19. Losing My Beloved Wife on the Way Home. When did God take away what we loved most?

“You will prepare their hearts and listen to their pleas.” [Psalm 10:17]

Jacob looked at his two sons as if they were strangers. Their eyes blazed with beast-like fury, their facial muscles twisted from the pleasure of revenge, their swords stained with filthy blood, their bodies covered in fresh blood, exuding a bloody stench.

Haven’t they followed me in herding cattle and sheep since childhood? Weren’t they always living a harsh but peaceful pastoral life? Haven’t they never seen violence? How could such terrifying beastliness erupt within them! Why did they strike so viciously against the entire city without consulting anyone?

God, why do you allow such a heavy burden to weigh on my shoulders? Is it because my sins are too many? Why did you put me in such a desperate situation? Is it my own fault? Look, my Northeast is my uncle, who just escaped twenty years of exploitation.

Southeast is my brother, perhaps his lingering resentment toward me has not yet faded. I’m surrounded by foreigners. They’ll soon hear that Shijian was slaughtered today, and they’ll definitely besiege us old, weak, women, and children.

God, you crippled my thigh earlier, but even if I can run for my life like a young man today, where else can I run? Even if I could escape now, I absolutely wouldn’t, because my beloved wife Rachel is pregnant, and I will never abandon her.

Early the next morning, while Jacob was praying alone in his tent, God said to him, “Get up, go up to Bethel, and stay there; You shall build an altar there for God, the one who appeared to you when you fled from your brother Esau. Jacob stepped out of his tent and looked south; dozens of miles away was Bethel.

Decades ago, I hurriedly fled there, under the starry sky, dreaming of a god standing on the heavenly ladder. Is the pillow stone he honored still standing there? Wasn’t the wish he made back then been fulfilled by God today? Didn’t I promise back then, ‘I will make the Lord my God’? God, you are the God of my ancestor and my father, and also my God.

I shouldn’t have lingered in Shechem for years for money, but the children were influenced by the religion here. I brought misfortune to my daughter and brought disaster to the people of Shechem, and I forgot your command to return to my father’s house. God, please lead me again. Jacob called all his family members and said to them, “Remove the idols of the foreigners among you. Cleanse yourselves and change your clothes.” We are going to set out and go up to Bethel; There I will build an altar to God, the one who answered my call in my troubles and walked with me on my path. ”

The sons looked at their father’s serious expression, obediently took off their earrings and the various statues hanging on their bodies, and handed them to Jacob. The family set out in the morning light, and Jacob let Rachel sit on the steadiest camel, as she was heavily pregnant. The danger of the Sword Display made her extremely nervous, with unusually frequent movements. On the way out, she kept her husband by her side, fearing an ambush.

She had been chased twice with her husband before, and was already like a startled bird. But no one pursued the surrounding towns, because God had placed trembling in their hearts. Bethel arrived, still a wilderness, the night sky as brilliant as it was decades ago. Jacob found the pillow stone he had set upright, and lay down again on the flat boulder beside him, as if returning to the night it had been.

Under the starry sky, God appeared to Jacob again and said, “Your name is Jacob, but do not call it Jacob anymore; Israel is your name.” God repeated His promise to Jacob from those years: “I am Almighty God. You will multiply and multiply; one kingdom and many nations will come from you, and many kings will come from you.”

I will give you the land I gave to Abraham and Isaac, and I will give it to your descendants. “Yes, the land where Father lives is Bethlehem, Hebron, and Beersheba—the place where I grew up, and I will return.

Moreover, his wife Rachel was about to give birth at any moment and could not stay in the wilderness, but had to hurry to a city. Jacob set out again, heading south. By noon, the walls of Bethlehem were clearly visible. Rachel, sitting on a camel, suddenly groaned in pain. Jacob saw that the place where she was sitting was wet and knew her water had broken.

He immediately stopped the convoy, had the women’s families set up temporary tents, and had the midwife help Rajiel inside. Jacob waited outside the tent and heard his wife’s painful groans. Time stretched on like a leak; the sun gradually set in the west, while his wife’s moans grew quieter. Jacob didn’t know if this was good or bad; he was anxious inside but helpless.

Suddenly, the midwife shouted loudly, “Don’t be afraid, you’ve had another son.” Jacob heard the baby’s cry and hurried into the tent. Rachel’s face was pale, his hair soaked with sweat, and the mattress beneath him was soaked with blood. Her beautiful eyes were weak and vacant, gazing at her husband with affection, as if she had met him by the well for the first time more than twenty years ago.

She knew she couldn’t walk with him any longer, and she couldn’t be gentle and considerate with him at night. She looked at the baby in Jacob’s arms and softly said, “I am a grieving child.” Looking at her husband again, he closed his beautiful eyes forever. Jacob cried out loudly; he had never cried like this before, nor would he ever again. His beloved Ragel left him early, and his longing remained deeply hidden in his heart, only mentioned again before his death.

He looked at the posthumous child in his arms and saw Rajiel’s eyes and face. Jacob found comfort in his pain, and through tears, gently called him: “Benjamin” (meaning the son of my right arm). Jacob looked up to heaven and prayed to God: “God, do I have to pay such a great price for every step I take?”

Among my sons, only a few have just come of age, and some servants who only know how to shepherd sheep. How could I possibly rescue my own daughter? How could I bear this humiliation? Jacob looked around; Leah and Raziel were sitting on the ground, already crying uncontrollably. He hurriedly sent a servant to call back the sons of the shepherd.

As the sun set in the west, Jacob’s ten sons sat with their father in the tent. Their faces turned ashen with anger, gritting their teeth tightly, yet saying nothing. Opposite them sat Hamo and his son Shejian, who had just arrived. Hamoh said to Jacob, “My son Shechem loves your daughter. Please marry her to my son as his wife.” Your sons and our daughters may marry among themselves. Let’s live together! Look, the ground is all here

Before you, you live here and buy and sell property. “As soon as the father finished speaking, Shejian continued, “May I find favor in your eyes. Whatever you ask of me, I will give you.”

No matter how many burdens and gifts you ask me for, I will give you as you say; Just give Tina to me as my wife. Jacob still hesitated in silence. In the silence, Jacob’s second son, Simeon, suddenly said calmly, “If you want to marry my sister, there is only one condition: you and all the men in the city must undergo circumcision.”

Because marrying my sister to a nation that does not allow circumcision is an intolerable shame for us. As soon as Simeon finished speaking, the third son Levi also spoke loudly: “Only by doing this will we marry into you, and our property will be as if it were your own.”

If you do not perform circumcision, we will have no choice but to leave here with our sister. Jacob still said nothing, but his other sons responded together. Shijian listened and exchanged a knowing glance with his father. He hadn’t expected things to go so smoothly. To take Tina for himself first, of course they didn’t dare do anything. But they never expected that with just a simple circumcision, all the cattle and sheep in their family would gradually fall into their hands.

They stifled their smiles and agreed in unison to perform a citywide circumcision the very next day. The next day, Tina was still trapped at Shechem’s house, being ravaged by him. In the evening, Jacob heard the exact news: sure enough, all the men in Shechem had been circumcised.

On the third day, Shijian City was unusually quiet, with not a single man in sight on the streets. On the morning of the fourth day, the city was even quieter. The men lay in bed covered in blood, exhausted by the men’s temper and their actions.

Jacob had been exhausted for several days, feeling sorry for his daughter but helpless, so he could only pray silently in his heart. That morning, he left the tent a bit late due to fatigue. The sun was already two poles high, and he couldn’t help but look toward Shejian, where his daughter, whom he hadn’t seen for four days, was.

Just as he stepped out of the tent, he saw his second son Simeon and third son Levi running toward him, each holding a long sword, their bodies as if splashed by a rain of blood, exuding the stench of blood. Behind them stood the haggard Tina. Jacob was shocked and asked his two sons, “How could you do this?” How is Tina here? “We’ve killed every man in the city!” They deserve to bully us! Serves them right for humiliating my sister.

The two of us took advantage of their weak bodies after their circumcision. Early this morning, we went into the city, starting from the house of Shechem, killing every man, house by house. This is to repay Shijian’s evil deeds! Jacob heard this and couldn’t help but feel a chill down his spine.