作日早上在同一时间起床，搭同一
班火车进城上班，在办公室做同样的工作，在同
样的地方吃午饭，给女服务员留同样的小费，每
晚搭同一班火车回家，每年夏天去海边度两周
假，却并不享受。
Calgary Rainbow Christian Church 兄弟团契专⽤ 01 · At the Starting Line
© Robert Lewis · Calgary Rainbow Christian Church 兄弟团契专⽤ 11 / 21
English 中⽂
19:54 Goes to church, but does not really know why he
goes. And moves through a routine mechanical
existence year after year until he finally retires
at age 65 and very soon thereafter dies of heart
failure, possibly brought on by repressed anger,
though I always have the suspicion that he dies
of boredom.
去教会，却不真正知道自己为什么去。年复一年
地过着机械刻板的日子直到65岁终于退休，没过
多久就死于心力衰竭，可能是压抑的怒气造成
的，不过我一直怀疑，他其实是闷死的。
20:18 that was a view of a psychologist years ago and
one of the observations i’ve made though you
may not live in even in little rock and you don’t
necessarily take a train and you don’t necessari‐
ly vacation at the seashore but the point is this
many confused men in whatever setting settle
into an empty rut in their life because they don’t
know what else to live for.
这是多年前一位心理学家的看法。我观察到的一
点是，你也许不住在小石城，你也不一定搭火车
上班，也不一定去海边度假，但重点是：许多困
惑的男人，不管在什么环境里，都陷进了空洞的
老套里，因为他们不知道还能为什么而活。
20:47 Guys, do you understand how oftentimes we’re
programmed? About college age, we think we’ve
got this job we’re supposed to have and money
we’re supposed to make and things we’re sup‐
posed to have and a wife we’re supposed to mar‐
ry. And we move into that thinking because
we’ve been told if we have all those things, we’ll
be alive.
弟兄们，你们明白我们常常是怎样被设定好的
吗？大概到了上大学的年纪，我们就认定该有这
样一份工作，该赚这么多钱，该拥有这些东西，
该娶这样一个妻子。我们接受这种想法，因为别
人告诉我们，只要拥有这一切，我们就会活得精
彩。
21:09 And what happens is is we move into that
process, kind of like on a conveyor belt, and we
move into what I call a standardized manhood
process. And after a while, we don’t like it. But
we don’t know what to do about it.
结果我们就进入了这个流程，有点像在传送带
上，进入我所说的标准化男子汉流程。过了一阵
子，我们并不喜欢。可又不知道该怎么办。
21:27 And we have no higher calling on our life other
than ourself. And that doesn’t satisfy. by.
Confused men settle for less. Fourth, I believe
there is no lofty vision of manhood today that’s
compelling to men. The kind of manhood that
calls men up.
除了自己，我们的生命没有更高的呼召。而那是
无法让人满足的。困惑的男人只能将就。第四，
我认为今天没有一个崇高的男子汉异象能吸引男
人，那种能把男人往上提升的男子汉气概。
21:54 Several years ago, a frustrated young man wrote
me this following poem. He said this, what is a
man? Is he someone Is he someone who’s strong
and tall? Or is he taunt and talented as he plays
ball? Is he someone who is hardened enough,
who smokes and drinks and swears enough?
几年前，一个苦闷的年轻人写给我下面这首诗。
他说：什么是男人？是那个又高又壮的人吗？还
是在球场上精瘦又有天分的人？是够强硬、抽烟
喝酒骂脏话样样来的人吗？
Calgary Rainbow Christian Church 兄弟团契专⽤ 01 · At the Starting Line
© Robert Lewis · Calgary Rainbow Christian Church 兄弟团契专⽤ 12 / 21
English 中⽂
22:16 Is he someone who chases women hard with a
quest to conquer, but without dropping his
guard? Is he someone with a good business
mind, who gets ahead of the others with his nose
to the grind? Or is he someone who tries his best
while not really caring for any of the rest. What
is a man?
是拼命追女人、一心要征服，却从不放下戒心的
人吗？是有商业头脑、埋头苦干，把别人甩在身
后的人吗？还是尽力而为，却根本不在乎其他人
的人？什么是男人？
22:37 Does anyone know? Tell me. Who is the proto‐
type? To whom shall I go? I think there are a lot
of young men today, maybe not expressing it
that way, but at the core of their existence,
they’re saying, who is the prototype of real man‐
hood? And to whom shall we go?
有谁知道吗？告诉我，谁是那个典范？我该去找
谁？我想今天有很多年轻人，也许不会这样表
达，但在他们生命的深处，都在问：谁是真正男
子汉的典范？我们该去找谁？
23:03 In 1 Corinthians 13, the Apostle Paul makes this
statement. He says, when I was a child, I used to
speak as a child and think as a child and reason
as a child. But when I became a man, I gave up
childish things.
在哥林多前书13章，使徒保罗说了这样一句话。
他说：我作孩子的时候，话语像孩子，心思像孩
子，意念像孩子；既成了人，就把孩子的事丢弃
了。
23:18 You know, for years I read that verse and there
was something captivating about that verse.
There was something that pulled me towards
that verse. I wanted to go into that verse. In fact,
I wanted to get with Paul because he made this
statement. but when I became a man and I
wanted to stop him there and say, how did you
do that?
你知道，多年来我读这节经文，总觉得它有种吸
引人的地方。有种力量把我拉向这节经文。我想
走进这节经文里。其实我很想找保罗聊聊，因为
他说了这句话：“既成了人”，我想在那里打断
他，问他：你是怎么做到的？
23:38 How did you become a man? And when you be‐
came a man, you said you put away childish
things. What were those things that you put
away? And what new things did you embrace?
And Paul, did they give you life?
你是怎么成为男人的？你说成了人以后，就把孩
子的事丢弃了。你丢弃的是哪些事？你又拥抱了
哪些新的东西？保罗，那些带给你生命了吗？
23:53 I know I had fun when I was a kid. Can you have
fun as a man? Is there a better calling than
childhood? childhood and boyishness? Is there
something to pull me up to a higher mountain
where the challenges are just as thrilling and the
view is just as magnificent and even more so?
Can you get me there?
我知道我小时候玩得很开心。做了男人还能开心
吗？有没有比童年和孩子气更好的呼召？有没有
什么能把我拉上更高的山，那里的挑战同样刺
激，风景同样壮丽，甚至更壮丽？你能带我到那
里吗？
Calgary Rainbow Christian Church 兄弟团契专⽤ 01 · At the Starting Line
© Robert Lewis · Calgary Rainbow Christian Church 兄弟团契专⽤ 13 / 21
English 中⽂
24:19 That’s what I wanted to know. I want to know
how to become a man. I want to know what real
real men do and how they feel and how they act.
But it doesn’t seem anyone knows today how to
answer that question, what is a man? Which
leads me to my premise number five, and it’s
this. I believe the Bible has helpful insights to all
of the above, to all the other four presupposi‐
tions. Now, I’m aware, by the way, that there are
all kinds of men here in the audience today.
这就是我想知道的。我想知道怎样成为一个男
人。我想知道真正的男人做什么、有什么感受、
怎么行事。可今天似乎没有人知道怎么回答这个
问题：什么是男人？这就引出我的第五个前提，
就是：我相信圣经对以上所有问题都有帮助的洞
见，对其他四个前提都有。顺便说一下，我知道
今天在座的有各式各样的男人。
24:54 Some of you are Baptists. some of you are
Episcopal, some of you are Jews, some of you
are Catholics. Some of you come from a very
mixed bag. We’ll just call you methylbacterians.
Okay. You come from everywhere. You’ve had
all kinds of mixture in your past.
有些人是浸信会的。有些是圣公会的，有些是犹
太人，有些是天主教徒。有些人的背景五花八
门。我们就叫你们“卫浸长老会”吧。好吧，你们
来自四面八方。过去的背景什么都混过。
25:11 That’s okay. There are some of you here who are
non-church goers. In fact, there are some of you
here who are today who are cynical about reli‐
gion altogether. And quite frankly, if you and I
sat sat down and talked for a little while, there’d
probably be some really good reasons why
you’re cynical.
没关系。在座有些人是不上教会的。事实上，今
天在座有些人对宗教根本就很不屑。坦白说，如
果你我坐下来聊一会儿，你之所以不屑，可能确
实有很充分的理由。
25:31 Let me put you all at ease just for a moment. I
have no religious axes to grind here. You’re not
going to hear me do that. I’m not going to cram
my religion down your throat. This is a man‐
hood journey, not a church service. Aren’t you
glad about that?
我先让大家放个心。我在这里没有什么宗教目的
要推销。你们不会听到我这么做。我不会把我的
宗教硬塞给你们。这是一趟男子汉之旅，不是一
场礼拜。是不是松了一口气？
25:51 This is a manhood journey. As Bill said, no of‐
ferings, no plea for church memberships. We’re
not going to hawk anything. The only reason
we’re here is because we want to help you be‐
come better men. And I think that’s why you’re
here as well. Now, I’m going to use the Bible
from time to time, and I’m going to use it be‐
cause it’s great literature, first of all.
这是一趟男子汉之旅。就像比尔说的，不收奉
献，也不拉人入会。我们不会推销任何东西。我
们来这里唯一的原因，就是想要帮助你们成为更
好的男人。我想这也是你们来这里的原因。我会
不时引用圣经，首先，因为它是伟大的文学作
品。
Calgary Rainbow Christian Church 兄弟团契专⽤ 01 · At the Starting Line
© Robert Lewis · Calgary Rainbow Christian Church 兄弟团契专⽤ 14 / 21
English 中⽂
26:15 Secondly, it has time-tested wisdom in it that’s
been proven out over the ages. And thirdly, it’s
because we need its help. We really do. So these
are my five presuppositions. Manhood is in a
state of confusion. Confused men create major
problems. Confused men settle for less. There’s
no lofty vision of manhood calling us up.
第二，它包含了历经时代考验的智慧。第三，因
为我们需要它的帮助。真的需要。这就是我的五
个前提。男子汉气概正处于混乱之中。困惑的男
人制造大问题。困惑的男人甘于平庸。没有一个
崇高的男子汉愿景在召唤我们向上。
26:41 I mean, really, do you watch commercials today?Because they speak to our culture. And you know what you see about manhood when you look into the face of commercials? You see the doofus standing there with his tennis racket getting hit in the head with the ball.
说真的，你们看过现在的广告吗？因为广告反映了我们的文化。你知道从广告里看到的男人是什么样的吗？你看到一个傻瓜拿着网球拍站在那里，脑袋被球砸中。
26:55 You see the other guy in the beer commercial looking past these women mesmerized by a bot‐tle of beer. That’s manhood in the 21st century. And let me tell you, I laugh too. But when I look at the pain in our world, I stop laughing.
你看到啤酒广告里另一个家伙对美女视而不见，却对一瓶啤酒看得入迷。这就是21世纪的男子汉。我跟你说，我也会笑。可是当我看到这个世界的痛苦，我就笑不出来了，
27:18 because behind that is a vacuum that’s killing us. And we want to go up, don’t we? We want to go up. And I think the Bible is going to help us get there as well as the other material that we’ll be talking about in the next few weeks. Now, what I’d like to do for just a moment to get us started on our journey, I want to look at some of the historical roots of our present crisis in masculinity and basically there are three events I want to just touch on just for a moment.
因为这背后是一个正在毁掉我们的真空。我们都想往上走，不是吗？我们想往上走。我相信圣经会帮助我们到达那里，还有接下来几周我们要谈的其他材料也会。现在，为了开启我们的旅程，我想花点时间看看当今男性危机的一些历史根源，基本上有三个事件，我想简单谈一下。
27:50 The first, if you look on your outline, is theIndustrial Revolution that occurred at the beginning of the 20th century. Now, why is the Industrial Revolution important? Because at that moment, 100 years ago, the Industrial Revolution dramatically changed the family. Large numbers of dads for the first time began to leave home, began to leave home for work. They used to stay on the farm and work. But now they leave home and they go out into the dark in the early morning hours to a factory.
第一个，请看你们的大纲，就是二十世纪初发生的工业革命。为什么工业革命很重要？因为一百年前的那个时刻，工业革命彻底改变了家庭。大量的父亲第一次开始离开家，离开家去上班。他们以前都留在农场干活。但现在他们离开家，天还没亮就出门去工厂。
28:21 And with that move, the side-by-side relation‐ ship that dads naturally had with their sons was broken for the first time. Up until that point, a young man would get up and kind of live his life next to a nurturing dad.
随着这个转变，父亲和儿子之间那种自然而然肩并肩的关系，第一次被打破了。在那之前，一个年轻人起床后，就在一位悉心栽培他的父亲身边过日子。
28:37 He would see his dad in the best hours of hisday. He would see his dad’s heroism out on the farm or his creativity or his work ethic or what‐ever else because he was next to his dad. But with the Industrial Revolution, all that stopped. Now when he got up in the morning, many times his dad wasn’t there. And when his dad came home, he came home exhausted at the end of the day and all he had left was a few meager tidbits for the family.
他会看到父亲一天中最好的时光。他会看到父亲在农场上的英勇、他的创造力，或他的职业操守等等，因为他就在父亲身边。但工业革命让这一切都停止了。现在他早上起床时，父亲常常不在。等到父亲回家，他已经累了一整天，筋疲力尽，留给家人的只剩一点点残余。
29:06 In fact, many times what came home at the end of the day was an exhausted, tired, grumpy dad who wanted to be left alone. And some of you grew up in a home just like that. Mom, not dad,was left to head up the family. And in many cases, she did it heroically. But a son’s world be‐ came a world in which he was shaped by women.
事实上，很多时候一天结束回到家的，是一个筋疲力尽、疲惫暴躁、只想一个人待着的父亲。你们当中有些人就是在这样的家庭长大的。带领这个家的，变成了母亲，而不是父亲。很多时候，她做得很了不起。但儿子的世界变成了一个由女性塑造他的世界。
29:31 Mom was there all the time for him, but she was a woman. He went to school in an elementary school that was probably taught at least first through sixth grade by women. When he went to Sunday school on Sunday, his class was probably taught by a woman.
妈妈一直都在他身边，但她是女人。他上的小学，一到六年级的老师大概都是女性。星期天他去主日学，教他的很可能也是女老师。
29:47 His world was shaped by women. And as for his masculinity, it was what boys made up together because dads weren’t there. And that boyish definition of masculinity is what they began to take out into their adult life.
他的世界是由女性塑造的。至于他的男性气质，那是男孩们凑在一起自己编出来的，因为父亲不在。而这种男孩式的男性定义，就被他们带进了成年生活。
30:05 And it was anything but noble. But that’s all that they knew. Sociologist Alan Carlson, who was president of the Rockford Institute, which is a think tank in Illinois, made this observation. He said, today we are at the end of the deconstruction of patriarchy, which has been going on since the turn of the 20th century.
那绝对谈不上高尚。但他们只知道这些。社会学家艾伦·卡尔森，曾任罗克福德研究所所长，那是伊利诺伊州的一个智库，他有这样一段观察。他说，今天我们正处在父权瓦解的尾声，这个过程从二十世纪初就开始了。
30:26 And that’s because the industrial age impacted manhood. The second major event was World War II, which further added to the disconnect between fathers and sons. You know, World War II changed a generation of men. And probably no book expresses that better than one that I read this summer by Tom Brokaw, called The Greatest Generation. And you know what? But when you read this book, you begin to think of these men as the greatest generation.
这是因为工业时代冲击了男子汉气概。第二个重大事件是第二次世界大战，它进一步加深了父子之间的隔阂。你知道，二战改变了一整代男人。也许没有哪本书比这本表达得更好，就是我今年夏天读的汤姆·布罗考写的《最伟大的一代》。你知道吗？当你读这本书时，你会开始认为这些人真是最伟大的一代。
30:57 Because what they did is they exchanged their youth for war. And their supreme virtues that they carried with them their whole life was sacrifice and duty. And they brought those back from the war. And because of that, they made the United States the greatest nation on earth. But here’s what I want you to know about where we are today. day. What worked for these men in war did not work well with the family.
因为他们把青春献给了战争。而他们最崇高的美德，也是他们一辈子带在身上的，就是牺牲和责任。他们把这些从战场上带了回来。正因如此，他们让美国成为世界上最伟大的国家。但关于我们今天的处境，我想让你们知道一件事。这些人在战场上管用的东西，在家庭里却不太管用。
31:29 Most sons of World War II veterans felt that their dads worked too much, took their fathering too lightly, and disconnected from them, especially emotionally. And I think there was good reason for that, because I think if you’re a man in a war, you have to disconnect from your your emotions and it’s hard to reconnect. And they brought back that disconnect and all they knew was to work hard and they did. But they didn’t connect oftentimes, especially with their sons.
大多数二战老兵的儿子都觉得，父亲工作太多，太不把做父亲当回事，跟他们很疏离，尤其是在情感上。我想这是有原因的，因为我认为一个男人上了战场，就必须切断自己的情感，之后很难再连接回来。他们把这种隔绝带了回来，他们只知道拼命工作，他们也确实这么做了。但他们常常无法与人连接，尤其是和儿子。
32:04 So the industrial age took dad away from thehome. It created distant dads, but World War II took many dads out of their sons’ lives emotionally and created disconnected dads. And then came a third sweeping event in the 1970s, what I’ll call feminism.
所以工业时代把父亲从家里带走了，造就了疏远的父亲，而二战则在情感上把许多父亲从儿子的生命中带走了，造就了失联的父亲。接着，在七十年代出现了第三个席卷性的事件，我称之为女权主义。
32:23 Now, feminism is a great social movement thathas recast all of human society or American society in the last 40 years. And feminism originally sought equality for women with men, and that’s a good thing, because women are equal with men. But over time, feminism’s quest for equality also became the the pursuit of sameness.
女权主义是一场伟大的社会运动，在过去四十年里重塑了整个人类社会，或者说美国社会。女权主义起初追求的是女性与男性平等，这是好事，因为女人和男人本来就是平等的。但随着时间推移，女权主义对平等的追求也变成了对相同的追求。
32:50 And that’s not a good thing. And it’s left us as men terribly confused because now we’re not sure how to act anymore. We’re not sure what our role is. In fact, there’s even a question of whether men even have a role.
这就不是好事了。这让我们男人极其困惑，因为现在我们不知道该怎么做了。我们不确定自己的角色是什么。事实上，甚至有人质疑男人到底还有没有角色。
33:10 And what’s unique about a man? No one seems willing or courageous enough to want to answer that. And anybody that’s brave enough to even broach the subject is punished by society for trying to break out of this sameness direction that our culture seems bent on pursuing. So it leaves men confused because in a world of sam ness ，no one seems to know for sure just what a man is. And that’s devastating.
男人独特的地方是什么？似乎没有人愿意、也没有人有勇气回答这个问题。任何敢于提起这个话题的人，都会受到社会的惩罚，因为他们试图打破我们文化一心追求的这种相同化方向。所以男人很困惑，因为在一个追求相同的世界里，似乎没人确切知道男人到底是什么。这是毁灭性的。
33:40 And the reason it’s devastating is because we’re back to Margaret Mead’s quote. The role of every society is to find appropriate roles for the men. But if they have no roles, then they’re left adrift. And so here we are as men on the fron end of the 21st century, after experiencing a century of distant dads and a half century of disconnected dads and a generation of social chaos with women, and you finally come to the place and you go, no wonder we’re confused.
之所以是毁灭性的，就要回到玛格丽特·米德那句话。每个社会的任务，就是为男人找到合适的角色。但如果他们没有角色，就只能随波漂流。于是，我们这些男人站在二十一世纪的开端，经历了一个世纪疏远的父亲、半个世纪失联的父亲，以及与女性之间一整代的社会混乱，最后你终于会说：难怪我们这么困惑，
34:14 we’re not sure about anything really in our life. And what we need is some help. Now let me finish up just making what I think are some bold promises to you. If you stick it out with me over the course of the whole year, and I really hope that you do, because if you do this, I think I can deliver on these five promises. Let me mention them to you real quickly. First of all, you will have a clear definition of manhood.
我们对生活中的任何事都不太确定。我们需要的是一些帮助。最后，我想向你们做几个我认为相当大胆的承诺。如果你能跟着我坚持上完一整年，我真心希望你能做到，因为如果你做到了，我想我能兑现这五个承诺。我很快地跟你们说一下。第一，你会对男子汉气概有一个清晰的定义。
34:41 Remember at the beginning we said, most men can’t tell you succinctly with a compelling kind of passion what a man is. If you’ll stick with me, I can promise you this. You will leave here. You will leave here with a definition of manhood that you’re excited about. And not only excited about, excited about living your life far and excited about telling your sons about. out. That’s the kind of definition we want to craft together in our time together. Secondly, you will develop a new manhood language.
记得一开始我们说过，大多数男人没法简洁又充满激情地告诉你，男人到底是什么。如果你坚持跟着我，我可以向你保证：你离开这里的时候，会带着一个让你兴奋的男子汉定义离开。不只是兴奋而已，而是兴奋地照着它活出你的人生，也兴奋地把它告诉你的儿子。这正是我们希望在这段时间里一起打造出来的定义。第二，你会建立一套全新的男子汉语言。
35:19 You see, in our modern culture, we don’t have that language. And because we don’t have a language, our souls kind of stay starved for some substance about real manhood issues. And without that kind of substance, what we end up doing is we end up talking about our boat or the Razorbacks or the Volunteers or the Longhorns
or about our business and we stay right here onthe surface.
你看，在现代文化里，我们没有这样的语言。正因为没有这样的语言，我们的灵魂一直渴求关于真男人问题的实质内容。没有这种实质内容，我们最后就只会聊自己的船，或者野猪队、志愿者队、长角牛队，或者聊生意，一直停留在表面上。
35:47 But we never talk about anything of destiny.Soulish kind of stuff that feeds the masculine soul. We have to build new bridges to one an‐other. And those new bridges are built on a manhood language. And so over the course of this year, you’re going to hear terms like servant leader and feminized man and rejecting passivity and leading courageously. You’re going to hear about conventional manhood and man‐hood ceremonies and manhood wounds and things like that.
却从来不谈任何关乎命运的事，那些能滋养男性灵魂的、触及灵魂的东西。我们必须彼此之间搭起新的桥梁，而这些新桥梁就建立在男子汉语言之上。所以在这一年里，你会听到像仆人式领袖、女性化的男人、拒绝被动、勇敢带领这样的词。你会听到传统的男子汉气概、男子汉仪式、男子汉的伤痛之类的东西。
36:22 You’re going to hear phrases like the boy in you must die. You’re going to hear other phrases like the king in you is what decides. Or if you’re not being admired by another man, you’re being hurt every day.
你会听到像“你里面的男孩必须死去”这样的话。你还会听到“你里面的君王才是做决定的那一位”。或者“如果没有另一个男人做你的导师，你每天都在受伤害”。
36:35 And when you hear those phrases with one another, when you hear that this guy needs to unpack, you’ll know exactly what you’re talking about. And the other man you’re telling it to willknow exactly what you’re saying. And that cre‐
ates bridges of depth into the masculine soulthat helps us live up rather than down.
当你们彼此之间听到这些话，当你听到某个人需要好好梳理一下，你会清楚知道在说什么，听你说话的另一个男人也会完全明白你的意思。这就搭起了通往男性灵魂深处的桥梁，帮助我们向上活，而不是向下沉沦。
36:58 That’s what men’s fraternity can do for you, andI think I can deliver on that. that. Thirdly, you will make some significant personal discoveries about yourself. You know, there’s a lot, as I’ve said, about manhood that lies right beneath the surface of men’s lives, but you know what we have on us? We have a lid on. Just like streets have those manhole covers, we have our own manhole cover over our lives because it’s scary down under there.
这就是Men’s Fraternity能为你做的，我想我能兑现这一点。第三，你会有一些重大的个人发现，关于你自己的。你知道，就像我说过的，有很多关于男子汉气概的东西就藏在男人生活的表面之下，但你知道我们身上有什么吗？我们盖着一个盖子。就像街道上有那些井盖一样，我们的生命也盖着自己的井盖，因为底下让人害怕。
37:26 And sometimes if you watch government workers who tend our streets, they have a special instrument to pull that manhole cover up because otherwise you can’t pry it up. It’s just too heavy. I think that’s the way it feels for a lot of men’s lives. It’s just too heavy to get that off so I can look inside.
有时候你看那些维护街道的市政工人，他们有一种专门的工具来掀开井盖，因为不然根本撬不开，实在太重了。我想很多男人的生命就是这种感觉，太重了，掀不开，没法往里面看。
37:43 I think what men’s fraternity becomes is the tool to help you pull the lid open and look inside. And though it may seem fearful at first, what I want you to know, it’s the keys that are down in there to unlock your life.
我认为Men’s Fraternity就成了那个工具，帮你把盖子掀开，往里面看。虽然一开始可能会让人害怕，但我想让你知道，开启你生命的钥匙就在那底下。
37:57 And that’s why we need to get down in there and find them because they can open up a whole new adventure for you. And I think over the course of this year, you will make some exciting discoveries, some significant ones about yourself.
所以我们需要下到那里去把它们找出来，因为它们能为你开启一段全新的冒险。我相信在这一年里，你会对自己有一些令人兴奋的、重大的发现。
38:11 Fourth, you will make some new friends here who are pursuing a common goal. And you’ll do that both in the large group and in the small group. But I want to particularly reinforce what Bill said about the small group. You need to be in a small group. And if you’re in a small group, and if you have the courage to open up your life and take a look inside and be willing to reveal yourself to other men, there are going to be some new connections made with other men.
第四，你会在这里结交一些追求共同目标的新朋友。无论是在大组还是在小组里都会。但我特别想强调一下比尔刚才讲的小组。你需要加入一个小组。如果你在小组里，而且你有勇气敞开生命、往里面看，愿意向其他男人展现真实的自己，你就会和其他男人建立起新的连接。
38:37 Some of the greatest friendships in life over the last 13 years started in men’s fraternity. Just guys talking to one another, getting to know one another, being encouraged by one another. So I want to really encourage you to go into the small groups and be a part of that. Most men tell us at the end of men’s fraternity that that was the most meaningful thing that they did. They joined a small group and they began to connectwith men at a deeper level.
过去13年来，人生中一些最美好的友谊都是从Men’s Fraternity开始的。就是一群人彼此交谈、彼此认识、彼此鼓励。所以我真的要鼓励你们加入小组，成为其中的一员。大多数人在Men’sFraternity结束时都告诉我们，那是他们做过最有意义的事。他们加入了小组，开始和其他男人有了更深层的连接。
39:04 And then the last thing is that you will have your own personalized plan for achieving authentic manhood. Now Bill said we’re not going to take an offering and we’re not going to hawk the church or anything else, but I am going to ask you to do one thing. I’m willing to work for you for 23 weeks, but I need you to do one thing for me. Over the course of the year, we’re going to give you this. In fact, I’ll explain this in two weeks to you. Your manhood plan.
最后一点，你会有一个属于你自己的个人计划，
去活出真正的男子汉气概。比尔说过，我们不收奉献，也不推销教会或别的什么，但我要请你们做一件事。我愿意为你们付出23周，但我需要你们为我做一件事。在这一年里，我们会发给你们这个。其实两周后我会给你们详细讲解。你的男子汉计划。
39:33 Because the thing that we’re trying to do is es‐ tablish a new manhood identity for every man in here. But to do that, you need to do that work for yourself. You need to have your own person‐ al plan for manhood. So in a couple of weeks, we’re going to give you this sheet, and then you’re going to use this as a draft all year to take the things that you’re hearing week to week in men’s fraternity, and you’re going to process it for your life. It’s going to ask you to look back on your life and what shaped you as a man.
因为我们想做的，就是为在座每个男人建立一个全新的男子汉身份。但要做到这一点，你得自己下功夫。你需要有一份属于自己的男子汉计划。
所以几周后，我们会发给你们这张表，你们整年都要把它当作草稿，把每周在Men’s Fraternity听到的内容消化、应用到你的生活中。它会让你回顾自己的人生，看看是什么塑造了你这个男人。
40:00 It’s going to ask you to take a good evaluation of what you’re doing right now. It’s going to ask you to think about where you want to end up in life. And then to put all of that down and keep refining it. And at the end of the year, we’re ac‐tually going to ask you to type it up and share it with the men in your group. And I’m going to ask you to give me a copy because that’s what’s going to be required to graduate here. All right? every man’s got to turn in a plan to me.
它会让你好好评估自己目前的状况。它会让你思考你希望人生最终走向哪里。然后把这些都写下来，不断修改完善。到了年底，我们会请你把它打出来，和你小组里的弟兄们分享。我还会请你交给我一份，因为这是在这里结业的必要条件。好吗？每个人都得交一份计划给我。
40:27 But this plan can be the most profitable thing in your life if you’re willing to take a hard look atyour life. Men need to know where they’re go‐ing. And when they know where they’re going,they become a very positive and powerful force,not only in their own lives, but in their family’slife and in the community. And that’s what wewant to help you achieve, a plan for your life.Okay? So, five presuppositions I’ve given youhere this morning that’s going to shape mymessages.
只要你愿意认真审视自己的人生，这份计划可能会成为你人生中最有益的东西。男人需要知道自己要往哪里去。当他们知道方向时，就会成为一股非常正面而强大的力量，不仅在自己的生命中，也在家庭和社区中。这就是我们要帮你达成的：一份人生计划。好，今天早上我给了你们五个前提，它们会塑造我所有的信息。
41:01 And then five promises that I think I can deliveron if you’re willing to stick with me throughoutthe whole year. Men, welcome to men’s fraterni‐ty. And welcome to the quest for authenticmanhood.
还有五个应许，我相信我能兑现，只要你们愿意一整年都跟着我走下去。弟兄们，欢迎来到Men’sFraternity。欢迎踏上追寻真正男子汉气概的旅程
