恩典见证 33.属…

音频 7 分钟

我向神倾心吐意,不断向神献上感恩,感谢为我所做的一切,我恳求让我为工作,以表达我对的爱和感谢。

戴德生小时一点也不像什么天才儿童。他体弱多病的戴德生,差不多每周都要请至少一天病假。虽然他的父亲受过药剂师训练,也在儿子十一岁那年才送他上学去,但他的阅读能力却是进步神速,数学科也表现得出类拔萃。受过两年的正规教育以后,便要辍学,在父亲约克郡班士尼镇的店里帮忙。

他生于一八三二年,父母都是虔诚的基督徒。从小就对福音故事耳熟能详,他知道神的独生儿子耶稣来到世间,为拯救世人的罪钉死在十字架上。年少的他以童真的信心,接受了父母所教导的一切,只因那是他们所相信的。踏入少年期,他开始质疑圣经的真实性。十五岁那年,他在当地一所银行当个小文员,初次接触到一些年纪较长,对信仰存疑的朋友。他们的观点影响了他,于是他摒弃了基督教信仰及父母的教导。

戴德生因为用眼过度,不得不放弃会计的职业,回到父亲的店里工作。只是他对基督教的怀疑依然继续。表面上他是十分循规蹈矩的,但内心的属灵挣扎却瞒不过父母亲,他们着实为爱儿担忧。直到在他十七岁那年,事情起了变化。他后来作了这样的记述:“那一天实在令我毕生难忘 – 母亲出门探访亲戚,而我因为有一天的假期,于是走到父亲的书房里,要找本什么书读,好打发那无聊的下午。可是并没有什么吸引我的书,我转而在一篮子的小册子中拣了一份看来颇有趣的福音单张。我对自己说:‘一定又是以故事开头,以说教结束的单张。我只会读完故事的部分,其余的就留给有兴趣的人好了!’我坐了下来,漫不经心地读着,一心认为就算真有救恩,也是与我无关的。若开始感到乏味,就立刻放在一旁好了。那阵子,悔改总被冠为是‘变得严肃起来’的一种行为;而事实上,从那些宣称已悔改归主的人的面容看来,这确是一件十分‘严肃’的事。

假若神的儿女能常常在脸上流露出得救的喜乐和祝福,那些不信的人必会视悔改为‘十分喜乐’的事,而不是‘变得严肃’,那不是更好吗?那时候,我一点也不知道在七、八十里外的母亲,心中正盘算些什么。那天她吃过午饭后,期望爱儿得救的心愿紧系心头,心想难得那天时间比较充裕,正好藉此机会为儿子的得救向神恳求。她回到房间,锁上房门,定意非要神应允她的恳求,才再踏出房门。

时间一小时一小时的过去,母亲不断为我向神哀求,到了最后,她再也不能祈求下去,只觉得非赞美神不可,因为圣灵告诉她,她唯一的爱儿已经得救了。与此同时,神亦正引导我读那福音小册。正在阅读之际,一个句子突然冲击着我的思绪:‘基督所做成的工。’作者为什么如此形容?突然‘所有都完成了’这些字在我脑海中掠过。‘完成了什么呢?’我欣然回答:‘是救赎已经完成,我们的罪债已经偿还。

那不单是我们的罪,也是全世界的罪。’我随即又想到:‘假如所有的工作已经完成。所有的罪债已代为还清,那我还有什么要做的呢?’重生的喜乐就在那刻临到我,圣灵的光照亮了我的心窍。在这世界上,除了俯伏在救主跟前,接受他和他的救恩之外,我还有什么可以做的呢;两星期后,母亲回来了。我是第一个在大门口迎接她,我告诉她我已经得救这件大喜讯。母亲把我拥入怀中说:‘我知道了,我儿。我已为你的这个喜讯兴奋了整整两个星期’。

她又把当日的祈祷经历告诉我。相信你必定同意,若我不因此而深信祷告的能力,实在非常奇怪。这件事还未结束。过了不久,我捡起一本还以为是自己的笔记本来看,映入眼帘的,原来是那比我小四岁的妹妹的日记,大意是她立志每天为我祷告,直至神应允救赎我为止。在日记写下的一个月后,主就把我从黑暗中引入光明。

在这样的环境中长大,又在这样的情况下得救,很自然地,从我得着基督的生命开始,我就体会到神的应许非常真实,而祷告就是与神落实的相交,为自己也为他人恳求他的祝福。”他并没有像一般基督徒那样变得“严肃”,因为他觉得这样一点也不能吸引别人,戴德生也没有把自己的信心掉以轻心。虽然他像大部分初信的信徒一样容易受试探而跌倒,又会为自己的软弱感到挫败,但他却不会就此满足这种忽上忽下的属灵生命。他渴望与神有一个更美好,更亲密的关系。

一天下午,他开始为此向神祷告:“我清楚记得我如何满心欢喜快乐地向神倾心吐意,我不断向神献上感恩,感谢为我所做的一切,感谢当我放弃一切希望甚至得救盼望时,他拯救了我。我恳求他让我为他工作,以表达我对的爱和感谢 – 我清楚记得,当我把自己、我的生命、我的朋友和一切全放在祭坛上时,我的灵魂深处被一种庄严的感觉笼罩,我深知道我的奉献已蒙悦纳。

神的同在也变得完全真实,充满祝福;我记得 – 我俯伏在地上,伸开四肢,在面前躺卧,心中泛溢着难以形容的敬畏之情和喜乐。我不知道我的工作岗位会是什么。”戴德生已将自己的生命全然献给神,而且他一心要活出在各方面都讨神喜悦的生命,但他也不时为自已的失败和挫折呼求神,因他深知道此时我自己已不再属于我了。他认为只要神给他明确的方向,他必为他远赴天涯海角,做任何事情,甚至承担苦难也在所不惜。“那次的感受实非笔墨可以形容的,也使我一生难忘。我感觉自己站在神面前,与全能的耶和华立约。

当时我想收回自己的承诺,但却是不能;似乎有声音对我说:‘你的祷告已蒙应允;你已被接纳了。’从那刻开始,我便确信神呼召我往中国去,日后也不再怀疑。”戴德生清楚神的呼召后,便积极的回应。从那天开始,他就努力锻炼体魄准备过刻苦的生活。他增加户外运动,又把羽毛褥垫更换为硬绷绷的床垫,并且十分小心注意饮食。

星期天他本来要去教会两次,但他却放弃了晚上的聚会,改到城中的贫民窟发单张,举行家庭聚会。他在那些鳞次栉比的房子当中,是个受欢迎的常客。甚至在马场上,他那神采飞扬的面孔,加上亲切的问候,往往为他打开传福音之门。他愈多和人分享神的话,就愈发觉自己需要知道得更多,于是他用更多时间祷告及查考圣经。当然,假若他要往中国去,就非学习中文不可。

一本罕有的中文文法书已经要二十元,一本汉英对照字典就要超过二十五元。他既无力购买,就退而求其次,买了一本路加福音中译本。他耐心地与英文圣经按节对照,结果认识了超过六百个中文生字。他把这些生字记得滚瓜烂熟,还编了一本字典。“我开始每天清晨五时起床,因此发觉需要早一点儿睡。假如我要前往中国,就得努力学习。

我已经下定决心要去,所以现在要努力装备自己。我打算把拉丁文学好,并且要学会希腊文和希伯来文的语法基础。我要搜集更多资料。我需要你的代祷。”追随父亲为病人配药多年,戴德生对医学产生了兴趣。当他听闻一位在荷尔市行医的外科医生需要一位助手时,他就去信申请,并且获得聘任。虽然这表示他要离巢独居,但他仍有一段时期,可以跟一位住在该市的姨母同住,享受家庭之乐。

戴德生的雇主医生给他的薪水,只足够应付他的日常开支。这位年轻助手除了将收入作什一奉献之外,每星期天晚上又往市内的贫民窟做福音工作。眼见那些人家的困苦生活,促使他重估自己的生活方式。假如他多节省一些,便能帮助其它更多的人,这是否会令他更喜乐呢?他决定以实际行动来找出答案。

在市郊,经过一片荒地,就可见到两排简陋的平房接壤着一条狭窄的水道而建成。附近的人都称这里为“水沟畔”。这条水道其实只是条挖深了的沟渠,住在沟渠两旁的人,把他们的污物和垃圾,都一股脑儿的送往河里,让潮水带走。那些平房绕着弯曲的大沟渠约有半里长左右,每所房子都是一模一样的,一个大门和两扇窗。戴德生决定辞别姨母舒适的家,在这里租一个小房间来栖身。女房东其治太太是个虔诚的基督徒,她非常欢迎这位“年轻的医生”芬治。她竭尽所能把房子打扫干净,又把对着窗的火炉擦亮。床是在离门口最远的一个角落,加上一张木桌和两张椅子,这便是戴德生的新居了。

这十二尺见方的房间是在一楼,接连着厨房。从房间唯一的窗户望过去,可见到水沟对岸那灯火通明的酒吧。在黑暗的夜里,那些灯光把渠里的泥水都照得清清楚楚。戴德生搬到这里,除了要适应阴暗的环境之外还得为自己烧饭。他每天从医务所下班后,会买少许食物充饥。他已很少坐下来吃一顿像样的晚饭了。平日,他独个儿回家,独个儿度过每一个晚上。但在星期天,他就忙不过来了,不是与邻居打交道,就是在那些经常流连于肯巴码头一带的人群中间工作。“现在我的生活有两个目标,一方面使自己习惯过刻苦的生活;另一方面是省吃俭用,好帮助那些传福音的对象。很快我便习惯了比以前更简朴的生活,我不再吃牛油、牛奶和其它奢侈品。

我的主要食粮是麦片和米饭,偶而加点东西,改换一下口味。这样我的生活便可以很节俭的。我省下三分之二的薪金用作其它用途。经验告诉我,愈少花钱在自己身上,便能帮助更多人,而我心灵上的音乐和祝福也就愈丰足。”在水沟畔生活了一段日子后,他因着中国的需要,作出一个深切痛苦的牺牲。

两年多来,他结识了妹妹贺美学校里的教师,她既漂亮又有才华,戴德生不自觉地爱上了她。这位女孩子是基督徒,并没有宣教负担。他们曾多次谈论过他的计划。但每次她都请他留在英国本土服事神,不要到中国去。

戴德生很清楚那是神的呼召,但他同时亦深爱对方,既然她没有明言不愿意跟随他往中国去,他就心有盼望,继续祷告,求神感动她。当他搬到水沟畔几个星期后,便收到那使他伤心欲绝的信,也是对方最后的决定——她不会到中国去!他写信把心事告诉妹贺美:“多日来我都是郁郁寡欢、失魂落魄似的;我似乎已无力祷告,也不想祷告。我独力承担这个打击,没有向神求助,直到我实在不能再支持下去为止。”试探开始围拢他,“为什么你要去中国?为什么只因一个事奉理想就付上一生的辛劳和遭受痛苦?你现在立刻放弃还有转机。就像其它人一样找一份工作,留在家乡服事主好了。你还有机会挽留她。”爱情苦苦相逼。他告诉妹妹说:“那天下午,我独自坐在手术室内,我开始反复思量神的爱、他的美善、我的回应,还有他给我的祝福。

与其它被召的人的遭遇相比,我所遇到的试炼简直微不足道。神彻底软化了我,又使我谦卑下来。他的爱融化了我冰冷的心灵,我恳切祈求他赦免我忘恩负义的行为;神的爱再一次包围我。是的,他使我谦卑下来,让我认识自己。他让我知道他是我随时的帮助、患难中的倚靠。在试炼之中,他也没有剥夺我的喜乐使我能欢然歌唱:但我仍要因救主喜乐,我要以神的救恩为乐”“现在我在救主的爱里非常满足。我可以向他凡事谢恩,包括过去那些最痛苦的经历,又能够为将来要发生的一切全然信赖他。”

属灵的秘诀——戴德生信心之 第二章

“我对自己说:‘当我踏足中国之后,我就不能向任何人求取任何东西,我只能够向神祈求。所以在离开英国以前,我首先要学会单靠祷告,藉着神感动人来成事。我从没有作出任何牺牲。”这是戴德生晚年回顾过往一生所说的。但在其它客观的人士来看,他的一生乃是自我牺牲的写照。戴氏如此说是因为经验告诉他,无论他为神作出何等的牺牲,所得的补偿总是丰丰富富的,说“付出”,倒不如说是承受好了。这个一生学不完的功课,是打从那年冬天在水沟畔所遭遇的一些深刻经历开始的。无论他的牺牲有多大,他所得的奖赏总是远远超过他所付出的代价。虽然经历失恋的伤痛,居住的环境亦是贫穷恶劣,但他的属灵生命却是高涨的。

他说:“每一天,从早到晚我都经历到无法言喻的喜乐。神对我来说是那么实在、亲切,我所付出的便只是音乐的事奉而已。”即使信件的语气与内容改变了,减少了自我检讨,更多专注于将来的计划。中国再一次充满了他的思想。他为那些不认识基督的人的灵魂有更深的负担。虽然他是那么充实积极,他的母亲却为儿子的健康和居住环境担心起来。特别是当她从其它人的口中得知儿子既苍白又清瘦,于是写信关心他的健康。他在一月间给母亲回信:“对不起,要令你为我操心。可能是我穿了件较宽大的外衣,于是人人见了便说:‘看你多憔悴多清瘦!”他安慰母亲说他的伤风早就痊愈,他现在精神饱满,而且懂得照顾自己。

她的母亲显然并未因他回信而放下心来。她更对他计划前往中国宣教而要面对的艰苦生活忧心忡忡。他再次写信,企图减轻母亲对他的现况和将来的种种忧虑:“亲爱的妈妈,不要让任何事令自己寝食不安。宣教工作是人类最崇高的职业。我们当然不能忽略自己的基本需要,但当我们能为主放弃一切时,我们能不欢喜快乐吗?”“至于我的身体,我相信现在是我生命中最健壮的时刻。

这里的风确实凌厉,但我常常都把自己裹得紧紧的,寒冷的天气使我食欲大增,假若我让自己病倒,便会使我的经济受亏损;所以我会尽量选择那些简单但营养丰富的食物,而奢侈品则能免则免.“我找到一些与面包一般便宜的饼干,十八便士就有一块,而且比面包更可口。我的早餐有饼干、鲜鱼和咖啡。鲜鱼比牛油便宜,三尾才一便士,早餐吃半条便足够了。我的午餐是梅干加苹果馅。梅干只要二至三便士一磅,而苹果则是十便士一袋。我把四个半便士一磅的糖块买回来敲碎,这比一般粗糖更便宜。有时我会烤马铃薯和动物舌头,这和其它肉类一样便宜。下午茶是饼干和苹果。我并不常吃晚餐,偶然吃点饼干和苹果,有时也会吃玉米布丁,豆或是鱼等。假如我多留心点,可以买到四至六便士一磅的干酪,品质比我们在家常吃八便士一磅的更好。

菜市场已可买到莴苣和生菜,不久我便可以改变一下菜式了。我用三个半便士的醋腌了一便士的红卷心菜,有满满的一大瓶。你看,我所费不多,就可以有基本的享受了。加上,我还有一个随时供给我需用的家,和赐出人意外的平安的神;假如我还不满足、不快乐,那我真是活该活在苦恼与悲惨当中了。“亲爱的妈妈,请继续为我祷告。虽然我的衣食充足,充满快乐和感恩,但是我需要你为我代祷……妈妈,我怎样才能让你明白我是多么渴望成为宣教士,渴想把喜讯带给那些贫困又正步向灭亡的罪人呢。求主使用我,让我为那代我受死的主鞠躬尽瘁!妈妈,试想想,有一千二百万人——一个多么庞大的数字,多么难以想象是的,在中国每年就有一千二百多万灵魂,在没有神、没有盼望底下步向灭亡.啊 ! 让我们有怜悯的心看待这庞大人民的需要!

神既怜恤我们,我们也应体恤他的心意“我要搁笔了。你愿不愿意因那为你而死的主耶稣献上一切?妈妈,我知道你愿意。愿神与你同在和安慰你。当我储备了足够的路费时,我可以立刻启程吗?我深感假若不为中国做点什么,我就不能再活下去了。”虽然戴德生蠢蠢欲动,渴想立刻起程前往东方,只是他仍不能完全确定自己是否已装备妥当,能接受挑战。那个冬天在水沟畔的小房间内,他写得更多了:“对我来说,到中国去是件非同小可的事。

在那里将会远离亲友的帮助,唯有单靠永活的神保护、供应和帮助。要承担这挑战,首先要加强个人的属灵操练不可。固然,若人的信心坚定,神是决不会失信的。但假如信心不足又如何呢?那时我还未领悟:‘我们纵然失信,他仍是可信的,因为他不能背乎自己’这个真理。

因此,我最大的难题,并非神是否信实,而是自己的信心是否足够,保证我可以从事那摆在我面前的艰巨使命。“我对自己说:‘当我踏足中国之后,我就不能向任何人求取任何东西,我只能够向神祈求。所以在离开英国以前,我首先要学会单靠祷告,藉着神感动人来成事。’”戴德生相信圣经所说:信心可以移山。他想知道自己是否有足够的信心实践这操练。假如信心需要成长,便必须要操练。这是他要做的。“离开英国之前,学习以祈祷,藉着神去感动人。”这是他所定下的目标。不久,他就发现一个简易可行,用以实践信心功课的方法。他记下这件事情:“我那位仁慈的雇主赫迪医生,希望我提醒他按时发给我薪金;我便决定单以祷告,求神提醒他,好叫我经历祷告蒙应允的鼓励。“一次,按季发薪的日子近了,我照常为此事恳切祷告。但日子已到,赫迪医生却没有提及发薪一事,我只有继续祷告。多日过去,他依然没放在心上。直至星期六晚上,我坐下来计算自己一周的账目,发觉只剩下一块二先令六便士的硬币。

但我照样继续祷告等候。“那星期天我觉得很高兴。我的心照常充满着蒙福的喜乐。早上参加主日崇拜后,下午和晚上就依往例到镇上贫民区逐层去展开采访和传福音。在那段日子里,我有生活在天堂的感觉,对我来说,天堂是人的喜乐可以有更大满足的地方,而如今我所拥有的已几近如此了。“那天晚上大约十时左右,我主领聚会完毕,一位可怜的男土上前请求我到他家里,为他临终的妻子祷告。我欣然答应。

在路上我问他为什么不去请神父,因为他操爱尔兰口音。他说已请过了,不过神父要十八便士代价才肯去。而他一家正在捱饿,那有余钱呢!忽然,我想起我的全部财产、我唯一的硬币。虽然我已预备好燕麦粥作为今晚和明早食用,但明天的午餐又如何呢?“不知怎的,当我想到这里的时候,我心中的喜乐顿时消失得无影无踪。没有怪责自己,我反而怪责那人为什么要把事情弄到这地步,为什么不早点找福利官帮忙。

他告诉我他早就通过申请表,只是福利官叫他明早十一时再去一趟,但他的妻子恐怕活不到明天呢!“‘啊!’我心想:‘假如我有的不是这个两先令半的钱币,而是两个一先令和一个六使土的硬币,我是多么乐意给这家人一个先令呢!’我压根儿就没想过要把我唯一的硬币送给对方。

其实道理非常简单,我相信神,也相信一先令六便士,但我却不敢单单信靠神和空空如也的口袋。“那人带领我进入一个院子,我略带慌张地跟着,因为上次来的时候,那里的人对我很不客气. 走上一道破旧的楼梯,我们进入了一间残破不堪的小房间内。映入眼帘的,真是令人心酸。四五个面黄肌瘦的小孩散立屋内,明显是长期忍受饥饿的结果。破烂的床上躺着他们那软弱无力的母亲,旁边是个出生才三十六小时的婴孩在微弱的啼哭着。“‘啊!’我在想:‘假如我有的是两个先令和一个六便士,我一定非常乐意给他们一先令六便士。’但可恶的不信却拦阻我把所有的全送给他们的这种冲动。

“我当然无法去安慰这穷困的人家,这一点也不奇怪,因为我自己也需要别人安慰呢。我开始告诉他们无论如何不要为目前的景况苦恼而沮丧,因为我们有一位慈爱的天父在天上。但此刻我的内心却在大声叫嚷,‘你这伪君子!口中告诉这些不信的人相信天上有位慈爱的父神,心里却不肯因为没有一块硬币而信靠他!’“我的喉头差点塞住了。假如我有一块两先令硬币和一个六便士小钱,我就会极愿意向良知妥协,以感恩的心把两先令送给他们,把六便士留下。我仍未能放开那六便士,而单单信靠神。既然在这环境下无话可说,祷告应该没有困难吧。

在那些日子,祷告是最愉快的事,在祷告里我可以滔滔不绝地与神交谈。那时刻我以为我必须跪下祷告,这样我和这家人都可以得到释放。“‘你请我来为你太太祷告,’我对那男士说:‘让我们一同祷告吧上我便跪下来。“当我开口说:‘我们在天上的父’,我的良心说:‘你竟敢嘲弄神?你竟敢跪下称他为’父神‘而口袋里仍保留看那硬币?’我从没有经历过这种内心的矛盾。记不起我的祷告是否语无伦次,和究竟是怎样结束的,但我站起来的时候,心里是极其痛苦的。“那位穷困的父亲向我说:‘先生,你已见到我们的凄凉景况,假若可能的话,为着神的缘故,请你帮助我们吧!’“就在那一刻,一句话在我的脑海中闪过:‘向他祈求的就给他们。’主的话带着能力。“我把手放进口袋中,慢慢地掏出那个硬币交给那位男士。我告诉他,也许他会认为我只是举手之劳,因为我看来比他们宽裕多了,谁知那块钱已是我仅有的。不过我先前告诉他们的实在是千真万确的,神确是我们可信赖的父亲。

此刻,喜乐如潮水涌溢我的心灵。我再次可以心口如一的说话了,拦阻着祝福的障碍亦消失了,这障碍使得我的信心几乎要、水远失掉了。“不单是那位穷困妇人的生命得以救活过来,我的生命也完全得蒙拯救。假如在那刻我没有顺从圣灵的引导,并藉着神的恩典得胜的话,我的基督徒生命可能已一蹶不振,惨淡收场。“我记得很清楚在回家的路上,我的心就如同我的钱袋一般轻盈。在漆黑静寂的街道上,我的耳畔不停地响着我无法抑制的赞美歌声。我临睡前,喝下那碗燕麦粥,只觉得帝王之筵也不足以交换。我跪在床前求主不要忘记他自己的话:‘怜悯贫穷的,就是借给耶和华。’我恳求他提醒这位迟迟不发工资让我长期借贷的雇主能尽速发薪,不然明天我的午餐就没有着落了。在身心一片平和的景况下,我度过了愉快宁静的一夜。

第二天早上,仅余的燕麦粥,还未吃完邮差就来敲门了。我很少会在星期一收信,因为家父母和我大部分的朋友都避免在星期六寄信,所以当女房东走进来,用围裙擦着湿濡的手,拿给我一封像信又像包裹的东西时,我着实惊讶极了。我接过信来,但见信封上的字迹相当陌生,假如不是一位陌生人寄来,那就是对方故一意把字写得难于辨认了;此外邮戳也是模糊不清的,我真不晓得这封信是从何而来。我打开信封,发现里面没有只字片语,有的只是一张白纸裹着的一双小孩手套,正在惊愕之间,一块半英镑就掉在地上。“‘感谢主,’我惊叫起来,‘十二小时的投资,四倍的利润!假如荷尔商人借钱出去能有如此利润,不知有多高兴了!’我决定要把我的储蓄和收入存在这间不会倒闭的银行。对于这一决定,我至今仍不后悔。“这件事不时在我脑海中浮现,在困难的日子,它更是我不断的鼓励和帮助。

假如我们在小事上对神忠心,我们就能积聚经验和能力,帮助我们去应付生命中更重大的考验。”这故事还未结束。这也并非他唯一蒙主垂听的祷告,却叫他的信心更为坚固。以下是他分述这故事的结局:“神这次奇异的拯救和宽恕,除了带给我极大的喜乐,也大大巩固了我的信心。毕竟只是十先令,无论我是如何节省,也不能长久维持我的生活。我要继续祷告,只求主叫我的老板记得把薪水发给我,这是最大的供应。不过我的祷告似乎都落空,两星期过去了,我的情况又回复到那难忘的星期天晚上一样。我一次又一次的恳切向神求,请他提醒赫迪医生我的粮期已过。“不过金钱并不是令我困扰的事,因为只要我开口,这就可以迎刃而解了。

最关心的还是:‘我可以到中国去吗?或者我这种积极向神求取信心与能力的态度,拦阻我参与这项宝贵的事奉呢?’“那星期很快就过去了,我愈来愈坐立不安。我不单要担心自己的需要,更重要的是我要在星期日晚上付房租给房东太太,她很需要这笔钱的。我应否为她的缘故,开口提出薪水的事情呢?但假若我这样做,就是直接承认自己不是作宣教士的料子了!

除了上班的时间外,我整个星期四和星期五,都在祷告上与神摔角。到了星期六早上,情况仍未有转机。我便认真地求神指引,应否继续保持缄默,等候父神的作为。依我的判断,我总觉得等候神工作是上上之策,因为神必会为我作主。于是我继续等候,我的心是平静的,压在我心头的重担已飞往九霄云外。“星期六下午五时许,赫迪医生开完处方,完成一天最后的工作,就如常地往后一靠,安舒地坐在安乐椅上,娓娓地道起神的事情来。

他是一位真诚的基督徒,我们曾有过不少甜美的交通时间。那时,我正忙于看守一锅正在煮沸的汤药,幸好如此,因为他突然没头没脑地冒出一句:‘是啊!戴德生,你的薪水是否已到期了?’“我的心情可想而知。我要咽了两三下口水才能回答。我背向他,两眼仍然望着药锅,以最平静的语气对他说,是的,我的薪金迟发了好一段日子了。

那一刻我的心充满感恩!神终于听了我的祷告,我不用发一言,神就在这段最关键的时刻,提醒他要发薪水给我。“‘噢,真抱歉,只可惜你不提醒我。你知道我多忙碌,假若我能早一点想起来,就不用在下午把所有的钱存进银行,而你也可以即时领到薪水了。’“听完这番出人意外的话,我的心情激动,顿时手足无措,真是难以形容。幸好锅里的药这时沸腾起来,让我可以趁机连锅带人跑出房间。我就一直远离他的视线,直至赫迪医生离开医务所为止。而最庆幸的,还是他并未察觉我的情绪起伏。

“他走后不久,我就立刻回到自己的工作间,向主倾心吐意。直到心情完全平复下来!感恩和喜乐之心再次涌现为止。我感到神自有他的方法,而且必不叫我失望。今天早上我曾寻求他的心意,深觉耐心等候是他的指示,如今神必会用其它的方法为我另谋出路。“一如往常的星期六晚上,我留在工作间读圣经和预备明天在贫民区的讲道。我比平时多留了一点时间,大约十点钟,我穿上外衣准备回家,想起这时房东太太早已上床就寝,我必须以弹簧门锁的钥匙才能进门,稍稍感到有点安慰,心想今晚是没有希望收到钱了。或许到星期一神会给我开路,让我可以早点还清欠缴的房租。“就在我关掉煤气灯时,我听见医生的脚步声在医务所和他住所之间的院子里响了起来。他开怀大笑,似乎碰到十分有趣的事情呢。

他进来叫我取账簿,告诉我,其中一位挺富有的病人刚来付清医药费,这不是有点儿古怪吗!我从来没有想过这件事会和我面对的事情有关,否则我就会尴尬极了。从一个旁观者的角度来看这件事,我也觉得这个有钱人的做法有点怪异。他随时随刻都可以毫不费力付清医药费,为何要晚上十时来缴付账单。这样表示他大概是心里放不下这件事,非要半夜三更来偿还医药费不可。

“赫迪医生记过账,开好收据后就准备离开,突然他转过头来,把刚收到的钞票抽一些给我,我既惊奇又十分感激。他说:‘戴德生,你先收下这几张钞票,我现在没有零钱,余数下星期才能还给你。’“我再一次独自留下,赫迪医生始终没有察觉我的情绪变化。我回到工作间,带着喜乐的心感谢神,‘我大概可以去中国了吧!’”我毕竟是要去中国的。”

圣商恩典[100]…

音频 1 分钟

那撒在好地上的,就是人听道,又领受,并且结实,有三十倍的,有六十倍的,有一百倍的。【可4:20】

商人和企业家是天生的行动派,没有结果的事他们不喜欢。

主耶稣关于撒种子的比喻,特别形象贴切地启示了理论与实践、听到与行道的关系。中国改革开放的四十年实践,源于实践是检验真理的标准的讨论,一个面向实事求是原则的思想解放!

基督徒容易犯的错误之一就是,思想的巨人,行动的矮子。圣经的道理能背诵一大堆,就是不去实践,就是没有特别好的见证。正所谓从知道到做到,是世间最远的距离!

今天,让我们不仅听道,更要行道!把每天知道的,去做到!奉主蒙恩! 阿们!

圣商恩典[99]人…

音频 1 分钟

这些人都是存着信心死的,并没有得着所应许的;却从远处望见,且欢喜迎接,又承认自己在世上是客旅,是寄居的。【来11:13】

信心是企业家成长的前提和关键要素,然而企业家总是喜欢追求看得见结果的事情。

在商业人士看来,成功就是在有效的时间内对特定目标的达成。圣经在希伯来书中特别对信仰里面的信心做了深入分析,特别举例说明,真正有信心的人,常常死在通向成功的路上,并不都能看到自己盼望的成果。

那么,为了梦想不在乎短期回报,是否违背了商业的本质呢?

商业的本质其实在于,创新一种可持续、有正现金流的服务模式。

这种正现金流,也被称为利润。所以,德鲁克认为,企业发展的目标不是利润,而是为企业发展提供了可持续的现金流。

在信仰里,我们都是管家,不是所有者,所以我们不是为赚钱而生的,而只是在一定时期内对这些现金流有处置权,是通过创新可持续的、有正现金流的服务,去践行爱人如己的原则。最可持续的、永续的商业只有在天国。在地上,我们都是在路上的客旅,有一个更美的家等着我们!

今天,让我们懂得,成功不仅是完成看得见的目标,真正的信心要我们一起永远在路上前行!我们还没有到达,但我们相信!奉主蒙恩! 阿们!

圣商恩典[98]爱…

音频 1 分钟

我若有先知讲道之能,也明白各样的奥秘,各样的知识,而且有全备的信,叫我能够移山,却没有爱,我就算不得什么。【林前13:2】

随着信息、知识的泛滥,人们都在不断寻求扩大自己的资源、能力和权力范围。在互联网时代,知识不仅是力量,也是资源和权力。年青人读书,目的也完全被卷入了能力圈、资源圈的竞争。

尽管我们都不否认爱的重要性,但我们的教育系统、商业生态和整个社会都完全没有增加爱的知识和能力的培训和投入,甚至事实上还在减少。圣经明确的告诉我们,爱才是上帝的本质,智慧和能力都是在爱里才能有方向,产生正价值!

今天,让我们明白,没有爱,知识和能力可能会害人害己。没有爱,就无法与神同在!奉主蒙恩! 阿们!

圣商恩典[97]神…

音频 1 分钟

天怎样高过地,照样,我的道路高过你们的道路;我的意念高过你们的意念。【赛55:9】

爱德基金会圣经印刷公司的圣经库房,在一个夏季里的连日大雨中,屋顶一些地方突然开始漏水了。如果圣经书籍被水浸泡,损失之大不堪设想!

当总经理焦急地带着员工,拿着防水布,准备把圣经和其他书籍重新包裹的时候,却惊奇地发现,漏雨的地方都在过道处,圣经书籍没有被水淹到,毫发无损。大家不禁赞叹和感恩神的做为,都感叹神的办法是我们人想不到的!

今天,让我们感叹,上帝的道路、上帝的意念、上帝的做为是多么的超越我们的所见所想!哈利路亚!奉主蒙恩! 阿们!

Testimony…

 Listen for 9 min   

Sammi Cheng, a diva-level super-artist in the Chinese music scene, has sold more than 2,500 million albums worldwide since 1990, becoming one of the most successful female singers in Hong Kong. She is also one of the most popular and highest-paid actresses in the Hong Kong film industry and has appeared in many blockbuster films.

Sammi Cheng held a concert of gospel songs, and Sammi Cheng published a gospel album. However, after filming the last movie “Song of Long Hatred” in 2005, Sammi Cheng suddenly disappeared, which aroused great curiosity in the media, and even once reported negative news such as serious illness and death. This three-year-long “extraordinary period” was the darkest part of her life, but it was a real experience of God’s life process.

In 2010, the reborn Sammi Cheng stood on the stage again with confidence and had a completely different vision of life and the world. With a heart that has been refined and full of enthusiasm for her mission, she generously confesses her faith journey through music, and speaks for God in the style that belongs to Sammi Cheng, conveying the surging love and faith in her heart.

Recently, Sammi Cheng was interviewed by “True Love Blog”, she took off the halo of a star, and confessed God’s great love to the audience and friends, during the interview, she was choked up and cried because of her emotion, and her innocent smile told the world “I am fine now by God!” In front of the camera, she restored her true self, did not shy away from her true age, and revealed that she lost herself by chasing wrong values before believing in the Lord, and even asked God for divination to predict the future, as well as the unknown powerlessness during her illness.

The real life of the “diva”.

Zheng Xiuwen, 38 years old this year, has debuted for 20 years. She entered the singing scene in 1999 when she participated in the third place in the 7th Hong Kong Rookie Singing Competition, Anita Mui was the first place in that year, this competition can be called the pedal of Hong Kong’s king and queen, Sammi Cheng recalled that year, “I participated in the competition only because I was not very good at reading, and I was quite interested in singing, so I tried it, and participated in the competition with a random mentality.” My personality is so desperate, so thorough, and I do everything without hesitation and courageously. ”

‘s strong willpower has made Sammi Cheng brilliant today, and at the same time, it also brought her collisions and injuries for a time. In the torrent of showbiz competition, she chases the worldly and wrong values instilled in society, equating ranking, money, and beauty with Sammi Cheng and her survival value.

“I care a lot about rankings, this represents Sammi Cheng, and it’s over without rankings. My values have always been very wrong, I have been chasing the wrong values of the world, chasing after them, chasing after them, chasing after me, thinking that these things alone are equal to my survival values. There is often a black hole in my heart that I feel that this can be filled. But then I found out that I had to be saved by God’s love to fill it. This is the voice of Sammi Cheng’s heart. To prosper in the entertainment industry, she wants to predict and control the future and often tells fortunes for a while. Sammi Cheng admitted frankly that this is something he is very reluctant to expose.

To achieve an ideal figure, Sammi Cheng only ate two apples for seven consecutive days, and even if he fainted, he had to maintain the eternal glamorous diva in everyone’s eyes. Especially when she took over the filming of “Thin Men and Women” to play the heroine who was fat and thin, to complete the filming task, Zheng Xiuwen also gained weight and lost weight in a short period. The process shattered Sammi Cheng, who was struggling to lose weight, unable to eat every day, and running desperately. When it was over, “I was like a dead worm, slumped on the couch, too tired to do it.” I was weak physically, and even weaker in mind. But I knew that in ten days, I would shoot again, and I would wear a cheongsam again, and I would become a fair lady. ”

In the past, Sammi Cheng was a big owner of many brands and was keen on luxury. “I used to be crazy about buying clothes and going to designer stores. They would treat me very specially, and when they saw me, they would shout ‘Miss Zheng is here…… and then they would push out the hangers, all the latest clothes. I feel contented, I have a halo on my head. I found that I really needed these things to glorify myself and wrap myself. ”

Driven by perfectionism and strong willpower, Zheng Xiuwen was scarred, “The pursuit of perfection has brought me a lot of harm, and I often can’t hear the needs of my heart.” I thought that money and beauty were everything, but I didn’t expect that the process of pursuing it made me feel hurt. I put a lot of wrong values on myself, how can I bear such heavy pressure with such a small heart? I often ignore my feelings, such as sadness, physical needs, and rest. ”

Outbreak of depression

Zheng Xiuwen has lived under a strong appearance of camouflage for a long time, chasing fame and fortune, but also being overwhelmed by the aura of fame, and continuing to confront the huge workload and inexplicable low tide. In 2005, with a heavy sense of powerlessness, she took over the work of the heroine of the movie “Song of Long Hatred”. This eventually became the straw that broke the camel’s back, overwhelming her and causing her to develop depression. After filming the last shot of “Song of Long Hatred”, Zheng Xiuwen was like an oil lamp, and the oil ran out.

During that process, rumors spread from the outside world, either true or false. Many people say that Sammi Cheng is “too deep in the play” and “possessed by the role”. Zheng Xiuwen was noncommittal about this statement, and now she revealed: “I don’t think I can’t jump, but this excuse also makes me breathe a sigh of relief.” I was depressed to the point where I couldn’t do it, and people said that so that I didn’t have to explain that I had depression. ”

As early as the filming of “Thin Men and Women”, Zheng Xiuwen’s mental condition begins to weaken, but she has a strong appearance, Zheng Xiuwen self-dissected: “It’s not that filming “Song of Long Hatred” makes me depressed, but that I make this movie with melancholy. She also revealed: “At that time, there were a lot of advertising contracts, but on the day of filming, I couldn’t work because of a heavy sense of powerlessness, everything was ready, I just couldn’t get out of the room, and at the last moment I had to call the assistant to say that I was sick.” So I kept losing money, and a lot of the chaos was because of depression. ”

Sammi Cheng stopped all work and stayed at home behind closed doors. In order to get rid of the feeling of powerlessness and melancholy, she desperately read to release her emotions, devoted herself to every novel, invested in each protagonist, read until she was about to lose herself, and did not eat or sleep. This process made Sammi Cheng feel a little “withdrawn”, forgetting the melancholy and powerlessness for a while.

But when she faced this feeling of powerlessness, life had become completely meaningless. She didn’t look in the mirror for a month and didn’t take a shower for seven days. “It’s like I’m living in a little wooden box with only one person in it, and you can’t seem to breathe or smell the outside world. And when I wake up in the morning, I feel a lot of despair. In this way, Sammi Cheng “ran to sleep during the day, closed the windows, and made the room black.” In the evening, when the moon comes out, you can get active, go out to eat, and watch TV. ”

At first, Sammi Cheng didn’t realize that it might be depression. She also refuses to admit it, she doesn’t dare to face it, she doesn’t dare to touch it, and it may be depression. Sammi Cheng chose to escape and retreat into the small world to see if the situation would be better.

God saves the lost

God personally searches for the lost, and when Sammi Cheng’s depression is at its worst, she often hears a voice, “Sammi Cheng, I can save you this time.” It’s not the doctor, it’s me, God. You pray!” The voice was strong and long-lasting, lingering in Zheng Xiuwen’s ears. Sammi Cheng remembered that when she was a teenager, she made a decision to pray with her Christian sister and said that she would follow God. Because she was very young at the time, she didn’t take her faith very seriously. “After praying, I forgot about fortune-telling, worship, everything. But I didn’t expect that at the bottom of my life, it was God who came to save me. ”

In his hut, Sammi Cheng began to pray. She hopes to live in fellowship but can’t get along with the crowd, so Sammi Cheng prays for God to open the way. Zheng Xiuwen knelt, sometimes he was lazy and lay down, sometimes he sat down, sometimes he cried very much, sometimes he was very excited, sometimes he would shout ‘You want to save me’, and sometimes he was quieter. “Prayer has a lot of comfort for my emotions and a lot of exile for my emotions. The negative emotions that I had accumulated were slowly healed through prayer, and I slowly saw God’s guidance to me step by step. ”

Eight months later, God placed Sammi Cheng in a special Bible study class and asked her to face her problems seriously. On the first day, I went to the Bible study class, and when I heard the hymn and remembered it, Sammi Cheng’s tears burst into tears. “I took some of the very serious pain in it, and some of the negative emotions that bothered me in it, all of them flowed out with tears. It was a kind of ‘very quiet collapse.'”

Sammi Cheng’s life is a reversal from prayer, and she emphasizes the importance of prayer: “So I think prayer is very important, and you can only know that it is God’s response when you pray. If you don’t pray, how do you know it’s God’s leading?”

In the light of the Holy Spirit, she truly faced herself. “We all like to conform to the values of this world, and most of us don’t dare to live our lives, including me. My name is Sammi Cheng! When I have a lot of things that everyone desires, I find that I have nothing in my heart. ”

Sammi Cheng also realized that fortune-telling, a stupid method, could not predict the future. When she was experiencing depression, these things didn’t help her get up at all. “I have to have a lot of power to save my outlook on life, my values, and turn them around. There was no way to tell fortunes, they wrote something to me, and I burned it completely. I have nothing to worry about in my future, so I’ll leave it to God. I walked every day with the confidence he gave me. He will give me the strength to overcome the difficulties he gave me. ”

To get out of the slump, Sammi Cheng bravely begged God: “Give me the courage to face the crowd again, I hope to do a concert.” You don’t give me success, I beg you to give me the strength to take this step so that I can start again. After three years of depression, Sammi Cheng held a comeback concert, she felt very deeply when she got up that day, and quietly wrote a letter to herself, every word from the bottom of her heart, she read it publicly during the concert, which made the audience sigh, she remembered that at the end she said to herself: “The most important thing is that your courage is back.” Speaking of this, Zheng Xiuwen choked up.

God not only gave Sammi Cheng a new life but also wore away many weaknesses in her personality. She examined that she had been selfish and bad-tempered in the past and that she had pretended to be “straightforward,” and that the Bible had made her understand that love was “not boastful or arrogant,” and she understood: “Selfish people are not happy, but through these three years, God has given me a lot of training, and many of my shortcomings have been worn out.” Now I still have a lot of bad things, but I am willing to obey. I cherish my relationships with people, and that joy is important. I still have a lot of shortcomings, but I’m willing to obey. ”

Righteousness is the gospel

Re-engaged in work, Sammi Cheng has a different mission, “I still like work and the feeling of hard work, but I used to pursue a sense of achievement, but now I have a great sense of mission to publish gospel albums and write certificates.” Very subtly, my life can be inspiring, and the more painful it is, the more it is worth it! Now many people in pain will talk to me, many people are curious about the help of faith, and I use my little story to let people know the power of God, and I love this character very much. ”

“God has given me peace, courage, and ability, so I don’t worry about sales or how I’m going to be defined from day one, and the more I don’t think about that, the more God will be more preserving,” Sammi Cheng said. My motivation is pure, I want to tell my story and people will be helped. Unexpectedly, as soon as the gospel album was released in Hong Kong, sales immediately soared, and she donated all her royalties to help many charities, as she said: “The less you worry, the purer your motives, the greater God’s help.” ”

Using his life to testify to God, Sammi Cheng said that he “has no hesitation”, “I have published a book without hesitation, and I have said that I have to write without hesitation.” I struggled to write this book, and I told my Bible study sisters that I was in pain, that I didn’t want to write, that I didn’t want to open myself, that I had to open up my worst things, and that I couldn’t resist as long as people punched me. I struggled, but I obeyed. How to write, I went through a lot of prayers. When I was writing, I found that I couldn’t stop, and God was writing for me. After writing this book in obedience to God, Sammi Cheng felt a sense of healing, and she found that when she could calmly spread out as history, depression was truly over.

She used to be too busy, but now she cherishes the time she spends with her family, and she has also changed from blindly accepting the role of love to loving communication. Zheng Xiuwen said that she has expectations for love and reflects on the past, “I used to be the one who received love, and in the future, I hope that the love I will talk about is reciprocal, I can be loved and loved.” ”

With a new experience of love, Sammi Cheng embraced and cared for the soul openly. She went to the hospital to preach the gospel, and went to the mountains of Yunnan to be a teacher for a week, lived in the house of the first old woman, and ate coarse tea and light rice, but she said: “The soul is like eating a tonic, and life is abundant.” She plans to go with two friends every year. Once in Mongolia, I helped a child who lost his parents to take a bath, and the water was black when he washed out, seeing the child soaking in the bathtub and being happy like a duckling, Zheng Xiuwen said: “I felt like a mother at that moment!”

Zheng Xiuwen, who is Xi to being surrounded by fancy clothes and material things, now prefers to spend his time preaching the gospel or listening to the difficulties of friends. Now Sammi Cheng is like a caring angel and a good friend to everyone, she encourages the audience and friends: “God’s love is impartial, as long as you trust, you will find it.” If you are not a believer, it is advisable to start with a small prayer. ”

恩典见证 32.郑…

音频 5 分钟

郑秀文,华语乐坛天后级的超级艺人,自1990年开始至今,她的专辑在全球销量已累积突破了2500百万张,成为香港最成功的女歌手之一。她同时也是香港影坛最具号召力及片酬最高的女星之一,演出过多部卖座电影。

郑秀文举行福音歌曲演唱会郑秀文出版福音专辑。然而在2005年拍完最后电影《长恨歌》后,郑秀文突然销声匿迹,而引起媒体高度好奇,甚至一度传出重病,死讯等负面消息。这一段长达三年的“非常时期”,正是她人生最黑暗,却是真实地经历上帝的一段生命历程。

2010年,重生的郑秀文带着信心,再度站在舞台上,对生命和世界有了全然不同的眼光。她胸怀着一颗被粹炼过,充满热情使命的心肠,藉着音乐,她大方告白自己的信仰历程,并用属于郑秀文的风格为上帝代言,传达她心中汹涌澎湃的爱和信念。

近日,郑秀文接受《真情部落格》采访,她卸下明星的光环,与观众朋友真情告白上帝大爱,采访中她因感动一度哽咽落泪,而纯真的笑容更告诉世人“靠着上帝我现在很好!”在镜头前,她还原真我,毫不避讳真实的年龄,袒露信主前追逐错误的价值观以致迷失自我,为了预知未来甚至求神问卜,以及患病期间不为人知的无力感。

“天后”的真实人生

今年38岁的郑秀文,已出道20年。她1999年参加香港第七届新秀歌唱比赛第三名而踏入歌坛,梅艳芳是那届的第一名,这场比赛堪称香港天王天后的踏板,郑秀文回忆当年说,“我参加比赛只是因为我读书不太好,对唱歌也蛮有兴趣,就试试看吧,抱着乱碰乱撞的心态参加了比赛。我的个性就是那么拼命,那么彻底,做每件事都义无反顾,勇往直前。”

坚强的意志力成就了郑秀文今天的辉煌,同时也一度给她带来碰撞和伤害。在演艺圈竞争的洪流中,她追逐着社会所灌输的世俗错误的价值观,将排名、金钱和美貌等同于郑秀文和她的生存价值。

“我很在意排名,这个就代表了郑秀文,没有排名就完蛋了。我的价值观一直非常错误,我一直追逐着世俗的错误的价值观,追追追,追到我以为,我单凭这些东西就等于我的生存价值。我的心里常常存在着一个黑洞,觉得这些才可以填满。但后来发现,必须要上帝的爱来拯救我才能填满。”这是郑秀文心底的声音。为了在娱乐圈中长盛不衰,她很想预知并掌控未来,有段时间常常算命。郑秀文坦言,这是自己很不愿意暴露的一件事。

为了达到理想的身材,郑秀文连续七天只吃两个苹果,就算昏倒也要维持大家眼中永远光鲜亮丽的天后。尤其是她接拍《瘦身男女》饰演忽胖忽瘦的女主角时,为了完成拍摄任务,郑秀文也在短时间内增肥减肥。那个过程令郑秀文支离破碎,她疯狂地减肥,每天不能进食,拼命跑步。结束之后,“我好像一条死掉的虫,瘫在沙发上,累到不行。我身体很弱,心灵更弱。但是我知道,十天之后又要拍了,又要穿回旗袍了,变成一个窈窕淑女。”

以前的郑秀文是许多品牌的大户,热衷奢侈品。“以前我买衣服很疯狂,去名牌店。他们都会特别地招待我,看到我会喊着‘郑小姐来了……’,然后会把衣架推出来,都最新的衣服。我觉得很满足,我的头上有一个光环。我发现,其实我很需要这些东西来荣耀我自己,包装我自己。”

完美主义、坚强意志力在错误价值观驱使下,令郑秀文伤痕累累,“追求完美带给我很大的伤害,也让我常常听不到自己心底的需要。我以为金钱、漂亮就是一切,没想到追求的过程让我感觉很受伤……我把很多错误的价值观放在自己身上,心那小,怎么能承载这么重的压力?我常忽略自己的感受,比方悲伤、身体的需要、休息的需要。”

爆发忧郁症

郑秀文长期活在伪装的坚强外表下,追逐名和利的同时,也被名气光环压得喘不过气来,持续和庞大工作量和莫名低潮对抗。2005年,她带着沉重的无力感,接下电影《长恨歌》女主角的工作。而这最终变成了压倒骆驼的最后一根稻草,令她不堪重负,爆发忧郁症。拍完《长恨歌》最后一个镜头,郑秀文好像一盏油灯,油尽灯枯。

那段过程,外界谣言四起,或真或假。许多人说郑秀文“入戏太深”、“角色附身”。 对这说法郑秀文不置可否,现在她才透露:“我不觉得我跳不出,只是这个借口也让我松一口气。我忧郁到一种不行的地步,人家这样说,反倒让我可以不用解释自己有忧郁症。”

早在拍摄《瘦身男女》的时候,郑秀文精神状况已经开始耗弱,只是她撑出坚强的外表,郑秀文自剖:“不是拍《长恨歌》让我忧郁,而是我带着忧郁去拍这部电影。”她还透露:“当时挺多广告合约,但每到开拍当天却因为沉重的无力感而不能工作,什么都准备好了,就是无法走出房间,最后一刻只好打电话给助理说我病了。所以不断的赔钱了事,很多混乱状况都是因为忧郁症。”

郑秀文停掉所有工作闭门在家。为了摆脱无力感和忧郁的吞噬,她拼命阅读来释放情感,投入每一本的小说里面,投入到每个主角当中,阅读到快要失掉自己,不吃饭也不睡觉。这个过程让郑秀文感觉到一点“抽离”,暂时忘掉忧郁和无力。

但是当她面临这种无力感时,生命已经变得完全没有意义。她一个月没有照镜子,七天不洗澡。“我好像生活在一个小木箱里,里面只有一个人,你好像呼吸不到,也嗅不到外面世界是什幺样。还有早上起床,我会有种很重的绝望。”就这样,郑秀文“白天跑去睡觉,把窗都关起来,把房间弄得黑黑的。晚上的时候月亮出来了,就可以活动一下了,出去吃饭,看看电视。”

最初的时候,郑秀文没有意识到这可能是忧郁症。而且她也不肯承认,不敢面对,不敢触碰这可能是忧郁症。郑秀文选择了逃避,缩回小小的世界,看状况会不会好一些。

上帝拯救失丧者

上帝亲自寻找失丧者,在郑秀文忧郁最严重的时候,她常常会听到一个声音,“郑秀文,这次可以救你的。不是医生,是我——上帝。你祈祷吧!”这个声音强烈持久,萦绕在郑秀文的耳边。郑秀文想起,她曾在十几岁时,和基督徒的姐姐做过决志祷告,并且表示要跟随上帝。因为当时年纪很小,她没有很认真地面对信仰。“祈祷后也忘了,算命、拜拜,什么都干。但是没有想到在我生命谷底的时候,是上帝出手拯救我。”

在自己的小屋里,郑秀文开始祈祷。她希望有团契生活,但又无法跟人群相处,郑秀文祷告求神开路。郑秀文跪下来,有些时候比较懒惰就躺下来了,有些时候坐下来,有些时候哭得很厉害,有些时候很激动,有些时候会喊出来‘你要救我’,有些时候就比较安静。“祈祷对我的情绪有很多安慰,给我的情绪很多流放。让我累积下来的负面情绪透过祈祷就慢慢医治,也慢慢一步一步看到上帝对我的带领。”

八个月后,上帝把郑秀文安排在一个很特别的查经班,让她认真面对自己的问题。第一天去查经班,一听到赞美诗想起的时候,郑秀文的眼泪决堤一样流个不停。“把里面一些很严重的伤痛,把里面一些困扰我的负面情绪,全都随着眼泪流出来。那是一种‘很安静地崩溃’”。

郑秀文的生命是从祷告开始翻转,她强调祷告的重要性:“所以我觉得祷告很重要,你祷告才知道这是上帝的回应。你没有祷告,怎么知道这是上帝的带领呢?”

在圣灵的光照下,她真正去面对自己。“我们都喜欢迎合这个世界的价值观,大部分人都欠缺活出自己的勇气,包括我。我叫郑秀文!当我拥有很多人人渴望的东西时,我却发现我的内心一无所有。”

郑秀文也认识到算命这种很蠢的方法并不能预知未来。当她经历忧郁的时候,这些东西完全不能帮助她爬起来。“我必须要有一个很大的力量去拯救我的人生观、价值观,把它们扭转过来。算命通通都没有办法,他们写东西给我,我完全烧掉。我的未来没有什么好担心的,就交给上帝。我每天就带着他给我的信心走下去。他给我的困难,他一定会给予我力量去跨过的。”

为了走出低潮,郑秀文勇敢向上帝求:“给我勇气再度面对人群,我希望做一场演唱会。你不要给我成功,我求你给我踏出这一步的力量,让我能够重新开始。”经过三年的忧郁,郑秀文开了一场复出演唱会,那天起床她感触很深,静静写了封信给自己,句句肺腑之言,演唱会中她公开读出,令在场观众唏嘘不已,她记得最后她对自己说:“最重要的是,你的勇气回来了。”说到这里,郑秀文哽咽起来。

上帝不仅给了郑秀文崭新的生命,而且磨掉了她个性当中的许多弱点。她检讨到自己过去自私、脾气差,还自命“直爽”,《圣经》使她明白爱是“不自夸、不张狂”,她懂了:“自私的人是不会开心的,但通过这三年,上帝给我很多磨练,我很多缺点都磨掉了。现在我还是有很多不好的地方,但是我愿意顺服。我非常珍惜跟人的关系,这种喜乐很重要。虽然我现在还是有很多缺点,但是我愿意顺服。”

义无反顾为福音

重新投入工作,郑秀文有了不同的使命,“我还是喜欢工作,喜欢努力的感觉,只是以前是追求成就感,现在发福音专辑、写见证书有很大的使命感。很巧妙地,我的生命能让人有启发,辛苦熬过这三年,越痛苦越值得!现在很多痛苦中的人都会找我谈,很多人好奇信仰的帮助,我用我小小的故事让人知道上帝的能力,我非常喜欢这角色。”

关于出福音专辑这一大的转变,不担心市场的反应吗?郑秀文说:“上帝给我平安、勇气、能力,因此我从第一天就不担心销量或被怎么定义,越不去想这这些,上帝越保守。我的动机很纯净,希望讲自己的故事让人得到帮助。”没想到福音专辑在香港一发行,销量立即直冲而上,她把全部版税捐出去,帮助了很多慈善机构,确实如她说 :“你越不去担心,动机越纯净,上帝帮助越大。”

用生命为上帝作见证,郑秀文说自己“义无反顾”,“我义无反顾出了一本书,开宗明义就说义无反顾非写不可。写这本书很挣扎,跟查经班姐妹说我很痛苦,不想写、不想打开自己,那得要公开自己最不好的地方,人家只要打我一拳我就无力抵抗了……我一直挣扎,还是顺服了。该怎么写,我经过很多祷告。当我却写的时候,发现停不下来,是上帝在帮我写。” 为福音愿意失丧生命的,必得着生命,顺服神写完这本书,郑秀文得到一种疗愈感,她发现,当她可以坦然当做历史摊开,忧郁症是真正画下句号了。

以前太忙碌,现在她珍惜跟家人相处的时间,也从一味接受爱的角色转换为爱的交流。对爱情呢?郑秀文说她对爱情有期待,对以前有反省,“以前是接受爱的那一方,以后我希望谈的恋爱是对等的可以被爱和付出爱。”

带着对于爱的崭新体会,郑秀文敞开拥抱、关怀灵魂。她到医院传福音,还跑去云南山区当一周的老师,住在当第一位老婆婆家,吃粗茶淡饭,她却说:“心灵像吃了补品,生命丰盛了。”她打算每年都和两个好友一起去。有次在蒙古帮失去父母的小孩洗澡,洗出来水是黑的,看到孩子泡在浴缸快乐得像只小鸭子,郑秀文说:“霎那时有种当妈妈的感觉!”

习惯被华服、物质包围的郑秀文,如今宁可把时间用来传福音,或聆听朋友的困难。现在的郑秀文,像个关怀天使,大家的好朋友,她鼓励观众朋友:“上帝的爱不偏不倚,只要信靠一定会找到。如果你不是信徒,建议从一个小小的祷告开始。”

Testimony…

 Listen for 8 min   

Deng Tianzhao: The miracle of life of the “King of Gambling”.

His story was made into a movie by the Hong Kong Video and Audio Mission many years ago [God of Gamblers]

He described it like a movie, and he can instantly “change cards” and “win every gamble”

Deng Tianzhao at a gambling gospel dinner

He won more than 80 million Hong Kong dollars “King of Gambling” Deng Tianzhao, lost all his money in half a year, huge debt, miserable, and finally when he was at the lowest point in his life, and planned to commit suicide to end his life, the true god of love found him and immediately saved his 。

Four generations of professional gamblers Four generations have been governed by the curse of gambling

Born in Malaysia at the age of 46, Tang Tien Siu was a professional gambler before he believed in Jesus. “My great-grandfather, grandfather and father were all professional gamblers,” he said. By the age of three, I had fallen in love with money, and at a young age, I loved to hold it close to my nose and smell it. I learned to gamble at the age of seven, and for twenty-eight years, I never left the table. Whether I was studying at university in London, England, or back in Malaysia to help my dad in the construction business, I never forgot to gamble. ”

In 84 years, due to the economic recession in Malaysia, the construction industry also blew a weak wind, and Father Deng proposed that Tianzhao go to the port together. The purpose of their travel is not to see the mountains, rivers, and scenic spots, but to visit different casinos in Australia. According to Mr. Tang, “There are casinos in four or five states in Australia, and we have a lot of fun gambling there every day. At that time, I did a little statistic that my “record” was not good 85 years ago, and I lost more than I won, but from January to November 85, I won as much as 30,000 Australian dollars, which is equivalent to 60,000 ringgit, which is quite an attractive amount!”

“Changing cards” supernatural power actually “wins every gamble”

At the end of November of the same year, in the Australian casino, this professional gambler Deng Tianzhao and a local foreign master who is famous for playing baccarat launched a tense and exciting “decisive battle” in the surrounding commotion. Deng Tianzhao recalled the scene and said: “For a time, the crowd around me became my cheerleaders; they vigorously advocated that I should fight for the Chinese. When I got the first hand, I secretly cried out that it was not good, because I had accumulated 23 years of gambling experience, and I learned from the sixth inspiration that my opponent’s hand was “eight” and mine was “zero”, in other words, as soon as the card was dealt, I was the loser. I kept muttering in my heart, “I have to be nine, I have to be nine.” “Unexpectedly, when I opened the card, mine turned out to be a “nine-point” win. At that moment, I exclaimed, “There are ghosts, there are ghosts!” and then my whole body trembled, and I repeated many times, “No reason; ”

“I didn’t bet on the second game. In the third game, the process was the same as the first game, and I won the next game with “nine points”. At that time, I couldn’t help but shout with joy: “I am developed!” Because I have the transcendent power to change cards, and I will have whatever cards I want, isn’t this equivalent to being invincible?” So Deng Tianzhao pleaded with Shangtian that he must keep this power and not let it leave him.

Won HK$80 million

Sure enough, the transcendent power made Deng Tianzhao win every time he was in the casino. According to him, he never lost his professional gambling record from December ’85 to ’91. During this period, he visited casinos scattered in Australia, Malaysia, Genting, Macau, South Korea, Las Vegas, the United Kingdom, and other places. Since every time he entered and exited Singapore, Mr. Tang, who was superstitious, decided to move his family to that blessed land in 87 years. In eight or nine years, this professional gambler even won the “reputation” of “Asian Pacific Gambling King Champion”.

“In those years, I earned 80 million Hong Kong dollars (equivalent to 18 million Singapore dollars), and my business was also doing well, so it can be said that wealth was rolling in during those days. I am rich and status, and I often put on an invincible appearance and am arrogant. For a while, I didn’t take people, especially the poor, into my eyes, and I looked down on them and discriminated against them. Later, it became even worse, and the six relatives did not recognize me, not only did they not recognize their father and family, but they also had a very distant relationship with his wife, and my wife and daughter were very afraid of me and never dared to harass me. At that time, I thought the most important thing was to make money. The pity is that although I have money, I have no sense of security, because I am often afraid of being kidnapped, so I have to hire underworld bodyguards to protect me; ”

Gambling reversal Every time you gamble, you will lose your luck

In July and August of ’90, Deng Tianzhao encountered a strange incident in the casino: “On that day, a strange old man with a white body and a white suit came to my side and persuaded, “You should stop gambling and stop gambling.” “How could I listen to him when I was in high spirits at that time? In the days to come, of course, money will continue to gamble. Six months later, my luck began to decline, and it seemed that my transcendent powers had been lost. Since the first month of 91 years, the “long-winning gambling king” has become a loser who “will lose every gamble”. Deng Tianzhao said: “In the past six months, I have completely lost all the 80 million yuan I have won! I have sold my real estate, my property, my car, and all my savings and everything I have lost all of a sudden, and I still owe a debt of 3 million S$. At that time, I was at a loss, so I had to go around looking for Xiangshi, a Feng Shui Master, and Psychic Medium for help, but unfortunately, there was no help. At the lowest level, I couldn’t eat for a whole week.

Jump off a building to escape from death

One night, I was sitting alone on the terrace of my apartment when I heard a voice reminding me that I might as well “commit suicide”. Now that you have no money and status, you have nothing to love in life, and after you jump down and die, you don’t need to repay your debts and no longer have to bear the responsibilities of your family. So I jumped from the fifteenth floor, and at the same time, I heard someone in front of me clearly saying, “Pray quickly, or it will be too late! God loves you.” At that moment, I shouted to the heavens, “If there is a god, you will let me see your love!”

“Somehow, at seven o’clock in the morning, I woke up and was still sitting on the terrace and not dead. I don’t know why, but two hours later, my brother-in-law called me from Hong Kong and said he was coming to see me in Singapore, and my bad intentions came again, and I was going to borrow 2 million from him under the pretext of lobbying him to invest so that I could gamble again and make a profit.

Today is your last chance to pray that God loves you

Deng Tianzhao took a group photo with everyone at a gambling gospel dinner

“My sister and brother-in-law asked me to accompany them to church on Sunday morning, and to please them so that they could lend me money, they agreed to go with them. When I got home in the afternoon, my brother-in-law asked me to sit down and listen to him “talk about Jesus”, and everyone knows that gamblers’ time is precious, so it took me four and a half hours to divert enlightenment, but unfortunately, something strange happened. In the middle of the lecture, my brother-in-law suddenly stood up, pointed at me, and said, “This is not the way, you have to pray quickly, or it will be too late! God loves you.” The voice was familiar, and it didn’t look like my brother-in-law’s voice. He admonished me three times, and each time he spoke more forcefully. I remembered what I heard yesterday on the terrace when I was about to kill myself, and I burst into tears, feeling that God loved me.

Then they invited me to a missionary meeting. The pastor on the stage that day shouted as if pointing at me, “Today is the last chance, I hope you can change, God loves you.” When I heard these familiar and affectionate calls, I wept bitterly, and my whole body fell and accepted Jesus as my Savior. ”

A miracle occurs to see the great love of the true God

Later, when we got to the airport to see my brother-in-law back in Hong Kong, he hugged me and told me that a few days ago in my sleep, (at the same time as I was about to jump off the building), the Holy Spirit woke up and moved him to leave for Singapore to visit me, just as I prayed to God – “If you are God, you will let me see your love.” At that moment, I cried and said to God, “I don’t know who you are, but I want to know you.” “I truly saw the greatness of God, who sent many times to persuade me, to love me, to restore me. I was so touched by God’s love that I was baptized as a Christian in June ’91. I was able to make this decision, and the happiest people were, of course, my sister and brother-in-law, who had prayed for me for 25 years, and my wife, who had been praying for a long time in tears and never giving up. Together, they shed tears of joy and watched me, a professional gambler, turn back.

The gambler’s curse dissolves the miraculous change of life

Luke 15:4 “Who among you has a hundred sheep and has lost one, and does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and goes after the lost sheep until he finds it?” Luke 15:17 I say to you, so rejoice in one sinner who repents, and so rejoices in heaven over him than over ninety-nine righteous men who do not need to repent.

Since then, I have not only been insulated from gambling, but I have also often testified in the church, warning those who are addicted to gambling and urging them not to be bound by this sin. For a long time, Deng Tianzhao served full-time in the church and later became a financial consultant to earn some money to support some Christian ministries. ”

From a professional gambler to a believer who testifies to God everywhere, Deng Tianzhao’s life has changed dramatically, once again proving that God is true. Are you or your family addicted to gambling and can’t extricate yourself? There is a true God who loves you, waiting for you to return.

Testimony…

 Listen for 9 min   

Demolition and rebuilding: Bless the LORD, my soul, and praise the name of all who is in me, and bless the LORD, my heart, and forget not all his goodness, and he forgives you all your sins and heals you of all your diseases. He redeems your life from death and crowns you with love and mercy. (Psalm 103:1-4).

Thank God, on September 30, 2009, two months after my stroke, I finally returned to Chicago safely from Hong Kong. Because the accident happened so suddenly, I still can’t imagine the danger that happened at that time, because when I fainted and collapsed at the Westin restaurant in Tianhe District, Guangzhou, I was completely unconscious. Now I can only think of this sudden onset, which must have scared the hearts of several of my colleagues who had breakfast with me. With great gratitude, my wife Qiuhong and I repeatedly read an initial admission record from the Department of Neurosurgery of the Third Affiliated Hospital of Sun Yat-sen University:

Patient Chen Chi was admitted to the hospital on 2009-08-09 due to convulsions all over his body and impaired consciousness for more than 5 hours. “The diagnosis was:

“Thrombosis of the superior sagittal sinus, multiple intracerebral hemorrhages in the bilateral frontal lobes, subarachnoid hemorrhage in the right frontal lobe, sudden generalized convulsions of the patient for no apparent reason 5 hours before admission, with impaired consciousness at that time”

I didn’t know anything about the stroke, and I never expected it to happen to me, I felt palpitations at the diagnosis of the above-mentioned brain doctor, and after reading it, my hands and feet trembled unexpectedly, and a little cold sweat broke out on my forehead as if I was reading my death certificate.

Fear and helplessness in the face of suffering

Frankly, in the face of such a dilemma, I am not a person who is strong in faith and relies on God for everything. The first few days after a stroke were the most terrifying and helpless moments of my life. I vaguely remember that my eyes were blurry at that time, I didn’t know where I was, I only vaguely felt that there were urinary catheters and drips inserted in my body, and the medical staff walked quickly past the bedside. Then I was horrified to find that the left side of my body couldn’t move. I tried to move my hands and feet with all my strength, but nothing happened. Fear, wandering, and helplessness immediately took over my heart.

What happened to the accident? I had breakfast with a few colleagues before, and we were not talking and laughing as usual. Why am I now half paralyzed, lying in an ICU bed? A series of sinister and frightened thoughts welled up in my mind, and my heart seemed to be dragged down by a heavy hammer and fell into the abyss. Am I going to be bedridden for the rest of my life, will I become a vegetative person? What about my family, my work, and my ministry? Where are my relatives? Suddenly, I heard a very soft but unfamiliar voice: “Mr. Chen, do you still recognize me? I am Echo, a waiter at the Westin Hotel, and I have come to visit you in the hope that you will recover soon; I don’t understand, how can you be so good, how can you suffer such a hardship?” Although I couldn’t make out her face, her tone was deeply sympathetic. In retrospect, it seems that God was going to use this unbeliever to test my reactions and choices in the face of suffering. Thank you, Lord, that during the whole process, even though my heart was dark, I didn’t ask, “Why did you allow this to happen to me all of a sudden?” Who am I to dare to challenge God’s sovereignty by questioning God’s sovereignty?

As Job 11:7-8 says, “Can you fathom God, and how can you fathom the Almighty? What else can you do if His wisdom is higher than heaven? What else can you know deeper than Hades?” I am convinced that the God I know and accept is not the author of suffering and that there is no error in Him, and even though we may not fully understand everything behind it while suffering, we can trust that God has absolute wisdom to control everything, and in His will, can lead us through the valley of the shadow of death.

To be healed, you must first deal with sin

I only received the first six days of treatment at the Third Affiliated Hospital of Sun Yat-sen University, and then I was transferred to Hong Kong by the U.S. Consulate for further treatment. After two weeks, my condition did not improve, and I began to feel depressed and disappointed. I was so impatient that the left side of my body was still paralyzed, and I thought that I would have to be supported by at least three people when I sat up, otherwise, my body would fall to the left and right, and I would have to trouble others to urinate and urinate, and I felt very embarrassed and helpless for this. For me, a former workaholic, this is a painful and difficult truth to accept. During that time, I often asked God, “How long am I going to endure this state of dependence on others for everything?” and many nights I tossed and turned, thinking wildly, and could not sleep until dawn. When I did physiotherapy during the day, I felt weak and weak due to lack of sleep, and my mood became more and more depressed. This vicious cycle continued until, one morning in the third week after my transfer, I was praying devotionally when a passage of scripture unfolded before my eyes.

That’s Luke 5:18-25, which tells the story of Jesus healing a paralytic man:

“And a paralytic man was carried on a mattress to carry him in before him, but because of the great number of people he could not find a way to carry him in, he went up to the roof of the house and took him into the middle of the roof with his mat from among the tiles, and was in the presence of him. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Thy sins have been forgiven of him, and immediately he arose in the presence of them all and took up the mat on which he was lying, and went to his house, to the glory of God.” ”

The Holy Spirit enlightened me through this passage and gave me a deeper understanding of this passage so that I realized that God’s healing is a comprehensive treatment of body, mind, and spirit and that I need to be healed not only physically, but also spiritually. I read and pondered over and over again, and I noticed the order in which the Lord Jesus performed this miracle healing: the paralytic man got up and walked because his sins were forgiven and his heart was cleansed, and then Jesus told him, “Get up, take up your mat and go home.” It turns out that the Lord Jesus wants me to deal with my sins, because only He can forgive my sins, so His primary concern is whether my sins have been dealt with clearly. When the problem of sin is solved, the other problems are solved. Sin cuts us off from a close relationship with God, it often destroys our relationships both externally and internally, and it prevents people from enjoying the peace and joy that God provides.

Thank you to the Lord that He made me understand that “spiritual paralysis” is more terrible and more difficult to cure than all kinds of physical diseases, because it numbs the soul, loses its sensitivity to sin, and eventually loses any ability to resist. Many times, Christians emphasize repentance only to unbelievers, but they avoid mentioning their transgressions, or hide in the depths of their hearts, as if they have developed immunity to sin. This phenomenon can happen to any believer, no matter how long he has been a believer, and how senior he is in the ministry.

During my six-week hospitalization, God gave me a tranquil environment in which I was completely naked and open in His presence, allowing His Word to cut the cancer of sin from my heart like a sharp blade, and allowing His Holy Spirit to do the healing work. Repentance is not easy, but it is the only way for Christians to pursue holiness. Confession of sin is very difficult for me, and there are two obstacles:

(1) self-righteousness, and it is difficult to be humble. This personality has gradually developed since I came to the United States. Even though I have been a Christian for more than 30 years, this old self still haunts me. Especially when my career is smooth and my ministry is somewhat fruitful, I lose my ability to reflect on these two aspects even more.

(2) I find that when I am faced with a variety of big and small choices, I often make trade-offs based on my own wisdom and personal experience, rather than taking God first, asking Him first to see if it is His will, and in turn even walking ahead of Him.

Under the light of the Holy Spirit, I opened the eyes of my heart finally realized my spiritual and behavioral weaknesses, and unreservedly confessed my debt to God and man. In today’s generation, some too many people wear masks to be good people, who are polite and follow the rules on the surface, but in their hearts, they hide unfathomable thoughts and even have all kinds of selfish desires and evil feelings (including myself). Even with friends and loved ones, we often don’t always treat them with sincerity, let alone to the point of putting them in the heart. It can be said that superficial good deeds do not reflect the true state of mind of a person, nor does good behavior bring a person up to the standards set by God. As the Bible says, “For the Lord does not look at men as men: men look at the outward appearance, and the Lord looks at the inwardness.” (1 Samuel 16:7) Only God knows all the thoughts and thoughts of the human heart: “Who can understand the heart of man who is deceitful above all things, and who is wicked to the extreme?” (Jeremiah 17:9).

Many people think that confession of sin is an act of cowardice, but this is a very wrong idea. On the contrary, I deeply realized that confession of sin is a rather courageous expression, and it is the initiative of man to face his true nature: even the dark, filthy, invisible, and ugliest side is revealed in the light of God’s true light, and there is no need to hide it, and it can no longer be concealed. Just as doctors use X-rays, CT scans, or MRIs to examine the root cause of physical ailments, God’s Word and the guidance of the Holy Spirit can help us detect all kinds of spiritual problems, both revealed and hidden.

Mt 1:6 says, “Where do sons honor their fathers and servants fear their masters, but where do I honor me as my father, and where do I fear me as my master?” It turns out that as a child of God and a servant who serves Him, I have neglected my attitude of fear of the Lord. My arrogant and unruly temperament, coupled with decades of worldly social experience, has molded me into a very assertive personality, and I have also established a set of ways of doing things that are not pleasing to God, that is: relying on experience and feeling, rather than praying to God first and seeking His will; emphasizing efficiency and valuing planning more than serving; an arbitrary attitude and not asking for the opinions of others; and doing some so-called big things, which are actually good and great achievements, and have no direct connection to the kingdom of God.

Frankly, when I have achieved a little bit in a worldly environment and think I can be the master of my own house, it is often a time of crisis in my spiritual life. In 2009, the apparent success of my career and ministry lured me into the abyss of self-aggrandizement. In May 2009, I was nominated by USCIS and received the “Most Outstanding Employee” award from all of the federal agencies in Chicago, out of more than 80,000 employees, 300 were selected, but only 10 were honored. In early June, my application for a short-term transfer to the U.S. Consulate in Guangzhou was approved, and these two events were very beneficial for my future career. In ministry, I have been the director general of the Glory God Communication Association in Chicago, where I preach the gospel through audio-visual media, as well as evangelism in restaurants and a column in the New York Clarion Monthly. Two years ago, I also called for the establishment of the “Tianle Choir”, which has more than 30 members, more than half of whom are Christians in the United States, and on the eve of the 2008 Olympic Games, we held sacred music concerts in Beijing, Qingdao, and Shanghai. However, when organizing these creative activities, I didn’t hand over the steering wheel to God, but held on to it myself. Because “obedience” is not in my nature, it naturally leads to an unhealthy ministry mentality, which is not pleasing to God.

Paul said, “Therefore I beseech you, brethren, in the mercy of God, that you offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, and that it is only right for you to serve in this way.” Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is the good, perfect, and pleasing will of God. (Romans 12:1-2) Why is it so difficult for us to follow this catchy verse? I now understand that the fundamental question is whether or not I am willing to surrender the sovereignty of my life to God. To please God is to give up your evil desires and desires, to call on the name of the Lord in everything, and to follow the Holy Spirit’s leading, simply for the sake of His glorified works. Even if it is a trivial service in the eyes of man. God wanted me to learn to Xi to be a “useless servant” after His heart. As the Lord Jesus said to his disciples, “So when you have done all that you have been commanded, just say, ‘We are worthless servants, and what we have done is what we ought to do.'” (Luke 17:10) Therefore, my ministry before Him, if it were not by the grace of God and the leading of the Holy Spirit, would be false, unreliable, unpleasing to God, and of no eternal value, even if it seemed to others. Faith in God is a mutual relationship and action, not an expression of self-emotion or self-will. What is the relationship? It is the relationship between man and God, and what action is the complete obedience and obedience of man to God?

It dawned on me that the blind spots of so many ministries over the past few years had been preventing me from getting a deeper understanding of what God’s good, pure, and pleasing will was. It turns out that I have always served God with confidence and passion, but I have stripped away the most important element of “wholehearted obedience” from the ministry, and as a result, many so-called ministry activities have become empty and meaningless. For God said to Saul through the prophet Samuel, “Is the Lord pleased with burnt offerings and peace offerings as he is pleased with the obedience of his voice? The sin of disobedience is equal to the sin of sorcery, and the sin of stubbornness is the same as the sin of worshipping false gods and idols. (1 Samuel 15:22-23). Jesus Christ Himself is our best example, so Paul says, “He was very much God, and did not consider equality with God to be a precedent, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a slave and becoming a man, and having been made in human form, he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even on the cross.” (Philippians 2:7-8) God’s concern is not how much time or mind I spend trying to figure out what I think is good and valuable to His kingdom. What He asks of me is a heart that respectfully seeks His will. To paraphrase the preacher Brother Yin Daoxian: “We must first truly realize in our hearts that we are useless, completely useless before we can be useful in the hands of God.” This is the spiritual dialectic, the spiritual mystery, and the spiritual grace, and even the fact that we can truly realize our uselessness is the grace of God. ”

Thank God for allowing me to calm down and reflect on this kind of reflection amid my illness, which is truly a great blessing.

Experience the warmth of God’s faithfulness and love of family and friends

Through this stroke, God made me re-examine my relationship with my family, and I felt strongly the faithful love from God and experienced first-hand how warm, sincere, and unrequited my family’s love for me was.

God’s mercy and love are indeed above all else, but my wife Qiuhong’s unwavering and meticulous care for me during my illness is as deep as the sea. I later learned that after receiving the news that I had had a stroke, my wife, who was in the United States, took the earliest flight to Guangzhou. During the long 14-hour flight, Pastor Li Chaoqiang encouraged her “May the peace of the Lord Jesus be with you” before leaving, which became the greatest comfort and strength in her heart. When she was rushed to Guangzhou Hospital, she did not despair in the face of my delirium. She stood by my bedside day and night, holding my hand praying for me, and reciting Psalm 23 for me over and over again until I recognized her and we hugged and wept. It was then that I heard a phrase that I will remember for the rest of my life: “Mike, rest assured, no matter what the outcome, I will take care of you to the end, this is my promise before God.” ”

In fact, from the time I suffered a stroke to the ongoing recovery process today, my wife has not left me for a moment. Not only that, but God has given her the strength and wisdom to handle all kinds of important decisions and make arrangements for me. During my hospitalization in Hong Kong, she always curled up on the chair in the ward for one night and dragged her tired body to accompany me for acupuncture therapy the next day. At the end of the vacation, to stay and take care of me, she begged her boss to allow her to work in Hong Kong. During this time, my wife also went back to the United States to visit her son, who was alone at home and traveled around to inquire about the best rehabilitation centers in Chicago to pave the way for my future recovery.

My wife’s love for me is so deep and unreserved, and while I am grateful, I feel that I owe too much to my wife. Married for 27 years, in the relationship between husband and wife, I am more and more busy with work and ministry, getting along with each other gradually like gentlemen’s friends, emotionally losing the sweetness of each other at the beginning, not to mention spiritual fellowship, we try not to quarrel, tolerate each other, live in peace, I already feel very good. But as the head of the family, I have always ignored the Bible’s teaching to love my wife. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for the church…… Let each one of you love his wife as himself. A wife should honor her husband. (Ephesians 5:25).

I still remember my wife used to say to me: “You like to compose and sing so much, lead poems, and play poems, why don’t you express this enthusiasm to me at home, everything is so rational?” Women’s emotional world is very delicate, and the husband’s sincere concern for his wife and body language with love is often more effective than lengthy truths. According to Biblical principles, without loving and doing our part, we as brothers do not want to earn the respect of our wives, no matter how godly we look, how extensive our ministry is, and how successful our business is, it is a false sign to her, just as Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for hypocrisy. During my illness, I not only confessed my sins before God, but also expressed my guilt to my wife Qiuhong, and slowly learned that Xi Moody Bible College often broadcasts Pastor Gary Chapman’s radio program “The Five Languages of Love”, which is applied to all aspects of daily life, and my wife told me that in fact, the standard of “love language” she asks me to express to her is not high, as long as I sincerely give her a gentle hug (body language), appreciate what she does (with a grateful heart), and enter with a joyful smile ( Always with joy in your heart), sharing prayer (deep spiritual fellowship) is enough.

The ignorance of the past has led me away from the teachings of the Bible, and it is only now that I have realized that our spouses and children are unique and precious gifts from God that need to be cherished and connected with love.

God who hears prayer

Every time I think of the care and love of my brothers and sisters, the more I feel unworthy, and because of this, I experience that God has heard the earnest prayers of many people.

Of course, God did not make me stand up immediately in a supernatural way, but He prepared the best hospital doctor for me, the care of my family, and the power of God to support me, like sending a group of angels to protect me. God has indeed heard and answered the prayers of the churches and brothers and sisters, and God will heal in His good pleasure. Looking back, it turns out that every difficult situation has come to us, and whenever my wife and I feel that things cannot be solved, God has already known and made good arrangements for us, even more than we could have imagined. Here are a few specific examples that demonstrate God’s greatness, faithfulness, love, omniscience, and omnipresence:

→ Taken to the hospital within 3 hours of stroke. God allowed a stroke to happen to me (in fact, I neglected to control my high blood sugar and too much work pressure), but God also arranged for someone to send me to the hospital immediately for emergency treatment, to avoid the danger of many sequelae of “three deviations and five obstacles”.

→ The accident was not in the hotel room. I fainted in the restaurant while having breakfast with my colleagues. If you go back to the room and have a stroke, it’s unimaginable.

→ The incident occurred in Guangzhou, not in Beijing. I originally wanted to apply for a business trip to the Beijing Immigration Bureau, but because I could speak Cantonese, I was later transferred to Guangzhou. Otherwise, the hospital would not have been able to transfer me to Hong Kong by plane shortly after my severe stroke. His wife Qiuhong and her two older sisters are not proficient in Mandarin, which also causes difficulties in communicating with doctors and taking care of them in all aspects.

→ The Affiliated Hospital of Sun Yat-sen University has MRI (magnetic resonance imaging equipment). The Third Affiliated Hospital of Sun Yat-sen University is only a 10-minute drive from the Westin Tianhe District in Guangzhou, where I live.

→ the Consulate’s arrangement for transfer to Hong Kong for treatment. God prepared for me several medical staff from the U.S. Consulates in Guangzhou and Hong Kong to negotiate with the Affiliated Hospital of Sun Yat-sen University to transfer to Hong Kong within a week.

→ God prepared for me the best hospital, doctors, physiotherapy, and acupuncture in Hong Kong.

→ care for your family. God’s wife, Qiu Hong, two older sisters in Hong Kong, and my younger brother in Guangzhou, took turns to take care of me so that I could recuperate with peace of mind and speed up the recovery time.

→ Continue rehabilitation. After returning to Chicago, God prepared an ideal rehabilitation center for me at the Chicago Rehabilitation Institute, less than half an hour away from home, and the center staff picked me up.

→ My wife is allowed by the company to work from home full-time so that I can take care of my diet and daily life.

What can I say before God other than to be grateful? I remember one time when I was in a bad mood, my sister comforted me softly by the bedside and said, “Mike, cheer up, don’t you feel God’s work in you strongly? He rescued you from the brink of death, healed you, and took care of you so thoughtfully in all things, He must have sent a team of angels to defend you, you should be full of joy, why are you depressed?” then I thought of Psalm 919-11 says: Therefore, I am convinced of the reality of experiencing the protection of God’s messengers.

Demolition and reconstruction

I learned to draw Xi closer to the Lord because of this severe stroke and once again surrendered myself to His hands by faith. It can even be said that the greatest blessing that illness has brought me is not only the healing of physical ailments, but also the spiritual restoration and restoration. I deeply realized that one of the purposes of suffering was that God loved me and brought me to the throne of His grace through suffering. “Whatever I love, I will rebuke and discipline him, so be zealous and repent. (Revelation 3:19) “For what the Lord loves, he will rebuke, just as a father rebukes his beloved son.” —Proverbs 3:12.

Inside: Tear down the castle of the inner world of the old me

The prophets used the rather horrific words “torn, bruised, destroyed, overturned, afflicted” to show that God sometimes uses drastic means to tear down our inner world. The same is true for me, in the case of music ministry, after the stroke, my left hand is stiff and I still can’t play an instrument, my speech is no longer “articulate”, and my singing is no longer beautiful. These changes are quite a test for me, a musician who writes songs and has been involved in music ministry for more than 20 years, who has been using poetry to hold music evangelism, and published five poetry CDs. I also struggled with this, hoping to find an answer from God that would satisfy me. I asked God, “Is it necessary to tear me down so completely before I need to be transformed?” Of course, God is still silent to this day, but I have found the answer from daily reflection: God wants me to reevaluate and reverse my attitude towards worship and music ministry. I should concentrate on Jesus and His cross and make Him the only object of worship in my heart, rather than using music to show my talents. To be honest, I no longer feel bad about being out of breath, out of tune, and unable to pronounce words when I sing every Sunday because I now understand who I’m singing for and why.

External: Tear down the pursuit of the world

Admittedly, the world was still quite attractive to me before the stroke. On the one hand, I am still young from retirement age, and on the other hand, I have the opportunity to advance, and I have to work in the immigration office decently and help many people. I feel that I have a successful career and can serve, as long as there is no conflict between the two, it can be regarded as God’s special grace and blessing. But invisibly, this kind of thinking and lifestyle of “one leg wants to step on two boats” falls into Satan’s tricks, forgetting that there is no middle way for believers to take at the level of ministry. The word of the Lord is clear: “One cannot serve two masters, either hating one and loving another, or valuing one and despising another, and you cannot serve God and mammon at the same time.” (Matthew 6:24).

Because I was so focused on my work and ministry that I couldn’t do it at the same time, I ended up damaging my body, neglecting my family, and not being able to concentrate on serving God. This win-win mentality of wanting to be a CEO in the world and doing a great job in ministry is certainly not God’s will, because Jesus said, “Lord, our God is the only Lord, and you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.” (Mark 12:29-30) The tone here is imperative, with no free choice or other vague interpretation.

Reconstruction: Loving people’s lives with God’s love and centeredness

During my stay in Hong Kong, apart from experiencing God’s miraculous healing, what excites me the most is that I am willing to share God’s love with others, like a flame burning in my heart. I was in the same room with Japanese, British, and Australians, and I prayed about their illnesses and told me what God was doing to me. The Japanese patient said that he was Shin (Shinto), but he did not refuse me to pray for Him in the name of Jesus Christ. God’s grace came to two special ladies through me, a peasant woman who had come from Canton to take care of me temporarily. Although she could not read, she had a longing heart and accepted the Lord immediately. Since then we have prayed together, and I taught her to recite the Lord’s Prayer in the Bible and to repair her bad relationship with her mother-in-law and husband. She prayed to the Lord for my healing as well. Seeing God heal me in six weeks, her heart was filled with joy and she was willing to preach the gospel to her family and find a spiritual home when she returned to Guangzhou. Another woman’s husband was trying to give up after seven unsuccessful surgeries to remove her large intestine, but one of the Christian nurses working in the intensive care unit brought her to my ward and asked me to pray for her husband. I said I was willing, but I also told her that there was no point in praying unless she knew who we were praying to.

Thank the Lord that after listening to the gospel message I shared with her, she was willing to accept the Lord Jesus as her personal Savior, and then we prayed to the Lord with tears in our eyes. Although we never had the opportunity to see each other again and wondered if her husband would be healed, may God preserve her faith and continue to follow up with the Christian nurse. What prompted me to rekindle this passion for evangelism was the natural response of my heart being rebuilt by the Lord and experiencing God’s deep love and whole-person healing. Just as a Samaritan woman who met the Lord Jesus and understood the truth, and after experiencing God’s compassion and acceptance, her heart welled up with indescribable joy, and she immediately left a jug of water and went to the city to tell the people the good news that she had met the Messiah.

Today, a Christian who is untouched by evangelism or who is unspeakable about his faith is likely to have not tasted the gift of God. Perhaps such believers still retain castles built with their old selfish desires in their hearts, so that they form too heavy loads and too many walls to obstruct them, but they let themselves be trapped by the siege and unable to break through.

In addition to this, after this disaster, I have found that there is no difference between pitying others and being compassionate. Sympathy for what others are going through is an attempt to share and alleviate the pain and anxiety of others, but it is not a level of empathy. Now, when I am faced with another patient, in addition to sympathizing with his illness, I can also feel what he feels in his heart, understand his situation, and share his suffering more powerfully. Because of this receiving, whenever I meet patients in the Chicago Rehabilitation Center who are doing rehabilitation together, the universal love and compassion of the Lord Jesus deeply motivates me, and I am willing to secretly pray for these patients and also find an opportunity to tell them about God’s wonderful work in me.

Cherish every day of life

Before I had a stroke, I always felt like I had time in my own hands. What can’t be done can be continued tomorrow, otherwise, there is still next month, and there is always enough time to complete it. When I wake up every morning after the stroke and feel my pulse beating and breathing freely, I truly thank God for giving me a new day, where the days are no longer ordinary and at my disposal, but every minute is as precious as a grain of jade. As James 4:14-15 says, “You do not yet know what tomorrow will bring.” What is your life? You are a cloud, which disappears after a short time. But say, ‘If the Lord wills, we can live, and we can do this or that.’ ”

Recognizing the fragility and transience of life has led me to place greater emphasis on the pursuit of a relationship with the living God and the meaning of living in the world. God gives the world the freedom to choose the direction and purpose of his life, but He has special guidance and discipline for His children. God wants every child to build up a holy character and choose a Christian life. The ideal standard of Christian personality is to be like Jesus Christ. So Jesus said to his disciples, “Be perfect, therefore, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.” (Matthew 5:48) We are to practice this perfection with greater love, a more humble spirit, a more perfect character, a more complete intellectual capacity, and more witnesses to the Lord.

The stroke was a grave warning from God, telling me that I was already standing on the edge of the abyss of death and that my life would have been gone long ago if it had not been for His hand holding me tightly and then lifting me up smoothly and putting me back into the world. I kept wondering since God had given me a chance to live again, how could I go back and be as careless as I was before the stroke, staying up all night, eating at irregular intervals, wasting my body without restraint, and wasting my time?” Therefore, glorify God in your bodies. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) Reading this passage in the past has been very confusing, but now we understand that because our bodies are created by God, to treat our bodies correctly is to glorify Him. It is only when we fully affirm that the body, mind, and spirit are inseparable and interdependent that we can cherish and maintain the body and allow it to play out the good purpose of God’s creation. No wonder John would say, “Beloved, may you prosper in all things and be strong in body, just as your soul prosper.” (John 3:1:2).

Conclusion
“Offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving to God and pay your vows to the Most High, and call on me in the day of trouble, and I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me. Whoever offers a sacrifice of thanksgiving is glory. Me.” (Psalm 50:14-15)

Suffering is uncomfortable, but it also deepens my understanding of God’s attributes: the exercise of His power—rescuing me from death according to His will, His faithfulness and love—miraculous healing, His omniscience, Omnipotent – the power to make every proper arrangement and care. In my case, He replaced punishment with healing, curses with blessings, and chastity with refinement. I don’t know how long God will let me live on this earth, but as long as I still have the breath of life, I am willing to witness the wonderful work He has done in me and become an outlet for preaching the gospel and announcing the good news. I deeply understand that “although the outer body is destroyed, the inner body is destroyed.” But it is being renewed day by day” (2 Corinthians 4:16).

May all glory be to the Triune God. Amen.

Chen Chi is from Shunde, Guangdong, and grew up in Hong Kong. Graduated from the Chinese Department of National Taiwan University and received a master’s degree from the Department of Social Work of Illinois. Currently, he is the director of the Citizenship and Naturalization Department of the Chicago Immigration Bureau of the U.S. Department of Justice and is also the director general of the Chicago God of Honor Communication Association.

Testimony…

 Listen for 4 min   

In Hollywood, two Chinese directors are very famous, one is Ang Lee, who shined at last year’s Oscars, and the other is John Woo. John Woo’s childhood life also had a great impact on his subsequent film career.

Wu Yusen, born on May 1, 1946, was born in a poor family in Guangzhou. Soon he followed his family to Hunan, and then to Hong Kong as a refugee. He dropped out of school when his father died of illness when he was about to graduate from high school, but he still used his spare time to teach himself history, philosophy, art, etc., and more importantly, he loved movies from a young age. As he recalled his childhood life in an interview with Hong Kong’s “Film Fortnightly”: “Since I was a child, I have loved movies, whether it is Western, Cantonese or Japanese.

At that time, I didn’t have the rich money to buy a ticket to get in. I remember one time, at the Great World Cinema, I took my little brother and sneaked into the balcony of the theater when I entered the theater, unfortunately, the usher found me and rolled me down the stairs with a palm. But this palm did not make me give up my desire to watch this movie, on the contrary, I quickly picked up my brother and followed the crowd downstairs. When I was in middle school, my passion for watching movies never diminished.”

In addition, it is said that the place where he grew up was rampant with gangsters and that he was able to attend secondary school because of the American donation (i.e., the help of the church) sent by Luther. This had a great impact on John Woo’s film career, on the one hand, he wanted to show the masculine and violent aesthetics produced by the conflict between the “good guys” and the “bad guys” in the gang, and on the other hand, he did not forget to exaggerate the benevolent spirit of the “good guys” of the gangsters, and even repeatedly appeared in his works, the church, a symbol of sacred Christianity. He also said, “I am a Christian, influenced by religious ideas of love, sin, and salvation. The ancient chivalrous spirit of chivalry is now gone, and we have to face evil alone.”

John Woo’s early works

John Woo’s film style, in addition to the influence of his childhood life, is also deeply influenced by his mentor Zhang Che, but his film career did not start with Zhang Che.

In 1069, John Woo entered the Cathay Pacific Film Company by chance and soon met Zhang Che as a production assistant. After Cathay Pacific announced its closure in 1970, he was introduced to Shaw Brothers Films by Zhang Che and served as Zhang Che’s assistant director, such as “Water Margin”, “Ma Yongzhen”, “Stinging Horse” and so on. Zhang Che’s film works, after “One-armed Knife” established its position in martial arts films, more and shows the world of friendship and violence between men, “Broken Intestine Sword”, “Revenge”, “Thirteen Taibao”, “Stabbing Horse”, “Crippled”, etc., full of tragic pictures of shirtless battles and intestinal battles, “Casting Names”, which will be released at the end of this year, is also adapted from Zhang Che’s classic movie “Stinging Horse”, and its ending is the tragic picture of Zhang Wenxiang played by Jiang David being disemboweled, although there is no “Thirteen Taibao” The corpse of the five horses is as tragic as that, but it is also extraordinary. Zhang Che’s film style is in line with the mentality left by John Woo’s growth process, and it also had a profound impact on him – nearly 20 years later, John Woo also adapted “Stinging Horse” into “Bloody Street” to pay tribute to his mentor Zhang Che.

Heroic nature

In the early 80s, John Woo quit Golden Harvest and joined New Arts City Shortly after filming “Funny Times” for New Arts City, but his film career did not develop smoothly, and he was even arranged by New Arts City to go to Taiwan to inspect the local film production situation. It wasn’t until the appearance of this “True Colors of Heroes” that John Woo and Chow Yun-fat took their film careers to the next level.

At this time, John Woo was full of pride and ambition for movies, but he didn’t have the time to play well, and Chow Yun-fat, although he was popular in the TV series “Shanghai Tang” ten years ago, but many of his film careers were literary films, such as “Love in a Fallen City” (blog), “The Legend of Yu Dafu”, etc. (there are also action movies, such as “City Patrol Horse”), but the box office is not good, known as “box office poison”. So, such two depressed men, plus Dillon, who was born in Shaw Brothers and also collaborated with John Woo (“Stinging Horse” was the film they collaborated on that year), popular singer Leslie Cheung, etc., jointly performed this movie full of men’s feelings, ambitions and even ups and downs, “The True Colors of Heroes”.

“The True Color of Heroes” broke the local box office record of a Hong Kong film with a box office of 34.65 million, and won the Best Film and Best Actor awards at the 6th Hong Kong Film Awards. The father-son love, brotherly love, friendship love, male and female love, wronged victimization, and revenge of the men touched by it vividly portrays the love in the hearts of men The mentality of the Hong Kong people after it was determined that Hong Kong’s sovereignty would be recovered in the early morning of July 1, 1997: in the context of the return to the motherland, their citizens are powerless to change this reality, but they do not know what will happen after the return; and in “The True Color of Heroes”, they also lamented several times that the times are different from the past……

The Road to Hollywood

John Woo came to Hollywood in 1993 and has been directing for more than ten years, and has also directed many movies such as “The Ultimate Target”, “Broken Arrow”, “The Face of the Heroes” (also known as “Changing Face”), “Mission Impossible 2”, “The Wind Whisperer”, “Fatal Reward” and many other movies and TV movies such as “New Across the Seas” and “Supreme Black Jack”. But I don’t know if it’s because of the lack of adaptation or what, John Woo’s Hollywood film career is not so wishful.

Comparing “Mission Impossible 2”, which John Woo is good at in action movies and has achieved good box office in North America or around the world, compared with the previous “Mission Impossible”, may illustrate this problem. “Mission Impossible” is directed by the famous thriller director Brian De Palma, adapted from a classic action TV series in the 70s, the director is not satisfied with copying the plot of the TV series, which not only changes the leader of the secret service team in the TV series to the behind-the-scenes of the criminal, but also sets up twists and turns of the plot, enigmatic characters, etc., creating the suspense in the film, and making the plot full of tension. The sequel directed by John Woo, except for the change of face at the beginning of the film (or borrowing from the plot in the first part) with a little suspense, basically narrates this action movie in a straight line, so in terms of action, “Mission Impossible 2” is far better than the first part, but it is beyond the reach of the tension of the plot – John Woo made a suspenseful spy movie into a pure action movie. This also exposes a problem of director John Woo himself: the incongruity between the control of the action scenes and the control of the plot. (Similar problems arose with his war film “The Wind Whisperer” and the sci-fi film “Deadly Pay.”) )

“Red Cliff” returns

Today, after more than a decade of twists and turns in Hollywood, John Woo finally decided to “return”, not only serving as the executive producer of the film “Heaven’s Mouth”, but also directing “Red Cliff”, the most expensive film work so far.

John Woo also revealed that if he wanted to start filming a documentary, he will choose a documentary with the theme of Sun Yat-sen, the father of the nation. Recently, Mel Gibson’s “The Passion of the Christ” was a big hit, and John Woo, who is a Christian, said that he had seen it, and he liked it, and said that if he was not a director, he would have become a pastor and help those most in need.