Testimony 189.The love that cannot be given, the one who cannot be kept – the golden caviar


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The family affection in the movie is real and touching, but the solution of time travel can only provide temporary comfort. While we were moved to tears by the movie, we planned to invite our mother to dinner and take our parents for a physical examination; I also look forward to going to work quickly, because the more I get along with my parents, the more difficult it is. The loss, dislocation, and regret of love require real answers. When reason saw no possibility, God worked in my prayers.

In 2001, Jia Ling, who had just entered the university a month before, received the news that her mother Li Huanying had died unexpectedly. Since then, her mother’s departure has become a wound that Jia Ling is unwilling to touch. In the New Year film “Hello, Li Huanying”, Jia Xiaoling, played by Jia Ling, travels back to 1981; In order to make up for her regrets, she tries all kinds of ways to make her mother Li Huanying happy in her youth, resulting in a series of ridiculous things.

Jia Ling left a young and beautiful image of her mother in the movie, “Since I can remember, my mother is the appearance of a middle-aged woman, in fact, my mother used to be a girl in the flower season.” At the end of the film, Jia Xiaoling drives the open-top sports car promised to her mother, carrying her mother in a fashionable leather jacket with a smile on her face; But as soon as the camera turned, the mother sitting next to her disappears permanently, and Jia Xiaoling also turned joy into sadness, moving forward alone on the track of time.

“Parents are here, life still has a place, parents go, life is only a way back.” The person you want to share and want to give is no longer there, which is Jia Ling’s regret and the pain in the hearts of many people. On the other side of life, we always seem to be unable to give what we really want when our parents are still alive, just as Jia Xiaoling in the film is difficult to make middle-aged Li Huanying happy. Our love in the world always has all kinds of shortcomings. Maybe it can be temporarily relieved in a dream-making movie, but when the lights turn on and the movie ends, everything seems to return to square one.

With parents, the more you get along, the more difficult it is

In the interview, Jia Ling said: “My mother is gone, and the happiness in this life is missing. “I used to think that crying until she was distressed was just a description, but when writing the script, she remembered her mother’s past and really cried until she was distressed. Jia Ling said that all she could give the audience was sincerity, and this time, the audience also received her sincerity. After watching the film, many people either hug their parents around them or call their parents; The audience expressed that they should cherish the time with their parents more.

As a post-80s generation born in the same era as Jia Ling, the women around me either got married and had children early, or they started their careers and rode the wind and waves like Jia Ling in the workplace. I am still unmarried, but I often fall into the distress of the mother-daughter relationship because my mother forced marriage. A girlfriend said that she did not have any conflict with her mother, but in fact, because she was careful to avoid it, and her heart was already too desperate to touch the wound. In the film, Jia Xiaoling, who traveled back, and her mother became girlfriends who ate and slept together, sticking cucumber slices on their faces, shopping, and drinking wine. Such a relationship is envious of others.

In the real world, we either have been going back and forth when communicating with our parents because of the harm to our original family, or we jump up because the other party wants to manipulate our lives in the name of love, or we fall into various problems caused by the dislocation of family order and the gap between three views. The dream of traveling back and being best friends with a young mother is wonderful, but the reality is always skinny.

I don’t know if Jia Ling’s mother hadn’t died, would she have been forced marriage every Spring Festival like my mother; I also don’t know if in the trough of Jia Ling’s life, before she became famous, her mother Li Huanying could endure her daughter’s heartache in Beipiao, instead of pushing Jia Ling back to her hometown to find a stable job, get married and have children. After Li Huanying’s death, Jia Ling’s sister Jia Dan replaced her mother, and she often took out a small amount of salary to help her sister, but she also said this to Jia Ling: “Look at you fat, can you be red just like you?” He even hated that he kicked his sister without steel.

Li Huanying on the screen said to Jia Xiaoling: “I hope my daughter is healthy and happy.” “Off-screen, when I was healthy and happy, my mother was still worried about me being older and unmarried and not making any money. In the film, Jia Xiaoling is always glued to “If my mother didn’t give birth to me, I must be happier than now”, She longs for her mother to sit in an open-top sports car, wear a mink coat, eat abalone bird’s nest, and give her mother a long face. Jia Xiaoling wants to give her mother what she thinks is best. Li Huanying said: “I think I have lived a very happy life in this life, why don’t you believe me?” ”

At the end of the film, Li Huanying, who traveled back, took flowers in his hand, jumped on the back seat of his lover’s bicycle, and walked away joyfully and contentedly. Many times what we want to give is not necessarily what people really want. Whether inside or outside the movie, whether it is 1981, 2001, or 2021, it seems that we are always easy to misunderstand the love that our loved ones need, and it is difficult to give each other what they really need, and even more difficult to live the ideal us in each other’s eyes. We desperately want to give, we desperately want to grab loved ones, but it is always self-defeating.

Or something sadder than sadness, such as Jia Xiaoling’s final shock, Li Huanying in her youth is actually Li Huanying who crossed back in middle age, she cried and ran to find her mother, but separation is doomed. She can’t change her mother’s fate, even if she is willing to pay the price of her own life disappearing; Li Huanying also decisively chooses to see Jia Xiaoling in the future, Although this fate is miserable, because of love, she is willing.

I used to feel panic, afraid that the regret of “not waiting for the child to be raised” would fall on me. I would love to work hard to bring a good life to my parents and try to spend more time with them, but the more we get along, the harder it gets, and we will never be able to understand and accept each other. My heart was like a boat adrift, and I could only embrace my loneliness, which in turn exacerbated the pain of living.

Who can fill in the gaps?

We can’t change others, and it seems harder to change ourselves. We have love, but we don’t know how to love properly; We have love, but it is easy to exhaust. The absence, dislocation, or defect of love is the norm in this world. We are not capable of giving complete love, let alone keeping love. The law of this world is to keep losing and letting us lose. Our love is always stolen too much and destroyed too much by the world; We are selfish, narrow-minded, and self-righteous, and we always twist love. Who can fill in such a gap? Who can help me overcome the laws of this world?

It wasn’t until I came to Christ that the peace Jesus brought into my heart, and His Word allowed me to discover the truth of the world. Later, my mother also came to Christ, and our mother and daughter had a new relationship—becoming sisters in the Lord. My mother is not only my mother, but also the daughter of God who has an equal status just like me! When this mother and sister of mine were still greedy for the world’s money, I stopped arguing with her, but prayed for her life. When friction arises in our relationship, I know that it is a stepping stone for our mutual growth and that trusting in God brings us closer together.

In the film, the middle-aged Li Huanying has traveled back to 1981 before Jia Xiaoling crosses over, and when Jia Xiaoling asks her, “Are you happy that I came?” She replied, “I’m happy! Jia Xiaoling said, “I can make you happier.” Li Huanying watched her daughter help her buy a TV, drive away the gangsters, and fight for her the opportunity to change her fate, and she also fully cooperated to make her daughter happy. When watching Jia Xiaoling’s performance offstage, she laughed and cried. Li Huanying’s love is silent. When Jia Xiaoling recalled her mother, she remembered the first time she went to school far away, after her mother put her in the car, she pretended to take the car home, but got out of the car after her daughter left, in order to save money, walking alone on a white snowy day.

Some viewers left a message saying that when they watched the movie, they felt that their daughter loved their mother, and after watching it, they understood that it was the mother who loved her daughter more. But the love of God the Father is to send Jesus, His only begotten Son, to lay down everything he had and go alone to a world full of pain, regret, and ugliness because of sin, to sacrifice his innocent life and be crucified as a ransom for the sinful, so that all who believe in Him can return to the embrace of the Father’s love.

He promised, “The resurrection is in me, and the life is in me; Whoever believes in me, though dead, will rise again. Whoever lives and believes in Me will never die. “I no longer fear death and the separation of my parents, and I know that my mother and I are both travelers in the world and will one day be reunited with him. God is like an old father, leaning against the door, looking up, waiting for His children to come home.