灵糧
见证篇191.理所…
经文 路17:7-10
引言
荷兰清教徒神学家布雷克写过一本书，名叫《理所当然的侍奉》（The Christian’s Reasonable Service），全名是《基督徒理所当然的侍奉》。这名字立刻让我们想到《罗马书》12:1：“所以弟兄们，我以神的慈悲劝你们，将身体献上，当作活祭，是圣洁的，是神所喜悦的，你们如此侍奉，乃是理所当然的。”布雷克正是以这节经文为基础拟定这本书的书名。他在自序中指出，在始祖堕落之前，神呼召人从事使人愉快的使命；在堕落之后，这一使命变得艰难，但神的旨意仍是让每个人忠心地从事神呼召他去做的召命。召命是否属灵，关键在于我们完成召命时的心灵状态和方式。人应甘心乐意地履行今世的责任，以此来侍奉上帝，荣耀上帝。今天我们要分享的这段经文，主题就是理所当然的侍奉。接下来，我将从三个方面来分享。第一点，我们是基督的仆人；第二点，仆人当如何侍奉；第三点，侍奉当存怎样的心态。分享之前，我们一起祷告。
一、我们是基督的仆人
这个比喻并不是那么好理解。整个故事很短，上下文没有清晰的背景说明。乍听起来有点苛刻，有点刺耳，仿佛不近人情。我们今天的文化与当时差别很大，这一点更增加了理解的难度。我们先来看看这个故事的上下文。路加福音17章1-10节是耶稣在上耶路撒冷的路上对门徒的教导。这10节经文包含四个主题，绊倒人、饶恕、信心和侍奉。这四个主题都与做门徒相关，前两个涉及与弟兄姊妹的关系，后两个涉及与神的关系。今天我们要分享的，是第四个主题侍奉。我们作为神的仆人，侍奉神是理所当然的。
“仆人”（doulas）在希腊原文中是奴仆、奴隶的意思。奴隶或仆人在古代社会是日常生活的一部分。在公元一世纪的罗马帝国，约有百分二十到三十的人口是奴隶。奴隶制在古代社会并非以种族为基础。人们成为奴隶，原因不尽相同。有的是在战争中被俘成为奴隶，有的是因犯罪被罚为奴隶，有的是因负债无法偿还卖身为奴，有的因父母是奴隶，生而为奴，还有的甚至选择做学徒而为奴。奴隶的社会或经济地位差异也很大，有的奴隶是国王或大臣的家宰，不仅权力很大，而且相当富有。但是，不管他们是因为什么原因成为奴隶，也不管他们的社会、经济地位如何，他们都是完全属于主人的，他们自己并没有自主权。他们的责任就是服侍主人、效忠主人、尊荣主人。这是他们作为仆人的本分。今天，我们生活在一个高举平等、强调权利的时代，很难理解和接受仆人的地位。不过，对于当时的门徒，耶稣要表达的意思应该并不难理解。
圣经从不同的角度谈到基督徒的身份。我们是神的儿女、神的朋友、神的管家、神的使者、神的仆人，等等。其中，仆人或奴仆是我们的一个基本身份。门徒与耶稣的关系也被称为仆人与主人的关系。我们的主耶稣自己取了奴仆的形象（腓2:7），他从言语到行为都是仆人的典范。他成为神受苦的仆人，来到世上，就是为了服侍人，甚至为人舍命（可10:45）。他谦卑地服侍人，甚至为门徒洗脚（约13:4-5）。当门徒们争将来谁为大的时候，耶稣对他们说：“你们中间谁愿为大，就必作你们的用人；谁愿为首，就必作你们的仆人。”（太20:26-27）门徒跟随基督，就是成为基督的仆人，并且像他一样，成为众人的仆人。保罗在书信中多次称自己是“基督耶稣的仆人”（罗1:1，腓1:1，多1:1），表明他完全属于主，全然效忠于主，理当顺服主，甘心服侍主，讨主的喜悦。保罗深知，基督是主，对他拥有绝对的主权，因为他是基督用重价买赎来的。他在《罗马书》12章之前阐明了耶稣基督的救赎恩典之后，在12章的一开头便劝勉弟兄姊妹，要将全人献上，当作活祭，因为如此侍奉，乃是理所当然的。我们若蒙恩得救之后，仍为自己而活，或仍为讨人的喜悦，就不是基督的仆人了（加1:10）。除了保罗之外，彼得（彼后1:1）、雅各（雅1:1）、约翰（启1:1）、主的兄弟犹大（犹1）等无不称自己为耶稣基督的仆人。早期教会士每拿主教伊格纳修在书信中提到教会的代表主教、长老和执事时，用来指称执事的词是“同为奴仆的人”（fellow-slaves）。这个称呼是要表明，服侍神是所有基督徒彼此连接的共同纽带。路加在记录撒迦利亚的预言时更清楚地表达了神拯救我们的目的：“叫我们既从仇敌手中被救出来，就可以终身在他面前坦然无惧地用圣洁、公义侍奉他。”（路1:74-75）
作为基督的门徒，我们是否认识到，自己与基督的关系，是仆人与主人的关系？我们是否将生命的主权交给了耶稣基督，愿意听从他的差遣和安排？我们是否从内心深处知道，他用宝血将我们买赎回来，拯救我们脱离黑暗的权势，是为了让我们侍奉他？其实，我们不是侍奉真神，就是侍奉假神。愿我们都能像约书亚那样，立定心志说：“至于我和我家，我们必定侍奉耶和华。”（书24:15）
二、仆人当怎样侍奉
当我们认识自己是基督的仆人之后，下一个问题就是，我们当如何来侍奉他？我们分享的这四节经文，是由两个问题和答案构成的。第一个问题是：“你们谁有仆人耕地或是放羊，从田间回来，就对他说，‘你快来坐下吃饭’呢？”第8节以一个反问句给出了明确的答案：“岂不对他说，‘你给我预备晚饭，束上带子伺候我，等我吃完了，你才可以吃喝’吗？”今天的人读起来会觉得主人很过分，仆人也太委屈了。然而，这个比喻的重点是谈仆人应该怎样服侍主人，而不是谈主人应该怎样对待仆人。古代巴勒斯坦的仆人有许多的责任，主人里里外外都需要他打理。他不仅在外要耕地、放羊，回到主人家里还要给主人做饭、伺候主人吃饭。无论主人要他做什么，他都需要服从。他自己不能选择。他必须把主人的需要放在前头，不能说，我刚刚耕地或放羊回来，岂不应该先休息一下吗！不能说，我干了一天的活，肚子饿了，我得先吃饭，有什么事等我吃饱了再说吧！这不是仆人的心态和做法。作为仆人，他必须先照顾好主人。无论是耕地，还是放羊，都是相当辛苦的劳动。然而，即便在外面耕地或放羊回来已经累了，仆人仍要束上腰带，打起精神，给主人预备好饭食，让主人吃好了，然后他才能吃饭或休息。无论主人吩咐他做什么，他都必须完成。他所做的这一切都是仆人的本分。
我们作为基督的门徒，也是基督的奴仆。古时的仆人怎样服侍主人，我们也当怎样服侍基督。从这个故事里仆人的服侍中，我们可以学习到以下几点关于服侍的功课。
第一，不辞辛苦。我们是仆人，而不是自愿者。自愿者可以选择方便的时候服侍，仆人没有选择的余地。自愿者可以选择他喜欢做的事，仆人不能挑三拣四。无论是耕地，是放羊，是做饭洗碗，是打洗脚水，只要是主人让干的，仆人都得干。耕地、放羊都非常辛苦。耕地是用犁把田地里的土翻松，需要驾驭牛，又要把握犁的方向。放羊也不像都市里的人所想象的那么浪漫。大卫年轻时放过羊，要面对羊走迷了路或被野兽吞吃的危险。他要警醒，竭力保护好羊群，迷羊走失了他要把它们寻回。仆人在做完这些辛苦的工作，按我们今天的常理，回家就应该休息了，怎么还让做饭、伺候主人？但是，明白自己身份和职责的仆人毫无怨言，不辞辛苦地伺候主人。没有什么服侍是不需要辛苦付出的。晓峰牧师周三分享的时候提到，他预备讲章，有时一坐就是几个小时。然后，还要一遍又一遍地修改。尽管他有讲道恩赐，预备的过程也是艰辛的。很多弟兄姊妹白天上班，晚上或周末参与教会服侍，同样非常辛苦。我们中间还有很多人上了一天的班，回到家还要做饭，照顾孩子，辅导孩子功课。我们不可因艰辛而抱怨，更不可因劳累而放弃自己的职责。作为基督的仆人，只要是主让我们做的事，无论做什么，都从心里做，像是给主做的，不是给人做的，这样我们便是在服侍主。
第二，永不停止。服侍不仅艰辛，而且可能很漫长。仆人白天完成耕地或放羊的工作，晚上还有新的服侍等着他。我们的服侍也是这样，一项服侍完成了，新的一项又来了。有时，我们会对主说，主啊，能不能消停消停，让我们歇歇？我们真的疲乏无力之时，主当然会给我们安息、恢复、更新的时间。但我们不能因为之前服侍过一段时间，便觉得自己可以不再服侍了。服侍时间长些的人很容易产生这样一种心态，觉得自己累了，不想再服侍了。疲乏、困倦时需要休息、更新，但休息、更新是为了让我们重新得力，继续更好地服侍主。一项侍奉结束后，我们就要寻求主，明白他给我们的下一项服侍是什么。基督是我们的主人，他要我们终身在他面前以圣洁、公义侍奉他。我们因为身体、年龄等各种原因会从某些服侍岗位上退下来，但是我们只要活着，永远不能停止服侍。在这个意义上，侯士庭曾经说，基督徒永远没有退休。司布真甚至这么说：“靠主恩典，在四人将我抬在肩上送进坟墓之前，我不会‘退休’。只要一息尚存，我们还可以为基督说一句话，我们决不会放弃服侍。”
第三，主旨在先。仆人耕地或放羊回来之后，是先为主人预备晚饭，伺候主人吃喝完，自己再开始吃饭休息。服侍中，我们要先考虑主的心意，而不是我们自己的心意。考虑主的心意，就是要把主看为重要的事放在优先的位置。我们在生活中常常会面对先考虑神国还是先考虑自己的选择。有些时候，我们担心顾了神的事，似乎就要牺牲自己的事。然而主给了我们美好的应许：“你们要先求他的国和他的义，这些东西都要加给你们了。”（太6:33） 还有些时候，我们明明知道主的旨意如何，但由于我们体贴肉体，不愿意体贴圣灵，因此将自己的满足放在了神的旨意前面。
第四，完成托付。耕地或放羊，预备晚饭，伺候主人吃喝，凡主人吩咐他做的，仆人都做了。第10节说，仆人“做完了一切所吩咐的”。主托付的每一样服侍，我们都需要打起精神，认真去做，竭力完成。服侍中特别需要忍耐。我们的肉体真的很软弱，遇到压力和困难我们很想逃避，很想放弃。谁不喜欢更加安逸的生活？有时候，我也想放下手中所做的一切，离开北京，到一个小地方生活，过平静安舒的日子。但我只能想想，我是神的仆人，不属于自己，不能自作主张。作为主的仆人，完成主所吩咐的工作是我们的本分，否则便是不忠心。
三、侍奉当存怎样的心态
第二个问题是：“仆人照所吩咐的去做，主人还谢谢他吗？”答案是：不！“这样，你们做完了一切所吩咐的，只当说：‘我们是无用的仆人，所做的本是我们应分做的。’”仆人做完了主人所吩咐的，主人是不是应该感谢他，给他奖赏？仆人是不是有功劳，主人因此欠了他债？不！这一切本来就是仆人的职责，是他分内的事。一个人做他分内所做的事，他的心态中不应该期待主人来感谢或奖赏他。
中国古代的将军或大臣立了大功，都期待君王给他们加官进爵。这是世人的正常想法。所以雅各和约翰起初会向主求，将来主得国的时候，他们一个坐在他的左边，一个坐在他的右边。当我们忠心完成了主所吩咐的一切工作，有时心里会想，我完成了这么多艰难的工作，付出了这么大的牺牲，成就了如此了不起的事工，祝福了这么多的人，难道不应当被奖励、受夸奖吗？然而，这不是仆人当有的心态。仆人只当说：“我们是无用的仆人，所做的本是我们应分做的。” 第10节中“无用的仆人”，多数英文译本译为“unworthy servants”(不配的仆人)或“unprofitable servants”(无益的仆人)。这里并非指仆人毫无用处，而是指仆人不配得到回报或奖赏，主人不欠他们任何东西，他们所做的本来就是他们的本分。仆人心里当存的是不配、谦卑的心态。
首先，当认识自己的不配。我们是不配的仆人，不可觉得我们当得主的回报。我们所有的一切，我们的身体、灵魂，我们所拥有的一切，都是神所赐的，我们永远无法偿还。神不仅创造了我们，而且救赎了我们，用他儿子耶稣基督的血买赎了我们。我们所做的一切，原本是出于神的恩典和帮助。我们完成这一切工作的能力，也是主所赐的。神至尊至荣，我们所做的一切于他并无增益。可是，我们往往忘记了自己仆人的身份，以为完成了一些主的工作就应该得到夸赞和奖赏。大家可能听过下面这个故事。有一对宣教士夫妇在非洲侍奉多年后回美国。
他们和西奥多.罗斯福总统同乘一艘船。罗斯福是去非洲狩猎回来。在纽约港上岸的时候，有乐队为罗斯福演奏他最喜欢的歌曲，有高官在那里迎接他。而这对宣教士夫妇下船时却冷泠清清，无人迎接。这个对比太强烈，让丈夫感到崩溃。他对妻子说：“这太不公平了！真是太不公平了！我们将一切所有都给了神，可他为我们做什么了？”他妻子回答说：“亲爱的，我知道这不公平，你为何不进入卧室，把这一切告诉神，看看他会对你说什么？”于是，他进到卧室，独自跪下祷告。祷告出来后，他脸上放光，对妻子说：“你知道主对我说什么吗？他说：‘然而你还没有回家呢。’” 当我们回天家的时候，主将亲自迎接我们。很多时候，我们服侍，带着被肯定、被承认，甚至被感谢和纪念的期待。如果我们得不到肯定或回报，便会灰心沮丧，甚至愤怒。我们没有把服侍当作是理所当然的。其实，上帝可以不需要我们侍奉。他是全能的上帝。他说有就有，命立就立。没有我们，他并非不能成就他的工作。然而，他拣选我们，愿意让我们与他同工，使我们借着服侍他，生命被塑造和改变。能够服侍他，是他赐给我们的恩典和荣耀。
其次，当以谦卑束腰。奥古斯丁曾经说，通往基督的道路，首先是谦卑，其次是谦卑，再次还是谦卑。如果谦卑不先于、伴随和紧随我们所做的每一样善工，骄傲就会从我们手中将我们所做的任何善工夺去。无论我们在服侍中多么顺服，事工多么有果效，只要骄傲之心一起，一切都被玷污了。过去几个月，我多次和楼下的两个画画老师交谈。他们遇到生命中的困惑或难题，愿意跟我聊。好几次聊完，他们都不由自主地称赞我，说我渊博、睿智、谦卑。赞美的话熬练人心。有时候，听到别人的夸奖，我们嘴角不由得会流露出难以抑制的笑容。可是，我在跟他们分享的时候，是在给他们传福音，是想把他们引到基督的面前。我怎能从人那受荣耀，而不把荣耀归给神呢？我对他们说，你们在我身上感受到那么一丁点儿智慧和生命，都如此敬佩，如果你们认识我所信的耶稣基督，看见他身上的荣耀，那会发出怎样的惊叹和赞美！真的，我们的智慧与上帝的相比，不过是沧海一粟。更何况，这些智慧都是从他那里来的，我们生命中一切的美好也都是被他塑造出来的。我们有什么值得夸耀呢？正如保罗所言：“使你与人不同的是谁呢？你有什么不是领受的呢？若是领受的，为何自夸，仿佛不是领受的呢？”（林前4:7）李文斯顿在非洲宣教，服侍主三十三年。
当他回家的时候，人们称赞他，视他为超级明星一样的“仆人”。李文斯顿自己却说：“就我而言，我为主分派我如此的职分不住地喜乐。人们说我在非洲度过了人生这么长的时间，作出了巨大的牺牲。我欠主的巨债，永远无法偿清。这不过只是偿还那么一丁点儿，岂能称为牺牲？应该说，这是我的荣幸。焦虑、疾病、受苦，或危险，加上放弃今世一般的便利和慈惠，偶尔会让我们停下脚步，使我们的心摇动，灵魂下沉；但愿这只是一时的。与主将来要显与我们的荣耀相比，这一切都不足介意。我从未作出牺牲。当我们想起主的伟大牺牲，他离开父至高的宝座，将自己赐给我们，我们怎能再提自己的牺牲？”是的，只要我们定睛在主的身上，还有什么理由骄傲呢！
总结
最后，我想对大家说，若是你还在挣扎当中，难以立定心志服侍主，请你真实地去面对自己生命中的拦阻，恳切地求神挪去这些障碍，将自己献上，去服侍主，只有这样，你才能体会到人生的意义，也只有这样，你才会发现，自己不再是奴仆，而是儿子。若是你已经服侍了一段时间，让我们一同向主献上感恩，感谢他赐给我们服侍他的机会，同时也恳求主怜悯我们，使我们能服侍他到底，不要陷入懈怠和骄傲之中。
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The house is not the most important thing, love is! Xiao Wangong
My husband and I both got to the top 2 from the Hubei fifth-tier small county, he was Peking University Physics, and I was Tsinghua Architecture.
I am currently in charge of high-end residential properties at a top developer in Beijing; He is a high school teacher and a physics leader in Beijing’s top high schools. We have been in Beijing for nine years since we graduated from undergraduate school, during which we have moved six times, and the latest seventh time is packing up and preparing to move back to Wuhan. Recently, I saw that my circle of friends was flooded by many articles by Tsinghua graduates who could not afford to buy school district houses and fled back to the second line, and the articles were full of questions, regrets, and dissatisfaction. I especially want to record our stories over the years, the same story about houses but with very different painting styles.
We moved six times in nine years, but every time we moved, we were happy.
After graduating in ’08, I moved from the Tsinghua Bauhinia Apartment to a new staff dormitory in Shunyi. The company is in Chaoyang District, far from the dormitory, 1 and a half hours by car. But I just graduated with a meager salary, I can’t afford to rent a nearby house, and I’m really grateful that the company provides dormitories. Less than 400 per month, small studio facing north. I spent almost all of my time at work, and moving from a four-person room at school to a small room for myself, I felt that my living space per capita had increased significantly. The deepest impression during this period was that my parents brought their mother to Beijing once, it was summer, my father insisted on not staying in a hotel, our family was bunk in my small single room, the two grandmothers slept on the bed, and my parents and I slept on the floor.
My parents were actually a little distressed when they saw my situation at that time, after all, the only daughter, although her family was working in a fifth-tier small city, also lived in a big house, and she felt that after reading so many books, the quality of life in Beijing was so low. I comforted them and said that I like my work in Beijing, my colleagues are excellent, the leadership is also very good, and I am alone, I can’t sleep in two beds, and the small single room is just right. In this small studio in Shunyi, I finished my first suburban small market, when Beijing house prices were just starting to take off, and 400 houses were sold out in a day.
The second move was a year later when I married my boyfriend, who was still studying for a master’s degree at Peking University at the time, and for his convenience, we moved to Wanliu and rented a small apartment. The landlord is an old Beijing couple, I heard that we rented a wedding room, specially painted the walls, green doors, and windows, and terrazzo floor clean. Posted with happy words, we held a grand and simple church wedding under the witness of relatives and friends, and we were happily naked. It was really a naked marriage, and I remember using that quarter’s bonus to pay for the rent and wedding, and I only had two thousand dollars on hand. But especially happy, the two of us met at the age of twelve, six years in the same class in middle school, six years in college love, and finally able to marry the person I love the most, it is really a feeling of drinking water. Wanliu is very close to our university, newlywed Yaner, too lazy to fire to ride to school to eat, weekend walks next to the unnamed lake, go to purple exercise to play football, although the living is simple, the memories are sweet. At that time, I passed by Wanquan New Home every day at work, and I also thought sourly whether I could live in such a good community one day, I remember that the unit price of Wanquan was 20,000 at that time, but it was already astronomical for us at that time. So for the house, just think about it, have clothing, food and love people to live together, it is very content. In the year I lived in Wanliu, Beijing’s land market was still very active, and in addition to being in charge of a suburban market, I did more than 30 land acquisition projects, worked overtime day and night, and finally obtained the first piece of land I handled through bidding.
The third time I moved was two years after marriage, I was pregnant and he was about to graduate, and considering that Wan Liu was too far from where I worked, and I didn’t have enough children to live in, we rented a two-bedroom near the company in Chaoyang District. During this period, I found that the children of the collective account of the unit could not settle down, so I put the purchase of a house on the agenda. In 2010, house prices had skyrocketed, and we quickly picked out the only small two-bedroom outside the fifth ring road that we could buy among all the real estate in the company at that time (especially the project I bid for earlier:). The down payment was 300,000 yuan, and the parents of both sides supported part of it, after paying the down payment and various handling fees, there was no money in the card, and they were a little worried that the next month’s salary would be enough for the cost of the birth and birth examination. We welcomed our first baby in the rented Unity Lake 2-bedroom house. My aunt came to help me watch the children, and when her daughter graduated from college, I invited my cousin to come to Beijing to find a job and live in our house. During this time, my good friend was evicted by the landlord and could not find a house for a while, so I asked her to live in our house first. So this small two-bedroom of 50 square meters in Unity Lake has lived with 6 people at most – it is so crowded that my mother said that it is not a good time for me to have children at this time, and I should wait until the house is ready. But every day when I ride home from work and see a cute baby, I feel very happy, as long as it is a child born of love, in fact, it does not matter what kind of house, it does not matter what good timing. In this six-person room in Unity Lake, I completed our first large-scale commercial complex project of 200,000 square meters, and because the company never found the right person to take over, I worked until the day before the birth of my child.
The child was weaned at the age of more than one year, and we finally moved to our own small house outside the Fifth Ring Road, from renting old and dilapidated to our own home far and new, seeing the neat and clean bathroom and kitchen, living happiness burst, children and the elderly are also very happy. At this time, my husband has graduated from graduate school, in fact, when I graduated from the physics department, I still have many choices, you can search for companies, large enterprises, and high school teachers – many offers in high school teachers are the lowest income. He asked me what I expected, and I said let’s see what you want to do the most. He said he still wanted to be a teacher, maybe he could earn more by doing something else, but he always felt that doing education was the most rewarding job. I said Okay, anyway, I’m busy with work so you can watch the child in the future haha, so he really became a high school physics teacher. When we moved to the south, he was originally in contact to transfer to the middle school at the doorstep, but it was the first batch of students he brought with him, and there was no college entrance examination yet, so he thought of sending them away and transferring them again and began the painful commute from the southwest fifth ring road to the northeast fifth ring road, and there was no way but to live in school in the middle of the week and go home on the weekend. I was in charge of Beijing’s first subway superstructure project, building commercial complexes, ordinary houses, and public rental housing on top of the subway depot, with all kinds of regulatory restrictions, and it was particularly difficult to do and often not be at home. After half a year, although we lived well, we all found it unbearable, and my children and I could only see my father once or twice a week – if the family can’t live together, what’s the point of a good house?
In order for him to be able to finish his senior year with peace of mind, we moved for the fifth time. They settled in the dormitory provided by their school in the East Fifth Ring Road, where all the furniture was a bed, a wardrobe, and a chair. My daughter is very opinionated, she likes our own house, but I told her that although living here is very small, you can see Dad every day. She thought about it and said: Well, the house is not important, or the family is the most important! So in this small house of less than 30 square meters, our family lived for ten months, and every day the father had time to accompany the child, although the things in the family were so small that the children could count it, so what – in fact, the things necessary for people’s lives are very few, and the space required is not much. In this small house, I completed the only project since I became a real estate designer – a large pension apartment; What’s more, in this little house, we have a second child of our own.
Before Erbao was born, the sixth move in the sixth year after graduation, we finally really moved back to our small home outside the South Fifth Ring Road, and my husband also began to work happily at the school at the doorstep. Our house is indeed very comfortable to live in, subway room, big shopping mall, big park, from kindergarten to middle school OEM full education. To be honest, looking at the scheme I saw in the model and PPT before, now it has become a real building, a living community, and living in it with my own family, is particularly wonderful and fulfilling, which may only be experienced by people who do architecture. Sometimes I think of living in this two-bedroom apartment with the lowest decoration standard of our company, in charge of the most high-end hardcover villa project in the Beijing market, and often laughing at myself as a “sericulture farmer”.
The aunt continued to help bring the second eldest child, and the husband was responsible for picking up the eldest who was attending the kindergarten next to him. The years are quiet, the world is stable, and our income is gradually getting richer. Thinking that his parents were about to retire and his children needed a private room when they were older, he sold the small house he had last year as a down payment and took out a loan to buy a four-bedroom apartment. We were planning to move for the seventh time to live in a big house with our parents, but we decided to return to Wuhan unexpectedly.
When saying goodbye to friends, they don’t understand that they have a house, a car, a household registration, and a career, and feel that we are the type of people who are the least likely to “escape”. But in fact, my husband has always wanted to go back, and when he returns to Wuhan, he can also go to the top middle school in China, and the children can be better-taken care of close to their parents. It just so happened that our company had an opportunity to transfer internally to Wuhan, I participated in the competition and found that the changes in Wuhan in recent years were very obvious, under the pattern of first-tier population restrictions, second-tier cities rose strongly, and Wuhan also had career space that was not inferior to Beijing. But it’s really tangled, after 14 years in Beijing, we all regard this place as our second home. After discussing with her husband for a long time, as far as the family is concerned, parents and children who go to Wuhan can have better care, improve overall happiness, and the quality of basic education in Wuhan is also good; As far as personal career development is concerned, the two of us have developed very well in Beijing or Wuhan. In the end, what prompted us to make up our minds was that the two of us felt that going to Wuhan compared to staying in Beijing, although there was a lot of uncertainty, definitely had a greater industry influence and could serve more people who needed better buildings and better education.
The only bad thing is that Wuhan is also limited in purchases, and it is estimated that I will continue to rent a house and continue to move when I go back. But now I feel that this is really the least important. I remember when my husband was working overtime to do physics experiments, in order to urge him to go home, I sent him a WeChat message: Feynman (winner of the 1965 Nobel Prize in Physics) said: “I want to thank my wife. In my heart, physics is not the most important, love is!” Later, I went to the real estate company, and I had to toss and buy various houses all day long, and he would ridicule me: “Wife, in my heart, the house is not the most important, love is!” I’m ashamed to say that many people think that house prices are rising, People in the real estate industry are at least beneficiaries, in fact, no, families without accumulation are difficult for anyone, From 08-17 years, we also missed countless opportunities to get on the car, and in the real estate company, obviously look at the lot of real estate they have done know that they will rise if they buy, but there is no money that feeling is so entangled! But so what, I really understand – the house is not the most important thing, love is!
In fact, we have been in Beijing for 14 years, and we really don’t live in any so-called good houses, The only houses that we may have lived in belonging to the so-called upper class are the dormitories of Tsinghua and Peking University. However, in the 9 years of my work, I have personally designed and built tens of thousands of sets of public rental housing, commercial housing, high-end villas, senior apartments, commercial complexes, and kindergartens, affecting and improving the lives of thousands of Beijingers. While these projects may not be perfect, I am truly in awe and do everything I can to take seriously the city I build and the people who live in it and do everything they can to buy homes.
Looking at a lot of recent discussions, it seems that everyone’s character setting for TOP2 is that TOP2 is branded by the upper class after graduation, and it is natural that they should stay on the front line to live in a big house, and their children go to a good school district, otherwise, there is a problem in society and no respect for knowledge. But I don’t think it’s like this, “Tianxingjian, a gentleman with self-improvement; The terrain is kun, the gentleman carries things with great virtue” – our education has never promised us a TOP-level material life, but more so that no matter what kind of environment we are in, we will not lose our morality and will not lose our will. Just like the sage Mencius said, “Wealth cannot be adulterous, poverty cannot be moved, and might cannot be yielded”; As Paul said in the New Testament, “I know how to be lowly and how to be rich, or full, or hungry, or surplus, or lack, and I have the secret whenever I want.” I can do everything by the one who strengthens me
My husband and I particularly liked the motto of Yenching University, the predecessor of Peking University, “Freedom for Service through Truth.” We firmly believe that our education is not just to stay in Beijing to obtain hukou, or for our own better material enjoyment, let alone just for future generations to keep the so-called TOP2 class, but because we have a firm will, since we know the truth through education, we can be free, do not follow the trend of the world, but strive to serve and influence more people, so that more people can live a better life.
As for our children, if they can always grow up in the love of their parents, then what about him in Beijing or Wuhan, or in the scum, or in the cattle, or in a mansion, or in a poor alley? He is always in a higher class than the so-called home-owning class, and he never has to worry about slipping down!
见证篇190.房子…
房子不是最重要的，爱才是！小万工
我和我的丈夫都是从湖北五线小县城考到TOP2的，他北大物理，我清华建筑。
我目前在北京顶尖开发商负责高端住宅；他在北京顶尖高中分校区做高中老师，物理学科带头人。我们本科毕业留京至今九年，期间搬了六次家，最近的这第七次，正在打包准备搬回武汉。近来看到我的朋友圈被好多清华毕业生买不起学区房逃离回二线的文章刷屏，文章里充斥着疑问、遗憾和不满。让我特别想记录一下我们这些年的故事，同样关于房子但画风截然不同的故事。
我们虽然九年搬家六次，但其实每次搬家都是欢欢喜喜的。
08年毕业，我从清华紫荆公寓搬到顺义的新员工宿舍。公司在朝阳区，离宿舍很远，1个半小时的车程。但刚毕业薪俸微薄，租不起附近的房子，真的很感恩公司提供宿舍。每月400不到的房租，朝北的小单间。我那时几乎所有的时间都花在工作上，而且从学校的四人间搬到个人的小单间，反而觉得自己的人均居住面积显著提升。期间印象最深的是我的父母带着他们俩的母亲一起来北京玩过一次，当时是夏天，父亲又执意不肯住宾馆，我们一家人就在我的小单间里打地铺，两位奶奶睡在床上，我和父母睡在地上。父母当时看到我的状况其实有些心疼，毕竟独生女，在五线小城虽然家境工薪，也是住着大房子的，觉得读了那么多的书，来了北京反而生活质量这么低。我安慰他们说，我很喜欢我在北京的工作啊，同事优秀，领导也很好，而且我一个人，睡不了两张床，小单间正好。就在顺义的这个小单间里，我做完了自己负责的第一个郊区小盘，那时北京房价刚开始起飞，400套房子一天售罄。
第二次搬家是在一年后，我和当时还在北大念硕士的男友结婚，为了他念书方便，我们搬到万柳——租了个小一居。房东是一对老北京夫妇，听说我们是租来做婚房的，特地粉刷了墙面，绿色的门窗、水磨石的地板都擦得屋明几净。贴上喜字，我们在亲友的见证下办了盛大而简朴的教会婚礼，特幸福地裸婚。真的是裸婚，我记得自己用那个季度的奖金交完租金和婚礼的费用，手头就只剩了两千块钱。但是特别幸福，我俩十二岁相识，中学六年同班，大学六年恋爱，终于能和自己最爱的人结婚，真是有情饮水饱的感觉。万柳离我们的大学都很近，新婚燕尔，懒得开火就骑车去学校吃饭，周末在未名湖旁边散步，去紫操踢球，虽然住的简单，但回忆起来的都是甜蜜。那时我每天上班都路过万泉新新家园，也曾经酸酸地想过自己是不是有一天能住上这么好的小区，记得那时万泉的单价2万，但是于当时的我们而言已经是天文数字。所以对于房子也只是想想，有衣有食有相爱的人同住，就很知足。住万柳那年，北京的土地市场还很活跃，负责一个郊区大盘之余，我做了30多个拿地项目，没日没夜地加班，终于通过投标拿到了自己经手的第一块土地。
第三次搬家是在婚后两年，我怀孕了，他也快要毕业，考虑到万柳离我上班的地方太远，而且有了孩子不够住，我们租了一个朝阳区公司附近的两居。期间，我发现单位的集体户口孩子无法落户，才把买房提上日程。2010年房价已经飞涨，我们快速地在公司当时所有的楼盘中挑了一个唯一能买的起的五环外小两居（特别巧就是我之前投标获取的那个项目：）。首付30万，双方父母各支持了一部分，交完了首付和各种手续费，卡里什么钱都没有了，当时都有点担心下个月工资发了够不够生娃产检的费用。我们在租的团结湖小两居里迎来了自己第一个宝宝。双方父母都未退休，我姨来帮我看孩子，期间她女儿大学毕业，我邀请表妹来北京找工作，住我们家。又期间我的好朋友被房东赶了出来，一时找不到房子，我又让她先住我们家。所以这个团结湖50平米的小两居，最多的时候住过6个人——闹哄哄地很拥挤，以至于我妈都说我这时候要孩子不是好时机，应该等房子妥当再要。但是我每天下班骑车回家看到可爱宝宝的时候都觉得特别幸福，只要是因爱而生的孩子，其实不拘在什么房子里，也无所谓什么好时机。就在这个团结湖的六人间里，我完成了我司第一个20万平米的大型商业综合体项目，由于公司一直没有找到合适的人接手，直到孩子生产前一天我都在工作。
孩子一岁多断奶，我们终于搬到了属于自己的五环外小房里，从租住的老破小搬到自家的远小新，看到整洁干净的卫生间和厨房，居住幸福感爆棚，孩子和老人也都很开心。此时丈夫已经研究生毕业，其实物理系毕业的时候还是有好多选择的，可以去搜索公司，大国企，高中老师——诸多OFFER里高中老师是收入最低的。他问我我的期待，我说看你最想做什么吧。他说他还是想当老师，也许干别的能赚的多，但始终觉得做教育是最有意义的工作。我说那好啊，反正我工作忙，这样你以后可以看孩子哈哈，于是他就真的成了一名高中物理老师。我们搬到南边的时候，他本来联系好调到家门口中学，但那是他带的第一届学生，还没有高考，所以想着把他们送走再调过来，就开始了西南五环到东北五环的痛苦通勤，没办法只能周中住在学校，周末回家。我那会正负责北京第一个地铁上盖项目，在地铁车辆段上建商业综合体、普通住宅和公租房，各种规范限制，做得特别艰难，也常常不着家。这样过了小半年，虽然住的很好，但我们都觉得挺难以忍受，我和孩子一周只能见到一两次爸爸——如果家人都不能住在一起，房子再好有什么意义？
为了让他能安心带完那届高三，我们第五次搬家。寄居到东五环他们学校提供的宿舍里，里面所有的家具是一张床、一个衣柜、一把椅子。女儿很有意见，她很喜欢我们自己的那个房子，但是我跟她说，住这里虽然很小，你可以天天见到爸爸了啊。她想了想就说：嗯，房子不重要，还是一家人在一起最重要！于是在这个小小的不足30平米的房子里，我们一家生活了十个月，每天爸爸都有时间陪孩子，尽管家里的东西少到孩子都能数清楚，这又如何——其实人生活所必需的东西就是很少，所需的空间也不大啊。在这个小房子里，我完成了自己做地产设计师以来唯一一个不挣钱的项目——一个大型养老公寓；更重要的是，在这个小房子里，我们又有了自己的第二个孩子。
在二宝出生之前，毕业后的第六年的第六次搬家我们终于真正搬回了南五环外的小家，丈夫也开始在家门口学校上班的幸福生活。我司的房子确实住着很舒服，地铁房、大商场、大公园、从幼儿园到中学名校贴牌全程教育。说实话看着之前在模型里、PPT里看到的方案，现在变成真正的建筑，鲜活的社区，自己和自己的家人生活在其间，是特别奇妙又有成就感的，这感觉也许只有做建筑的人才能体会。有时想到在这个我司最低装修标准的两居里住着的我，负责着北京市场上最高端的精装别墅项目，也常常自嘲“遍身罗绮者，不是养蚕人”。
大姨又继续来帮忙带老二，丈夫则负责接送在旁边上幼儿园的老大。岁月静好，现世安稳，我们的收入也渐渐宽裕。想着父母快退休，孩子大了需要独立房间，去年把手头的小房子卖掉作为首付，贷款买了一个四居。本来筹划着第七次搬家和父母一起住上大房子，我们却特别意外地决定回武汉。
跟朋友道别的时候他们都特别不理解，有房有车有户口有事业，觉得我们是最不可能“逃离”的那一类人。但其实丈夫一直想回去，回武汉也能去国内顶尖的中学，而且离父母近孩子也能得到更好的照料。恰好我们公司有一个内部调动去武汉的机会，我参与竞聘，发现这几年武汉的变化非常明显，在一线限制人口的格局下，二线城市强势崛起，大江大湖大武汉也有不逊于北京的事业空间。但是真的很纠结，毕竟在北京待了十四年，我们都把这里当成了自己的第二故乡。和丈夫商量了许久，就家庭而言，去武汉父母和孩子都能有更好的照顾，提升整体幸福感，武汉的基础教育质量也不错；就个人的职业发展而言，我们俩无论在北京或在武汉有很好的发展。最后促使我们下定决心走的，是我们俩觉得自己去武汉相比留在北京，尽管有很多的不确定性，但肯定会有更大的行业影响力，能服务更多需要更好建筑，需要更好教育的人。
唯一不好的是，武汉也限购，回去估计还是继续租房子，继续搬家的生活。但是我现在觉得这真的是最不重要的了。记得之前丈夫加班做物理实验的时候，我为了催他回家，就给他发微信：费曼（1965年诺贝尔物理奖得主）说:“我要感谢我的妻子……在我心中,物理不是最重要的, 爱才是!” 后来我去了地产公司，一天到晚要折腾买各种房子，他就会调侃我：“老婆，在我心中，房子不是最重要的，爱才是！” 说来惭愧，很多人觉得房价上涨，地产行业的人至少是受益者，其实不是，家庭没有积累对谁来说都很难，08-17年，我们也错过了无数上车的机会，而且在地产公司，明明看着自己做的好多楼盘知道买了就会涨的，但就是没钱那种感觉也好纠结啊！但这又如何呢，我真的明白——房子不是最重要的，爱才是！
其实我们在北京14年，回忆起来确实没住过什么所谓的好房子，可能住过的唯一属于所谓上层阶级的房子就是清华和北大的宿舍。但是，在我工作的9年间，我亲手操盘设计建设了数以万套计公租房、商品房、高端别墅、老年公寓、商业综合体、幼儿园，影响和改善了千千万万北京人的生活。虽然这些项目不一定那么完美，但我真的是怀着敬畏之心，竭尽所能地认真对待我所建造的城市，以及在这城市中生活的倾尽所有购买房屋的人民。
看最近的好多讨论，好像大家对TOP2的人物设定就是TOP2毕业就打上了上层阶级的烙印，理所当然应该留在一线住上大房子，孩子上好学区，不然就是社会出了问题不尊重知识。可我觉得不是这样的，“天行健，君子以自强不息；地势坤，君子以厚德载物”——我们所受的教育，从来没有承诺我们有TOP级的物质生活，更多地是让我们无论在什么样的环境中，都不失德，都不丧志。就像先贤孟子说的“富贵不能淫，贫贱不能移，威武不能屈” ；就像新约圣经中保罗说的 “我知道怎样处卑贱,也知道怎样处丰富，或饱足，或饥饿，或有余，或缺乏，随事随在，我都得了秘诀。我靠着那加给我力量的，凡事都能做
我和丈夫都特别喜欢北京大学前身燕京大学的校训“因真理，得自由，以服侍”。我们深信我们所受的教育，绝不是仅仅为了留在北京获取户口，或是为了自身更好的物质享受，更不是仅仅为了后代能保住所谓的TOP2阶层，而是因着有立定的心志，既然通过教育晓得真理，就得以自由，不追随世俗的潮流，而是努力去服侍和影响更多的人，让更多的人过上更美好的生活。
至于我们的孩子，若是始终能在父母的爱中长大，那他或在北京，或在武汉，或进渣小，或上牛中，或居豪宅，或居陋巷又怎样？他始终处在一个比所谓有房阶层更高的，永远不用担心滑落的被爱的阶层！
Testimony…
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The family affection in the movie is real and touching, but the solution of time travel can only provide temporary comfort. While we were moved to tears by the movie, we planned to invite our mother to dinner and take our parents for a physical examination; I also look forward to going to work quickly, because the more I get along with my parents, the more difficult it is. The loss, dislocation, and regret of love require real answers. When reason saw no possibility, God worked in my prayers.
In 2001, Jia Ling, who had just entered the university a month before, received the news that her mother Li Huanying had died unexpectedly. Since then, her mother’s departure has become a wound that Jia Ling is unwilling to touch. In the New Year film “Hello, Li Huanying”, Jia Xiaoling, played by Jia Ling, travels back to 1981; In order to make up for her regrets, she tries all kinds of ways to make her mother Li Huanying happy in her youth, resulting in a series of ridiculous things.
Jia Ling left a young and beautiful image of her mother in the movie, “Since I can remember, my mother is the appearance of a middle-aged woman, in fact, my mother used to be a girl in the flower season.” At the end of the film, Jia Xiaoling drives the open-top sports car promised to her mother, carrying her mother in a fashionable leather jacket with a smile on her face; But as soon as the camera turned, the mother sitting next to her disappears permanently, and Jia Xiaoling also turned joy into sadness, moving forward alone on the track of time.
“Parents are here, life still has a place, parents go, life is only a way back.” The person you want to share and want to give is no longer there, which is Jia Ling’s regret and the pain in the hearts of many people. On the other side of life, we always seem to be unable to give what we really want when our parents are still alive, just as Jia Xiaoling in the film is difficult to make middle-aged Li Huanying happy. Our love in the world always has all kinds of shortcomings. Maybe it can be temporarily relieved in a dream-making movie, but when the lights turn on and the movie ends, everything seems to return to square one.
With parents, the more you get along, the more difficult it is
In the interview, Jia Ling said: “My mother is gone, and the happiness in this life is missing. “I used to think that crying until she was distressed was just a description, but when writing the script, she remembered her mother’s past and really cried until she was distressed. Jia Ling said that all she could give the audience was sincerity, and this time, the audience also received her sincerity. After watching the film, many people either hug their parents around them or call their parents; The audience expressed that they should cherish the time with their parents more.
As a post-80s generation born in the same era as Jia Ling, the women around me either got married and had children early, or they started their careers and rode the wind and waves like Jia Ling in the workplace. I am still unmarried, but I often fall into the distress of the mother-daughter relationship because my mother forced marriage. A girlfriend said that she did not have any conflict with her mother, but in fact, because she was careful to avoid it, and her heart was already too desperate to touch the wound. In the film, Jia Xiaoling, who traveled back, and her mother became girlfriends who ate and slept together, sticking cucumber slices on their faces, shopping, and drinking wine. Such a relationship is envious of others.
In the real world, we either have been going back and forth when communicating with our parents because of the harm to our original family, or we jump up because the other party wants to manipulate our lives in the name of love, or we fall into various problems caused by the dislocation of family order and the gap between three views. The dream of traveling back and being best friends with a young mother is wonderful, but the reality is always skinny.
I don’t know if Jia Ling’s mother hadn’t died, would she have been forced marriage every Spring Festival like my mother; I also don’t know if in the trough of Jia Ling’s life, before she became famous, her mother Li Huanying could endure her daughter’s heartache in Beipiao, instead of pushing Jia Ling back to her hometown to find a stable job, get married and have children. After Li Huanying’s death, Jia Ling’s sister Jia Dan replaced her mother, and she often took out a small amount of salary to help her sister, but she also said this to Jia Ling: “Look at you fat, can you be red just like you?” He even hated that he kicked his sister without steel.
Li Huanying on the screen said to Jia Xiaoling: “I hope my daughter is healthy and happy.” “Off-screen, when I was healthy and happy, my mother was still worried about me being older and unmarried and not making any money. In the film, Jia Xiaoling is always glued to “If my mother didn’t give birth to me, I must be happier than now”, She longs for her mother to sit in an open-top sports car, wear a mink coat, eat abalone bird’s nest, and give her mother a long face. Jia Xiaoling wants to give her mother what she thinks is best. Li Huanying said: “I think I have lived a very happy life in this life, why don’t you believe me?” ”
At the end of the film, Li Huanying, who traveled back, took flowers in his hand, jumped on the back seat of his lover’s bicycle, and walked away joyfully and contentedly. Many times what we want to give is not necessarily what people really want. Whether inside or outside the movie, whether it is 1981, 2001, or 2021, it seems that we are always easy to misunderstand the love that our loved ones need, and it is difficult to give each other what they really need, and even more difficult to live the ideal us in each other’s eyes. We desperately want to give, we desperately want to grab loved ones, but it is always self-defeating.
Or something sadder than sadness, such as Jia Xiaoling’s final shock, Li Huanying in her youth is actually Li Huanying who crossed back in middle age, she cried and ran to find her mother, but separation is doomed. She can’t change her mother’s fate, even if she is willing to pay the price of her own life disappearing; Li Huanying also decisively chooses to see Jia Xiaoling in the future, Although this fate is miserable, because of love, she is willing.
I used to feel panic, afraid that the regret of “not waiting for the child to be raised” would fall on me. I would love to work hard to bring a good life to my parents and try to spend more time with them, but the more we get along, the harder it gets, and we will never be able to understand and accept each other. My heart was like a boat adrift, and I could only embrace my loneliness, which in turn exacerbated the pain of living.
Who can fill in the gaps?
We can’t change others, and it seems harder to change ourselves. We have love, but we don’t know how to love properly; We have love, but it is easy to exhaust. The absence, dislocation, or defect of love is the norm in this world. We are not capable of giving complete love, let alone keeping love. The law of this world is to keep losing and letting us lose. Our love is always stolen too much and destroyed too much by the world; We are selfish, narrow-minded, and self-righteous, and we always twist love. Who can fill in such a gap? Who can help me overcome the laws of this world?
It wasn’t until I came to Christ that the peace Jesus brought into my heart, and His Word allowed me to discover the truth of the world. Later, my mother also came to Christ, and our mother and daughter had a new relationship—becoming sisters in the Lord. My mother is not only my mother, but also the daughter of God who has an equal status just like me! When this mother and sister of mine were still greedy for the world’s money, I stopped arguing with her, but prayed for her life. When friction arises in our relationship, I know that it is a stepping stone for our mutual growth and that trusting in God brings us closer together.
In the film, the middle-aged Li Huanying has traveled back to 1981 before Jia Xiaoling crosses over, and when Jia Xiaoling asks her, “Are you happy that I came?” She replied, “I’m happy! Jia Xiaoling said, “I can make you happier.” Li Huanying watched her daughter help her buy a TV, drive away the gangsters, and fight for her the opportunity to change her fate, and she also fully cooperated to make her daughter happy. When watching Jia Xiaoling’s performance offstage, she laughed and cried. Li Huanying’s love is silent. When Jia Xiaoling recalled her mother, she remembered the first time she went to school far away, after her mother put her in the car, she pretended to take the car home, but got out of the car after her daughter left, in order to save money, walking alone on a white snowy day.
Some viewers left a message saying that when they watched the movie, they felt that their daughter loved their mother, and after watching it, they understood that it was the mother who loved her daughter more. But the love of God the Father is to send Jesus, His only begotten Son, to lay down everything he had and go alone to a world full of pain, regret, and ugliness because of sin, to sacrifice his innocent life and be crucified as a ransom for the sinful, so that all who believe in Him can return to the embrace of the Father’s love.
He promised, “The resurrection is in me, and the life is in me; Whoever believes in me, though dead, will rise again. Whoever lives and believes in Me will never die. “I no longer fear death and the separation of my parents, and I know that my mother and I are both travelers in the world and will one day be reunited with him. God is like an old father, leaning against the door, looking up, waiting for His children to come home.
见证篇189.给不…
给不出的爱，留不住的人-金鱼子
电影里的亲情真实感人，时空穿越的解决办法却只能提供暂时安慰。我们一边被电影感动得流泪，计划请老妈吃饭，带父母体检；也盼着赶紧上班，因为和父母越是相处越难相处。爱的缺失、错位和遗憾，需要真正的回答。当理性看不到可能时，神却在我的祷告中动工了。
2001年，刚入大学校门一个月的贾玲，就接到母亲李焕英因意外不幸去世的消息。自此，母亲的离去成为贾玲心里不愿意去触碰的伤口。在贺岁片《你好，李焕英》中，贾玲饰演的贾晓玲穿越回到1981年；为了弥补遗憾，她想尽各种办法让青春时代的母亲李焕英开心，由此闹出一串啼笑皆非的事情。
贾玲在电影中留下了母亲青春美丽的形象，“从记事起，妈妈就是中年妇女的样子，其实妈妈以前也是一个花季少女”。影片最后，贾晓玲开着承诺给母亲的敞篷跑车，载着穿着时髦皮衣的母亲，脸上挂着盈盈笑意；可镜头一转，坐在身旁的母亲永久地消失了，贾晓玲也转喜为悲，在时间的赛道上，孤身一人独自向前。
“父母在，人生尚有来处，父母去，人生只剩归途。”那个你想要分享想要给予的人已经不在了，这是贾玲的遗憾，也是许多人心里的痛楚。而人生的另一面是，父母还健在的我们似乎也总是给不出他们真正想要的，一如影片中的贾晓玲很难让中年李焕英高兴。我们在人世间的爱，总有种种缺憾。或许可以在一部造梦的电影中得到暂时纾解，但当灯光打开，电影散场，一切似乎又回到原点。
和父母，越是相处越难相处
在访谈中贾玲说：“妈妈走了，这辈子的快乐都缺了一角。”以前觉得哭到心疼只是一种描述，但在创作剧本时，她想起母亲过往的种种，真的哭到心疼。贾玲说她所能给予观众的就是真诚，这一次，观众也收到了她的真诚。许多人看完影片后，或者拥抱身边的父母，或者给父母打个电话；观众纷纷表达，要更多珍惜和父母在一起的时光。
作为和贾玲同一年代出生的80后，我身边的女性要不早就结婚生子，要不就在职场上像贾玲一样事业开挂、乘风破浪。至今未婚的我，却常常陷入因为母亲逼婚而母女关系闹僵的苦恼。一个闺蜜说，她和母亲相处没什么冲突，其实是因为她小心回避，内心早已绝望到不敢去触碰伤口。影片中，穿越回去的贾晓玲和母亲成了同吃同睡的闺蜜，一起往脸上贴黄瓜片、逛街，喝小酒。这样的关系，羡煞旁人。
现实世界的我们，要不就因为原生家庭的伤害，和父母沟通时一直杠来杠去的，要不就因对方以爱之名想要操纵我们的人生而跳起脚来，要不就陷入家庭次序的错位和三观差距导致的种种问题当中。穿越回去和年轻母亲做闺蜜的理想很美好，但现实总是很骨感。
我不知道如果贾玲的母亲没有去世，是否也会像我的母亲一样每逢春节就逼婚；我也不知道在贾玲成名前那段人生低谷中，母亲李焕英能否忍受得了女儿北漂的心酸，而不去撺掇贾玲回老家找一份稳定的工作结婚生子。在李焕英去世后，贾玲的姐姐贾丹取代了母亲的角色，她常常拿出为数不多的工资接济妹妹，却也曾对贾玲说出这番话：“你看你胖的，就你这样你能红吗？”甚至还恨铁不成钢地踹了妹妹一脚。
荧屏里的李焕英对贾晓玲说：“我希望我的女儿健康快乐。”荧幕外，当我健康快乐的时候，母亲仍然为我大龄未婚、没有挣到钱而担忧。影片中，贾晓玲内心总是胶着于“如果我妈生的不是我，一定比现在更幸福吧”，她渴望让妈妈坐敞篷跑车，穿貂皮大衣，吃鲍鱼燕窝，给妈妈长脸。贾晓玲想把自己认为最好的东西给妈妈。李焕英却说：“我觉得我这辈子过得特别幸福，怎么就不相信我呢？”
影片的最后，穿越回去的李焕英，手拿鲜花，跳上爱人的自行车后座，喜悦满足地扬长而去。很多时候我们想要给的，不见得是人家真正想要的。无论电影内外，不管是1981年、2001年，还是2021年，似乎我们总是容易误解亲人所需要的爱，也很难给到对方真正需要的，甚至更难活出对方眼中那个理想的我们来。我们拼命地想给，我们拼命想抓住所爱的人，却总是弄巧成拙。
或者是比悲伤更悲伤的事情，如贾晓玲最后的惊觉，青春时代的李焕英其实就是中年穿越回来的李焕英时，她哭着跑着去找妈妈，但分离是注定的。她改变不了妈妈的命运，即使她愿意花上自己生命消失的代价；而李焕英也果断选择在未来见到贾晓玲，尽管这命运苦不堪言，但因为爱，她愿意。
我以前常常感到恐慌，害怕 “子欲养而亲不待”的遗憾落在自己身上。我很想努力奋斗为父母带来好的生活，也尝试花更多的时间陪他们，但越是相处就越难相处，我们永远都无法给予彼此理解和接纳。我的心像一只漂泊无定的小船，我只能拥抱自己的孤独，而这种孤独又加剧了活着的苦楚。
谁可以把缺憾填满？
我们无法改变别人，似乎更难改变自己。我们有爱，却不知如何正确地去爱；我们有爱，却很容易消耗殆尽。爱的缺失、错位或者缺憾，才是这个世界的常态。我们没有能力给出完全的爱，更没有能力把爱留住。这个世界的法则就是让我们不断地失去，让我们输。我们的爱，总是被世界偷窃太多，毁坏太多；我们里面的自私、狭隘和自以为是，又总是把爱扭曲。谁可以把这样的缺憾填满呢？谁可以帮助我胜过这个世界的法则呢？
直到信主后，耶稣带来的平安进入我的心里，祂的话语让我发现世界的真相。后来母亲也信主了，我们母女拥有了新的关系——成为主里的姊妹。母亲不仅是我的母亲，也是和我一样有平等身份的神的女儿！当我的这位母亲姊妹仍然贪恋世界的钱财时，我不再和她争吵，而是为她的生命祷告。当我们的关系出现摩擦时，我知道这是我们彼此双方成长的垫脚石，倚靠神，祂会让我们更亲密。
影片中，中年李焕英在贾晓玲穿越之前就已经回到了1981年，当贾晓玲问她，“我来了你高兴吗？”她回答：“我高兴啊！”贾晓玲说：“我能让你更高兴。”李焕英看着女儿帮她买电视机，赶走小混混，为她争取改变命运的机会，她也为了让女儿高兴全力配合着。在台下观看贾晓玲表演时，她笑着笑着就哭了。李焕英的爱，爱得不动声色。当贾晓玲回忆母亲时，她想起自己第一次出远门上学的情景，母亲把她送上车后，假装坐车回家，却在女儿走后又从车上下来，为了省钱，独自走在白茫茫的大雪天。
有观众留言说，看电影时觉得是女儿爱母亲，看完了才明白是母亲更爱女儿。而天父上帝的爱，却是差派祂的独生爱子耶稣，放下自己原本拥有的一切，独自走向因为罪而充满痛苦、遗憾、丑恶的人间，将自己无辜的生命献上，被人钉死在十字架上，作为有罪之人的赎价，让凡是相信祂的人可以重新回到天父爱的怀抱中。
祂应许：“复活在我，生命也在我；信我的人，虽然死了，也必复活。凡活着信我的人必永远不死。”我不再惧怕死亡和父母的分离，我知道我和母亲都是世上的客旅，将来有一天会在祂那里重逢。神就像一位老父亲一样，倚门而立，翘首眺望，等着祂的儿女们回家。
Testimony…
Listen for 11 min
If Christ is not resurrected, what we preach is in vain, and what you believe is in vain, [1 Corinthians 15:14]
Easter is preceded by Passover, and the Qingming Festival is preceded by Cold Food Festival. The Cold Food Festival seems to have similarities with the Passover, one is not allowed to make a fire, and the other is not allowed to make a face. But the difference, of course, is more and greater.
Just like Easter and Qingming Festival, the similarities are only that the dates are close, and this year it is the same day. Other than that, it’s completely irrelevant.
The Meaning of the Qingming Festival
Because the meaning of the Qingming Festival is mainly “death”.
This is a day when you have to “face death.” On this day, people will worship their ancestors and visit tombs, clearly facing the fact that “everyone has one death”.
Last Monday, my wife’s cousin died of drunk driving. We were the first to go. What surprised me the most was that for a whole day, none of the relatives and friends I saw shed a single tear, including his wife and his father. Only his mother and sister seemed to have red eyes. For the first time, I seemed to realize that, in a sense, the world seemed to be “stronger” than us. They are certainly afraid of death, but the way they fight this fear is more likely to be numbness than tears.
The police found his mobile phone, but could not unlock the password. His widow called the child’s teacher and asked her ten-year-old son to answer and ask for the password. The password is 518518.
This should be a homonym for “I’m going to send it, I’m going to send it”. He has been working part-time for years, rarely at home, trying to earn money outside the home. But he loves to drink, drives after drinking and does not listen to advice. Until this accident, leaving orphans and widows, elderly parents.
People who are numb to death really sometimes seem to be not afraid of death and dare to die. In order to “fa”, desperately.
But this also shows another meaning of the Qingming Festival, which is “timely happiness”.
As the Scriptures say: If the dead do not rise again, let us eat and drink! Because tomorrow is going to die. 1 Corinthians 15:32
In the face of a mortal ending, if there is no hope of salvation and resurrection, it must be the most reasonable choice to talk about life and death and enjoy pleasure in time. Therefore, in addition to ancestor worship and tomb sweeping, since ancient times, the Qingming Festival has also had customs such as planting willows and wearing willows, spring swimming, tree planting, flower picking, kicking, kite flying, swinging, tug-of-war, cockfighting, giving painted eggs, and eating Qingtuan. And the “Book of Rites and Moon Order” recorded: “In the moon of mid-spring, men and women will be ordered, and those who run cannot help it.” Timely pleasure has been the real theme of the Qingming Festival since ancient times, and today’s small long holiday is also proof of this.
But the meaning is still the same. Although it is bleak and soul-broken, what can be done? Let’s have three or five bottles, you can relieve your worries, you can forget your worries because tomorrow you will die, so there is wine and drunk today. Du Mushi is not Pastor Du after all.
The meaning of Good Friday
This year’s Easter and Qingming Festival are on the same day, which is worth noting. As many people know, Christmas and the Sun God Festival in ancient Rome were the same day.
Just as Christmas replaced pagan holidays, Easter needs to replace and renew Qingming Day. The meaning of Qingming Day needs to be reflected, and the meaning of Easter needs to be revealed. This is the latest meaning of “anti-Qing and restoration”.
The meaning of Easter begins with Passover and even Christmas.
We are familiar with the incarnation of Jesus and the crucifixion, acknowledging its mystery and greatness without thinking. But just as distance often produces beauty, “familiarity” often deconstructs the sacred.
Therefore, strange and archaic descriptions are often divine rigidity.
In fact, Jesus was utterly “humble to life, shame to die.” Although he was a king of heaven, he was born in a barn and had no bed, so he could deal with it by laying some grass in the manger. He fell into the grass as king.
Later, as a prophet, Jesus rose to fame far beyond that of Pharisees and scribes. But he spoke amazingly, often claiming to be God, and he was killed. The ancient Chinese people are cloudy, and it is not humiliating to kill a soldier. Jesus, on the other hand, was first humiliated and then killed. Punched in the face, slapped in the face by thick phlegm. Wearing a crown of thorns and a purple robe, people play like monkeys. Covered in scales, naked, not even the last fig leaf kept. The Duan players burst into laughter under the ten: “You come down!” “O great Savior, save yourself first,
His death, slow and painful, was extremely undignified and extremely shameful. Archaeologists have found an “Alexanémnon graffiti” depicting a man with a donkey’s head on ten racks. Written crookedly below: This is the God that Alexammenon worships. Yes, people at the time were so satirical about Christians, thinking that the god they worshipped was like a stupid donkey.
The gospel of anti-Qing and restoration
This is how our most glorious God endured humiliation. We are indeed worshipping a God of shame and failure. So today some people on the Internet say that our god is no different from a plate of flying pasta and that we believe in the flying god face religion, which is actually much more polite than the jokers and soul painters of the past.
As nominalists in a sense, I believe that Christ is free to become flesh as He sees fit. For example, become a lion in the world of Narnia, and become the number seven of the Yangtze River on the screen. So this kind of malicious humiliation, in fact, does not humiliate me, it will only make me more grateful. Because my Lord died for me, even for those drummers and keyboard warriors. He endured the humiliation and punishment we should have endured. That’s exactly what we believe.
Yes, from the perspective of an unbeliever, Jesus was a complete loser. This is not surprising, this is the result and cause of their being unbelievers. Recently, I was surprised to hear that a self-proclaimed pastor said in a righteous manner that Chengdu fat man: He has all gone in, can’t he explain the problem? Doesn’t it mean that he just has a problem?!
Oh. Then Jesus not only went in but also hung up, you know? If you judge justice by success or failure, what Christ do you worship? He failed much more than the fat man. You should worship the strong, worship the victorious Buddha, or the blood-red war wolf.
As for me and my family, in our church, we still worship Jesus.
We believe that he is a great savior, far more than Dongfang Hong. The “incarnation” reveals that Jesus is like God. That is, God is like Jesus. God loves us. He is a merciful Savior, not a dictatorial tyrant. He sees us as fish, not fish.
The early Christians also used the word “fish” to represent our faith. Because the Greek word for fish happens to be an abbreviation of the words “Jesus Christ, Son of God, Savior.”
The gospel of anti-Qing and restoration
They may not be as comprehensive and profound in their theology, and they are all wild Reformed in today’s sense, but they truly love Jesus. They knew that Jesus was their lifesaver. They never knew Jesus from a logical and rational point of view. Like the writers of the New Testament, they did not hesitate to address this lifesaver by the four-character holy name “Lord.” They love Him, and He loves them.
The meaning of Easter
But how did all this happen, from shame to glory, from loser to savior, from humble prisoner to the Most High God?
That’s what Easter is all about.
If the story ends on Friday, the world is scarier than Ragnarok. If history stays on Saturday, the world will have to wait for salvation in a heart-pounding rest.
However, the time was set for Sunday. The day of the Lord’s resurrection became a day of glory, a day of rejoicing, a day of victory, a day of worship—the day of all days.
The resurrection changed all mindsets. It is no longer spring when Easter comes, but Easter when spring comes. From then on, we no longer subconsciously think that there is a spirit in the flesh. Instead, it turns out that man is a spirit, and this spirit has a skin bag. Since then, the covenant has been reinterpreted and history completely renewed.
Easter was as if the prisoners in the prisoner-of-war camp heard over the wall on their short-wave radios that the Nazis of the East had been defeated by the atomic bomb. So they rejoiced, knowing that they had won, even though they were prisoners, even though they would even be killed at once by their angry and corrupt enemy. But they still have to rejoice, knowing that their salvation is coming.
After the resurrection of the Lord, the meaning of “law” is renewed. Until then, there had never been a concept in the Jewish faith that man would rise in this world. Martha’s words are a representation. The resurrection of Jesus is a new and difficult event for all to accept.
This first time, the first Jesus who rose from the dead and never died, expanded the library of standard definitions of “law” and updated the underlying source code of “law”.
Chesterton said that believers receive miracles because there is evidence, and unbelievers deny miracles because their dogma denies miracles.
In other words, the dogmatic system in the brains and hearts of unbelievers is made of old leather bags, and the new wine of the gospel causes their systems to crash and their memories to overflow.
The meaning of resurrection is similar, but far beyond heliocentrism, relativity, quantum mechanics, and gravity. Since then, the two natures of god and man have changed the world and mankind more deeply and comprehensively than the wave particle two elephants.
So each Sunday is essentially a continuation of the first Easter, and the core is “to commemorate the resurrection of the Lord and worship the resurrected Lord.”
After the resurrection of the Lord, the meaning of “history” is renewed. The apostles, touched by the Christ-glorifying Spirit, tell us that the risen Jesus is the first fruit, and at the end of the day, all will be resurrected in order, after which Christ will be victorious, kingdom, and glorified, and finally, we will be with Him and be King together (1 Corinthians 15:22-25).
After the resurrection of the Lord, the meaning of faith is renewed. The paradigm of faith shifted, from a Deuteronomy system (but with Christ) to a Christian system (but with the fulfillment of the law). Jesus’ conversation with his disciples on the road to Emmaus describes this shift:
Jesus said to them, “What are you talking about when you walk with each other? They just stood still, with sad faces on their faces. Luke 24:17
The paradigm shift is the shift in focus, and from then on the core of the faith becomes the “resurrection.” Paul says:
If Christ is not resurrected, what we preach is in vain, and what you believe is in vain, [1 Corinthians 15:14]
After the resurrection of the Lord, the life of the believer is renewed.
Peter, who denied the Lord three times, the mean, weak, rude fisherman, received the command “You shepherd my sheep” three times before the risen Lord, and he did so.
Saul, who persecuted Christians, the fanatical, hard, and cunning scribe, became Paul before the risen Lord. He received the mission of the gospel and did it.
Countless believers whose lives have been changed by the resurrection of the Lord, as written in the Scriptures:
When we die in trespassing, we are brought alive with Christ (it is grace that you are saved). Ephesians 2:5
Even Easter directly renews the status of women. Today’s Christianity has inexplicably become the enemy of women’s rights, but it has always been the greatest driving force for the liberation of women. In ancient Rome, women’s testimonies were unacceptable in court, but the four Gospels consistently state that it was women who saw the risen Jesus first. The Holy Spirit ignored worldly standards and declared these women’s testimonies not only valid but earlier than men’s.
However, the most important reason why Easter should and has prevailed over Qingming is that after the resurrection of the Lord, the meaning of death is renewed.
Henceforth, death is no longer the supreme power:
For knowing that Christ rose from the dead, He would no longer die and would no longer be His Lord. Romans 6:9 And death no longer meant the misery and terror of yin and yang, Paul says:
If we believe that Jesus died and rose again, God will bring those who have slept in Jesus with Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 4:14
Those relatives and friends who slept first in the Lord, loved ones, will bring them to us and pick us up when we die. Then everyone went home together.
This is our communication on WeChat before our dear teacher Huo died:
The gospel of anti-Qing and restoration
For me, he left us for heaven, just as he used to leave us for America. The small difference is that Heaven does not use WeChat, so we can no longer communicate for the time being. But in a short time, we will meet. At that time, we will remember the Changchun Church together and remember the past of the earth.
Exhortation
So, this Qingming Day and Easter, I would like to exhort you:
No shame
I am not ashamed of the gospel; This gospel was meant to be the power of God to save all who believed, first the Jews and then the Greeks. Romans 1:16
Do not be ashamed of the gospel, do not be ashamed of Christ. It is a fact that He has suffered the greatest shame, and it is even more true that He has now received the greatest glory. He is my glory, so I am no longer swayed by other people’s opinions. Do not fear dishonor in Jesus’ name. Rest assured, if you don’t deserve it yet, you won’t. Don’t be afraid of other people’s strange eyes and judgments, pray when you eat, no matter if there are people or how many there are. Preach the gospel when you should, whether you know it or not. You invite as you should, even if the other person rejects you seventy or seven times.
The secret is: that as long as you are not embarrassed, it is they who are embarrassed. The day when they are not embarrassed, you will have them in the Lord.
Do not burn paper
Brothers and sisters, we are already new, don’t go back to the old. It is written in the Scriptures:
Another disciple said to Jesus, “Lord, allow me to go back and bury my father first. 【Matthew 8:21】
So don’t celebrate the Qingming Festival again. Let Easter replace Qingming Day. It can be commemorated, not mourned. You can mourn in silence and do not bend your knees. You can have flowers, don’t burn paper.
No more fear of death
Resurrection gives true life, and true life must produce true courage. From now on, Christians are not afraid of death, but why should they fear death? If someone threatens to kill you, you can say That’s just right, thank you, I can finally stop all my toil. If he threatens us even more descendingly: Are you not afraid that your wife and children will suffer? I hope that then I will smile and say to him: I am not afraid, because I will see them again in the future. I hope to see you there too.
The resurrection gives true faith, and true faith must produce true hope. Job said, “I know that my Redeemer is alive and will stand on the earth in the end.” Job 19:25
A foreign brother spoke of his witness to Christ. Once he was on a plane, he encountered severe air currents and lightning, and after ten minutes of bumps, everyone’s hope of survival was extinguished. But he suddenly found that the old lady next to him was smiling and did not care. So he couldn’t help but stop the pen for writing his will and asked her why she was laughing. The old man said that I was going to see my daughter this time. I have two daughters, one on earth and one in heaven. I laughed at the thought of not knowing which daughter I would see first.
It was at that moment that he came to Christ.
In fact, the testimony of the old man is also the testimony of my family. When I fly home, I always think about whether I will see Jiawen Jialin Jiamin first or Jiahe first.
Twelve years ago, my wife and I asked five-year-old Jiahe, if you leave your parents and go, what will we do? He said, God will give you better children.
Today, his blessings and prophecies have been fulfilled. I don’t know if these kids are really better than him, but three are more than one. Two sisters and one younger brother have not met their angelic big brother, but I believe they will meet in the future. I believe so much, I hope so much, that I work hard for it, hoping to lead the whole family, the church, and “work of our salvation” in Christ (Philippians 2:12)
May we live in the rhythm of Easter instead of dying in the Qingming festival? Live in the joy and hope of the resurrection, not in the joy and despair of clarity. The meaning of clarity must be reflected, and the meaning of resurrection must be revealed. May the Lord have mercy on us and deliver us and our friends and relatives from the curse of clarity and the gospel of the resurrection.
The gospel of anti-Qing and restoration
2nd floor singing (God’s unexpected peace, will be in Christ) Posted on 2021-5-7 08:33 Just look at this person
Grace 365 | May 7 Prophet of the Times – Jeremiah: God has love in his heart
Ko Shaun’s Daily Grace today
Scripture: If I can speak the tongue of all men and the words of angels, but without love, I will be like a gong and a cymbal. (1 Corinthians 13:1)
Grace 365, three hundred and sixty-five days, we live together every day in God’s love and God’s grace.
These days I will share with you what kind of person God uses. If you’re a company boss and you go to interview some people who are coming to apply, you probably have some conditions. You see, how is this person’s language ability? What about this person’s ability to coordinate with others? What are the professional conditions of this person? Can he work in a team with others…? If you’re a boss and you’re a supervisor, you probably have some conditions that you care about when you hire people. God also uses us, and God wants some of the qualities in us that He wants.
In Jeremiah’s body, these days we see what kind of person Jeremiah is. Jeremiah was in him, he had a lot of his timidity, he had a lot of his considerations, he had a lot of his own thoughts, but he was obedient to God. In the process of following the Lord to fulfill God’s trust in him, he will have doubts, and he will have times when he is afraid, but he chooses to keep walking even though I am afraid in me, I rely on the Lord. He didn’t stop halfway, ran away halfway, didn’t do it, no! He persevered.
I feel like I see myself a lot of the time in my talk about Jeremiah. In fact, I have this problem, I am the kind of encounter who does it smoothly, I do it desperately, but when I encounter some setbacks, especially when that setback may encounter some of the things in me that I care about the most, I may say, I don’t do it, don’t do it.
But Jeremiah was not. He encountered many great setbacks, and great difficulties, and may even endanger his life, but he chose to persevere for the Lord and persevere. What kind of people does God use, God uses obedient people, God uses people who persist for the Lord, and God uses people who shared yesterday and cared about. He doesn’t cry for himself, he doesn’t just care about himself, he cares about what God cares about. God wanted him to go, proclaim God’s warning to the Israelites, and then God would redeem him. Does he care about the Israelis? He cried many times for his country and for his people. I ask God to help us so that one of us cares and cares about what God cares.
And what’s behind the care? It’s love, love will care. I have two children and I love my kids very, very much, so I care about them. The happiest thing for me is to come home from a busy day of ministry, our family of four, I am with Qimei’s mother and two children. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as we are together, I am happy. Why? Because I want to see them, I care about them because I love them.
What kind of person does God use? I often talk to some young people in our church who are learning to serve, and everyone wants to say, Pastor Cole, teach me! Teach me how to preach, teach me how to govern, teach me how to. I often tell them that you can learn all these things, but the most important thing is, do you have love in your heart? It’s not indifferent, it’s not that I preach on stage very movingly, but I don’t really care about these people in the audience, I seem to be performing. I ask the Lord to help us, what kind of people does God use? With a person who has love in his heart.
To conclude with this passage, we can do many, many things without love, and without love, it is a gong ringing, a cymbal, only sound, no meaning. Pray that if we don’t have love, there is a very important connotation in it—love.
见证篇188.反清…
若基督没有复活，我们所传的便是枉然，你们所信的也是枉然，【林前15:14】
复活节之前是逾越节，清明节之前是寒食节。寒食节与逾越节好像有相似性，一个不准生火，一个不准发面。然而差异当然更多、更大。
就像复活节和清明节，相似之处不过是日期接近，今年更是同一天。除此之外，全不相干。
清明节的意义
因为清明节的意义主要是“死”。
这是一个你必须“面对死亡”的日子。这一天人们会祭祖、扫墓，清楚地面对“人人都有一死”这个事实。
上周一，我妻子的表妹夫因酒驾去世。我们第一时间过去。最让我惊讶的是，整整一天，我所见到的他的所有亲朋，没有一个人掉过一滴泪，包括他妻子，他父亲。只有他母亲和妹妹似乎红了眼圈。我似乎头一次意识到，某种意义上，世人似乎比我们“坚强”。他们当然畏惧死亡，但他们对抗这种畏惧的方式，除了眼泪，更可能是麻木。
警察找到了他的手机，却解不开密码。他的遗孀给孩子老师打电话，叫十岁的儿子接听，询问密码。密码是518518。
这应该是“我要发我要发”的谐音。他多年来一直打工，很少在家，努力在外赚钱。但是爱喝酒，酒后还开车，并且不听劝。直到这次出事，抛下孤儿寡妇，年迈父母。
麻木面对死亡的世人，真的有时候表现出来的似乎是不怕死，敢作死。为了“发”，不顾一切。
但这也正显明了清明节的另一个意义，就是“及时行乐”。
正如经上所说：若死人不复活，我们就吃吃喝喝吧！因为明天要死了。【林前15:32】
面对必死的结局，若没有得救和复活的盼望，讳谈生死、及时行乐一定是最合理的选择。所以除了祭祖、扫墓，清明节自古以来还有插柳戴柳、春游踏青、植树、采花、蹴鞠、放风筝、荡秋千、拔河、斗鸡、赠画蛋、吃青团等习俗。并且《礼记·月令》记载：“仲春之月，令会男女，奔者不禁”。及时行乐，自古以来是清明节真正的主旋律，今日的小长假亦是佐证。
但意义还是一样。虽然凄冷，断魂，但有什么办法？来个三五瓶吧，可以解忧，可以忘愁，因为明天要死了，所以今朝有酒今朝醉。杜牧诗毕竟不是杜牧师。
受难节的意义
今年的复活节和清明节在同一天，值得注意。正如很多人知道的，圣诞节和古罗马的太阳神节是同一天。
就像圣诞节取代了异教节日，复活节也需要取代、更新清明节。清明节的意义需要被反思，复活节的意义需要被显明。这是“反清复明”的最新意义。
复活节的意义，要从逾越节甚至圣诞节说起。
耶稣的道成肉身、十架受难我们耳熟能详，不假思索就承认其奥妙与伟大。然而正如距离常会产生美，“熟悉”，实际上常常会解构神圣。
所以，陌生而古旧的描述，常常是神圣的刚需。
实际上，耶稣是不折不扣的“生的卑微，死的耻辱”。虽然是天国君王，却生在牲口棚里，床都没有，马槽铺点儿草就对付了。他落草为王。
后来作为先知的耶稣声誉鹊起，名声远超法利赛人和文士。但他语出惊人，常以上帝自居，于是惹来杀身之祸。中国古人云，士可杀不可辱。而耶稣的受死，却是先被辱后被杀。被啪啪打脸，被浓痰啐脸。头戴荆冠，身穿紫袍，让人当猴耍。遍体鳞伤，赤身裸体，连最后一块遮羞布都没能保留。段子手们在十架下爆笑：“你下来啊！”、“伟大的救主啊，你先救救你自己吧，哈哈哈哈哈……”
他的死亡，缓慢而痛苦，极不体面，极度羞耻。考古学家曾发现一处“亚历山门农涂鸦”，画的是十架上有个驴头人身的人。下边歪歪扭扭写着：这就是亚历山门农敬拜的神。是的，当时的人就这么讽刺基督徒，认为他们拜的神就好像一头蠢驴。
反清复明的福音
我们最荣耀的神，就是这样承受羞辱的。我们的确是在敬拜一位耻辱和失败的神。所以今天在网上有人说我们的神和一盘会飞的意大利面没什么区别，说我们信的是飞天神面教，这其实已经比当年的段子手和灵魂画师客气多了。
作为某种意义上的唯名论者，我相信，基督可以任意选择祂认为合适的方式成为肉身。比如在纳尼亚世界成为狮子，在银幕里成为长江七号。所以这种恶意羞辱，其实羞辱不到我，只会让我更加感恩。因为我的主是为我，甚至为那些段子手和键盘侠而死的。我们本该承受的羞辱和刑罚，祂承受了。我们所信的正是如此。
是的，从不信之人的角度看，耶稣是个十足的loser。这没什么奇怪，这是他们身为不信之人的结果和原因。最近我惊讶地听说，有自封为牧师的，正气凛然地说那个成都胖子：他都进去了，还不能说明问题吗？还不能说明他就是有问题吗？！
哦。那耶稣不但进去了，而且还挂了，你知道吗？如果你是以成败论正义的话，你拜什么基督呢？他比胖子失败多了。你应该去崇拜强者，去拜斗战胜佛或者血红战狼。
至于我和我家，我们教会，我们还是拜耶稣。
我们相信他是大救星，远超东方红。“道成肉身”启示我们，耶稣像上帝一样。就是说，上帝像耶稣一样。上帝爱我们。祂是慈仁救主，不是独裁暴君。祂视我们为鱼，不是鱼肉。
早期的基督徒也用“鱼”来代表我们的信仰。因为希腊文的鱼恰好是“耶稣基督，上帝之子，救主”几个词的缩写。
反清复明的福音
他们可能神学不那么全面深邃，在今天的意义上都是野生改革宗，但他们真挚地爱耶稣。他们知道，耶稣是他们的救命恩人。他们从不是单从逻辑和理性角度来认识耶稣的。他们也像新约的作者一样，毫不迟疑地以四字圣名“主”来称呼这位救命恩人。他们爱祂，祂爱他们。
复活节的意义
然而从耻辱到荣耀，从loser到救主，从卑微的囚犯到至高的上帝，这一切是怎么发生的？
这就是复活节的意义了。
故事如果结束于星期五，世界就比诸神的黄昏更可怕。历史如果停留在星期六，世界就还得在心惊肉跳的安息中继续等待救赎。
然而时间定在了礼拜天。主复活的日子，成了荣耀的日子，欢呼的日子，得胜的日子，敬拜的日子——一切日子的日子。
复活，改变了一切思维定式。从此不再是春天的时候复活节来了，而是复活节的时候，春天来了。从此我们不再下意识地认为，肉身的人里边有灵。而是发现，原来人是一个灵，这个灵有一具皮囊。从此圣约被重新诠释，历史被彻底更新。
复活节就好像，战俘营中的囚犯用私藏的短波收音机翻墙听到，东方的纳粹被原子弹击败了。于是他们欢呼，他们知道自己胜利了，尽管他们现在还是囚犯，尽管他们甚至会被气急败坏的仇敌立刻杀死。但他们仍要欢呼，因为知道救他们的就要来了。
主复活后，“规律”的意义被更新。在那之前，犹太人的信仰中从未有“人会在今世复活”这种概念。马大的话就是代表。耶稣的复活对所有人来说都是一个全新的、难以接受的事件。
这头一次发生的事，这头一位死而复活、永远不死的耶稣，扩充了“规律”的标准定义库，更新了“规律”的底层源代码。
切斯特顿说，信徒接受神迹是因为有证据，不信的人否认神迹是因为他们的教条否认神迹。
换句话说，不信之人脑子和心里的教条系统是用旧皮袋做的，福音的新酒使他们系统崩溃，内存溢出。
复活的意义相似但远超日心说、相对论、量子力学、万有引力。从此神人二性比波粒二象更深刻、更全面地改变了世界，改变了人类。
所以每个主日，本质上都是第一个复活节的延续，核心都是“纪念主的复活，敬拜复活的主”。
主复活后，“历史”的意义被更新。使徒被那荣耀基督的灵所感，告诉我们，复活的耶稣是初熟的果子，到了末了，众人按着次序都要复活，之后基督将要得胜、得国、得荣耀，最后我们与祂同在，一同为王（林前15:22-25）。
主复活后，信仰的意义被更新。信仰的范式转移了，从申命体系（但蕴含着基督）变为基督体系（但成全了律法）。耶稣在以马忤斯路上与门徒的谈话描述了这种转移：
耶稣对他们说：“你们走路彼此谈论的是什么事呢？”他们就站住，脸上带着愁容。【路24:17】
范式的转移就是焦点的转移，从此信仰的核心成了“复活”。保罗说：
若基督没有复活，我们所传的便是枉然，你们所信的也是枉然，【林前15:14】
主复活后，信徒的生命被更新。
三次不认主的彼得，这个卑鄙、软弱、粗鲁的渔民，在复活的主面前，三次领受“你牧养我的羊”的吩咐，并且做到了。
逼迫基督徒的扫罗，这个狂热、刚硬、狡诈的文士，在复活的主面前，成了保罗。他领受了福音的使命，并且做到了。
无数的信徒，生命被主的复活改变，如经上所记：
当我们死在过犯中的时候，便叫我们与基督一同活过来（你们得救是本乎恩）。【弗2:5】
甚至复活节直接让女性的地位被更新。今日的基督教莫名其妙成了女权的仇敌，但它其实从来都是解放女性的最大动力。古罗马时期，女人的见证在法庭上是不可被接受的，但四本福音书一致指出，是妇女先看到了复活的耶稣。圣灵毫不理会世俗的标准，宣布这些妇女的见证不但有效，而且比男人们的更早。
然而复活节之所以理应并且已经胜过清明节，最重要的还是因为：主复活后，死亡的意义被更新。
从此死亡不再是最高权势：
因为知道基督既从死里复活，就不再死，死也不再作他的主了。【罗6:9】
并且死亡不再意味着阴阳两隔的惨烈与恐怖，保罗说：
我们若信耶稣死而复活了，那已经在耶稣里睡了的人， 神也必将他们与耶稣一同带来。【帖前4:14】
那些在主里先睡了的亲朋好友，知心爱人，在我们死亡的时候，主会带他们来见我们，来接我们。然后大家一起回家。
这是我们亲爱的霍老师去世之前我们在微信的沟通：
反清复明的福音
对我而言，他离开我们去天国，正如他之前也常离开我们去美国。小小的区别是，天国不用微信，所以我们暂时不再能沟通。但再过不多时日，我们就要见面。那时我们要一同回忆长春教会，回忆地球往事。
劝勉
所以，在这个清明节和复活节，我要劝勉大家：
不以为耻
我不以福音为耻；这福音本是 神的大能，要救一切相信的，先是犹太人，后是希腊人。【罗1:16】
不要以福音为耻，不要以基督为耻。祂曾承受最大的耻辱，这是事实，祂如今得了最大的荣耀，这更是事实。祂是我的荣耀，所以我不再被别人的看法左右。不要怕会因耶稣的名受辱。放心，如果你还不配，你就不会。也不要怕别人异样的眼神和评价，你吃饭时该祷告就祷告，不管有没有人，有多少人。你该传福音就传福音，不管认不认识。你该邀请就邀请，哪怕对方拒绝你七十个七次。
秘诀就是：只要你不尴尬，尴尬的就是他们。等到他们也不尴尬的那一天，你就在主里得着了他们。
不要烧纸
弟兄姊妹，我们已经是新人，不要再做回旧人。经上记着说：
又有一个门徒对耶稣说：“主啊，容我先回去埋葬我的父亲。”【太8:21】
所以不要再过清明节了。让复活节取代清明节吧。可以纪念，不必祭奠。可以默哀，不可屈膝。可以鲜花，不要烧纸。
不再怕死
复活给人真生命，真生命一定产生真勇气。从此基督徒不畏死，奈何以死惧之？若有人威胁说要整死你，你完全可以说那正好，谢谢你，我终于可以息了我一切的劳苦。懵圈的他若更加下道地威胁我们：你不怕你老婆孩子受苦？我希望到时我能笑着对他说：我不怕，因为我将来还会再见到他们。我也希望在那里见到你。
复活给人真信心，真信心一定产生真盼望。约伯说：我知道我的救赎主活着，末了必站立在地上。【伯19:25】
一位国外弟兄讲过自己的信主见证。有一次他坐飞机，遇到了严重的气流和闪电，颠簸了十几分钟后，众人活命的指望就绝了。但他突然发现，邻座的老太太面带微笑，毫不在意。于是他忍不住停下了写遗嘱的笔，问她为什么笑。老人家就说，我这次是去看我的女儿。我有两个女儿，一个在地上，一个在天上。我一想到一会儿不知道会先看到哪个女儿，就笑了。
他就是在那一刻信主的。
实际上老人家的见证也就是我家的见证。我坐飞机回家的时候也总会想，不知这次是会先见到嘉雯嘉霖嘉旻，还是先见到嘉禾。
十二年前，我和妻子问五岁的嘉禾，如果你离爸爸妈妈而去了，我们怎么办？他就说，上帝会给你们更好的孩子。
如今，他的祝福和预言应验了。我不知道这几个孩子是否真比他更好，但三个的确比一个多。两个妹妹一个弟弟没有见过他们天使一般的大哥，但我相信他们将来会见到的。我如此相信，如此盼望，所以也为此努力，盼望能带领全家，带领教会，在基督里边“做成我们得救的工夫（腓2:12）”
愿我们从此活在复活节的节律中，而非死在清明节的节气中。活在复活的喜乐与盼望中，而非死在清明的行乐与绝望中。清明的意义必须被反思，复活的意义必须被显明。愿主怜悯我们，救我们和我们的亲朋好友脱离清明的咒诅，得着复活的福音。
反清复明的福音
2楼yingyinc (神所赐出人意外的平安，必在基督) 发表于 2021-5-7 08:33 只看此人
恩典365 | 5月7日 时代先知-耶利米：上帝用心中有爱的人
寇绍恩 每日恩典 今天
经文：我若能说万人的方言，并天使的话语，却没有爱，我就成了鸣的锣，响的钹一般。(林前13:1)
恩典365，三百六十五天，我们天天一起活在神的爱和神的恩典里。
这几天跟你分享上帝用一个什么样的人。如果你是一个公司的老板，你去interview一些要来应征的人，你大概有一些条件。你会看，这个人语文能力怎么样啦？这个人跟别人协调的能力怎么样啦？这个人的专业条件如何？他能不能跟别人一起团队合作… …？如果你是一个老板，你是一个主管，你大概有一些你用人的你在乎的条件。上帝也用我们，上帝也要我们里面有一些他要的特质。
在耶利米的身上，这几天我们看见，耶利米是一个什么样子的人。耶利米在他的里面，他有很多他的胆怯，他有很多他的考量，他有很多他自己的一些想法，但是，他顺服神。在跟随主去完成神对他的托付的过程里面，他会有质疑的时候，他也会有害怕的时候，但是，他选择即使我里面很害怕，我靠着主，我要坚持的走下去。他不是半途而废，半途跑掉了，不做了，不！他是坚持下去的。
我觉得我在讲耶利米的过程当中，很多的时候都看到我自己。其实我就有这个毛病，我就是那种遇到了我做得很顺的时候，我是拼了命的做，但是遇到一些挫折，特别那个挫折可能碰到我里面的一些我最在乎的事情的时候，我可能就说，我不干了，不做了。
但是耶利米不是。他碰到了很多很大的挫折、很大的困难，甚至可能危及性命，可是他选择为主坚持，坚持下去。神用什么样的人，神用顺服的人，神用为主坚持的人，神用昨天分享在乎的人。他哭不是为自己，他不是只在乎自己，他在乎神所在乎的。上帝要他去，向以色列人宣告神的警告，然后神要挽回。他在不在乎以色列人？他许多的时候哭是为他的国家，是为他的百姓。我求神帮助我们，让我们里面有一个在乎，在乎神所在乎的。
而在乎的背后是什么呢？就是爱嘛，爱就会在乎啊。我有两个孩子，我非常非常的爱我的孩子，所以我很在乎他们。我最快乐的事情就是忙完了一天的事奉回家，我们一家四个人，我跟琪玫师母、两个孩子在一起。做什么都没关系，只要在一起，我就很快乐。为什么？因为我想看到他们，我在乎他们，因为我爱他们。
上帝用一个什么样的人？是心中有爱的人，我常常和我们教会在学习事奉的一些年轻人讲，大家都很想说，寇牧师，教我吧！教我怎么讲道，教我怎么治会，教我怎么… …。我常常跟他们讲说，那些东西都可以学，可是最重要的一件事情就是，你心中有没有爱？不是冷漠的，不是我在台上讲道讲得很感动人，可是我里面其实根本不在乎台下这些人，我好像在作表演一样。我求主帮助我们，上帝用什么样的人？用一个心中有爱的人。
用这段经文作结束，若没有爱，我们可以做很多很多的事，若没有爱，就是鸣的锣、响的钹，只有声音，毫无内涵。求主帮助我们若没有爱里面有一个很重要的内涵——爱。
Testimony…
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Overtime culture prevails, how to work hard and enjoy life at the same time? Keller et al. Oak Word Studio
Which is more pleasing to God for Christians to work hard or enjoy life? It is believed that the instinct of many people is inclined to the former, otherwise, there would not be so many members of the Christian community who have been hastily swallowed up in spiritual life; But there must be many people who are more concerned about the latter, otherwise, there would not be so many people who have nothing to do on the grounds of retreating to the inner room to be quiet and close to God. Today’s two articles can help us have a clearer understanding of how to work hard and concentrate on and efficiently, and also return to rest peacefully and enjoy the abundant grace that God has bestowed upon us. May all of us learn not to be burdened by all kinds of work and not to spend our days idle!
In this way, all things in heaven and earth were created. On the seventh day, God finished His work; On the seventh day, God stopped all his work. God blessed the seventh day by sanctifying it because on this day God stopped all his work of creation and rested. (Genesis 2:1-3)
Six days of toil, do all your work. But the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God; On this day, you and your children, your servants and cattle, and the sojourners who dwell in your city shall not do any work. (Exodus 20:9-10)
The first thing the Bible begins with is work. It can be seen that work is very important and the basis of everything. The writers of Genesis regarded God’s creation of the universe as work and put the great work of creation in seven days of the week. He then shows us the work of humanity in the Garden of Eden. And we are also to realize that God Himself has rested after the work of creation (Gen. 2:2).
Many people mistake work for a curse and other things (rest, family, or even “spiritual” pursuits) as the only way to find meaning in life. Both from the biblical passages we have examined before and will be discussed later, we can see that this argument is nothing more than a lie.
But let’s also not fall into the other extreme, which is that work is the only important thing, and rest is forced to “recharge” in order to continue working. We see from God’s work in creation that God did not need to restore his strength but still rested on the seventh day (Gen. 2:1-3). Thus, for us who are created in His image, rest and everything we do while resting is good in itself and nourishes life.
Work is not the be-all of life. While life without work won’t be meaningful, work isn’t the whole meaning of life. If you see work as a purpose in life, even if it is church service, then you are creating an idol for yourself against God. A relationship with God is the most important cornerstone of life, and this cornerstone can keep everything else in your life (work, friendships, family, leisure) so important that it makes you addicted and distorted.
The twentieth-century German Catholic philosopher Josef Pieper wrote in his famous essay “Leisure, the Basis of Culture”: “Leisure is not just letting go of work, but an attitude of the mind, in which you can simply focus on and enjoy things themselves, without considering their value or immediate utility.” In Western culture, work-oriented thinking allows people to see everything only in terms of efficiency, value, and speed. But people must be able to enjoy the simplest and most ordinary things in life, even if some of them have no practical value but are only pleasant to the body and mind.
Even Calvin, a notoriously stern Reformationist, surprisingly agreed with this argument. Speaking about the Christian life, he warns us not to judge the value of things solely on the basis of practicality: “Doesn’t God make us happy and happy when He prepares food for us, not only when he is full (providing basic nourishment)? The clothes on our bodies not only keep us warm but also dress us up dignified. In addition to their own functions, grass, green trees, vegetables, and fruits are also pleasing to the eye and exude a refreshing fragrance. Isn’t it pleasing to the eye that God created things, in addition to giving them the necessary uses? ”
In other words, we should look at all this and marvel, “The heavens of the universe may be dazzling or beautiful, the creatures on earth may be large or small, and all things in the world may be wise or wonderful, all created by God the Father.” ”
Only by constantly stopping our work and spending time in worship (which Pepper considers worship to be the first thing in “leisure”) can we truly experience the meaning of life simply by meditating and enjoying the world, including the fruits of our work. Piper writes:Leisure is the state of thinking about things with joy – a positive state of mind. It’s not the same as taking a break from work – leisure is more like the occasional silence when lovers talk, and that silence is part of the conversation. As the Bible says, when God “rests in all his work,” He sees that everything He has created is fine (Gen. 1:31), so leisure allows one to focus pleasantly and approvingly on the nature of creation.
All in all, hard work is essential to live a meaningful life. Work is God’s most precious gift to us, a pillar of purpose in life. But we must put work in perspective and not put it above God. We have to stop working from time to time to recover our bodies, and at the same time enjoy this world and ordinary life.
Work passionately, but don’t sell your soul for it
Leland Reiken, The Puritans Who Entered the World
Another legacy of the Puritan view of work is the idea of moderate work. At the two extremes of the attitude to work (one extreme is extreme idleness or laziness; At the other extreme, slavishly indulged in work), the Puritans theoretically tried to maintain the middle way. But in practice, they often tend to overwork.
One modern interpretation of the Puritan work ethic is correct—the Puritans despised idleness and praised hard work, and Baxter often showed impatience on the issue of idleness, saying, “It is despicable and sinful not to work.” Robert Bolton called idleness “the rusty, long ulcer of the soul.”
In his influential book, The Ordinary Man’s Way to Heaven, Arthur Dent wrote, “God does not allow anyone to live idle. Elizabeth Joselyn wrote in The Mother’s Gift to the Unborn Child: “You are a man, and you are ashamed of idleness; You are a Christian and are anxious for idleness. It is clear from these statements that Puritan ethics held that work was not only a social obligation but also an individual responsibility.
The Puritans criticized idleness while appreciating hard work, not because hard work was an intrinsic virtue, but because it was the means God assigned to mankind to provide for what they needed. Baxter wrote: “God commands you to somehow earn daily meals. Thomas Wattson envisioned: “Religion does not seal human idleness—God assigns all his children to work—and God blesses us for our diligence, not laziness.” ”
The Puritans had a strong aversion to idleness and praised work, in part because they were convinced that labor was the work that creation was ordained to do and that it was therefore necessary for the good of mankind. William Perkins wrote, “Adam could do whatever he wanted before he sinned, but God let him work.” In John Robinson’s view, “God allowed our first fathers to labor even in sinlessness—much less to let sinful human descendants live idle lives.” Man is destined to work hard – both physically and mentally, like a spark flying upwards. ”
Baxter writes, “Adam the sinless was placed in the Garden of Eden to govern the garden; In the flesh, both body and soul must have work to do. Work is both created and ordained to be done recognizing that labor itself and its response to God are honorable.
The Puritans believed that even “spiritual” was not an excuse for idleness. Richard Steele objected to “neglecting human necessity under the pretext of religious worship.” Thomas Shepard advises a religious fanatic who complains that thoughts about godly matters distract him from his work: “It is a sin to have earthly thoughts when God has appointed you to do spiritual, heavenly work; Similarly, from a certain point of view, when God has assigned you to work on earth, it is also sin to distract you and think about spiritual things. ”
But then, does the puritan ethic inevitably lead to workaholic syndrome? The Puritans thought otherwise. They try to find a balance for their diligence by explicitly limiting overwork. Their ideal is still moderation.
John Preston said: “Be careful not to overdo things, and not to work in detail and without restraint. Philip Stubbs cautioned that “every Christian should not allow “him to overwork before God” and “exceed the limits of true godliness.” Moreover, “the Lord does not allow us to be greedy or to work without restraint; We should not worry about tomorrow today, because one day of difficulty is enough. ”
Robert Woodrow, a Scottish theologian, commented: “I humbly believe that we have been too partial to work and neglected more valuable things, and such sins will be recorded in our verdicts.” ”
On the subject of “part-time,” Richard Steele points out that one should not “work two or three jobs just to increase one’s wealth.”
The goal of the Puritans was not to go to extremes and to conform to the middle way. Working passionately, but not selling their souls to work, is what they strive for. John Preston put it this way: “If you have pure love, then you can do all the things of the world without being defiled; But when you covet anything too much, it defiles your soul. ”
Neither idle nor workaholic, this middle-way idea is also John Cotton’s ideal:
In every living saint, there is a strange combination of two virtues, namely: on the one hand, diligence in the affairs of the world, and on the other hand, death to the world; The parties to this mystery will know, but others will not know. Although he worked diligently in the calling of heaven, his heart was not focused on these things; When he gets his belongings, he knows what to do with them.