Testimony…
Listen for 9 min
Demolition and rebuilding: Bless the LORD, my soul, and praise the name of all who is in me, and bless the LORD, my heart, and forget not all his goodness, and he forgives you all your sins and heals you of all your diseases. He redeems your life from death and crowns you with love and mercy. (Psalm 103:1-4).
Thank God, on September 30, 2009, two months after my stroke, I finally returned to Chicago safely from Hong Kong. Because the accident happened so suddenly, I still can’t imagine the danger that happened at that time, because when I fainted and collapsed at the Westin restaurant in Tianhe District, Guangzhou, I was completely unconscious. Now I can only think of this sudden onset, which must have scared the hearts of several of my colleagues who had breakfast with me. With great gratitude, my wife Qiuhong and I repeatedly read an initial admission record from the Department of Neurosurgery of the Third Affiliated Hospital of Sun Yat-sen University:
Patient Chen Chi was admitted to the hospital on 2009-08-09 due to convulsions all over his body and impaired consciousness for more than 5 hours. “The diagnosis was:
“Thrombosis of the superior sagittal sinus, multiple intracerebral hemorrhages in the bilateral frontal lobes, subarachnoid hemorrhage in the right frontal lobe, sudden generalized convulsions of the patient for no apparent reason 5 hours before admission, with impaired consciousness at that time”
I didn’t know anything about the stroke, and I never expected it to happen to me, I felt palpitations at the diagnosis of the above-mentioned brain doctor, and after reading it, my hands and feet trembled unexpectedly, and a little cold sweat broke out on my forehead as if I was reading my death certificate.
Fear and helplessness in the face of suffering
Frankly, in the face of such a dilemma, I am not a person who is strong in faith and relies on God for everything. The first few days after a stroke were the most terrifying and helpless moments of my life. I vaguely remember that my eyes were blurry at that time, I didn’t know where I was, I only vaguely felt that there were urinary catheters and drips inserted in my body, and the medical staff walked quickly past the bedside. Then I was horrified to find that the left side of my body couldn’t move. I tried to move my hands and feet with all my strength, but nothing happened. Fear, wandering, and helplessness immediately took over my heart.
What happened to the accident? I had breakfast with a few colleagues before, and we were not talking and laughing as usual. Why am I now half paralyzed, lying in an ICU bed? A series of sinister and frightened thoughts welled up in my mind, and my heart seemed to be dragged down by a heavy hammer and fell into the abyss. Am I going to be bedridden for the rest of my life, will I become a vegetative person? What about my family, my work, and my ministry? Where are my relatives? Suddenly, I heard a very soft but unfamiliar voice: “Mr. Chen, do you still recognize me? I am Echo, a waiter at the Westin Hotel, and I have come to visit you in the hope that you will recover soon; I don’t understand, how can you be so good, how can you suffer such a hardship?” Although I couldn’t make out her face, her tone was deeply sympathetic. In retrospect, it seems that God was going to use this unbeliever to test my reactions and choices in the face of suffering. Thank you, Lord, that during the whole process, even though my heart was dark, I didn’t ask, “Why did you allow this to happen to me all of a sudden?” Who am I to dare to challenge God’s sovereignty by questioning God’s sovereignty?
As Job 11:7-8 says, “Can you fathom God, and how can you fathom the Almighty? What else can you do if His wisdom is higher than heaven? What else can you know deeper than Hades?” I am convinced that the God I know and accept is not the author of suffering and that there is no error in Him, and even though we may not fully understand everything behind it while suffering, we can trust that God has absolute wisdom to control everything, and in His will, can lead us through the valley of the shadow of death.
To be healed, you must first deal with sin
I only received the first six days of treatment at the Third Affiliated Hospital of Sun Yat-sen University, and then I was transferred to Hong Kong by the U.S. Consulate for further treatment. After two weeks, my condition did not improve, and I began to feel depressed and disappointed. I was so impatient that the left side of my body was still paralyzed, and I thought that I would have to be supported by at least three people when I sat up, otherwise, my body would fall to the left and right, and I would have to trouble others to urinate and urinate, and I felt very embarrassed and helpless for this. For me, a former workaholic, this is a painful and difficult truth to accept. During that time, I often asked God, “How long am I going to endure this state of dependence on others for everything?” and many nights I tossed and turned, thinking wildly, and could not sleep until dawn. When I did physiotherapy during the day, I felt weak and weak due to lack of sleep, and my mood became more and more depressed. This vicious cycle continued until, one morning in the third week after my transfer, I was praying devotionally when a passage of scripture unfolded before my eyes.
That’s Luke 5:18-25, which tells the story of Jesus healing a paralytic man:
“And a paralytic man was carried on a mattress to carry him in before him, but because of the great number of people he could not find a way to carry him in, he went up to the roof of the house and took him into the middle of the roof with his mat from among the tiles, and was in the presence of him. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Thy sins have been forgiven of him, and immediately he arose in the presence of them all and took up the mat on which he was lying, and went to his house, to the glory of God.” ”
The Holy Spirit enlightened me through this passage and gave me a deeper understanding of this passage so that I realized that God’s healing is a comprehensive treatment of body, mind, and spirit and that I need to be healed not only physically, but also spiritually. I read and pondered over and over again, and I noticed the order in which the Lord Jesus performed this miracle healing: the paralytic man got up and walked because his sins were forgiven and his heart was cleansed, and then Jesus told him, “Get up, take up your mat and go home.” It turns out that the Lord Jesus wants me to deal with my sins, because only He can forgive my sins, so His primary concern is whether my sins have been dealt with clearly. When the problem of sin is solved, the other problems are solved. Sin cuts us off from a close relationship with God, it often destroys our relationships both externally and internally, and it prevents people from enjoying the peace and joy that God provides.
Thank you to the Lord that He made me understand that “spiritual paralysis” is more terrible and more difficult to cure than all kinds of physical diseases, because it numbs the soul, loses its sensitivity to sin, and eventually loses any ability to resist. Many times, Christians emphasize repentance only to unbelievers, but they avoid mentioning their transgressions, or hide in the depths of their hearts, as if they have developed immunity to sin. This phenomenon can happen to any believer, no matter how long he has been a believer, and how senior he is in the ministry.
During my six-week hospitalization, God gave me a tranquil environment in which I was completely naked and open in His presence, allowing His Word to cut the cancer of sin from my heart like a sharp blade, and allowing His Holy Spirit to do the healing work. Repentance is not easy, but it is the only way for Christians to pursue holiness. Confession of sin is very difficult for me, and there are two obstacles:
(1) self-righteousness, and it is difficult to be humble. This personality has gradually developed since I came to the United States. Even though I have been a Christian for more than 30 years, this old self still haunts me. Especially when my career is smooth and my ministry is somewhat fruitful, I lose my ability to reflect on these two aspects even more.
(2) I find that when I am faced with a variety of big and small choices, I often make trade-offs based on my own wisdom and personal experience, rather than taking God first, asking Him first to see if it is His will, and in turn even walking ahead of Him.
Under the light of the Holy Spirit, I opened the eyes of my heart finally realized my spiritual and behavioral weaknesses, and unreservedly confessed my debt to God and man. In today’s generation, some too many people wear masks to be good people, who are polite and follow the rules on the surface, but in their hearts, they hide unfathomable thoughts and even have all kinds of selfish desires and evil feelings (including myself). Even with friends and loved ones, we often don’t always treat them with sincerity, let alone to the point of putting them in the heart. It can be said that superficial good deeds do not reflect the true state of mind of a person, nor does good behavior bring a person up to the standards set by God. As the Bible says, “For the Lord does not look at men as men: men look at the outward appearance, and the Lord looks at the inwardness.” (1 Samuel 16:7) Only God knows all the thoughts and thoughts of the human heart: “Who can understand the heart of man who is deceitful above all things, and who is wicked to the extreme?” (Jeremiah 17:9).
Many people think that confession of sin is an act of cowardice, but this is a very wrong idea. On the contrary, I deeply realized that confession of sin is a rather courageous expression, and it is the initiative of man to face his true nature: even the dark, filthy, invisible, and ugliest side is revealed in the light of God’s true light, and there is no need to hide it, and it can no longer be concealed. Just as doctors use X-rays, CT scans, or MRIs to examine the root cause of physical ailments, God’s Word and the guidance of the Holy Spirit can help us detect all kinds of spiritual problems, both revealed and hidden.
Mt 1:6 says, “Where do sons honor their fathers and servants fear their masters, but where do I honor me as my father, and where do I fear me as my master?” It turns out that as a child of God and a servant who serves Him, I have neglected my attitude of fear of the Lord. My arrogant and unruly temperament, coupled with decades of worldly social experience, has molded me into a very assertive personality, and I have also established a set of ways of doing things that are not pleasing to God, that is: relying on experience and feeling, rather than praying to God first and seeking His will; emphasizing efficiency and valuing planning more than serving; an arbitrary attitude and not asking for the opinions of others; and doing some so-called big things, which are actually good and great achievements, and have no direct connection to the kingdom of God.
Frankly, when I have achieved a little bit in a worldly environment and think I can be the master of my own house, it is often a time of crisis in my spiritual life. In 2009, the apparent success of my career and ministry lured me into the abyss of self-aggrandizement. In May 2009, I was nominated by USCIS and received the “Most Outstanding Employee” award from all of the federal agencies in Chicago, out of more than 80,000 employees, 300 were selected, but only 10 were honored. In early June, my application for a short-term transfer to the U.S. Consulate in Guangzhou was approved, and these two events were very beneficial for my future career. In ministry, I have been the director general of the Glory God Communication Association in Chicago, where I preach the gospel through audio-visual media, as well as evangelism in restaurants and a column in the New York Clarion Monthly. Two years ago, I also called for the establishment of the “Tianle Choir”, which has more than 30 members, more than half of whom are Christians in the United States, and on the eve of the 2008 Olympic Games, we held sacred music concerts in Beijing, Qingdao, and Shanghai. However, when organizing these creative activities, I didn’t hand over the steering wheel to God, but held on to it myself. Because “obedience” is not in my nature, it naturally leads to an unhealthy ministry mentality, which is not pleasing to God.
Paul said, “Therefore I beseech you, brethren, in the mercy of God, that you offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, and that it is only right for you to serve in this way.” Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is the good, perfect, and pleasing will of God. (Romans 12:1-2) Why is it so difficult for us to follow this catchy verse? I now understand that the fundamental question is whether or not I am willing to surrender the sovereignty of my life to God. To please God is to give up your evil desires and desires, to call on the name of the Lord in everything, and to follow the Holy Spirit’s leading, simply for the sake of His glorified works. Even if it is a trivial service in the eyes of man. God wanted me to learn to Xi to be a “useless servant” after His heart. As the Lord Jesus said to his disciples, “So when you have done all that you have been commanded, just say, ‘We are worthless servants, and what we have done is what we ought to do.'” (Luke 17:10) Therefore, my ministry before Him, if it were not by the grace of God and the leading of the Holy Spirit, would be false, unreliable, unpleasing to God, and of no eternal value, even if it seemed to others. Faith in God is a mutual relationship and action, not an expression of self-emotion or self-will. What is the relationship? It is the relationship between man and God, and what action is the complete obedience and obedience of man to God?
It dawned on me that the blind spots of so many ministries over the past few years had been preventing me from getting a deeper understanding of what God’s good, pure, and pleasing will was. It turns out that I have always served God with confidence and passion, but I have stripped away the most important element of “wholehearted obedience” from the ministry, and as a result, many so-called ministry activities have become empty and meaningless. For God said to Saul through the prophet Samuel, “Is the Lord pleased with burnt offerings and peace offerings as he is pleased with the obedience of his voice? The sin of disobedience is equal to the sin of sorcery, and the sin of stubbornness is the same as the sin of worshipping false gods and idols. (1 Samuel 15:22-23). Jesus Christ Himself is our best example, so Paul says, “He was very much God, and did not consider equality with God to be a precedent, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a slave and becoming a man, and having been made in human form, he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even on the cross.” (Philippians 2:7-8) God’s concern is not how much time or mind I spend trying to figure out what I think is good and valuable to His kingdom. What He asks of me is a heart that respectfully seeks His will. To paraphrase the preacher Brother Yin Daoxian: “We must first truly realize in our hearts that we are useless, completely useless before we can be useful in the hands of God.” This is the spiritual dialectic, the spiritual mystery, and the spiritual grace, and even the fact that we can truly realize our uselessness is the grace of God. ”
Thank God for allowing me to calm down and reflect on this kind of reflection amid my illness, which is truly a great blessing.
Experience the warmth of God’s faithfulness and love of family and friends
Through this stroke, God made me re-examine my relationship with my family, and I felt strongly the faithful love from God and experienced first-hand how warm, sincere, and unrequited my family’s love for me was.
God’s mercy and love are indeed above all else, but my wife Qiuhong’s unwavering and meticulous care for me during my illness is as deep as the sea. I later learned that after receiving the news that I had had a stroke, my wife, who was in the United States, took the earliest flight to Guangzhou. During the long 14-hour flight, Pastor Li Chaoqiang encouraged her “May the peace of the Lord Jesus be with you” before leaving, which became the greatest comfort and strength in her heart. When she was rushed to Guangzhou Hospital, she did not despair in the face of my delirium. She stood by my bedside day and night, holding my hand praying for me, and reciting Psalm 23 for me over and over again until I recognized her and we hugged and wept. It was then that I heard a phrase that I will remember for the rest of my life: “Mike, rest assured, no matter what the outcome, I will take care of you to the end, this is my promise before God.” ”
In fact, from the time I suffered a stroke to the ongoing recovery process today, my wife has not left me for a moment. Not only that, but God has given her the strength and wisdom to handle all kinds of important decisions and make arrangements for me. During my hospitalization in Hong Kong, she always curled up on the chair in the ward for one night and dragged her tired body to accompany me for acupuncture therapy the next day. At the end of the vacation, to stay and take care of me, she begged her boss to allow her to work in Hong Kong. During this time, my wife also went back to the United States to visit her son, who was alone at home and traveled around to inquire about the best rehabilitation centers in Chicago to pave the way for my future recovery.
My wife’s love for me is so deep and unreserved, and while I am grateful, I feel that I owe too much to my wife. Married for 27 years, in the relationship between husband and wife, I am more and more busy with work and ministry, getting along with each other gradually like gentlemen’s friends, emotionally losing the sweetness of each other at the beginning, not to mention spiritual fellowship, we try not to quarrel, tolerate each other, live in peace, I already feel very good. But as the head of the family, I have always ignored the Bible’s teaching to love my wife. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for the church…… Let each one of you love his wife as himself. A wife should honor her husband. (Ephesians 5:25).
I still remember my wife used to say to me: “You like to compose and sing so much, lead poems, and play poems, why don’t you express this enthusiasm to me at home, everything is so rational?” Women’s emotional world is very delicate, and the husband’s sincere concern for his wife and body language with love is often more effective than lengthy truths. According to Biblical principles, without loving and doing our part, we as brothers do not want to earn the respect of our wives, no matter how godly we look, how extensive our ministry is, and how successful our business is, it is a false sign to her, just as Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for hypocrisy. During my illness, I not only confessed my sins before God, but also expressed my guilt to my wife Qiuhong, and slowly learned that Xi Moody Bible College often broadcasts Pastor Gary Chapman’s radio program “The Five Languages of Love”, which is applied to all aspects of daily life, and my wife told me that in fact, the standard of “love language” she asks me to express to her is not high, as long as I sincerely give her a gentle hug (body language), appreciate what she does (with a grateful heart), and enter with a joyful smile ( Always with joy in your heart), sharing prayer (deep spiritual fellowship) is enough.
The ignorance of the past has led me away from the teachings of the Bible, and it is only now that I have realized that our spouses and children are unique and precious gifts from God that need to be cherished and connected with love.
God who hears prayer
Every time I think of the care and love of my brothers and sisters, the more I feel unworthy, and because of this, I experience that God has heard the earnest prayers of many people.
Of course, God did not make me stand up immediately in a supernatural way, but He prepared the best hospital doctor for me, the care of my family, and the power of God to support me, like sending a group of angels to protect me. God has indeed heard and answered the prayers of the churches and brothers and sisters, and God will heal in His good pleasure. Looking back, it turns out that every difficult situation has come to us, and whenever my wife and I feel that things cannot be solved, God has already known and made good arrangements for us, even more than we could have imagined. Here are a few specific examples that demonstrate God’s greatness, faithfulness, love, omniscience, and omnipresence:
→ Taken to the hospital within 3 hours of stroke. God allowed a stroke to happen to me (in fact, I neglected to control my high blood sugar and too much work pressure), but God also arranged for someone to send me to the hospital immediately for emergency treatment, to avoid the danger of many sequelae of “three deviations and five obstacles”.
→ The accident was not in the hotel room. I fainted in the restaurant while having breakfast with my colleagues. If you go back to the room and have a stroke, it’s unimaginable.
→ The incident occurred in Guangzhou, not in Beijing. I originally wanted to apply for a business trip to the Beijing Immigration Bureau, but because I could speak Cantonese, I was later transferred to Guangzhou. Otherwise, the hospital would not have been able to transfer me to Hong Kong by plane shortly after my severe stroke. His wife Qiuhong and her two older sisters are not proficient in Mandarin, which also causes difficulties in communicating with doctors and taking care of them in all aspects.
→ The Affiliated Hospital of Sun Yat-sen University has MRI (magnetic resonance imaging equipment). The Third Affiliated Hospital of Sun Yat-sen University is only a 10-minute drive from the Westin Tianhe District in Guangzhou, where I live.
→ the Consulate’s arrangement for transfer to Hong Kong for treatment. God prepared for me several medical staff from the U.S. Consulates in Guangzhou and Hong Kong to negotiate with the Affiliated Hospital of Sun Yat-sen University to transfer to Hong Kong within a week.
→ God prepared for me the best hospital, doctors, physiotherapy, and acupuncture in Hong Kong.
→ care for your family. God’s wife, Qiu Hong, two older sisters in Hong Kong, and my younger brother in Guangzhou, took turns to take care of me so that I could recuperate with peace of mind and speed up the recovery time.
→ Continue rehabilitation. After returning to Chicago, God prepared an ideal rehabilitation center for me at the Chicago Rehabilitation Institute, less than half an hour away from home, and the center staff picked me up.
→ My wife is allowed by the company to work from home full-time so that I can take care of my diet and daily life.
What can I say before God other than to be grateful? I remember one time when I was in a bad mood, my sister comforted me softly by the bedside and said, “Mike, cheer up, don’t you feel God’s work in you strongly? He rescued you from the brink of death, healed you, and took care of you so thoughtfully in all things, He must have sent a team of angels to defend you, you should be full of joy, why are you depressed?” then I thought of Psalm 919-11 says: Therefore, I am convinced of the reality of experiencing the protection of God’s messengers.
Demolition and reconstruction
I learned to draw Xi closer to the Lord because of this severe stroke and once again surrendered myself to His hands by faith. It can even be said that the greatest blessing that illness has brought me is not only the healing of physical ailments, but also the spiritual restoration and restoration. I deeply realized that one of the purposes of suffering was that God loved me and brought me to the throne of His grace through suffering. “Whatever I love, I will rebuke and discipline him, so be zealous and repent. (Revelation 3:19) “For what the Lord loves, he will rebuke, just as a father rebukes his beloved son.” —Proverbs 3:12.
Inside: Tear down the castle of the inner world of the old me
The prophets used the rather horrific words “torn, bruised, destroyed, overturned, afflicted” to show that God sometimes uses drastic means to tear down our inner world. The same is true for me, in the case of music ministry, after the stroke, my left hand is stiff and I still can’t play an instrument, my speech is no longer “articulate”, and my singing is no longer beautiful. These changes are quite a test for me, a musician who writes songs and has been involved in music ministry for more than 20 years, who has been using poetry to hold music evangelism, and published five poetry CDs. I also struggled with this, hoping to find an answer from God that would satisfy me. I asked God, “Is it necessary to tear me down so completely before I need to be transformed?” Of course, God is still silent to this day, but I have found the answer from daily reflection: God wants me to reevaluate and reverse my attitude towards worship and music ministry. I should concentrate on Jesus and His cross and make Him the only object of worship in my heart, rather than using music to show my talents. To be honest, I no longer feel bad about being out of breath, out of tune, and unable to pronounce words when I sing every Sunday because I now understand who I’m singing for and why.
External: Tear down the pursuit of the world
Admittedly, the world was still quite attractive to me before the stroke. On the one hand, I am still young from retirement age, and on the other hand, I have the opportunity to advance, and I have to work in the immigration office decently and help many people. I feel that I have a successful career and can serve, as long as there is no conflict between the two, it can be regarded as God’s special grace and blessing. But invisibly, this kind of thinking and lifestyle of “one leg wants to step on two boats” falls into Satan’s tricks, forgetting that there is no middle way for believers to take at the level of ministry. The word of the Lord is clear: “One cannot serve two masters, either hating one and loving another, or valuing one and despising another, and you cannot serve God and mammon at the same time.” (Matthew 6:24).
Because I was so focused on my work and ministry that I couldn’t do it at the same time, I ended up damaging my body, neglecting my family, and not being able to concentrate on serving God. This win-win mentality of wanting to be a CEO in the world and doing a great job in ministry is certainly not God’s will, because Jesus said, “Lord, our God is the only Lord, and you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.” (Mark 12:29-30) The tone here is imperative, with no free choice or other vague interpretation.
Reconstruction: Loving people’s lives with God’s love and centeredness
During my stay in Hong Kong, apart from experiencing God’s miraculous healing, what excites me the most is that I am willing to share God’s love with others, like a flame burning in my heart. I was in the same room with Japanese, British, and Australians, and I prayed about their illnesses and told me what God was doing to me. The Japanese patient said that he was Shin (Shinto), but he did not refuse me to pray for Him in the name of Jesus Christ. God’s grace came to two special ladies through me, a peasant woman who had come from Canton to take care of me temporarily. Although she could not read, she had a longing heart and accepted the Lord immediately. Since then we have prayed together, and I taught her to recite the Lord’s Prayer in the Bible and to repair her bad relationship with her mother-in-law and husband. She prayed to the Lord for my healing as well. Seeing God heal me in six weeks, her heart was filled with joy and she was willing to preach the gospel to her family and find a spiritual home when she returned to Guangzhou. Another woman’s husband was trying to give up after seven unsuccessful surgeries to remove her large intestine, but one of the Christian nurses working in the intensive care unit brought her to my ward and asked me to pray for her husband. I said I was willing, but I also told her that there was no point in praying unless she knew who we were praying to.
Thank the Lord that after listening to the gospel message I shared with her, she was willing to accept the Lord Jesus as her personal Savior, and then we prayed to the Lord with tears in our eyes. Although we never had the opportunity to see each other again and wondered if her husband would be healed, may God preserve her faith and continue to follow up with the Christian nurse. What prompted me to rekindle this passion for evangelism was the natural response of my heart being rebuilt by the Lord and experiencing God’s deep love and whole-person healing. Just as a Samaritan woman who met the Lord Jesus and understood the truth, and after experiencing God’s compassion and acceptance, her heart welled up with indescribable joy, and she immediately left a jug of water and went to the city to tell the people the good news that she had met the Messiah.
Today, a Christian who is untouched by evangelism or who is unspeakable about his faith is likely to have not tasted the gift of God. Perhaps such believers still retain castles built with their old selfish desires in their hearts, so that they form too heavy loads and too many walls to obstruct them, but they let themselves be trapped by the siege and unable to break through.
In addition to this, after this disaster, I have found that there is no difference between pitying others and being compassionate. Sympathy for what others are going through is an attempt to share and alleviate the pain and anxiety of others, but it is not a level of empathy. Now, when I am faced with another patient, in addition to sympathizing with his illness, I can also feel what he feels in his heart, understand his situation, and share his suffering more powerfully. Because of this receiving, whenever I meet patients in the Chicago Rehabilitation Center who are doing rehabilitation together, the universal love and compassion of the Lord Jesus deeply motivates me, and I am willing to secretly pray for these patients and also find an opportunity to tell them about God’s wonderful work in me.
Cherish every day of life
Before I had a stroke, I always felt like I had time in my own hands. What can’t be done can be continued tomorrow, otherwise, there is still next month, and there is always enough time to complete it. When I wake up every morning after the stroke and feel my pulse beating and breathing freely, I truly thank God for giving me a new day, where the days are no longer ordinary and at my disposal, but every minute is as precious as a grain of jade. As James 4:14-15 says, “You do not yet know what tomorrow will bring.” What is your life? You are a cloud, which disappears after a short time. But say, ‘If the Lord wills, we can live, and we can do this or that.’ ”
Recognizing the fragility and transience of life has led me to place greater emphasis on the pursuit of a relationship with the living God and the meaning of living in the world. God gives the world the freedom to choose the direction and purpose of his life, but He has special guidance and discipline for His children. God wants every child to build up a holy character and choose a Christian life. The ideal standard of Christian personality is to be like Jesus Christ. So Jesus said to his disciples, “Be perfect, therefore, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.” (Matthew 5:48) We are to practice this perfection with greater love, a more humble spirit, a more perfect character, a more complete intellectual capacity, and more witnesses to the Lord.
The stroke was a grave warning from God, telling me that I was already standing on the edge of the abyss of death and that my life would have been gone long ago if it had not been for His hand holding me tightly and then lifting me up smoothly and putting me back into the world. I kept wondering since God had given me a chance to live again, how could I go back and be as careless as I was before the stroke, staying up all night, eating at irregular intervals, wasting my body without restraint, and wasting my time?” Therefore, glorify God in your bodies. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) Reading this passage in the past has been very confusing, but now we understand that because our bodies are created by God, to treat our bodies correctly is to glorify Him. It is only when we fully affirm that the body, mind, and spirit are inseparable and interdependent that we can cherish and maintain the body and allow it to play out the good purpose of God’s creation. No wonder John would say, “Beloved, may you prosper in all things and be strong in body, just as your soul prosper.” (John 3:1:2).
Conclusion
“Offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving to God and pay your vows to the Most High, and call on me in the day of trouble, and I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me. Whoever offers a sacrifice of thanksgiving is glory. Me.” (Psalm 50:14-15)
Suffering is uncomfortable, but it also deepens my understanding of God’s attributes: the exercise of His power—rescuing me from death according to His will, His faithfulness and love—miraculous healing, His omniscience, Omnipotent – the power to make every proper arrangement and care. In my case, He replaced punishment with healing, curses with blessings, and chastity with refinement. I don’t know how long God will let me live on this earth, but as long as I still have the breath of life, I am willing to witness the wonderful work He has done in me and become an outlet for preaching the gospel and announcing the good news. I deeply understand that “although the outer body is destroyed, the inner body is destroyed.” But it is being renewed day by day” (2 Corinthians 4:16).
May all glory be to the Triune God. Amen.
Chen Chi is from Shunde, Guangdong, and grew up in Hong Kong. Graduated from the Chinese Department of National Taiwan University and received a master’s degree from the Department of Social Work of Illinois. Currently, he is the director of the Citizenship and Naturalization Department of the Chicago Immigration Bureau of the U.S. Department of Justice and is also the director general of the Chicago God of Honor Communication Association.
