Testimoni…
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My family
My family is a missionary family, and both parents are very devout Christians. I grew up attending Sunday school, attending Sunday services, and daily family services. Sometimes I was so unhappy that I could barely sit and listen to the long sermon, but before I knew it, I had absorbed a lot of the Lord’s teachings. Even after I married Mr. Jiang, I didn’t have a second birth. I intellectually believe in the divinity of Christ, and I believe that Jesus came into the world to redeem sinners, but that doesn’t matter to me personally. Although he died for me, and for the people of the world, this fact has no special meaning for me. As for sin, everyone is a sinner, and I will never be worse than the average man!
The first spiritual turnaround
My mother’s relationship with the Lord was not like this, she lived a life very close to God, and she used to spend hours in prayer and fellowship with the Lord. At that time, whenever we were in trouble, we always asked her to pray for us.
My mother’s death was a great blow to each of her children, but perhaps the hardest blow to me, for I was her youngest daughter, and I relied on her more than I ever knew.
At that time, in addition to the threat of Japanese aggression, Mr. Chiang added another burden, that is, to put an end to the civil strife in the country at that time. At the same time, the Yellow River overflowed, and a large number of people were threatened with famine. Over the years, I have worked closely with Mr. Chiang to achieve his goal of building a unified and modern China. At this time, I was disheartened and almost despaired by many difficulties, but my mother was no longer in the world and could not pray for us every day. What should I do? Who can I turn to for help? Looking back now, I understand that this was my first spiritual turnaround.
Before Mr. Chiang married me, he promised my mother a Bible study, and he faithfully kept that promise. Before my mother died, she led Mr. Chiang to the official conversion. Later, he continued to study the Bible on his own every day to understand the complex truths of the Old Testament, which was a difficult task, because few pieces of Bible history could be appreciated by someone who had not grown up in a Christian environment. When I saw him trying to find out in the midst of difficulties, I knew I should help him, as my mother had always done.
When I was a student at Wesleyan University in the United States, I took a course called “Old Testament History.” So I used my old notes and textbooks and began to have a daily Bible study with him, and we still maintain this Xi to this day. Every morning at 6:30 a.m., we prayed, read the Bible, and discussed each other’s experiences. Every night before going to bed, we also prayed together.
Woman guardsman
In 1936, Mr. Chiang was abducted by his subordinates in Xi’an. At that time, it turned out that this spiritual Xi every morning was a stone that supported and strengthened him. Although he was in terrible mental anguish, in danger of dying at any moment, and because of the fall on his body during the disaster, he was very safe during that period of abduction. His captors kept him in solitary confinement for ten days, preventing him from communicating with the outside world. At that time, the whole world was shocked, and the people of the whole country demanded that his captors immediately release him safely.
Later, I finally managed to get on a plane to Xi’an, with him. When his captor allowed me to meet him, he was amazed as if he had seen a ghost. When he had calmed down, he showed me a Bible that he had read that morning: “The LORD hath made a new thing on the earth, that women are guarding men. 【Jeremiah 31:22】No wonder he and I have been so faithful to this day
God’s entrustment
In 1949, when the situation in China changed, and soon after I arrived in Taiwan, I felt that God had called me to organize a prayer group. At the time, I was terrified of it. I felt very uncomfortable and tried to evade this responsibility. I was afraid that my friends would think I was overly religious, just as I had thought of my mother before. Isn’t it strange that most of us are naturally silent about our love for family or friends, but we are the least willing to be known about our devotion to Christ! For it is only by repeatedly affirming our faith that we can maintain a living love.
So I invited five friends, all of whom were devout Christians, to my new home. I told them that from that day on I wanted to have a prayer meeting. I mentioned the promise of Jesus Christ that if two or three men gather together in His name, He is in the midst of them. If they agree, we can pray together for the fate of China and the world.
Chinese Women’s Prayer Society
Since then, we have held prayer meetings every Wednesday afternoon for five years without interruption. In the beginning, we had to overcome a feeling of unease in which we were all shy at first, some of us who had never prayed out loud in public, and friends who had always known each other suddenly became strangers to God. But God finally took charge of leading the meeting, giving the Holy Spirit a real presence with us, filling the room from time to time.
Every year at Easter, our prayer service holds a Good Friday service, which is broadcast on TV. We highlight the events that took place after Jesus’ crucifixion, when the apostles, except Judas Iscariot, who hanged himself in shame, became veritable spiritual greats with amazing leadership skills. Although they were persecuted and tormented, they preached the gospel everywhere and fought for the kingdom of righteousness. Far from being scattered like a flock of lost sheep without a shepherd, these very few Christians formed a tightly knit and invincible community, so much so that they were outweighed by the power of the entire Roman Empire under terrible oppression. Why can’t we be like them with zealous and fearless, but timid, lifeless Christians who don’t even know what they believe?
The Gospels record that during His work, Jesus Christ often had to leave the crowd to fellowship with God the Father. He did it not only alone, but also with his disciples. As he is the Son of God, and as he needs prayer to renew his spiritual power, it is only natural that we need to pray all the more—to pray together, to pray aloud, to pray with urgent zeal and desire for God’s will to be done.
Each of us takes turns leading the weekly prayer meetings. The meeting usually begins with two minutes of silent prayer, followed by the singing of a few favorite hymns, followed by a reading of a passage by the presiding person and her personal spiritual testimony of the passage, followed by a public discussion of the topic. After that, each of the participants proposes to pray for something or someone in particular. We knelt down religiously, and two or three of us prayed in turn, as the Holy Spirit led. We don’t have a set routine, because we feel that spontaneity and variety of changes are more likely to arouse our enthusiasm. However, at the end of each time, we will pray for the future of China and world peace according to God’s will.
Experience the baptism of the Holy Spirit
In one of the first meetings, a presiding officer asked everyone who had experienced the presence of the Holy Spirit to raise their hands, and I didn’t raise my hands. It wasn’t until later that I came to know the Holy Spirit who dwelt in me. The facts are as follows:
One day, I was reading a passage about the crucifixion of the Lord, and I stopped when I read that a soldier had stabbed him in the side with a spear, and blood and water were coming out of the wound. I’d read it many times before, and I’d never been particularly moved, but this time I cried. That day, for the first time, I realized that he had suffered these pains for me. I cried and cried, and I felt deeply unworthy of my humility. It was a very peculiar feeling, a mixture of great sorrow and great comfort. I rarely cried because we grew up Xi not show our emotions. But that time the tears flowed like a tide, and I couldn’t hold back. At the same time, I felt a light and relieved feeling that my sins had been washed away by tears.
On that occasion, I experienced the baptism of the Holy Spirit, and from that day on, I did not believe only in my mind, but personally connected with my Lord. “If any man be in Christ, he is a new creation, and the old things have passed away, and they have become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17
My view of religion
My personality does not like the mysterious, but I love the practical, the things that can be seen in the world, I believe it, otherwise I don’t believe it, and I may not also admit what others admit, in other words, the religion that suits my father may not necessarily move me, the only palatable religion, like a sugar-coated pill, I don’t believe in.
I know that my mother’s life is very close to God, I know the greatness of my mother, and when I was a child, I was somewhat reluctant to accept the religious training that my mother forced me to, but I believe that this training had a great impact on me. At that time, I was often tired of family prayers, so I used my thirst as an excuse to sneak outside, which often annoyed my mother. At that time, like my brothers and sisters, I had to go to church often, and I hated the long lectures, but today I think that this Xi of going to church often has cultivated my perseverance, which is thankful training.
The mother’s personality shows her sternness and strength everywhere, and it is not feminine. My mother’s prayers were the most impressive part of my childhood, and she used to shut herself up in a room on the third floor and hold prayers for long periods, sometimes before dawn. If we have any problems to solve, Mother will say to us, “Let me go and ask God. We can’t rush her to answer immediately, because asking God is not something that can be done in five minutes, and we must be patient and wait for God’s revelation. But strangely enough, whatever the Mother prays to God to decide, the result is good.
So after my mother passed away, I often thought to myself that my spiritual life would gradually grow. To put it more bluntly, I think God called my mother to enable her children to be self-reliant. When my mother was alive, I often thought that whatever I should or shouldn’t do, my mother would pray to God and inquire about God on my behalf. Although she insisted that we must pray for ourselves, that she could not be our intermediary, I am sure that she had prayed for us for so many long periods that it was for us, perhaps because such a mother was associated with religion in my heart, I could not give it up in any way.
Before I conclude this prayer question, I would like to tell you a lesson I learned from my mother. She was bedridden by then, not long before the day she died. At that time, Japan began to plunder the three eastern provinces of our country. We kept the details of this incident a secret from our mother, and one day I happened to talk to her about the eagerness of the Japanese to coerce us, I was so excited that I could not control myself, and suddenly I cried out in a loud voice:
“Mother, your prayers are powerful, why don’t you pray to God to punish Japan with an earthquake or something like that?” She turned her face around for a moment, and then looked at me with a serious gaze, “When you pray, or ask me to pray for you, don’t insult God with such a request, we mortals should not have such intentions, let alone pray to God?”
I have been deeply affected, and I know that the Japanese people have suffered a lot because of the government’s fallacy of actions against China, so I can now pray for the Japanese people.
In the past seven years, I have been pessimistic. The four richest provinces in the northeast were taken away by the enemy, and the people were suffering from floods, droughts, and famines. On the personal side, the sad experience of the death of a pious and loving mother made me see the shortcomings of life and the difficulties of human affairs. We work hard for the country, like a drop in the bucket, to no avail, I feel that life in the torrent of history is as small as a drop in the ocean. Sometimes I say to myself, “If the country is really strong and unified, what will happen to us? Is there no end to everything in the world?
Looking back on my married life over the years, my relationship with religion can be divided into three stages: the first stage is my extreme zeal and patriotism, that is, I want to do something for the country. I have a good opportunity, and if I work with my husband, it will not be difficult for me to contribute to the country. Although I have such ambitions, he relies on himself, and I lack a kind of mental concentration.
This is followed by the second phase. The sorrows I have said above have made me disappointed, pessimistic, depressed, and negative. Until my mother died, I felt that it was dark in front of me. There is the iron hoof of a strong enemy in the north, there is a political rift in the south, there is a drought in the northwest, there is a flood in the Yangtze River, and the dearest mother has called God again. What else do I have besides emptiness?
My mother’s religious spirit had a great influence on Chairman Chiang, and I felt very sorry that I could not encourage my husband spiritually. The chairman’s eldest lady was an ardent Buddhist, and her belief in Christianity was entirely due to my mother’s persuasion. For our marriage contract to be approved by her, the Chairman was allowed to study the doctrine of Christ and to read the Xi Bible. Later, I found out that he kept the previous covenant, and after my mother died, he did not change his original intention at all, but there were some things in the teachings that he could not understand at first, and it was very dull to read. He recites Xi’s Old Testament every day, pondering and pondering how difficult he is, so in my daily conversation, I need to solve the difficulties and show them tactfully.
So we realized that I would do my best to help my husband with his needs and that I was doing my best for the country. So I guided my husband into the spiritual garden that I knew. At the same time, I was trapped in the abyss of sorrow because of the chaos of my life, and I also wanted to find a way to extricate myself, so I unconsciously returned to the God that my mother believed in. I know that there is a power in the universe and that its greatness is by no means beyond the reach of man, and that is the power of God, and that the task of my mother to encourage the spiritual life of the chairman has been undertaken by me, and I have become closer to God day by day.
This brings us to the third stage. Everything I wish to do is out of God’s will, not my own. Life is very simple, we made it so messy and complicated, the old Chinese paintings, each with only one main subject, such as the flower painting scroll, one of which is three-dimensional, the rest is just a foil. The same is true of complex lives. So what is that flower of life? As far as I realize now, it is the will of God. But absolute piety and faithfulness are required to understand God’s will. Today’s political life is full of hypocrisy, strategy, and diplomacy, but I am convinced that these are not the most powerful weapons of politicians, but their most powerful weapons are loyalty and integrity.
In short, it seems to me that religion is a very simple thing, and its meaning is to do my best, my strength, and my will, to carry out God’s will. I believe in God, who has infinite power to help us, and whose favor is simply beyond our hopes and prayers.
恩典见证16.我怎…
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我的家庭
我的家庭乃是传道家庭，双亲都是非常虔诚的基督徒。我从小就上主日学，参加主日聚会，以及每天的家庭礼拜。有时我心中极不高兴那样勉强坐着听那冗长的讲道，然而就在不知不觉中，倒吸收了不少主的道理。甚至我和蒋先生结婚之后，我实际上还没有重生。在知识上我相信基督的神性，我也相信耶稣到世上来救赎罪人；但这对我个人并无大关系。虽然他是为我死，也是为全世界的人死，这事实在我身上并无特殊意义。至于罪吗，人人都是罪人，我决不会比一般人更坏啊！
第一次灵性的转机
我母亲对主的关系并不这样，她的生活与上帝极其亲近，她常花好几个钟头来祷告，与主交通。那时，我们每逢遭遇困难，总是找她替我们祷告。
母亲的死对她的每一个儿女都是一个重大的打击，但是对我的打击也许最重，因为我是她最小的女儿；我对她的倚赖程度是超过我自己所知道的。
那时，蒋先生在日本侵略的威胁之外，又加上一个负担，就是剿灭那时在国内的内乱。同时，黄河泛滥成灾，大批人民遭遇饥荒的威胁。多年以来，我和蒋先生密切同工，以达到他的目的——建立一个统一的现代化中国。这时，许多的困难叫我心灰意冷，几濒于绝望，而母亲却已不在世间，不能天天为我们祈祷了。我该怎么办呢？我能向谁求援呢？现在回想起来，我明白这是我第一次的灵性转机。
在蒋先生与我结婚以前，他曾答应我母亲要查考圣经，后来他果然忠实践守这诺言。这在我母亲临终以前，她带领了蒋先生正式归主。后来他每天仍然自行查考圣经，想要明白旧约中复杂繁奥的真理，这是一件颇为烦难的工作，因为难得有几则圣经历史，是一个不在基督教环境中长大的人所能领会欣赏的。当我看到他这样在困难中努力查考的时候，我晓得我应该帮助他，像我母亲一向所作的一样。
我从前在美国卫尔斯理大学读书时候，曾选修过一门「旧约历史」课程。于是我就利用我的旧笔记旧课本，开始每天同他有一段查经的时候，一直到现在，我们还保持这个习惯。每天早上六时半我们一起祷告、读经，并讨论彼此的心得。每晚就寝前，我们也在一起祷告。
女子护卫男子
一九三六年，蒋先生在西安被部属劫持。那时，事实证明了这一个每日早晨的灵修习惯，是一块支持并供给他力量的盘石。虽然处于可怖的精神痛苦之下，随时有丧生的可能，又因身体在蒙难时跌伤，但他在那段被劫持期间，心灵上却是十分平安。劫持他的人把他幽禁十日之久，不让他向外通消息。那时，举世震惊，全国人民要求劫持他的人即刻将他平安地释回。
后来，我终于设法得以搭飞机到西安，随伴在他的身旁。当劫持他的人允许我会见他的时候，他惊讶得就像见了鬼魂一般。当他镇静下来以后，他给我看一节圣经，是他当天早晨读到的：「耶和华在地上造了一件新事，就是女子护卫男子。」【耶31: 22】无怪乎他与我两人这样笃信不渝，直到今日！
神的托付
一九四九年，国内形势转变，我到达台湾以后不久，便觉得神呼召我组织一个祈祷的团体。当时，我对这件事十分胆寒。我觉得十分不自在，竭力想逃避这个责任。我害怕我的朋友会认为我过分虔诚，就像我以前对母亲的看法一样。我们多数的人都能很自然地表露我们对家人或朋友的爱，并不缄默；但却最不愿意别人知道我们对基督的忠诚，这岂非怪事！事实如此，我们爱他的心也就渐渐冷淡了。因为惟有一再坚认我们的信心，我们才能保持活的爱心。
于是，我就邀请了五位朋友到我的新居里来，她们都是虔诚的基督徒。我告诉他们，从那天起我希望有一个祈祷会。我提起耶稣基督的应许说，若有两三个人奉他的名聚会，他就在他们中间。如果她们同意，我们就可以一同为中国和世界的命运祈祷。
中华妇女祈祷会
从那时起，我们就在每星期三下午举行祈祷会，五年来一直没有间断过。最初的时候，我们必须克服一种不自在的感觉，开始时大家都很害羞，我们中间有些人从来没有在公众中出声祈祷过，一向很熟的朋友，在神面前突然陌生起来。但神终于负责带领了这个聚会，赐圣灵真正的与我们同在，不时充满了整个房间。
每年复活节，我们的祈祷会都举行受难节崇拜，由台电广播。我们着重说明耶稣钉死以后所发生的事件，当时除了羞愤自缢的加略人犹大之外，使徒们都变成了名副其实的属灵伟人，并具有惊人的领导能力。他们虽然饱受逼迫苦害，却在到处宣传福音，为公义的国度争战。他们这批极少数的基督徒，不单没有像一群无牧人的迷羊四处流散，反而形成了一个紧密联结不可力敌的团体，以致在可怕的压迫残害之下，他们竟然强过整个罗马帝国的力量。为什么我们不能像他们那样地热心无所惧怕，而是一些胆怯、无生气、连所信的是什么也弄不清楚的基督徒？
福音书中记载，耶稣基督在他工作期间，常常必须离开群众去与父上帝相交。他不但独自这样做，也带着他的门徒一同这样做。他是上帝的儿子，尚且需要靠着祈祷更新他的灵力，我们自然更需要祈祷—一同祈祷、出声祈祷，抱着迫切的热诚和愿望祈求上帝旨意的成就。
每周的祷告会由我们各人轮流主领。聚会开始的时候，通常有二分钟默祷，接着唱几首大家所喜爱的赞美诗，然后由主领人读一段经文，并述她个人与这段经文有关系的属灵见证，再由大家公开讨论这个题目。之后，与会的人各提出代祷事项，特别为某事或某人代祷。我们很虔诚的跪下，有二三个人依次随圣灵引导开声祷告。我们并没有固定的程序，因为我们觉得，自发的精神与多样的变化更能引起我们的热心。然而，每此结束的时候，我们例必按着上帝的旨意为中国的前途和世界和平祈祷。
经历圣灵的洗
在最早的几次聚会中，有一次一位主领人请凡是经历过圣灵同在的人举起手来，那时我没有举手。一直到后来，我才认识了住在我里面的圣灵。事实经过如下：
某日，我读主钉十字架的一段，当我读到一个兵丁用枪刺他的肋旁，血和水从伤口流出来的时候，我停下来了。这件事我以前曾读过许多遍，从来不曾特别受感动，但这次我竟然哭了。那天，我第一次悟到他是为我受了这些伤痛。我哭了又哭，深深觉到自己的卑微不配。那是一种很奇特的感觉，是极大的忧伤与极大的舒畅同时交汇。我本来很少哭，因为我们从小就学习不流露自己的情感。但是那一次眼泪竟然如潮水一般的流出，使我无法抑制。同时，我心中感到轻快如释重负，觉得我的罪已被泪水冲洗净尽了。
那次，我经历了圣灵的洗，从这天起，我就不单从头脑中相信，而是个人亲自与我的主结连。「若有人在基督里，他就是新造的人，旧事已过，都变成新的了。」【林后5: 17】
我的宗教观
我的个性，不喜欢玄虚，而爱好实际，世上看得见的东西，我才相信，否则我就不相信，别人承认的事情，我未必因而也加以承认，换句话说，适合我父亲的宗教，不一定能感动我，那只适口舌，宛如糖衣药丸的宗教，我并不信仰的。
我知道我母亲的生活，与上帝非常接近，我认识我母亲的伟大，我在幼年时，对于母亲强迫我的宗教训练，多少有些不肯受命，但我相信这种训练，给我的影响很大。那时的家庭祈祷，往往使我厌倦，我就借着口渴为推托，偷偷地溜到外面去，这常常使母亲烦恼。那时我也像我的兄弟姊妹一样，必须常常上教堂去，而冗长的说教，使我觉得非常憎厌，可是今天想起来，这种常上教堂的习惯，养成了我作事的恒心，这真是深可感谢的训练。
母亲的个性，处处表示出她的严厉刚强，而绝对不是优柔善感的。母亲那时虔诚的祈祷，是我幼年生活中最深刻的印象，她常常自闭于三楼的一间屋子里，举行祈祷，祈祷的时间很长，有时天没有亮就开始了。我们有什么难题要求解决，母亲一定对我们道：「让我去叩问上帝。」我们不能催促她立刻回答，因为叩询上帝，不是五分钟可得到效果的事情，一定要耐心等待上帝的启示。但奇怪的是，凡母亲祈祷上帝以求决定的任何事情，结果都是良好的。
所以母亲谢世之后，我常常自己想，我的精神生活将渐渐成长了。说得更直接一些，我觉得上帝之所以召我母亲，为了要使她的儿女得以自立。当我母亲在世的时候，我常常以为我所应做或不应做的事情，母亲会替我祷告上帝，叩询上帝的。她虽坚持着我们必须自己祈祷，她不能做我们的居间人，然而我确信她有无数长时间的祷告，是专替我们举行的，或许因为有这样一个母亲在我心中和宗教发生了联系，就使我怎样也没法子把它舍弃了。
在我结束这个祈祷问题以前，我想告诉你们从母亲那里得到的一次教训。那时她已卧病在床，距离她去世的日子没有多久了。那时日本开始掠夺我国的东三省。这件事的详细情形，我们对母亲是保守着秘密的，有一天我恰好同她谈到日本威迫我们的急切，当时我激动得不能自制，突然高声喊了出来：
「母亲，你的祈祷很有力量，为什么不祈求上帝，用地震或类此的灾祸惩罚日本呢？」她把脸转过了好一回，接着用严肃的目光，看着我：「当你祈祷，或求我替你祈祷的时候，切不要拿这种要求侮辱上帝，我们凡人尚且不应当有此存心，何况祈求上帝呢？」
我所受的影响很深，我知道日本国民因政府对华行动的谬妄而受到苦痛的很多，所以，现在也能替日本国民祈祷了。
过去七年之中，不如意事十常八九，我因此感到悲观。国家则内忧外患，交迫而来，最富饶的东北四省，给敌人夺了去，人民则饱受水旱灾荒，原应团结一致的军政领袖，却又常常发生纠纷。在私人方面呢，虔诚的慈母又与世长辞，这种痛心的遭遇，使我看到了人生的缺憾，以及人事的艰难。我们为国家努力，宛如杯水车薪，无济大事，我觉得人生在历史的洪流中，渺小得不啻沧海一粟。有时我自己对自己道：「国家果真强盛果真统一了，我们又怎样呢？天下事真没有一个止境的么？盛极必衰，一个国家到了繁荣的极端，一定就要下降！」（这些话我从来没有对丈夫说过）
回忆我若干年来的结婚生活，我与宗教发生关系，可分三个阶段：第一个阶段，我极度的热心与爱国，也就是欲替国家做些事情。我的机会很好，我与丈夫合作，就不难对国家有所贡献了。我虽有这样的抱负，但他赖自我，我实在还缺少一种精神上的定力。
接着是第二阶段。我在上面已说过的种种忧患，使我失望悲观，颓丧消极了起来。直到慈母去世，真觉得眼前一团漆黑。北方有强敌的铁蹄，南方有政治的裂痕，西北旱荒，长江水灾，而最亲爱的母亲，又给上帝呼召了去。除了空虚，我还有些什么呢？
我母亲的宗教精神，给了蒋委员长很大的影响，我于是想到，我在精神方面，不能鼓励我的丈夫，实在觉得万分遗憾。委员长的大夫人是热心的佛教徒，他的信仰基督教，完全是由于我母的劝导。为了要使我们的婚约得她许可，委员长允许研究基督教义，并且诵习圣经。后来我发现他谨守前约，我母去世后，也丝毫不变初衷，但教义中，初起也有一些不能了解的地方，读时很觉沉闷。他每天诵习旧约，苦思冥索，自多困难，所以我在日常谈话中，实有把难解决之处，委婉示意的必要。
于是我方始明了，我要就丈夫的需要，尽力帮助他，就是为国家尽了最大的责任。我就把我所知道的精神园地，引导丈夫进去。同时我因生活纷乱，陷于悲愁的深渊，也想找一自拔的途径，于是不知不觉地又回到了母亲所信仰的上帝那里。我知道宇宙间有一种力量，它的伟大，决不是人们所能企及的，那就是上帝的力量，母亲鼓励委员长精神生活的任务，既由我担负了起来，我也日渐和上帝接近了。
由此而入第三阶段。我所愿做的一切，都出于上帝的意思，而不是自己的。人生实很简单，是我们把它弄得如此纷乱而复杂，中式旧式绘画，每幅只有一个主要题材，譬如花卉画轴，其中有一朵花是立体，其余不过衬托辅助而已。复杂的人生也是如此。那么人生的那朵花是什么呢？就我现在所觉悟的，那是上帝的意志。但需要绝对的虔诚与忠信，方有明白上帝意志的可能。如今政治生活充满着虚伪、策略和外交手腕，可是我深信这些并不是政治家的最有力武器，他们最有力的武器，只有忠诚和正直。
总之，在我看来，宗教是很简单的事情，其意义就是尽我心、我力、我意，以实行上帝的意志。我信仰的上帝，他有无限力量可以帮助我们，他的恩惠，简直会超出我们的想望和祈求。
Testimoni…
Listen for 7 min, video at the end
Albert Einstein said, “In the history of mankind, there is only one person who can combine physical experiments, mathematical theories, and mechanical inventions into science and art — and that is Newton.” 』
Newton discovered the law of universal gravitation, invented calculus, and first proposed that visible light is composed of seven spectroscopic lights: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet, and red, he introduced mathematics into science, making physics and chemistry more accurate studies, and laid the foundation for mathematics to become the language for describing the motion of the universe in Newton’s three laws of motion mechanics. His outstanding achievements have earned him the title of “the most outstanding scientist in history” and “the father of modern physics”.There are many biographies of Newton on the market, most of which praise Newton’s scientific achievements or refer to the apple that fell to the ground, but omit or distort Newton’s beliefs.For example, when Newton explained why there is gravitational force in the universe, he based on a scientific hypothesis that “there may be a substance in the universe called ether, which is the conduction of gravity.” As a result, it is translated in this book: “There are gods in the universe, and the gods are the conveyors of gravity.” It just twisted Newton into a polytheist.Hannah’s PrayerNewton was born at midnight on December 25, 1642, and was born prematurely. At that time when infant mortality was high, it was rare for a premature baby to survive. Newton’s father was an illiterate farmer, and together with his strong-minded wife, Hannah Ayscough, ran a small farm in Woolsthorpe, England, and both belonged to the ‘Puritans’ – a group of staunch Christians.
Three months before Newton was born, his father died of illness, and the small farm lacking manpower did not produce a harvest, and the family was even poorer. When Newton was born, his family was so disrespected, that he could not afford to buy nourishment to feed this premature child. Hannah had just lost her husband, and when her only child was about to die, she remembered that there was a woman named Hannah in the Bible who prayed to God in her sorrow: “If thou wilt look upon thy servant’s afflictions, and thou wilt remember thy servant and give me a son, I will give him to thee all the days of thy life.” 1 Samuel 1:11
Newton’s mother held her premature baby in her arms and prayed the same prayer to God.Throughout Newton’s life, his mother’s prayer had a profound impact on his personality and faith. The earliest record of Newton’s upbringing is his prayers, which he often wrote in the margins of his class notes, such as in 1662 when he was a sophomore in college:My God! If my heart is inclined to evil, do not fulfill me, do not allow me to live by my faith alone, and do not use love for God as an excuse for my unloving love.Not to follow you for blessings, not to desire you only in the church. Let me be a man who fears you, and because I fear you, I am not afraid of men.Newton often wondered if God had listened to his mother’s prayers and that God had kept him alive because there must have been something he had to do.When Newton was three years old, his family was so poor that his mother had to marry a 63-year-old widower from a neighboring village, the Rev. Barnabas Smith. Reverend Smith raised Newton on a meager salary, and when he died eight years later, the mother and son received some pensions, and Newton had to watch the cattle and horses after class to make ends meet.Newton’s KiteThe village of Ustopp, where Newton lived, was the most famous place in Britain for the production of horse-drawn carriages. Most of the children here want to be coachmen when they grow up. Newton was different, he had a quiet personality, and Pastor Smith in particular left him a large pile of books on the Bible, theology, poetry, mathematics, history, law, mechanics, etc., which became the best treasures in his home. He often reads books in the attic where he collects them and even takes them with him when he watches the cows and horses. His mother watched quietly and noticed that the child was different.
When Newton entered secondary school, he began to show his special talent.
When many students immediately started cutting paper and tying brackets, Newton first put a piece of paper on his desk, carefully designed the size of the kite, and did some calculations before starting to do it. He was the slowest in his kite, but when he tried to fly, the whole class startled even his teacher, Stokes: how could Newton’s kite fly so high and so fast?Afterward, Mr. Stockx told Newton’s mother that the child should go to college anyway. Hannah smiled: she had already prepared this child’s college tuition.In June 1661 Newton entered Cambridge University. At that time, it was popular for Cambridge students to drink and play cards, calling it “pure entertainment”. Newton was a poor student, his mother saved only enough money to pay for his tuition, and he had to work as an assistant to his teacher in experiments to earn a living. In this way, he inadvertently brought him close to the excellent professors of Cambridge at that time, and inherited the essence of the research of these professors throughout his life, which became Newton’s later famous quote: “I see farther than others because I stand on the shoulders of giants. 』
The excellence of a university is determined by three conditions: first, the quality of teachers, second, the library and equipment, and third, the temperament of the school’s buildings and campus. The first is the most important. Many people enter the university without strolling through the corridors of the university and do not wander around the university grass to breathe academic freedom, which is a waste of university resources.The studious Newton not only did not waste any resources at Cambridge University but also met good teachers who influenced him throughout his life.
Newton’s Calligraphy
Henry More was the teacher who had the deepest influence on Newton’s science and faith.Moore, a mathematician, and a devout Christian, said, “God created this world to make people know it, to seek Him, to thank it. It is arrogant for anyone to despise the marvelous creatures of this world and to see what the world does not have to be miraculous. Moore believes that the purpose of putting mathematics in education is: “Education is a kind of moral and intellectual cultivation, and the mathematics curriculum is designed to train students to think more precisely.” Long-term mathematics education is a stressful exercise for students, to stimulate a person’s hard work. It is with hard work that a person can keep to the moral code for a long time, and the moral code comes from God. Therefore, mathematics education and faith go hand in hand. 』
Professor Moore, with a teacher’s keen intuition for his students, immediately noticed Newton’s difference. He found that before the beginning of each semester, Newton used the vacation to read all the textbooks that were going to be classed, and by the time the class started, Newton was already reading more advanced research reports than that class.Newton himself wrote, “When I walk into a classroom, I often find that I know more about the content than my teacher. This kind of calligraphy would have put a lot of pressure on the average teacher, but Moore turned to Newton and gave him more in-depth books, such as Kepler’s “Optics” and Sanderson’s “Logic,” and made his 1,800 books “a library open to Newton at any time.” Moore also paid Newton’s living expenses for a long time.
In addition to his different approach to reading, Newton, because of his family’s poverty, carefully kept a record of his expenses, and he believed that “prudence with money is the basic Xi of the Christian life.”Newton often wrote his prayers in his diary or on the empty pages of his textbooks, some of which are still preserved in the British Museum. He wrote: “It is dishonest and human cowardice to attempt to substitute one’s efforts for God’s blessings with fervent prayer. I don’t think Newton would have given the kind of testimony that I prayed and got what I just read last night, because then God would be so unfair to the students who usually work hard. Grounded faith is not a shortcut to success.The pleasure of money was a great attraction to a poor student, and Newton wrote, ‘Lord, forgive me! ‘My heart desires to make money more than it desires your presence—but my heart is reunited with you at the Sunday bread-breaking (sacrament) meeting. Newton and his roommate Wirkkins often distributed Bibles to the poor outside of school, evangelizing them, and buying Bibles to distribute became the biggest expense of Newton’s student life, in addition to rent and food.
Apple & Garden
In 1664, Newton began to use his spare time to conduct his research. He first studied the structure of light with a prism and found that the spectroscopy of light has different refractive indexes.
Between 1665 and 1667, the terrible Black Death occurred in England, killing many people. The university announced the closure of classes, and the government ordered that no one should travel far from their homes to avoid spreading or contracting the Black Death. When the whole country was shrouded in the shadow of the Black Death, Newton wrote afterward that the more than two years of no classes and nowhere to go were “the moment when his life thought was at its peak.” At this time, he created a very important math called calculus, from the solution of infinite proportional series.
When Newton was asked afterward why he had made such a great discovery, Newton replied, “I always put the subject of my thoughts in front of me like a painting, and sketched it out bit by bit, until the whole painting slowly came to the fore.” This requires a long period of silence and constant meditation. 』Newton’s contemplation of science is inextricably linked to his prayer life. He often thinks of science in the contemplation of faith, and in the contemplation of science, he thinks of faith. In 1666 he began to think about the movement of the earth in orbit and calculate the relationship between gravity and centrifugal force during its rotation, and in 1669 he wrote down his discovery in his notebook, the Law of Gravity. Did you know that without this immutable law in the universe, all objects, as small as a grain of sand or as large as a planet, would be flying around and becoming chaos.When did Newton discover the law of gravitation? His friend Stukeley replied, ‘Newton used to walk in the garden, and one day at noon he came back and told me that he saw an apple fall to the ground and thought of gravity. This apple later became a symbol of Newton’s discovery of gravity, and more importantly, Newton had a Xi of coming alone to the garden to pray and meditate.In his book “A Biography of Newton” in 1968, Manuel, a professor of history at New York University, wrote: “Modern science is derived from Newton’s meditation on God.”
Ah, the principle!
At that time, many scientists and professors could not understand Newton’s outstanding discovery, and even ridiculed it as: “Another set of clichés to explain astronomy.” Thankfully, I had the support of Isaac Barrow.
He was one of the leading professors of mathematics and astronomy at Cambridge University, one of the few people who could carefully verify Newton’s ideas of mathematics and physics, and was also a Christian. He came to Newton and privately imposed the strictest requirements on this best student. Béjo asked Newton: “Go back to the most basic assumptions of physics, test each one with precision, again and again, almost endlessly, and put all your energy into it, so as not to waste it on useless sesame trifle.” He then asked for retirement so that Newton, who was only twenty-seven years old, would succeed him as a professor at Cambridge University.The faculty at Cambridge was not Newton’s sweet spot. As soon as Newton took over, he immediately experienced many factional disputes and personnel disputes in the so-called academic freedom and independent university, and Newton, who liked to think quietly and was unsociable, was also excluded as a marginal person outside the power circle.Newton’s old friend Wirkkins wrote: ‘Newton looked more lonely and silent, less than thirty years old, with his hair half-white. 』Newton was determined not to get involved in these disputes, he fixed his eyes on eternity, no matter what people judged or slandered him, and only focused his efforts on scientific research and faith in Christ, and did not fall into self-pity after being slandered. Newton wrote: ‘My heart is always earnest and quiet, and does not fall into melancholy. 』Slowly, he developed deeper reflections and experimental results into his masterpiece Principle. The book not only records Newton’s scientific discoveries, but also repeatedly mentions the relationship between his “mechanistic theory” and God, saying that the difference between true and false gods is that false gods do not control the universe, have no immutable will, have no final judgment, and belong to perishable creation.The word “dominant” is constantly mentioned in the book, and he thinks that it is the most sacred and wonderful of God’s attributes, so that those who seek it can understand, and that mechanism is God’s law in charge of the universe, and that God has placed in the universe to make people understand his power. Albert Einstein said, “The most mysterious thing in the universe is that man can understand the universe.” 』In his book Principia, Newton wrote: Just as a man born blind does not understand light, we cannot understand the wisdom and omnipotence of God. The image of God is not seen, heard, or touched, nor can it be represented by the corrupt false gods of the world, but we can only know Him in all His creation, God is still in power, and we are all under God’s control. False gods, on the other hand, have no authority, no eternal care, and no beginning of creation, but nothingness, finiteness, and nature as they are. Because of God’s sovereignty, we call Him Lord. We are His servants, but we are limited and incomplete.
The Valley of the Shadow of DeathIn 1672 Newton joined the Royal Society of Science, the highest scientific research association in the country. The publication of Principia was a great shock to the scientific community throughout Europe, drawing praise and criticism. Nevertheless, Newton proposed in the Royal Society of Science the “principle of elliptical orbits of the planets” (1676-1677) and “mathematical proof of universal gravitation” (1680-1684).
Aston, a student of Newton, later wrote: “Newton spoke cautiously and slowly. He tried his best to avoid conflicts of will, did not see profit and forgot righteousness, did not flatter people, and preferred to endure insults in silence rather than wear full armor to fight with others. Newton said, ‘If a man can’t control his temper, his temper will control you.’ Newton’s life was guided by faith, not by his volatile temper. 』
Newton was not a perennial winner in scientific research. He studied experimental chemistry for a long time from 1669 to 1691 and made no discoveries, but he became acquainted with Boyle, known as the “father of modern chemistry”, and the two corresponded for sixteen years.
The elder and godly Boyle not only helped Newton in his research, but his example strengthened Newton’s faith at a time when Newton was under heavy criticism.
As an outstanding scientist, Newton liked to openly confess his beliefs, and he had a personality that was not good at socializing with people and liked to work quietly alone.
At that time, religious elements attacked him for having first-rate science but third-rate theology; scientific elements attacked him for having first-rate theology but third-rate science; political elements attacked him for being third-rate in science, theology, and interpersonal relations; some people slandered him for his mental inadequacy when they saw that he was filial to his mother and never married; some people still say that Newton had a mother-love complex; and some people say that he is homosexual because he is good to his students. These relentless attacks drove Newton almost insane.In 1692, Professor Biot from Geneva denounced Newton as the ‘Prophet of London’, saying, ‘Newton’s law of gravitation is a meditation on religion, not a scientific discovery…… He had to make it clear that if it was science, don’t write about how God is, and if it’s about God, don’t put it in the category of science. 』As soon as Beit opened fire, many people besieged Newton in groups. Newton, who usually did not think of defense, stood almost naked on the execution ground of science, receiving merciless attacks. On September 30, 1693, Newton wrote: “I am in a state of extreme sorrow. For the past twelve months, I have had no intention of eating and unable to sleep peacefully, my heart is shaken and I cannot think. 』
The relentless attacks continued, and in 1694 Newton was slandered for having sex with a woman, and in 1695 Newton was almost insane, and Newton was rumored to have died everywhere. Newton was speechless and withdrawn from the crowd, writing: “John Spencer’s book The laws of Hebrews was a consolation in my troubles. 』After the King of England stepped in and appointed him President of the Royal Society, these attacks suddenly disappeared.In the decades that followed, Newton insisted on establishing an “honest system” for the scientific community, drawing on the experience of the past two and a half years of vilification, and he was the best model.To be an honest scientist was the best persuasion Boyle gave to Newton and all subsequent scientists before his death (1691), when Boyle wrote: ‘I am old, and it is time for me to write down what I know about chemistry. Some of this knowledge is the result of years of experimentation, and some of it is the result of careful discussion with others. I wrote down as much as I could, and I tried my best to write down some of the things that were difficult to understand so that those who came after me could judge them carefully. I write down the details of each research one by one and effectively pass on the knowledge through true and unfalsified records.But despite all my efforts, I still can’t get a full picture of my knowledge. Now, I put the fruits of my life in your hands, and may you be like connoisseurs who appraise works of art. At that moment, it was a gift of my deep love for humanity and chemistry. 』Don’t let other people’s mistakes become your stumbling blocks.Suffering did not leave Newton. At the end of the seventeenth century, Christians claiming to be prophets sent by God cried out, “The end of the world is coming.” This wave of “doomsday theory” came from Cevennes, France, and burned through the cities of England like wildfire. Many rose up and chimed in, claiming to have seen visions of a ship laden with blood flying through the streets of England, and some said that many people were seen lying on the beach with blood as a harbinger of God’s coming judgment.In a short period, thousands of peddlers followed the prophets of the last days, and even some of the best scientists of the Royal Academy of Sciences flocked to him because a good scientist could also fall into the mire of heresy because of his ignorance of religion.Newton himself was a Christian, he studied the books of Daniel and Revelation for a long time and believed that the world mentioned in the Bible has an end day, that is, Christ Jesus will come to judge, but no one knows which day it is, and the correct attitude in the face of the end times should be more gratitude than fear, more calmness than evasion. So he disapproved of these prophets who were preaching the end times. He believed that godly faith was temperate rather than indulgent in zeal, genuinely filled with the Holy Spirit, and motivated by the Spirit of God, not by the almost hypnotic and suggestive teachings of self-proclaimed prophets.
Newton’s opposition to these prophets immediately drew bitter criticism and rebuke from many radical Christians. This misunderstanding broke Newton’s heart. It was during this time that Newton had a long period of wavering faith in his life (1698-1707). For Christians, merciless curses from other Christians are more painful than being hurt by ordinary people. Hurt can easily lead people to extremes, and many people later want to prove that Newton was an atheist or an agnostic, which is a quote from Newton’s words and deeds during this period. However, the growth of faith is not always smooth sailing, and there will inevitably be frequent adversities.In 1707 the King of England decreed that these so-called ignorants, who had used religion for too many illicit gains, be sent to prison in London. The end of the world has not yet come, but theirs has come first. Since then, the winds of the last days have gradually subsided.
The Boy Who Picks Up ShellsTime is often the best healing agent. Newton returned from his misery became stronger in his faith, and was able to distinguish between the truth and the extreme, to submit to the difference between biblical truth and human speech, and to rethink physics, mathematics, and optics. In the reprint of the Principia, he wrote: “It is my greatest joy in publishing this book to let people know that I am doing this great work with faith in God. 』In his later years, Newton became famous in Europe and his contributions were widely recognized. His greatest pleasure in old age was to play with children, and one day he said to his little nephew, ‘I don’t know what the world will think of me, for to me I am like a boy playing on the beach, and I am pleasant to stumble upon a round stone and a beautiful shell, but there are still as many stones and shells as the sea before me. 』
Newton died on March 20, 1727, and in his later years wrote:“Hold fast to the redemptive truth and greatest commandment of Jesus Christ no matter the circumstances—to love your neighbor as yourself. 』
恩典见证7. 牛顿…
音频 7 分钟,末有视频
爱因斯坦说：『在人类的历史上，能够结合物理实验、数学理论、机械发明成为科学艺术的人，只有一位–那就是牛顿。』
牛顿发现万有引力定律；发明微积分；首先提出可见光是由红橙黄绿蓝靛紫七个分光组成；他将数学导入科学，使物理、化学成为更精确的学问；在牛顿的运动力学三定律里，奠定了数学成为描述宇宙运动的语言。种种杰出成就，为他赢得今日『历史上最杰出的科学家』与『近代物理学之父』的尊称。
市面上有许多牛顿的传记，大多歌颂牛顿的科学成就或是提到那颗掉到地上的苹果，却遗漏或扭曲了牛顿的信仰。
例如牛顿在解释宇宙间为什么会存在万有引力，他基于科学的假设说：『宇宙间可能有一种物质叫乙太(ether)，是引力的传导。』结果有本书中翻译成：『宇宙间存在有诸神，诸神是引力的传达。』硬是把牛顿扭曲成了多神教徒。
〖 哈拿的祷告〗
牛顿(1saac Newton)生于一六四二年十二月二十五日午夜，是一个早产儿。在那个婴儿死亡率很高的年代，一个早产儿能够活下来是很少有的事。牛顿的父亲是不识字的 农夫，与个性坚强的妻子哈拿艾思克(HannahAyscough)一起经营在英国乌斯托普(Woolsthorpe) 的小农场，夫妻俩都属于『清教徒』–一群信仰坚定的基督徒。
在牛顿出生前三个月，他的父亲病逝，缺乏人力的小农场没有收成，家境更是贫穷。等到牛顿出生时，家徒四壁，哪有钱去购买营养品来喂养这个早产儿?哈拿才死了丈夫，眼看惟一的孩子也要死了，在最绝望的时候想起圣经上也有一个名叫哈拿的女子，在难过时向上帝的祷告：『你若垂顾婢女的苦情，眷念不忘婢女，赐我一个儿子，我必使他终身归与你。』【撒上1: 11】
牛顿的母亲怀抱着她的早产儿，向上帝发出同样的祷告。
在牛顿的一生中，母亲的这个祷告对于他的个性与信仰有很深刻的影响。牛顿成长过程留下的最早记录就是他的祷告，他经常在课堂笔记空白处记下祷告，例如在一六六二年，他大学二年级时写下：
上帝啊! 若我心偏于邪恶，请勿成全我；不容我单靠自己的信念去生活；不以爱上帝做我不爱人的藉口；
不是为得祝福来跟随你；不是只在教会中渴慕你. 让我做个敬畏你的人，且因着敬畏你，而不畏惧人。
牛顿经常思索上帝当年听他母亲的祷告，上帝让他活下来，一定有些事是要他去完成的。
到牛顿三岁时，因为家里实在太穷了，母亲只好再嫁给邻村一位六十三岁的鳏夫–巴拿巴·史密斯(BarnabsSmith)牧师。史密斯牧师靠着微薄的薪水把牛顿养大，八年后过世，母子俩领了一些抚恤金，牛顿下课后还要替人看牛管马才够生活。
〖 牛顿的风筝〗
原来牛顿住的乌斯托普村，是英国生产马车最有名的地方。这里的小孩长大后的愿望大多是做个马车夫。牛顿可不同，他的个性安静，尤其史密斯牧师给他留下一大堆包括圣经、神学、诗歌、数学、历史、法律、机械等类的书籍，成为他家里最好的宝藏。他经常在藏书的阁楼看书，连看牛看马时也带着书去看。他的母亲在 一旁静静地观察，发现这小孩真有点不同。
牛顿进中学时，开始显出他的特殊天才。
学校要做风筝，许多学生立刻动手去裁纸、绑支架，牛顿却先在书桌上放一张纸，仔细设计风筝的尺寸，计算一番才开始动手做。他的风筝交得最慢，但是一试飞，让全班同学连老师司托克斯(Stokes)都吓一跳：牛顿的风筝怎么飞那么高又那么快?
事后司托克斯老师对牛顿的母亲说，无论如何要让这个孩子去念大学。哈拿微微一笑：她早就准备好这孩子的大学学费了。
一六六一年六月牛顿进剑桥大学。当时剑桥大学的纨绔学生流行喝酒、打牌，称这是『单纯的娱乐』。牛顿是个穷学生，母亲存的钱只够付学费，他必须为老师做实验的助手，才能赚取生活费。如此，无意中使他接近当时剑桥的优秀教授，承袭了这些教授一生的研究精华，成为牛顿后来的名言：
『我看的比别人远是因我站在巨人的肩头上。』
一所大学的优秀，决定于三个条件：一、老师的素质，二、图书馆与仪器设备，三、学校的建筑物与校园的气质。其中尤以第一项最为重要。许多人进了大学，不曾漫步在大学的回廊，不曾徜佯在大学草地上呼吸学术的自由，真是浪费大学的资源。
好学的牛顿在剑桥大学不但不浪费任何资源，还遇到了影响他一生的好老师。
〖 牛顿的读书法〗
亨利·摩尔(Henry More)是影响牛顿科学与信仰最深的老师。
摩尔是数学家，也是位敬虔的基督徒，他说：『上帝创造这个世界的目的，是要使人认识它，寻求祂，感谢它。若有人轻看这世界奇妙的受造物，要看到世界所没有的才算神迹，那是自大。』摩尔认为把数学放在教育中的目的在于：『教育是一种道德与思考的培育，数学课程的设立是为了训练学生，使他们的思考更精密。 长期受数学教育，对学生是一种有压力的操练，为的是要激发一个人有刻苦的心志。有刻苦的心志才能使人长期持守道德的准则，而道德的准则来自上帝。因此数学教育与信仰是相辅相成的。』
摩尔教授以一个老师对学生的敏锐直觉，一下子就发现牛顿的不同。他发现牛顿在每学期开学以前，先利用假期，将要上课的所有课本都看完，等到上课时，牛顿已经在看比那门课更进阶的研究报告了。
牛顿自己也写道：『当我走进教室上课时，常发现对上课内容的了解深度，已经超过了我的老师。』这种读书法会令一般老师倍受压力，摩尔却找牛顿来，给他更深的书，像开普勒(Kepler)的『光学』、桑德森(Sanderson)的『逻辑学』，并且把自己拥有的一千八百本藏书，成为『随时向牛顿开放的图 书馆』。摩尔也长期支付牛顿的生活费。
除了读书方法与人不同之外，牛顿因为家里贫穷，仔细记录他的支出，他认为『用钱谨慎是基督徒生活的基本学习』。
牛顿经常在日记中或课本空页写下自己的祷告，有些记载仍保存在大英博物馆中。他写道：『企图光以迫切祷告祈求上帝的祝福，来取代自己所该付出的努力，是一种不诚实的行为，是出于人性的懦弱。』我想牛顿大概不会做那种『祷告后，考试都考到我昨夜刚读到的』之类的见证，因为这样，上帝对平时用功的学生就太 不公平了。踏实的信仰绝非寻找成功的捷径。
金钱的享受对一个穷学生是一种莫大的吸引，牛顿写下：『主啊，赦免我!因为我的心想以赚钱为乐，多于渴想你的同在 – 但是在主日擘饼(圣餐)聚会里，我的心又重新与你联合。』牛顿和他的室友魏克金斯经常在校外分发圣经给穷人，向他们传福音，购买要分发的圣经成为牛顿学生生涯中除了房租与伙食费外最大的花费。
〖 苹果与花园〗
一六六四年，牛顿开始利用课余进行自己的研究。他首先以三棱镜研究光的结构，发现光的分光有不同的折射率。
一六六五年至一六六七年，英国发生可怕的黑死病，死了许多人。大学宣布停课，政府并且下令所有人不准离家远行，以免传播或感染黑死病。当全国笼罩在黑死病的阴影下，风声鹤唳之际，牛顿事后写道：这两年多没课可上、没地方可去，是他『人生思想迈向颠峰的时刻』。在这时他由无穷等比级数的解法里创立了一门 很重要的数学–微积分。
事后有人问牛顿，为什么他能够有这么伟大的发现，牛顿答道：『我始终把思考的主题像一幅画般摆在面前，再一点一线的去勾勒，直到整幅画慢慢的凸显出来。这需要长期的安静与不断的默想。』
牛顿对科学的思索与他的祷告生活有密不可分的关系。他常在信仰的思索里想到科学，在科学的思索里想到信仰。在一六六六年他开始思索地球在轨道上的运转，并且计算运转时的重力与离心力的关系，一六六九年他在笔记上写下他的发现–万有引力定律(Law ofGravity)。你知道吗?宇宙里如果没有这一条不变的定律，所有的物体，小至一粒沙，大至一个星球，都将乱飞乱撞，成为混沌(chaos)。
牛顿是在什么情况下发现万有引力定律的呢?他的好友史塔克利(Stukeley)答道：『牛顿经常在花园散步，有一天中午他回来了，对我说他看到一粒 苹果掉到地上，想到了万有引力。』这粒苹果后来成为牛顿发现万有引力的标志，其实更重要的是，牛顿有独自来到花园祷告与默想的习惯。
纽约大学历史系教授曼纽(Manuel)，一九六八年在他所著的《牛顿传》中写下：『近代的科学是源自牛顿对上帝的默想』
〖 啊，原理! 〗
当时许多科学家、教授都看不懂牛顿的杰出发现，甚至讥讽为：『又是一套解释天体论的陈腔滥调。』幸好这时有贝若(Isaac Barrow)的支持。
贝若是当时欧洲的光学泰斗，剑桥大学首屈一指的数学与天文教授，是少数能仔细验证牛顿数学与物理观念的人，也是一位基督徒。他找牛顿来，对这个最优秀的学生，私下给与最严格的要求。贝若要求牛顿：『回到物理学上最基本的假设，精密地验证每个假设，一次、一次又一次，几乎无止境地反复验证，并把所有的精 力都投入，以免浪费在无用的芝麻小事上。』然后贝若申请退休，让才二十七岁的牛顿接续他的职位，成为剑桥大学的教授。
剑桥的教职并不是牛顿的桃花源。当时贝若的职位有多少人在背后垂涎，牛顿一接任，立刻尝到号称学术自由、独立的大学里面，众多的派系纷争、人事倾轧；喜欢安静思考、不爱交际的牛顿，也被排挤成为权力圈外的边缘人。
牛顿的老友魏克金斯写下：『牛顿看起来更孤独、沉默，三十岁不到，头发已经半白。』
牛顿立志不涉入这些纠纷，他定睛永恒，不管人家怎么论断、怎么中伤他，只把努力放在科学的研究，与对基督的信仰上，而不陷入被中伤后的自怜中。牛顿写下：『我的心经常是认真与安静，不陷入忧郁。』
慢慢地，他将更深的思索与实验结果写成旷世名作《原理》(Principle)一书。这本书不只记载牛顿的科学发现，也反复提到他的『机械论』与神的关系，他说真神与假神的差别是假神没有掌管宇宙，没有不变的旨意，没有最后的判决，属于必朽坏的受造之物。
书中不断提到『掌管』(dominant)这个字，他认为这是神的属性里，最神圣又是最奇妙的，让寻求它的人可以明白；机械论就是神掌管宇宙的法则，是神摆在宇宙里让人明白它能力的法则。爱因斯坦说：『宇宙里最奥秘的，就是人竟然可以去明白这个宇宙。』
牛顿在《原理》一书中写着：如同生来瞎眼的人不了解光，我们无法明白神的智慧与全能。神的形像没有人看到、听到、接触到，更不是世上必朽坏的假神所能代表；我们只能在祂所创造的万物中了解祂，神仍在掌权，我们都在神的掌管下。而假神没有掌管的权柄，没有永远的看顾，没有创世的起初，不过是虚无、有限，与大自然一样。因着神的掌权，我们称祂是主(Lord)。我们是祂的仆人，不过是有限与不完全。
〖 死荫的幽谷〗
一六七二年牛顿加入英国皇家科学协会–全国最高的科学研究协会。《原理》的出版，对全欧洲的科学界是一大震撼，引来称赞也招来攻击。虽然如此，牛顿仍在皇家科学会里提出『星球运转椭圆轨道的原理』(1676-1677年)，与『万有引力的数学证明』(1680-1684年)。
牛顿的学生艾斯顿(Aston)后来写道：『牛顿讲话慎重、缓慢。他尽量避免意气之争，不见利忘义，不奉承人，宁愿默默忍受侮辱，也不愿披挂着一身的 装甲去与人争战。牛顿说『一个人如果控制不了自己的脾气，脾气将控制你。』引导牛顿一生的，是信仰而非起伏不定的脾气。』
牛顿并非是科学研究上的常胜军。他从一六六九年至一六九一年长期研究实验化学，并没有获得什么发现，不过因此结识了有『近代化学之父』之称的波义耳(Boyle)，两人通信长达十六年。
年长敬虔的波义耳，不仅帮助牛顿研究工作，而且在牛顿遭受猛烈抨击的时候，他的榜样更坚固了牛顿的信仰。
牛顿身为一个杰出的科学家，喜欢公开表白自己的信仰，又有个不擅与人交际、喜爱独自安静工作的个性，现实的社会对像他这种善良、单纯的人，有时是非常残酷的。
当时宗教分子攻击他有一流的科学，却有三流的神学；科学分子攻击他有一流的神学，却有三流的科学；政治分子攻击他的科学、神学、人际关系都属三流；有人看他孝顺母亲又终身未婚，就中伤他心理不健全，现今还有人说牛顿有恋母情结；有人看他对学生好，就说他有同性恋。这种种无情的攻击搞得牛顿几乎发疯。
一六九二年，日内瓦来的拜特(Biot)教授大力抨击牛顿，谑称他是『伦敦先知』(Prophet of London)，说：『牛顿的万有引力定律是来自对宗教的默想，而非科学的发现……他必须撇清，如果这是科学就不要写到上帝如何如何，如果是与上帝有关的就不要放入科学范畴。』
拜特一开炮，许多人就群起围攻牛顿。平常没有想到防备的牛顿几乎赤裸裸地站在科学的刑场上，接受无情的攻击。一六九三年九月三十日牛顿写下：『我陷在极端的难过中。过去十二个月，我无心进食也无法安稳地入睡，我心动摇，无法思想。』
无情攻击持续下去，一六九四年有人黑函中伤牛顿与女人乱搞性关系；一六九五年牛顿几乎精神失常，各地都传闻牛顿死了。牛顿百口莫辩，更退出人群；他写道：『史宾塞(JohnSpencer)著的《希伯来的律法》(The laws of Hebrews)一书成为我困难中的安慰。』
在英国国王出面，任命他为『英国皇家协会会长』(Presidency Of theRoyal Society)后，这些攻击就突然消失了。
牛顿在以后数十年，根据过去两年半受中伤的经验，坚持给科学界建立『诚实的体系』，而他本身就是最好的模范。
成为一个诚实的科学家，是波义耳在死前(1691年)给牛顿及以后所有科学家最好的劝导，波义耳写道：『我老了，这该是我将所知的化学知识写下来的时候了。这些知识，有的是经过多年的实验；有的是与别人仔细讨论而得。我认为是确实的，就尽力地写下来；有些是困难不易明白的，我尽可能的写清楚，好让后来的人能够仔细判断。我把每个研究细节一一写下，透过真实无伪的记载，将知识有效地传递下去。
但是，尽管我尽了所有的努力，我仍然无法窥得知识的全貌。现今，我把一生的成果放在你们的手中，愿你们像鉴赏家鉴定艺术品一般。在那一刻，是我呈现对人类与化学深爱的献礼。』
〖 不让别人的错误成为自己的绊脚石〗
苦难并没有离开牛顿。当时间的脚步进入十七世纪末，忽然有些基督徒自称是上帝派来的先知，到处呼喊『世界末日就要来了』。这波『世界末日说』传自法国Cevennes，野火般地烧遍英国各大城。许多人起来附和，声称看到异象：有一艘满载鲜血的船在英国大街上飞过；有人说看到许多人浴血倒卧沙滩边，说这是上帝要来审判的先兆。
短时间内成千上万的贩夫走卒跟随末世先知，连皇家科学院的一些优秀科学家也趋之若鹜，因为一名优秀的科学家，也可能因着对宗教的无知，而陷入异端的泥沼。
牛顿本人是基督徒，他长期的研究圣经但以理书与启示录，相信圣经里提到的这个世界有结束的一天，那是基督耶稣要来审判的时候，但是没有人知道那是哪一天，而且面对末世正确的态度，应该是感恩多于恐惧，坦然多于逃避。因此他不赞同这些到处宣传末世的先知。他认为敬虔的信仰是在热忱中带着节制而非放纵，真 正的被圣灵充满，是由上帝的灵主动，而不是出于自称先知者近乎催眠与暗示的教导。
牛顿对这批先知的反对，立刻引来许多偏激基督徒苦毒的批评与责骂。这种误解实在伤透牛顿的心。牛顿的一生中有一段漫长的信仰动摇期 (1698-1707年)就是在这个时候。对基督徒而言，来自其他基督徒无情的咒诅，比被一般人伤害更难受。伤害容易使人走向极端，后来许多人要证明牛顿是无神论者或不可知论者，就是引自牛顿这段时期的言行。不过信仰的成长，本来就不是一帆风顺的，难免常经忧患。
一七O七年英国国王下令，这批所谓的无知，已经利用宗教得到太多不法利益，便把他们送入伦敦监狱。世界的末日尚未来到，他们的末日倒先来到。自此，末世之风才逐渐平息。
〖 捡贝壳的男孩〗
时间往往是最佳的疗伤剂。牛顿从苦境中转回，他的信仰又逐渐坚固，并且能区分信仰的真实与偏激，能够分别顺服在圣经真理前与在人话语前的不同，且重新思索物理、数学与光学。他在再版的《原理》上写着：『让人知道我是带着对神的信仰来完成这浩大的工作，是我出版这本书最大的喜悦。』
牛顿晚年名满欧洲，贡献普获肯定。他老年最大的乐趣就是跟小孩一起玩耍，有一天他对他的小侄儿讲：『我不知道这个世界将来怎么看我，对我而言，我只像海滩边玩耍的男孩，偶然间发现了一粒比较圆的石头，和一粒比较漂亮的贝壳，就觉得很愉快，但是在我前面，尚未被发现的石头、贝壳仍然多如大海。』
牛顿死于一七二七年三月二十日，晚年写下：
『不管任何环境下，要守住耶稣基督救赎的真理与最大的诫命–爱人如己。』
Testimoni…
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As a Hong Kong female singer and actress, Zhou Huimin grew up in a Christian family and participated in campus fellowship, but in the ups and downs of life, she brushed shoulders with faith many times until she truly received this grace and returned to the arms of her Heavenly Father in 2009.
After the faith, Zhou Huimin’s life was completely renewed and changed, she was enthusiastic about her faith, and even made a comeback, returning to the entertainment industry, not only releasing her first gospel album “HIM”, singing for God, but also joining the new movie “Waiting for a Person’s Coffee” in 2014, and the theme song “Coffee is Waiting for a Person” is also a song of the gospel disc.
On January 1, 2015, “Angel Heart” published the cover story of the January issue, entitled “Grace is waiting for a person – Zhou Huimin”, in which she explained the ups and downs of her life and how to meet the wonderful experience of grace, which is tortuous and wonderful.
Spend your childhood in worry
In the magazine, Zhou Huimin mentioned her childhood, which was supposed to be the happiest and carefree period, but Vivian was the opposite, she was a girl with a lot of worries when she was a child. Since she was a child, she would worried about her mother’s health and worry about practical problems in life, and spent her childhood in anxiety.
When her father died of a heart attack, Vivian had not yet been born, so she never saw her father and the whole family was supported by her mother alone. In the washing and polishing of the cruel reality, Zhou’s mother became serious, not smiling, stubborn, and played the role of the head of the family, while Vivian’s grandmother played the role of a mother, not only very gentle but also laughed with her, so the optimistic part of her personality was influenced by her grandmother.
However, when Vivian was less than 10 years old, her mother fell ill and needed surgery urgently, which could be life-threatening, which made her very panicked, and during the long wait for her mother’s surgery, she thought about many things: Will she never see her mother again after the operation? Grandma is old, if her mother has any strengths and weaknesses, who will take care of herself? and so on.
Fortunately, the surgery was a success and her mother gradually recovered, but Vivian still worries about her health from time to time. She knows that her mother works hard, so as not to worry about her mother anymore, she will automatically do her homework consciously after class, go to bed very early at night, and gradually develop a stubborn character behind self-discipline.
Because there is no man in the family, when she grows up, the responsibility of supporting the family gradually falls on the seemingly weak Vivian, but she is very stubborn in her bones. Because she doesn’t want anything wrong, people like her tend to be more anxious than the average person.
Since she was a child in a Christian school, Vivian has always been involved in school fellowship, but she knows little about faith and does not take it too seriously, but because of the difficulties she will encounter in life, she gradually develops the Xi habit of praying, although she is not sure whether God is listening, but she has no one to talk to, so she has to express her heart in prayer.
First time going to church: Heavenly Father, I’m home
Vivian, who has always been Xi to relying on herself, went out to work in her teens after graduation and felt that she could not be bullied and must be self-reliant, so she was in a state of “fighting” for a long time. In a testimony she wrote on Christmas Day 2013, she said that relying on others or religion is an act of weakness.
Until one day in 2009, a casual conversation with a friend turned her life around. “That day, I had a casual conversation with a friend who had no religious beliefs, and he said that many religions focus on personal cultivation, but those self-imposed standards are indicators that are difficult for mortals to achieve. Christianity emphasizes ‘salvation by faith,’ but I have a hard time accepting this argument because this kind of free salvation is completely contrary to my usual beliefs.
But when I think deeper, if what the Bible says is true, then no matter how good my cultivation is, because I have not accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior, I am still a sinner; even if what the Bible says is not true, I actually have no loss after reading the Bible, and my cultivation will only improve, not regress. I shouldn’t judge what I don’t understand, but I am only qualified to judge when I read the whole Bible and go back to church to hear the pastors preach. ”
It was this mindset of learning a little more that suddenly swelled up in Vivian’s heart, wanting to understand this belief that she had previously held biases. At the same time, she also told her husband Ni Zhen about this idea and received support.
Vivian’s first visit to church was at the Easter service in 2009, when she was so excited that she struggled to suppress her tears. She turned to God in her heart and said, “Father, I’m home!
Witness to faith through music
When she got to know God again, Vivian knew that her singing gift came from God, so she was willing to sing for God, hoping to interpret God’s faith through her music. When she conceived the gospel album, the words of the Bible became her inspiration, and she knew that the gospel disc was made for “God”, so the album was titled “HIM”, which means God. In this album, each song conveys a different theme: judgment, gender relations, life and death, and the heart of a child.
This was the first time Vivian had written a song for God, and she wanted to write about the title “Ribs” from the very beginning. “God created Adam first, saying that it was not good for the man to live alone, and decided to create a spouse to help him, and I realized that this woman was created to fulfill Adam, and in other passages of the Bible, the husband is described as the head of the wife, so I understand that a wife needs to be wise to submit to her husband’s leadership. And how did God make the woman? He put Adam to sleep and took out a rib to create a woman, and Adam woke up and said, “This woman is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh, so husbands should love their wives as they love their bodies.” As I studied this passage in detail, I gained a deeper understanding of the roles of men and women and how partners treat each other. ”
In addition, she composed a song “A Love Like This”, which counted the grace in her life. On January 8, 2015, she wrote on Weibo, “After writing the song “A Love Like This” last year, my intuition is very compatible with the English lyrics, writing about grace and faith to change my life, and the music part is conceived to tie Him, a fresh and simple arrangement so that the vocal’s feelings can be highlighted. ”
Vivian put a lot of effort into making this gospel disc. She mentioned the creative team in a video posted on Weibo on January 9, admitting that although the creative team is not all Christians, the requirement for choosing a lyricist is that she must be familiar with the Bible, because ordinary unbelievers may feel that Christianity, like other religions, leads people to goodness. But in fact, many Christian values are not universal values, so as the creative supervisor of the whole album, she must make sure that the lyrics are correct and do not misinterpret the Christian faith. To this end, Vivian spent a lot of time writing the concepts behind each track, and communicating with the lyricists.
It took a whole year from the preparation to the production of the gospel album, and Vivian admits that she has experienced a lot of waiting and a lot of struggle. On January 9, 2015, “Zhou Huimin Idea Studio” Weibo posted a video of Genesis TV’s interview with Love Earth Observatory “Zhou Huimin Sings for HIM”, in which Vivian talked about her process of recording the album. “I want each song to be produced by a different person, to be able to record in different studios, so that Xi can learn to let go of the old way of recording over the years and open myself up to work with the team instead of being the controller. I have experienced a lot of struggles in the process, because I am a very demanding person, and I have to let go of myself and accept other people’s opinions humbly in teamwork, so when there is a break in the studio, I will calm down and pray, and give everything to God, because I don’t want to be a disc that makes a singer, this is a disc that makes someone else. ‘HIM’, or God, is the protagonist of this disc. ”
She also talked about how to face criticism after public belief because she is an artist, “Since I have faith, I have found that I don’t worry too much about people’s criticism of me, and I won’t pursue it according to world values or universal values, because I won’t measure it according to this ruler.” I don’t use my standards to ask others, which is a big change for me. ”
At the same time, she also mentioned that one of the songs in the gospel album, “Stone Rain”, is precisely about the judgment of the world, inspired by a well-known biblical story: the story of a woman who committed adultery and was stoned by people. “A lot of people say I’m an artist, will I be hypocritical? Some people will say that an artist is a hypocritical person. Sometimes I think about this story, I think people who believe in the Lord understand very well that everyone is full of a lot of sin, and if we are all full of a lot of sin, what right do we have to comment on others? So in the title of each song, you can bring out a lot of thinking. Vivian added.
In the final video, it says, “May Vivian be able to use her gifts to do more beautiful testimonies.” I believe that this is also the expectation and blessing that God and every Christian expect from her.
恩典见证 5.上帝…
作为香港女歌手、演员的周慧敏，从小在基督教家庭长大，也参与过校园团契，但在人生起起伏伏过程中多次与信仰擦肩而过，直到2009年真正得着这个恩典，回到天父怀抱。
信仰后的周慧敏，生命彻底更新改变，为信仰大发热心，甚至重新复出，回归娱乐圈，不仅发行首张福音专辑《HIM》，为上帝而唱，而且在2014年加盟了九把刀新电影《等一个人咖啡》，主题曲《咖啡在等一个人》也是福音碟的歌曲，“等待”这题目既切合电影情节，亦道出了人生路上、信仰路上，许多的等待。
2015年1月1日《天使心》登出1月号封面故事，题为《恩典在等一个人——周慧敏》，她在此次专访中道尽了自己人生的酸甜苦辣，以及如何邂逅恩典的奇妙经历，曲折而精彩。
在忧虑中度过童年
在杂志中，周慧敏提到了自己的童年，原本最应该快乐、无忧无虑的时期，Vivian却刚好相反，她小时候是一个有很多担忧的女孩。自小她便会担心妈妈的健康，担忧生活上的实际问题，在焦虑中度过了她的童年。
父亲因心脏病去世时，Vivian尚未出生，所以她从未见过爸爸，整个家庭只能靠妈妈一个人支撑。在残酷现实的冲刷、打磨中，周妈妈变得严肃、不爱笑、倔强，担当一家之主的角色，而Vivian的嫲嫲则担当着妈妈的角色，不仅很温柔，会与她说笑，所以她性格中乐天的部分都是受嫲嫲影响。
然而，在Vivian不到10岁那年，母亲生病急需动手术，可能还会有生命危险，这让她十分惊慌，在母亲手术时漫长的等待中，她想到许多事情：会不会手术后再也见不到妈妈？嫲嫲年纪大了，若妈妈有什么三长两短，谁来照顾自己？诸如此类的恐惧，油然而生。
好在这次手术很成功，妈妈渐渐康复，但Vivian仍不时会为她的健康而忧心。她知道妈妈工作辛苦，为免妈妈再为她担心，所以下课会自动自觉做功课，晚上很早睡觉，自律的背后，渐渐生成倔强的性格。
因为家中没有男人，所以长大后，养家的责任便渐渐落在看似柔弱的Vivian身上，但她骨子里却非常倔强。由于做事不希望有任何差错，像她这类人会比一般人容易焦虑。
由于自小就读基督教学校，Vivian一直有参与学校团契，但她对信仰却是一知半解，没太当回事，但因为生活中会遇到各样困难，她渐渐培养出祈祷的习惯，虽然不确信是否真有上帝在听，但苦于无人倾诉，只好把心事抒发在祷告里。
第一次去教会：天父，我回家了
向来习惯依靠自己的Vivian，毕业后十几岁便出去工作，觉得不能被人欺负，一定要自强，所以长期处在“战斗”状态。她在2013年圣诞节撰写的一篇见证中说，依靠他人或宗教是软弱的行为。
直到2009年的某一天，一次与朋友的闲谈，扭转了她往后的人生。“那天，我与一位没有宗教信仰的朋友偶然间谈论宗教，谈到很多宗教都着重个人修为，然而那些自我要求的准则，其实是凡人很难达到的指标。基督教强调‘因信得救’，我却很难接受这论调，因为这种白白的救恩与我平时靠自己的信念完全相违背。
但当我想深一层，如果《圣经》所讲的是真实的，那我即使个人修为有多好，因没接受耶稣基督为救主，我仍是罪人；就算《圣经》所讲的非属实，我读了《圣经》其实也没半点损失，个人修为只会提升，不会退步啊。而且我不应该去判断自己不理解的事情，只有当我读完整本《圣经》、回到教会多听牧者讲道，才有资格去判断。”
就是这种多学一点知识的心态，Vivian内心忽然涌起一股渴慕，想去理解这个她之前抱有偏见的信仰。同时，她也把这种想法告诉丈夫倪震，获得了支持。
Vivian第一次到教会，是2009年的复活节崇拜，那天她的心情异常激动，要努力抑压自己感动的泪水。她心里面向上帝说：“天父，我回家了！我回家了！”
通过音乐见证信仰
当重新认识上帝后，Vivian知道她的歌唱恩赐是从上帝而来，所以她愿意为上帝歌唱，希望通过她的音乐解读上帝信仰。当她在构思福音专辑时，《圣经》话语便成为她的灵感源泉，她很明确这张福音碟是为“上帝”而作，所以专辑命名为《HIM》，意指上帝。在这张专辑中，每首歌都传递不同主题：论断、两性关系、生离死别、赤子之心等。
这是Vivian第一次为上帝写歌，她在构思最初，便很想写《肋骨》这个题目。“上帝先造亚当，说那人独居不好，决定要造一个配偶帮助他，我意会到这女人是为了成全亚当而造的；在《圣经》其他章节内，也都形容过丈夫是妻子的头，那么我理解一位太太实在需要有智慧地去顺服丈夫的领导。至于上帝怎造女人呢？祂使亚当沉睡，拿出一条肋骨去造成女人，亚当醒来后说这女人是我骨中的骨、肉中的肉，因此丈夫要爱太太如爱自己的身体一样。当我抽丝剥茧地研读这段经文，我便对男女之间的角色、伴侣如何相待，有更深切的领悟。”
另外她还作了一首《A Love Like This》，内容数算了她生命中的恩典。2015年1月8日，她在微博上写道，“去年写了《A Love Like This》的曲后，直觉很配英文歌词，写恩典和信仰给我生命的改变，而音乐部分构思以结祂为主，清新和简单一点的编曲效果，令vocal的感情可以突出一点。”
在制作这张福音碟时，Vivian非常用心，付出了很多。她在1月9日微博公布的视频里提到创作团队，坦言虽然创作团队不全是基督徒，但自己选择填词人的要求是必须要熟悉《圣经》，因一般未信的人或会觉得：基督教与其他宗教一样，都是导人向善。但其实基督教很多价值观都不是普世价值，因此作为整张大碟的创作监督，她必须要好好把关，确保歌词信息正确，不会令人错误解读基督教信仰。为此，Vivian花了很多时间撰写每首曲目背后的概念，与填词人作出充分的交流和沟通。
由筹备到制作福音专辑，足足花了一整年，Vivian不讳言经历过很多等待、很多挣扎。2015年1月9日，“周慧敏主意工作室”微博发布了创世电视访问——爱地球观察站《周慧敏为 HIM 唱歌》的视频，其中，Vivian谈到自己录制这张专辑的过程。“我希望每首歌都由不同的人去监制，能在不同的录音室录歌，从而学习放下自己过往多年来的一套固有录音模式，开放自己去配合团队，不要成为操控者。过程中经历过很大的挣扎，因为我是一个很高要求的人，团队合作中必须要放下自我，谦卑地去接受别人的意见，所以在录音室当一有break，我便会静下来祷告，把一切交托给上帝，因为我不要做一张造就歌手的碟，这是一张造就别人的碟。‘HIM’，即上帝，才是这张碟的主角。”
她还在视频中谈到由于自己是艺人，公开信仰后遭到批评如何去面对，“自从有了信仰之后，我发觉自己不太担心人对我的批评，也不会按照世界的价值观或者普世价值来追求，因为也不会按照这把尺子来量度。我也更加不会用自己的准则要求别人，这是我很大的一个改变。”
同时，她还提到福音专辑中的一首歌《石头雨》，正是说世界的论断，灵感来于大家都熟悉的一个《圣经》故事：一个犯奸淫的女人被人们投石的故事。“很多人都说我是艺人，会不会虚伪呢？有人会说艺人是否虚伪的人呢？有时候我也会想到这个故事，我觉得信主的人，很明白每个人都充满很多罪，如果我们都充满了很多罪，还有什么资格评论别人呢？所以在每首歌的题目里面可以带出很多的思考。”Vivian补充说道。
最后视频中说，“祝福Vivian能够用她的恩赐，做更多美好的见证。”相信这也是上帝和每位基督徒对她的期待和祝福。
?真实的恩典[90…
音频 三分钟
你们已经饱足了！已经丰富了！不用我们，自己就作王了！我愿意你们果真作王，叫我们也得与你们一同作王。【林前4:8】
上帝有很多好的，丰富的恩典在你身上。而那些恩典能够显明出来的时候呢？很自然的，别人会欣赏，别人也可能会拍手，甚至于很想效法你。但每一个人都要认真的面对自己说，你要很清楚的知道，我所拥有的这些，是上帝的恩典，是领受的。既然是领受的，不可自夸，免得这些祝福，反而成为我们的拦阻。不但拦阻自己，也拦阻别人。
当保罗提醒在群体当中，不要过分的高举人，不要过分的把一个人，好像高高在上说，大家都来崇拜他。其实有一个很重要的原因，他在讲的，在教会，也在很多的群体当中的，一个重要的问题，就是人自己作王。你们已经饱足，已经丰富了，不用我说，自己就作王了。自己作王，高举人到一个地步，把人当作是王。
教会里面最大的一个问题，就是人作王。成为一个基督徒，在我们的一生当中，都在面对这件事，就是让神在我生命里面作王，让神在我们中间作王。这是教会，这也是基督徒生命里面，最重要的一件事。教会到底是主任牧师制，还是长老制？也就是说，主任牧师比较大，还是长老比较大？
在教会里面，我们必须认认真真的承认一件事。我们都小，只有主大，只有让主大。求主帮助我们学会这样的功课，不作王，把王，把那个王权，把那个宝座，交还给神。
一个是那个老喜欢跳起来说话的人，另外是一个跟耶稣最亲近，靠在耶稣的胸膛前的人。到底是谁呢？当人开始在决定谁比较大的时候，我们就落入仇敌的一个诡计里面。
主祷文说，因为国度、权柄、荣耀、都是主的。每个礼拜都念，背诵主祷文，甚至每一天可能都背诵主祷文。但是每一次背诵主祷文到最后，主就提醒我们，当我这样宣告的时候，这是不是我的心呢？国度、权柄、荣耀，全是主的。感谢神 ! 奉主耶稣圣名蒙恩! 阿们!
?真实的恩典[89…
音频 三分钟
人应当以我们为基督的执事，为神奥秘事的管家。所求于管家的，是要他有忠心。【林前4:1-2】
人应当把我当做基督的执事。这个执事其实就是仆人，是神奥秘事的管家，所求于管家的，上帝所以重用他们的一生，因为他们有很多荣耀的榜样，这就是忠心。他知道我的老板，我的主管，我天上的这一位主，祂托付我的是什么。那是神给我的使命，使命必达。
人是看外面的现象，神却是看内心的，神在乎的是你内心。当神鉴察我的心的时候，我的心在神面前，站不站得住呢？
办公室是一个群体，我们所住的那个小区是一个群体，家族是群体。我们每一天都生活在，各个不同的群体当中。而在群体里面，你就是会碰到很多的事情。
保罗曾说，在群体当中，我们有的时候会很崇拜领袖，我们觉得他们真的很棒，他们有很多值得我们学习的，很想效法他们。但是保罗一方面提醒说，效法这些人是好事，但是你一定要知道，他所做的合不合乎圣经的原则。所以我们效法他们，不可以过于圣经的教导。
提醒这些人可能被别人欣赏，可能被别人崇拜，别人很想学习他们的这些人。你的学历、你的经历、你的能力，是这样累积起来的，因为你在基督教家庭里面长大，所以你比别人读圣经更容易懂一点，更早开始读圣经，更多的领受一些圣经的真理，所以你可以讲得比别人清楚一点。这有什么了不起，因为你在这个环境里面，是神把你放在这个环境里面的。
神有给你很特别、很优秀、很棒，我们都是领受的。既然是领受的，没有什么可夸的，而我们所领受的这些，是为着服事别人的。让我们对自己，有一个合宜的态度。感谢神 ! 奉主耶稣圣名蒙恩! 阿们!