圣经辅导基础:第六…
6.ENGAGING PEOPLE与人接触
Points of connection 连接点
A personal story…个人故事.
A living metaphor.活隐喻.
A helpful model.有益的模型
Love 爱心
Welcome people with God’s love以 神的爱去接纳别人
Listen, listen, listen, listen学会倾听、倾听、倾听、倾听.
Be affected by their story, their suffering, their struggle. 受感于他们的经历、遭遇、争战.
Know 了解
Gather data moving toward the heart.了解其人、进入其心.
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Speak 讲述
Discuss and declare God’s agenda for their particular issues, struggles, sins.
讨论并诉说 神对他们存在的问题、争战与罪孽的计划.
Do 行动 Develop a wise practical strategy for growth, change and implementing God’s agenda.
为他们成长、改变及 神对他们计划的执行制定一个明智、可行的方案.
Think about this 想一想
Use these questions to help illuminate the heart as the root of behavior.
以下问题照亮你的行为之根——你的内心:
Situation: What was going on? 情境:到底是怎么回事?
Interpretation: What were you thinking?
诠释:你刚才是怎么想的?
Behavior: What did you do in response? 表现:你又作如何反应的?
Motivation: Why did you do it? What did you want? 动机:你为何做这事?你想得 到什么?
Consequence: What was the result? 影响:有何结果?
Evaluation: What does the Bible say this? 评价:圣经对此会作何说明、评价?
Transformation: 改变:
What must I change in my heart? How? 我们内心必须作何改变?如何改变?
What must I change in my behavior? How? 我们行为必须作何改变?如何 改变?
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ASKING GOOD QUESTIONS 提出好问题
Points of connection 连接点
A personal story. 个人故事.
Drawing out the purposes of the heart. 汲引内心的谋略
Proverbs 20:5 – The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.
箴 20:5——人心怀藏谋略,好像深水。惟明哲人,才能汲引出来。
Heart Exposing Questions 揭露内心的问题:
Heart-revealing Questions: (Look for themes and patterns): The Scriptures give us many windows into the heart and what functionally rules it. Here are a few examples. These questions are meant to help you examine your personal heart themes of thought, motive and desire so that you will begin to acknowledge the true treasures of your hearts and how those treasures have shaped the way you have responded to God, others and the situations of life.
揭示内心的问题:(寻找主题与模式):圣经中给我们很多了解我们内心的窗口,并从 功能上去掌管我们的内心。这里有些例子可以帮助你省察自己的内心——所思、所要、 所想的,这样你就可以明确自己心中真正所爱,以及它们是如何造就你回应上帝、他人 和自己的。
When do you tend to experience fear, worry or anxiety (Matthew 6:19-34)?
你何时易于恐惧、忧虑、焦虑(太 6:19-34)?
Where have you struggled with disappointment (Proverbs 13:12,19)?
你在何处与绝望争战(箴 13:12,19)?
What are the situations in which you struggle with anger (James 4:1,2; Proverbs 11:23)?
你在何种情形下恼怒(雅 4:1,2;箴 11:23)?
Where do you encounter problems in relationships (James 4:1-10)?
人际关系之中,你在何处遇到难题(雅 4:1-10)?
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What are the situations of life that you have found particularly difficult (1 Corinthians 10:13-14)?
何为你所遇到的极为艰难的境地(林前 10:13-14)?
Where are your patterns of avoidance? What things do you regularly seek to avoid?
何为你逃避的方式?你经常逃避的是何事呢?
Where have you experienced regular problems in your spiritual life or in your relationship with God (Psalm 73)?
在你属灵生活及与 神的关系上,你在哪方面经历这些经常性的问题(诗 73)?
Where or when have you tended to doubt the truths of Scripture (Romans 1:25)?
你在何时、何处易于怀疑圣经的真理(罗 1:25)?
What is your true agenda for others? What is your definition of a good relationship? What are your expectations for others? What silent demands do you make of the people around you (James 4:1-2)?
你对别人真正的计划是什么?你如何定义美好关系?你对别人有什么期望?你对周 围人有何不必言传的要求(雅 4:1-2)?
Where in your life have you struggled with bitterness (Ephesians 4:31; Proverbs 18:19)?
你在生活中的哪些方面与苦毒争战过(弗 4:31;箴 18:19)?
Where in your life have you struggled with regret, with being tempted to say, “If only…”?
你在生活中的哪些方面与遗憾、被引诱而说出“要是…”而争战过?
In what experiences in the past do you struggle with letting go? 你过去在哪方面的经历与放下争战?
When do you tend to experience problems in your prayer and personal worship (James 4:3-4)? 在你祈祷与个人敬拜当中,你在何时易于历经困难(雅 4:3-4)?
Where have you tended to struggle with envying others? What have you tended to covet (Proverbs 14:30)?
你在哪些方面容易与嫉妒争战?你容易贪恋什么(箴 14:30)?
Questions for Sufferers 针对受害者的问题
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 林后 12:9-10 9 But he said to me, “My grace Biblicis sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
9 他对我说,我的恩典够你用的。因为我的能力,是在人的软弱上显得完全。 所以我更喜欢夸自己的软弱,好叫基督的能力覆庇我。10 我为基督的缘故, 就以软弱,凌辱,急难,逼迫,困苦,为可喜乐的。因我什么时候软弱,什 么时候就刚强了。
Are you listening to God in His Word? 你听从 神的话吗?/你在 神的话中顺服祂吗?
Do you believe God’s enabling grace is enough for your issue, trial, pain, etc.?
你相信 神的恩典对你的问题、磨练、痛苦等是够用的吗?
Do you believe that God’s power is more visible and viable when you are the weakest?
你相信 神的大能在你最软弱之时越显可见、可行吗?
What do you boast, glory, value, treasure – your “best” or your “weakness.”
你可夸、自豪、在乎的是什么呢?——你的“强项”还是“软弱”?
Will you be depend on God so that you will receive the power of God?
你会依靠 神,接受从 神那里来的能力吗?
Will you be content in the hardship regardless? 你会在无谓的困苦中知足吗?
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Are you willing to accept hardship is not only corrective, but also as preventative?
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你愿意以纠正和预防的方式接受困难吗?
“Could It Be” Questions “是否可能”的问题
How God uses trials/sufferings to make you more like Jesus. We need to think in terms of the “Could it be?” questions:
上帝是怎样用试炼/困苦把你塑造的更像耶稣?我们需要思考一下“是否可能”的问 题:
To Enrich your relationship with God 拉近与上帝的关系
Psalms 诗篇(不知多少篇)?
Could it be that God has used to drive me closer to Himself? 上帝是否会用使我更亲近祂自己?
How often do you pray and what affect does hardship have on your praying?
你多长时间做一次祷告?困苦对你的祷告有何影响?
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Suffering will drive you to the Lord. ex. To greater dependence on Him?
苦难会把你带到主的面前。例如,更加依靠祂?
To Experience the sufferings of Christ 经历基督的受苦
Phil. 3:10; Matthew 23:37; Luke 13:34-35 腓 3:10;太 23:37;路 13:34-35 Could it be that you are experiencing Christ’s sufferings?
你是否可能正在经历基督的受难呢?
To Expose your remaining sin 揭露肉体残留的败坏
Deuteronomy. 8:1-3 申 8:1-3 Could it be that in God is exposing your heart idols?
是否可能在上帝揭露你心中的偶像?
God allowed Israel to suffer in the wilderness. You could be building your life on idolatry (false beliefs and wants) and not even know it. So God is so good that He has moved to expose it to you.
上帝允许以色列在旷野中受苦。由于你把自己的生命建立在偶像(虚假信仰与私欲) 之上而毫无察觉,所以良善的上帝把偶像摆在你面前。
To Exemplify Christ’s work in you to others
把基督在你身上所做的显在人前
Matthew 5:13-16 太 5:13-16 Could it be that in __ God is giving you opportunity to model and show the marvelous character of Christ, even as it is being fashioned in you?
是否可能在__ 上帝给你一个效法的机会并把耶稣完美的品性展现出来,就如同 把这种性情塑造在你自己身上?
How we relate to people in the midst of suffering in the context (salt and light). People are watching your life and seeing whether your fruit will be good and bad and what the harvest will be like.
我们怎样在患难的情形下与人相处(盐与光)。别人会观察你的生活,看你结的果 子是好是坏,你的收成会是怎样?
To Equip you for wiser, more compassionate ministry
装备自己,使侍奉 更有智慧、有怜悯。
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 林后 1:3-4
Could it be that in God is developing compassion and instilling a Biblical mindset and obedience that will be useful in the lives of others?
是否可能在上帝为人们生活的益处而建立怜悯心态、灌入圣经的思维与顺服 模式?
God comforts us so that we are able to comfort others.
上帝安慰我们,这样我们就可以安慰别人。(译者注:神安慰我们,不是要我们享 受安慰,乃是要我们作安慰的使者。——乔怀德)
To Excite your desire for heaven
挑起你对天堂的渴望
1 Peter 1:3-9; James 1:12; Matt 24-25; 1 Thessalonians.
4 彼前 1:3-9;雅 1:12;帖前
4 Could it be that in God is loosening your hold on earth and increasing your longing for heaven?
是否有可能在上帝正在松开你在世上紧握的,增进你对天堂的向往?
X-Ray Questions X 射线问题
Biblically based questions that help the counselor expose the issues of the heart.
以圣经为基础的问题可以帮助辅导者揭露内心困惑。
What do you love? Hate? 你爱什么?恨什么?
What do you want, desire, crave, lust, and wish for? What desires do you serve and obey?
你需要什么?想要什么?渴望什么?奢望什么?盼望什么?什么欲望会让你为之而 服事、顺服?
What do you seek, aim for, pursue? What are your goals and expectations?
你寻求什么?力争什么?追求什么?什么是你的目标与期望?
Where do you bank your hopes? 你把希望放在何处?
What do you fear? What do you not want? What do you tend to worry about?
你恐惧什么?不想要什么?你会忧虑什么?
What do you feel like doing? 你想做什么?
What do you think you need? What are your “felt needs”? 你认为自己需要什么?你“感觉需要”什么?
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What are your plans, agendas, strategies, and intentions designed to accomplish?
你的旨在实现的计划、日程、策略与目的是什么?
What makes you tick? What sun does your planet revolve around? Where do you find your garden of delight? What lights up your world? What fountain of life, hope, and delight do you drink from? What food sustains your life? What really matters to you? What fairy castle do you construct in the clouds? What pipe dreams tantalize or terrify you? Around what do you organize your life? What magnetic north orients your world?
什么让你行动起来?你的行星以何种太阳为中心?你在何处寻得你的快乐花园?什 么会点亮你的世界?你从何种源泉中汲取生命、希望、快乐?何种食物维持你的生 活?你最在乎什么?你想在云中建造何种仙境城堡?什么白日之梦吊你胃口或使你 惊恐?你围绕什么来管理你的生活?何种磁北定位你的生活?(译者注:磁北是指 南针所指示的北,这主要是由于地球的磁场两极与地理上的南北两极不重合,因 此指南针指示的北为磁北而非真北,磁北会随着时间而变化。)
Where do you find refuge, safety, comfort, escape, pleasure, security?
你到哪里寻找避难所、健康、安慰、躲避、喜乐、安全?
What or who do you trust? 你信任何事、何人?
Whose performance matters? On whose shoulders does the well-being of your world rest? Who can make it better, make it work, make it safe, make it successful?
你在乎谁的表现?你的幸福会落在谁的肩上?谁能让你更幸福、让幸福运转、有安 全感、把幸福成全?
Who must you please? Whose opinion of you counts? From whom do you desire approval and fear rejection? Whose value system do you measure yourself against? In whose eyes are you living? Whose love and approval do you need?
你必须取悦谁?你看重谁的意见?你想从谁那里得到认可同时怕被其拒绝?你用谁 的价值体制体系来衡量你自己?你活在谁的世界里?你需要得到谁的爱与认可?
Who are your role models? What kind of person do you think you ought to be or want to be?’
谁是你的楷模(行为模型)?你认为自己应该或者想成为何种人?
On your deathbed, what would sum up your life as worthwhile? What gives your life meaning?
在你临终之日,你值得总结的是什么?什么赋予你生命的意义?
How do you define and weigh success or failure, right or wrong, desirable or undesirable, in any particular situation?
在任何具体情形之中你如何定义、衡量成功与失败、正确与错误、称心如意与事与 愿违?
What would make you feel rich, secure, prosperous? What must you get to make life sing?
什么会让你感到富有、安全、繁华?你必须得到什么才可以使生活充满歌声?
What would bring you the greatest pleasure, happiness and delight? The greatest pain and misery?
什么会带给你最大的快乐、幸福、欢喜?什么会带给你极大伤痛与痛苦?
Whose coming into political power would make everything better? 何种政权可以使一切变好?
Whose victory or success would make your life happy? How do you define victory and success?
谁的胜利、成功会让你生活幸福?你如何定义胜利与成功?
What do you see as your rights? What do you feel entitled to?
你如何看待你自己的权利?你认为自己有资格做什么?
In what situations do you feel pressured or tense? Confident and relaxed? When you are pressured, where do you turn? What do you think about? What are your escapes? What do you escape from?
你在何种境况中满有压抑感或备受紧张?(你在何种境况中)充满自信与毫无拘束? 压抑之时,你会转向何处?你会怎么想?你逃避什么?你怎样逃避?
What do you want to get out of life? What payoff do you seek out of the things you do? “What do you get out of doing that?
你想逃避生活中的什么?你想从你做的事中获得什么报酬?你想从中摆脱什么?
What do you pray for? 你祈求什么?
What do you think about most often? What preoccupies or obsesses you? In the morning, to what does your mind drift instinctively? What is your “mindset”?
你经常会思考什么?什么把你迷住了?清晨你的思维会本能的把你引向何处? 你有何“倾向”(或习惯、心态)?
What do you talk about? What is important to you? What attitudes do you communicate?
你谈论什么?对你来说什么是重要的?你沟通的态度是什么?
How do you spend your time? What are your priorities? 你如何利用时间?什么是你优先考虑的事情?
What are your characteristic fantasies, either pleasurable or fearful? Daydreams? What do your night dreams revolve around?
你自己独特的幻想是什么?愉快的还是恐惧的?白日梦?你的夜梦会围绕什么?
What are the functional beliefs that control how you interpret your life and determine how you act?
何种功能性信仰支配你如何诠释自己的人生、主导你的行为?
What are your idols or false gods? In what do you place your trust, or set your hopes? What do you turn to or seek? Where do you take refuge? Who is the savior, judge, controller, provider, protector in your world? Who do you serve? What “voice” controls you?
你的偶像或假神是什么?你把信任或希望寄托在什么身上?你要转向或寻求什么? 你往何处避难?谁是你生命的拯救者、审判者、掌控者、供应者、保守者?你给谁 打工?什么“声音”控制着你?
How do you live for yourself? 为了自己,你如何生活?
How do you live as a slave of the devil? 作为奴仆或魔鬼,你会怎么生活?
How do you implicitly say, “If only.” (to get what you want, avoid what you don’t want, keep what you have)?
你怎样含蓄说:“要是…”(去得到你想要的,回避不想要的,守住拥有的)
What instinctively seems and feels right to you? What are your opinions, things you feel are true?
对你而言,你会直觉得认为什么是正确的?对你感觉真实的事情,你是什么观点?
Where do you find your identity? How do you define who you are?
你在哪里可以找到自我价值的认同感?你如何定义我是谁?
Think about this 想一想
Do you recognize in the Bible how much God uses questions as a way to get people to see themselves or to move them toward a Biblical response?
你是否认识到 神在圣经中用多少问题来引导人们去认清自己、做出圣经式的回应?
Do you have a good set of questions that are open ended and both wide ranging and narrow focused? Do you hallway and room questions?
你有没有一套涉及范围广、关注角度窄的开放性问题?你有没有把问题缩小及放大化?
Do you ask yourself heart exposing questions? Do you self-counsel?
你有没有问过自己关于揭露自己内心的问题?你会自我辅导吗?
